How do you show and not tell on personal statements and med school essays?

[mrh125]

This is really bugging me to the point where I don't want to even bother attempting drafts of my personal statement until I sort this out.

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[Boolean]

Posting a reply from Reddit that I feel most would I agree to:

"Stories. Pick a few very specific incidents that showcase some of your best characteristics and your motivation, write about them in a few succinct paragraphs and expand from there. Your words will be generic almost always, but your anecdotes are what will make you unique."

 

[Mt Kilimanjaro]

https://archive.org/stream/farewelltoarms01hemi/farewelltoarms01hemi_djvu.txt

 

[Boolean]

https://archive.org/stream/farewelltoarms01hemi/farewelltoarms01hemi_djvu.txt

On that note,

I try to share this piece with every writer I know. An excerpt from the longer essay posted on litreactor:

"In six seconds, you’ll hate me.

But in six months, you’ll be a better writer.

From this point forward – at least for the next half year – you may not use “thought” verbs. These include: Thinks, Knows, Understands, Realizes, Believes, Wants, Remembers, Imagines, Desires, and a hundred others you love to use.

The list should also include: Loves and Hates.

And it should include: Is and Has, but we’ll get to those, later. Until some time around Christmas, you can’t write: Kenny wondered if Monica didn’t like him going out at night…”

Instead, you’ll have to Un-pack that to something like: “The mornings after Kenny had stayed out, beyond the last bus, until he’d had to bum a ride or pay for a cab and got home to find Monica faking sleep, faking because she never slept that quiet, those mornings, she’d only put her own cup of coffee in the microwave. Never his.”

Instead of characters knowing anything, you must now present the details that allow the reader to know them. Instead of a character wanting something, you must now describe the thing so that the reader wants it. Instead of saying: “Adam knew Gwen liked him.”

You’ll have to say: “Between classes, Gwen was always leaned on his locker when he’d go to open it. She’d roll her eyes and shove off with one foot, leaving a black-heel mark on the painted metal, but she also left the smell of her perfume. The combination lock would still be warm from her ass. And the next break, Gwen would be leaned there, again.”

In short, no more short-cuts. Only specific sensory detail: action, smell, taste, sound, and feeling."

 

[mrh125]

Posting a reply from Reddit that I feel most would I agree to:

"Stories. Pick a few very specific incidents that showcase some of your best characteristics and your motivation, write about them in a few succinct paragraphs and expand from there. Your words will be generic almost always, but your anecdotes are what will make you unique."

So basically telling stories that draw them in? Don't just list qualities. What about a thesis? How would a good thesis in a personal statement be developed? Lots of people start with quotes and experiences of seeing patients die. It's hard for me to go with something similar even if it happened to me because I find it hard from a unique angle. If I start with something that says my experiences drew me to medicine and just list them that's another tactic everyone does. Figuring this out and writing a masterpiece harder than the mcat for me.

 

[Boolean]

So basically telling stories that draw them in? Don't just list qualities. What about a thesis? How would a good thesis in a personal statement be developed? Lots of people start with quotes and experiences of seeing patients die. It's hard for me to go with something similar even if it happened to me because I find it hard from a unique angle. If I start with something that says my experiences drew me to medicine and just list them that's another tactic everyone does. Figuring this out and writing a masterpiece harder than the mcat for me.

There's a reason why everyone says their experiences drew them to medicine and then speak about their experiences, because that's like 80% of the PS. You're answering the question of why you wish to pursue a career in medicine.

 

[Oso]

So basically telling stories that draw them in? Don't just list qualities. What about a thesis? How would a good thesis in a personal statement be developed? Lots of people start with quotes and experiences of seeing patients die. It's hard for me to go with something similar even if it happened to me because I find it hard from a unique angle. If I start with something that says my experiences drew me to medicine and just list them that's another tactic everyone does. Figuring this out and writing a masterpiece harder than the mcat for me.

You don't have to write a masterpiece to have a successful application, and I bet most applicants' essays are 'good enough' and not exceptional. Yes, your personal statement will probably be a lot like the other ones schools receive, but that's ok. Spend time on it, yes, but it doesn't have to be amazing (although that obviously would be cool).

Anyways, show, don't just tell. You show by linking things you say to things you've done or experienced. 'I want to work with underserved populations and help reduce health disparities.' Cool, but do you have the experiences to back this claim up? Because a lot of people are going to say things like this. A lot. You have to show that you mean it, by discussing, for example, a short anecdote about the underserved clinic you volunteered at, what your reflections were, and how this further contributes to your overall desire to pursue medicine. Anyone can say anything, but you have to show that you mean it through your experiences and reflections. Don't just say that you're compassionate and thoughtful, but discuss a specific clinical scenario that showcases these qualities. Don't just say you think medicine is the field for you, but talk about an experience that shows how medicine is a great fit.

 

[mrh125]

You don't have to write a masterpiece to have a successful application, and I bet most applicants' essays are 'good enough' and not exceptional. Yes, your personal statement will probably be a lot like the other ones schools receive, but that's ok. Spend time on it, yes, but it doesn't have to be amazing (although that obviously would be cool).

Anyways, show, don't just tell. You show by linking things you say to things you've done or experienced. 'I want to work with underserved populations and help reduce health disparities.' Cool, but do you have the experiences to back this claim up? Because a lot of people are going to say things like this. A lot. You have to show that you mean it, by discussing, for example, a short anecdote about the underserved clinic you volunteered at, what your reflections were, and how this further contributes to your overall desire to pursue medicine. Anyone can say anything, but you have to show that you mean it through your experiences and reflections. Don't just say that you're compassionate and thoughtful, but discuss a specific clinical scenario that showcases these qualities. Don't just say you think medicine is the field for you, but talk about an experience that shows how medicine is a great fit.

got it. thanks 🙂.

 

[ThisCouldBeYou]

Don't summarize; let the reader do that. That is, don't write something like, "I'm compassionate." Share an anecdote of that quality instead.

 

[mrh125]

Don't summarize; let the reader do that. That is, don't write something like, "I'm compassionate." Share an anecdote of that quality instead.

should I make the whole thing a bunch of cohesive stories? I managed to make my first paragraph an anecdote about translating for an under-represented person, but not the whole thing.

 

[ThisCouldBeYou]

should I make the whole thing a bunch of cohesive stories? I managed to make my first paragraph an anecdote about translating for an under-represented person, but not the whole thing.

Send it to me in a PM and I'll help you edit.