how do you properly handle acceptances and waitllists?

[chasingadream]

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any one have suggestions on how to balance the offer in hand and a waitlist offer? i know there is an acceptance and waitlist thread and a waitlist blues thread, but i figured this is somewhere in between. since there may be alot of discussion on this, i don't want to derail the other threads....

i know we should only hold one offer at a time so i have released others. so, as things are now, i have an acceptance to my second choice school but have been waitlisted at my first choice. looking at past applicant data, it seems like decent odds i may get in, but with things so competitive this year i feel like more people may be accepting their offers than years past and applicant data from years past may be meaningless. i have not been told where i am on the waitlist but reading between the lines it seems good (i recieved emails from 2 POIs there telling me to hang in and they would stay in touch, but no word from the DCT and the school has been strange about informing us about where they are in the process "decisions have not been reached and you are still under consideration" even though the POIs told me offers were out).

so, my question is: how do you navigate this treacherous situation?i don't want to wait till the last minute for my waitlist school and offend my POI where i am accepted only to end up going there starting on the wrong foot (nor do i want to screw them over), but i also don't want to miss an opportunity at my first choice. i love the program where i am accepted, the POI really went to bat for me and i would be very happy there and would like to maintain a professional relationship with them in the future. how long can you really wait without damaging your relationship with the program you have an offer for? should i be more aggressive with the waitlist school to find out where i really am on the waitlist? even if i do find out what will that mean and how long should people hang in?

 

[Jezebel09]

any one have suggestions on how to balance the offer in hand and a waitlist offer? i know there is an acceptance and waitlist thread and a waitlist blues thread, but i figured this is somewhere in between. since there may be alot of discussion on this, i don't want to derail the other threads....

i know we should only hold one offer at a time so i have released others. so, as things are now, i have an acceptance to my second choice school but have been waitlisted at my first choice. looking at past applicant data, it seems like decent odds i may get in, but with things so competitive this year i feel like more people may be accepting their offers than years past and applicant data from years past may be meaningless. i have not been told where i am on the waitlist but reading between the lines it seems good (i recieved emails from 2 POIs there telling me to hang in and they would stay in touch, but no word from the DCT and the school has been strange about informing us about where they are in the process "decisions have not been reached and you are still under consideration" even though the POIs told me offers were out).

so, my question is: how do you navigate this treacherous situation?i don't want to wait till the last minute for my waitlist school and offend my POI where i am accepted only to end up going there starting on the wrong foot (nor do i want to screw them over), but i also don't want to miss an opportunity at my first choice. i love the program where i am accepted, the POI really went to bat for me and i would be very happy there and would like to maintain a professional relationship with them in the future. how long can you really wait without damaging your relationship with the program you have an offer for? should i be more aggressive with the waitlist school to find out where i really am on the waitlist? even if i do find out what will that mean and how long should people hang in?

Actually, you are allowed to hold two offers. . . .

You have until April 15th to make your decision. Hopefully, if you end up attending the school that has already accepted you (because the waitlist didn't pan out), they won't hold it against you. And, if you end up not attending their program, they should understand that as well. At least, they shouldn't. You are following the guidelines.

The information contained in the Council of University Directors
of Clinical Psychology Guidelines for Graduate School should help you. It gives guidelines for offers and acceptances: http://www.temple.edu/psychology/clinical/documents/guidelines.pdf

Also, included in this PDF is some information about finding out your status as a waitlistee (#5B) in the document.

 

[UnLurked]

Actually, you are allowed to hold two offers. . . .

You have until April 15th to make your decision. Hopefully, if you end up attending the school that has already accepted you (because the waitlist didn't pan out), they won't hold it against you. And, if you end up not attending their program, they should understand that as well. At least, they shouldn't. You are following the guidelines.

The information contained in the Council of University Directors
of Clinical Psychology Guidelines for Graduate School should help you. It gives guidelines for offers and acceptances: http://www.temple.edu/psychology/clinical/documents/guidelines.pdf

Also, included in this PDF is some information about finding out your status as a waitlistee (#5B) in the document.

I couldn't actually find in there where it says that you can only hold two offers at a time and I recently had a professor who was horrified by the idea that some school had told me that under false pretenses. The actual verbage is that you shouldn't hold more than you are seriously considering. I freely admit that I could have missed something in there (and would like to have it pointed out if I did) but I think the two offers rule is a sensible guideline and not a hard and fast rule.

 

[Jezebel09]

I couldn't actually find in there where it says that you can only hold two offers at a time and I recently had a professor who was horrified by the idea that some school had told me that under false pretenses. The actual verbage is that you shouldn't hold more than you are seriously considering. I freely admit that I could have missed something in there (and would like to have it pointed out if I did) but I think the two offers rule is a sensible guideline and not a hard and fast rule.

To clarify, I wasn't stating that the 2 school maximum was in the PDF in my above post. Sorry about the confusion.

You're right that you should only hold two offers if you are seriously considering them. These guidelines state that "a student should not hold more offers than they are seriously considering". However, I have read elsewhere in such books as the Insider's Guide that two is the max.

And, yes, these are guidelines not rules. But, they are the closest thing to actual protocol that we have, so I am going to follow them. I don't believe any actual rules exist. 🙂

 

[Jezebel09]

I couldn't actually find in there where it says that you can only hold two offers at a time and I recently had a professor who was horrified by the idea that some school had told me that under false pretenses. The actual verbage is that you shouldn't hold more than you are seriously considering. I freely admit that I could have missed something in there (and would like to have it pointed out if I did) but I think the two offers rule is a sensible guideline and not a hard and fast rule.

I'm curious. What horrified your professor? After all, schools do the same thing. They don't send out acceptances and not have people on the waitlist as backups. I cannot imagine getting an offer and having to immediately decide whether or not I wanted to attend that school without having another offer in hand.

 

[UnLurked]

I'm curious. What horrified your professor? After all, schools do the same thing. They don't send out acceptances and not have people on the waitlist as backups. I cannot imagine getting an offer and having to immediately decide whether or not I wanted to attend that school without having another offer in hand.

I may have been a little confusing in my post above. She (a professor at the school I'm currently taking some classes) was shocked at the idea that a program had told me I couldn't hold more than two offers because to her it indicated they were putting pressure on applicants by, essentially, lying to them. It was something that made me nervous because it isn't that difficult to foresee a situation where an applicant might hold more than two offers at a time and be validly comparing them, in part, because they all seem to be going out around the same time but also because some of us have commitments that make the decision process more complicated (i.e. I'm married).

That said, I didn't make it clear in my previous post but I firmly believe one should hold as few offers as they can at a time. There are truly tremendous people out there waiting. Judging from my own anxiety and a reference I saw comparing waiting to waterboarding on another thread, holding more offers than you are seriously considering may even be immoral.

 

[Jezebel09]

Judging from my own anxiety and a reference I saw comparing waiting to waterboarding on another thread, holding more offers than you are seriously considering may even be immoral.

I agree with you on that one. Why would anyone hold an acceptance, if s/he were not seriously considering the school?

But, it is in fact just a guideline, so your professor is probably right.

But, I would think that the real difficulty is more likely to occur when choosing between two schools, not among three or more. I just think that when someone has been accepted to three or more schools s/he knows that one of them is no longer really in the running. (I'm sure there are exceptions.)

 

[chasingadream]

Actually, you are allowed to hold two offers. . . .

You have until April 15th to make your decision. Hopefully, if you end up attending the school that has already accepted you (because the waitlist didn't pan out), they won't hold it against you. And, if you end up not attending their program, they should understand that as well. At least, they shouldn't. You are following the guidelines.

The information contained in the Council of University Directors
of Clinical Psychology Guidelines for Graduate School should help you. It gives guidelines for offers and acceptances: http://www.temple.edu/psychology/clinical/documents/guidelines.pdf

Also, included in this PDF is some information about finding out your status as a waitlistee (#5B) in the document.

thanks for the link. so, i understand the rules about holding offers- my question is more about weighing your chances when you are on a waitlist and how to communicate with a school awaiting your reply. i realize that people shouldn't hold it against you when you follow the guidelines regarding decision dates. but, let's face it, people aren't always able to control their emotions the way they should or in accordance with guidelines (if they did we'd be out of a job). i've heard stories about faculty members getting really impatient and upset (i kinda understand because they want a good student as much as we want an acceptance and don't want to loose their second choice b/c we took forever).

i would like to know how people correspond with faculty when they ask about your decision before April 15th without offending them and how to get information from a school you are waitlisted at to make an informed decision on whether to wait it out or not. i am also curious how people are making the decision on how long to stay on the waitlist when they have another offer.

 

[Jezebel09]

thanks for the link. so, i understand the rules about holding offers- my question is more about weighing your chances when you are on a waitlist and how to communicate with a school awaiting your reply. i realize that people shouldn't hold it against you when you follow the guidelines regarding decision dates. but, let's face it, people aren't always able to control their emotions the way they should or in accordance with guidelines (if they did we'd be out of a job). i've heard stories about faculty members getting really impatient and upset (i kinda understand because they want a good student as much as we want an acceptance and don't want to loose their second choice b/c we took forever).

i would like to know how people correspond with faculty when they ask about your decision before April 15th without offending them and how to get information from a school you are waitlisted at to make an informed decision on whether to wait it out or not. i am also curious how people are making the decision on how long to stay on the waitlist when they have another offer.

Okay, I see what you're asking. That's a hard one. That happened to a classmate of mine a few years back. He was being pressed for a decision, and he was trying to decide between two programs. Technically, he had until April 15 to decide.

I think you need to get a feel for your POI. Is s/he seemingly annoyed that you have not accepted yet, or is s/he cool about it?

In a perfect world, if a POI was pressuring me when s/he knew the guidelines, I would take his or her impatience as a sign of things to come. But, in this case, if you tick off this POI and you don't get into your first choice, you'll be left out in the cold.

So, I again say, take the temperature of the water. How is the POI reacting thus far? Your interactions with him or her will be dependent on that.

Thus far, my school has been very laidback about my decision. I haven't been pressed at all yet, which I think speaks volumes about how they will be when I am in the program (if I accept).

 

[olychick65]

Wow, I'm really surprised by all this because one of my acceptances told in (in my official letter) that I could only hold 1 acceptance at a time by APA guidelines... is that not true?

 

[UnLurked]

thanks for the link. so, i understand the rules about holding offers- my question is more about weighing your chances when you are on a waitlist and how to communicate with a school awaiting your reply. i realize that people shouldn't hold it against you when you follow the guidelines regarding decision dates. but, let's face it, people aren't always able to control their emotions the way they should or in accordance with guidelines (if they did we'd be out of a job). i've heard stories about faculty members getting really impatient and upset (i kinda understand because they want a good student as much as we want an acceptance and don't want to loose their second choice b/c we took forever).

i would like to know how people correspond with faculty when they ask about your decision before April 15th without offending them and how to get information from a school you are waitlisted at to make an informed decision on whether to wait it out or not. i am also curious how people are making the decision on how long to stay on the waitlist when they have another offer.

That's actually a really great question and I apologize for not attempting to address it earlier. I am also worried about how long it takes for not accepting to become rude. I think some degree of waiting is understood and while I wouldn't want to wait down to the wire I would hope that professors are understanding about it. The bottom line is that I would think that waiting related awkwardness would wear off rather quickly. This isn't the professors first time doing this (in most cases) and so they might be less emotionally invested in it than we are.

 

[Jezebel09]

That's actually a really great question and I apologize for not attempting to address it earlier. I am also worried about how long it takes for not accepting to become rude. I think some degree of waiting is understood and while I wouldn't want to wait down to the wire I would hope that professors are understanding about it. The bottom line is that I would think that waiting related awkwardness would wear off rather quickly. This isn't the professors first time doing this (in most cases) and so they might be less emotionally invested in it than we are.

I think that, on the whole, they are less emotionally invested than we are. But, as it gets down to the wire, their waitlistees begin to dwindle and accept other universities' offers. They then become afraid that they might not get the cream of the crop.

 

[prettikittibaby]

Question: How exactly do post-interview notifications work??? Is everyone waitlisted unless the position has already been accepted? Or does 1 person receive the offer, 4 more get waitlisted, and 2 ppl are outright rejected? ???

 

[PsychPhDone]

Question: How exactly do post-interview notifications work??? Is everyone waitlisted unless the position has already been accepted? Or does 1 person receive the offer, 4 more get waitlisted, and 2 ppl are outright rejected? ???

Completely depends on the program. You can ask the POI/DCT where you stand right now.

 

[psychlady]

i posted this in another thread but it seems most appropriate here...what do you say when you receive an offer but do not have an answer yet? i am still in the process of interviewing so as of now I am not able to decide if the program I have an offer from is the best fit. do they even expect you to respond? i am just not sure how to go about this. any help would be appreciated.

 

[cheer12345]

i posted this in another thread but it seems most appropriate here...what do you say when you receive an offer but do not have an answer yet? i am still in the process of interviewing so as of now I am not able to decide if the program I have an offer from is the best fit. do they even expect you to respond? i am just not sure how to go about this. any help would be appreciated.

I just sent a quick email along the lines of "thank you so much, I am honored to be accepted to your program and I will be sure to get back to you with a decision by the April 15th deadline. Short and simple.

 

[futureapppsy2]

What if we're still waiting on funding information? As of late tonight, I'm holding three offers, but I'm waiting to hear back from two schools regarding funding specifics, a key factor in my choice. Would it be appropriate to hold all three offers and then drop one or two depending on the responses I receive re: funding?

 

[psychstudent613]

What if we're still waiting on funding information? As of late tonight, I'm holding three offers, but I'm waiting to hear back from two schools regarding funding specifics, a key factor in my choice. Would it be appropriate to hold all three offers and then drop one or two depending on the responses I receive re: funding?

APA only says (I think) that you should only hold what you reasonably are considering. If the funding will make it or break it on your decision- I think you can hold it, but call the schools that you are waiting on. maybe they know approximately the amounts ect
IMHO, remember those who are on wait-lists and dont put them in extra agony, but still dont cheat yourself.
Good luck on making this decision! 🙂

 

[futureapppsy2]

APA only says (I think) that you should only hold what you reasonably are considering. If the funding will make it or break it on your decision- I think you can hold it, but call the schools that you are waiting on. maybe they know approximately the amounts ect
IMHO, remember those who are on wait-lists and dont put them in extra agony, but still dont cheat yourself.
Good luck on making this decision! 🙂

I've sent emails (most school psych faculty are currently at NASP so cllls would probably go unaswered this week) asking the specific questions that are important to my decision, and after I hear back, I will decide which offer(s) to decline. As someone who's been on two waitlists (one which I was admitted off of and one which I am still on), I'm completely sympathetic to those on alternate lists. 😉

 

[savethedrama]

Any idea how long it takes to receive word on funding after you receive the official letter? I am also waiting to hear about funding as well; I really don't want to keep people on the waiting lists waiting.

 

[hamsterpants]

I've sent emails (most school psych faculty are currently at NASP so cllls would probably go unaswered this week) asking the specific questions that are important to my decision, and after I hear back, I will decide which offer(s) to decline. As someone who's been on two waitlists (one which I was admitted off of and one which I am still on), I'm completely sympathetic to those on alternate lists. 😉

I think you are right to wait for funding (unless it was for a school you hated and wouldn't go to for a million dollars!). Funding is super important in these decisions, especially this year when budgets are tighter than usual.
👍

 

[HopefulPsych15]

anyone holding on to an offer at George Mason? i'm almost reluctant to post this question (out of some strange superstition that it will jinx my chances of being accepted, haha), but i'm dying to know if the person who was offered the position with my POI is leaning towards another program...

thanks!

 

[lamorena]

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[psychgrad10]

so.. i have an acceptance from a school requesting a reply by april 1st. how do i tell them nicely that according to the APA, i should have until april 15th?? a school i recently interviewed at told applicants that if schools pressure you to reply before april 15th, they are in jeopardy of risking their APA accreditation. does anyone have any experience with asking schools to give you until april 15th when they are pushing for notification by an earlier date??? what should i say??

My program was weird and it was MUCH earlier decision date than that which made me a little nervous. It was my first choice and I accepted, but I didn't know what to think of it.

To me, the difference in time doesn't seem like much at least you don't need to decide by next week or something, will you have your decision before the 15th? You could just say "I assumed that because of guidelines set by APA, I would have until April 15th to decide and I was just wondering...". I think I may wait a little bit before asking, like not the next day after you get the acceptance haha

 

[Wapote84]

so.. i have an acceptance from a school requesting a reply by april 1st. how do i tell them nicely that according to the APA, i should have until april 15th?? a school i recently interviewed at told applicants that if schools pressure you to reply before april 15th, they are in jeopardy of risking their APA accreditation. does anyone have any experience with asking schools to give you until april 15th when they are pushing for notification by an earlier date??? what should i say??

Are u effin serious? That is so janky. Schools have absolutely no right to tell you that you must give them a decision before April 15th. They honestly can lose their accreditation for infractions such as this. Just because I'm so big on ethics, if you don't go to that school... you should report their practices to the APA. Schools DO extend offers after the April 15th deadline; granted they won't get their top choices most likely, but it's how the game is played.

I wouldn't even respond to the school's request... just wait and make your decision. If it's before April 1st, good for them, if not, tough ****. I personally think that its wrong for schools to pressure applicants like that.

There was a school that interviewed me that mentioned that other schools may give me ultimatums such as this, or even be more creative by offering financial packages with expiration dates. These are both bull**** practices.

Keep your eye on the prize. If I was in your situation, I would be sure to remember that when it came down to decision time. If there was another school that I liked just as much, I would decline the rule-breakers.

 

[Wapote84]

My program was weird and it was MUCH earlier decision date than that which made me a little nervous. It was my first choice and I accepted, but I didn't know what to think of it.

To me, the difference in time doesn't seem like much at least you don't need to decide by next week or something, will you have your decision before the 15th? You could just say "I assumed that because of guidelines set by APA, I would have until April 15th to decide and I was just wondering...". I think I may wait a little bit before asking, like not the next day after you get the acceptance haha

uh that is ludicrously scandalous. Its called THE DAY for a reason. Its THE DAY for decisions from all parties involved.

 

[Wapote84]

i posted this in another thread but it seems most appropriate here...what do you say when you receive an offer but do not have an answer yet? i am still in the process of interviewing so as of now I am not able to decide if the program I have an offer from is the best fit. do they even expect you to respond? i am just not sure how to go about this. any help would be appreciated.

I would say this:

Thank you so much for your offer! I am genuinely honored to be accepted into your stupendous institution. (or something like that) However, I am currently waiting to hear from other schools where I have applied, and would like to hear their offers before making any final decisions. I give you my word that as soon as I have made any decisions, I will notify all parties involved immediately. Thanks, and we'll talk soon toodles...

Honestly, I think honesty is the best policy, and letting schools know you're marketable is a good thing. It also will give you an upper hand in negotiations (YES! you can negotiate with schools once offers have been extended!). But you should never hold acceptances that you aren't considering. After you have accepted an offer, it's only fair to your other applicants that you notify other schools of your status.

 

[psychgrad10]

uh that is ludicrously scandalous. Its called THE DAY for a reason. Its THE DAY for decisions from all parties involved.

For me, it wasn't required, it was just recommended (strongly, I think). If a school REQUIRES a response or you won't get in, hopefully they would be aware that it is wrong. You shouldn't be penalized for not replying before April 15th.

Maybe it's not required by April 1st but maybe they want to move along the process, especially for people who don't want to go but are holding onto the offer just in case? I hope...😳

Either way, it should be addressed that APA states that you need not have a decision prior to April 15th.

 

[lamorena]

[.

 

[Wapote84]

well, the letter i received basically says that if they do not receive the initial deposit by april 1, my spot will be forfeited. i agree with what wapote is saying..(altho i have never heard the word "janky" in my life! ) i just dont know how to say to them, hey, wait, what about the APA policies?! i want to have as long as possible because i dont know what's going to happen in the next few weeks..i want to see what the outcome will be of my other interviews before deciding. so, obviously, the 15th would be better for me!

dude... please photocopy that letter and send it to the APA if you don't go to that school. They already seem super shady to me. If a school ever required that... I would probably wait all the way til April 15th to let them know I respectfully decline your offer. This is of course after I already sent the letter to the legitimate parties at the APA. Homie don't play that...


btw.... thats sooo hardcore for them to send that to you in writing. Usually thats something that schools will STRONGLY suggest over the phone, which is still shady, but I understand their situation. I guess they cross the line when they demand an answer, or even worse, when they threaten you with forfeiture of your position in WRITING....

 

[phdpsych]

Once accepted, are you all emailing/calling your programs with questions you have about it? If so, care to share the types of questions you are asking? I plan to ask a few in terms of funding, but I was wondering if there are other things I should be thinking about as well...also, the program I was accepted to does not operate on a mentorship model, so I am wondering who I would address these questions to...any suggestions?

 

[Alacrity]

Okay, so I've verbally accepted an offer, received an email copy of the offer, and I think the actual paper offer is in the mail on its way to me. At this point is it safe for me to decline other offers and remove myself from consideration at other schools? Or should I wait until I've received the paper copy, signed it, and confirmed that the graduate school has received it?

I'd like to let schools know they should stop considering me, but I'm afraid to jump the gun. Thanks!

 

[Psydoct]

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[Psydoct]

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[Alacrity]

So I got an informal email saying that I've been accepted to the program from the POI on the weekend, and he says he wants to talk to me over the phone today.

Is this common and why would he want to talk to me? Another interview (this won't make sense) or to pressure me to make decisions? Or to ask me if I REALLY want to come?? Ahh!

What should I expect?😎 Anyone had this experience?

My POI sent an email saying I should "Call him to discuss admission to the PhD Program." When I called he made the verbal offer. Its not quite the same as your situation, but similar. I really wish I had thought about what I was going to say when I spoke with him, I was just happy to get an offer from my #1. Your POI might just want to say congrats and gauge your interest and possible ask you if you plan to accept, don't feel pressured though! Especially if you aren't sure yet. Also, it might be a good time to bring up funding.

 

[buzzworm]

My POI sent an email saying I should "Call him to discuss admission to the PhD Program." When I called he made the verbal offer. Its not quite the same as your situation, but similar. I really wish I had thought about what I was going to say when I spoke with him, I was just happy to get an offer from my #1. Your POI might just want to say congrats and gauge your interest and possible ask you if you plan to accept, don't feel pressured though! Especially if you aren't sure yet. Also, it might be a good time to bring up funding.

This is my guess too. A POI from one of my schools emailed me last week saying, "I have some good news, what's a good time to call you?" At that point, I pretty much knew what he was going to say, and when he called he offered me a spot in the program. I think a lot of POIs just want to touch base with their applicants to make the offer more personal, and sometimes gauge interest. If you're not sure yet whether you're going to accept, that's totally fine - you can just respond with "I'm excited to hear from you, and I'll get back to you with my decision by April 15th."

 

[GeorgiaJones]

Okay, so I've verbally accepted an offer, received an email copy of the offer, and I think the actual paper offer is in the mail on its way to me. At this point is it safe for me to decline other offers and remove myself from consideration at other schools? Or should I wait until I've received the paper copy, signed it, and confirmed that the graduate school has received it?

I'd like to let schools know they should stop considering me, but I'm afraid to jump the gun. Thanks!

Wow! I'm applying in the fall so it will be a while before I have to worry about this kind of thing, but how does one know when they are "in"?

 

[savethedrama]

Is it okay to reject an offer before you get an official letter and any word on funding?

 

[lamorena]

.

 

[Jezebel09]

i think i read on here somewhere that people should not decline an offer until they have signed and accepted an offer and mailed it in? is this so? i have the offer from school A in writing, but have not yet accepted, as stated above, b/c I am waiting on school C. is it safe to decline the other offer from school B? or should I wait until I have successfully accepted an offer from either A or C before I decline B?

Once you have received an offer in writing from a school (as long as funding issues were included along with that offer), you can then feel safe declining an offer from another school. Meaning, you can decline school B and then wait to hear from school C.

Good luck!!!