Mine started out like this, "The ringing of the tones signaled it was time for us to move" and I go on to explain a shadowing experience I had with my father, an EMT on a military installation. It ends up as a transition into my experiences growing up with my grandparents living with us: one had lung cancer and, after her death, the other ended up with alzheimer's -- and my subsequent feelings of helplessness and futility as I wanted to do something but couldn't.
Although I think introducing the experiences first, then having a flashback back to the kid in the EMS run, may grab their attention better.
"My grandfather, refusing to accept what had happened, began to hit my grandmother?s chest -- he had seen my father use CPR once to resuscitate a man in a bowling alley. I remained in the corner, knowing once again the torturous familiarity of helplessness."
Maybe then transition into the kid experience? Such as, "My attention refocused, having been momentarily engulfed by the overwhelming deluge of emotions brokered by the sight of the helpless kid, as though an emotional dam was just busted open by a thousand tons of dynamite."
None of this is BS by the way. I really realized all of this on that one EMS run. What do you guys think? Which introduction would make you think, "What? Maybe I should read more"
