How can I be tougher and grow a thicker skin and think under pressure like a surgeon?

[Alakazam123]

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I generally am a confident person. I take pride in doing the best possible work I can.

However, I really messed up today in my lab work. I had been doing the ELISA assay for the past couple weeks and it was constantly yielding poor results.

I met with my PI, and he's a nice guy. But he worked with me to dissect why my ELISA was going wrong. When he saw that I was apparently doing the steps right, he asked me to explain to him the reasons behind why the primary and secondary antibody were used.

I stumbled on the names of the specific antibodies, and that's it...the panic started...I could feel my heart beating at a hundred miles a minute, and perspiration started to form on my forehead.

The PI didn't notice, and pressed on with the questions. Deep inside, I knew the answer to the questions, but under pressure, I over-explained the wrong stuff, and under-explained the important things, and came off as an uninformed numb-skull.

It was so embarrassing.

I look at surgeons and physicians, who think under pressure. I've heard that residents get yelled at all the time in surgical residency. How do you survive that and keep going?

I want to learn to be tough...I'm tired of being a wimp 🙁

Ultimately my PI was upset with my lack of comprehension of the assay despite having done it so many times 🙁 🙁

 

[ciestar]

You get used to it and it gets better with time as you learn more and more confident with your answers. This happens on third year rotations a lot. I freeze at least once a day. I know with time that will resolve

 

[don't you dare]

I'm sorry but you're last couple lines were cute. you're not a wimp haha

With all that aside, I think it's great that you know areas you can improve yourself. Honestly, I believe when you are setting your foot into medicine, you are committed to become a life-long learner, but the thing is that you cannot know EVERYTHING.
at the end of the day we all make mistakes but we shouldn't let that impact our identity yah know?

You can email your PI about the situation, how you felt and explain to him/her what you really know. if you really want to
This all in all is an experience you may need to build that thick skin.

But man I feel you LOL

 

[FreeRadicals]

The important question is "Why?" Whenever you do/take a step, always ask yourself why till it is drilled into you - I've done that while doing research and it has really helped me fundamentally understand the research I did; most people monotonously do steps over and over and never know why.

 

[Alakazam123]

Thank you for all your comments. Any docs or surgeons to weigh in here?

 

[Lifeblood_20]

I can relate to your concerns, OP. I've made a thread with a similar question: Developing a Thick Skin

You think you messed up today; that's alright. Everybody messes up. Relax.
Next time talking to your PI, try to be conscious of what you want to say before you start talking. Make strong eye contact, speak louder, talk more slowly, formulate concrete thoughts before you articulate. It's perfectly ok to say "I'm sorry, I understand the concepts, but am not sure how to coherently explain it."

In the long-term, go easy on yourself; the ability to handle pressure and criticism is acquired with practice and time.
Go interact with more people who pressure you, get a job where you are constantly criticized, volunteer for people who can be not at all appreciative of the service you do in the slightest. These kinds of experiences really force you to grow and toughen up.

 

[Goro]

I generally am a confident person. I take pride in doing the best possible work I can.

However, I really messed up today in my lab work. I had been doing the ELISA assay for the past couple weeks and it was constantly yielding poor results.

I met with my PI, and he's a nice guy. But he worked with me to dissect why my ELISA was going wrong. When he saw that I was apparently doing the steps right, he asked me to explain to him the reasons behind why the primary and secondary antibody were used.

I stumbled on the names of the specific antibodies, and that's it...the panic started...I could feel my heart beating at a hundred miles a minute, and perspiration started to form on my forehead.

The PI didn't notice, and pressed on with the questions. Deep inside, I knew the answer to the questions, but under pressure, I over-explained the wrong stuff, and under-explained the important things, and came off as an uninformed numb-skull.

It was so embarrassing.

I look at surgeons and physicians, who think under pressure. I've heard that residents get yelled at all the time in surgical residency. How do you survive that and keep going?

I want to learn to be tough...I'm tired of being a wimp 🙁

Ultimately my PI was upset with my lack of comprehension of the assay despite having done it so many times 🙁 🙁

Take some acting, speech or debate classes. Or do stand-up comedy. Seriously.

 

[On_The_Way_Up]

Do you work? Get a job or like others have said do something like toastmasters(public speaking help and debates). Growing up and working multiple jobs throughout my life toughened me up and playing sports. Especially grocery store and fast food jobs. Some of those people really toughen you up.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Having been in combat, on winter mountaineering/climbing trips, making presentations in front of large audience, and standup in small places years and years ago, I can tell you that stand up is by far the hardest thing. Making jokes, being funny is easy. Dealing with hecklers hard; Dealing with hecklers when the crowd is laughing at their comments harder; dealing with heckler when that crowd is not laughing at your stuff, when you lose the room, and you are standing up on the stage, by yourself, alone, exposed, naked in all but clothes, with everyone in the audience judging you and you cant get a line out other than sounding like a babbling idiot, makes you wish for anything else, root canal, IRS audit, having to take the MCAT again, anything else.

There is an excellent documentary on the subject with dozens of comics talking about their work. Title says it all.
Dying Laughing (2016) - IMDb

I have done stand up before. I would take another missile strike over getting up on stage to do stand up again any day.

 

[Mopsd]

Work experience helped me with a similar issue. Go get a retail or entry-level public service job. A volunteer opportunity that relies on heavy interaction with the public could also do.

During my recent gap years, I worked at the airport as a public servant...had interactions with dozens of individuals on a daily basis. It allowed me to practice these skills plus more. Interesting experience...dealt with a ton of entitled people who belittled us and everything in between. It was a shock at first but I eventually got used to it.