These are my favorite scripts, learned from lecturers in school, mentors, and things that I've made up myself:
1) Prepare your patient for the worst case scenario. If it happens, you're a genius for predicting the future. If it doesn't happen, you're a hero for avoiding disaster.
"Mr Jones, looking at the xray, I see the cavity is pretty close to the nerve. If the cavity goes into the nerve, you may need a root canal procedure. Believe me when I say I'm trying to avoid that. If it doesn't I'll lay down some medicine [DPC/IPC] to help the nerve heal. (after procedure) Mr Jones, the cavity stopped just short of the nerve, I put some medicine in before I put the filling. If everything goes our way [not your way, but our way] it will be achy for a few days then settle down. If it gives you a toothache then we need to consider doing a root canal procedure down the road."
"Mr Jones, this abscess has been here for a very long time. Sometimes the anesthetic doesn't get you numb 100% because of the infection, but I'll try my best."
2) Choose your words carefully (as mentioned before). My favorite opener is "Despite my best effort..." (learned from Dr Pride of Pride Institute).
"Mr Jones, despite my best effort to avoid it, the cavity was right at the nerve, so we'll need to start a root canal procedure." (neutral statement).
"Mr Jones, despite my best effort, this crown is not the best possible crown [open margin, oepn contact, whatever] that I can make for you, and I *want* you to have the best possible crown. We'll need to take another impression, and I'm sorry for the inconvenience.
"Mr Jones, despite my best effort, this little piece of tooth [root tip] absolutely does not want to come out. Rather than doing potentially more damage, I will leave the root tip in/refer you to a specialist."
Phrase it in such a way that you state specifically the facts, without placing the blame on yourself (whether or not it really *is* your fault).
3) Try hard to avoid conjoinders like "but" or "however" as subconsicously this may raise read flags in the patients brains, since good news rarely follows those words.
4) Use simple language that they can understand. "The cavity was right at the nerve" is much easier to understand than "There was a carious exposure of the pulp horn".
5) Listen to what your patient has to say without interrupting them. If your patient is a talker , guide the conversation. One good communication cue that I learned is repeating/rephrasing a patient's key fear/concern, this tells the patient that you really are listening. Avoid "uh-huh", and "yeah", use "I understand", "yes".
"Mr Jones, if I understand you correctly, you want to take care of the broken teeth in the back before we do the cosmetic work in the front?"
6) Make yourself the dental hero/dental Superman, and that you're looking out for them, and you'll earn their respect, which in turn can help avoid litigation. I can't stress that empathy is critical.
Phobic patient: "You're hurting me!"
Me: "I'm not trying to hurt you on purpose, I'm trying to help you. Relax and I'll get this done a lot faster."
(when a procedure is taking longer than I expected)
"I know this isn't fun, but hang in there, we're almost done!"
"You did great today, we got a lot done!"
7) No matter what you say or how you say it, you won't win a few people over. Let it go, and as long as you've practiced the standard of care, you have nothing t o worry about.
These are the scripts that I actually use. It does sound corny when I read it, but believe me, they go over well with patients.