How important is similar level of education in your partner and experiences?

[Mad Jack]

I don't have the statistics but my gut feeling is the closer the educational level is between husband and wife that may correlate to a better marriage overall?

I am asking because i have spent my whole life only dating doctors, lawyers, dentists, and 1 IT person and recently started dating someone with only a bachelors degree with hopes of getting a masters. There are several variables to dating of course I know; but in this day and age my gut says it is super important more than ever before?

Again, I don't mean to offend anyone who's partners have significantly less education then them, of course it can work very well, i am just asking from your guy/gals experiences of your overall experiences in this day and age.

I think if you are a guy it is less important than if you are a woman, as the insecurity component on the part of men with lesser accomplishments can be relationship destroying. I tend to date people with bachelor's degrees but I've dated those with no degree and a couple of professionals, doesn't seem to make a difference tbph

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[tr]

I’ve actually noticed this as well with my high-achieving female friends... not dating low achievers necessarily, but people not at their level.

I’ve always wondered if high-achieving women face:
1) a problem finding someone at their level who isn’t already taken, a narcissist, or someone who wants to slow them down.

2) simply don’t consider achievement (degrees, money, prestige etc...) when they get into relationships because it would severely narrow their options.

I seriously think these blanket categorizations are hard to apply to people in the real world.

I have an MD/PhD. My husband has a master's. Am I the high achiever or is he the high achiever?
I work at a fancy university. He works at a fancy tech company. Am I the high achiever or is he the high achiever?
He makes more money than I do. Am I the high achiever or is he the high achiever?
He has a more flexible schedule than I do so tends to carry more last-minute issues like sick child. Am I the caregiver parent or is he the caregiver parent?
I am more able to predict/decide my schedule in advance so I do all the dr/dentist/orthodontist appointments, etc. Am I the caregiver parent or is he the caregiver parent?
I worked part-time for several years when kids were babies/toddlers. Am I the caregiver parent or is he the caregiver parent?

Hmm...

 

[Horners]

I seriously think these blanket categorizations are hard to apply to people in the real world.

I have an MD/PhD. My husband has a master's. Am I the high achiever or is he the high achiever?
I work at a fancy university. He works at a fancy tech company. Am I the high achiever or is he the high achiever?
He makes more money than I do. Am I the high achiever or is he the high achiever?
He has a more flexible schedule than I do so tends to carry more last-minute issues like sick child. Am I the caregiver parent or is he the caregiver parent?
I am more able to predict/decide my schedule in advance so I do all the dr/dentist/orthodontist appointments, etc. Am I the caregiver parent or is he the caregiver parent?
I worked part-time for several years when kids were babies/toddlers. Am I the caregiver parent or is he the caregiver parent?

Hmm...

That is a very good point. It is hard to narrow down those definitions in a way that makes them applicable.

I suppose when I think of “achievement” I think of:
- Earnings
- Education level
- Position (CEO, director vs cashier)

So in your case, it seems to be like a 50/50 thing, he makes more money, but you have more education.

I was really just making an observation about some of my female friends who are going into surgery, are corporate lawyers etc... they seem to date guys who are not more educated than them, will not make more money than them or hold high positions.

Maybe it’s because these women don’t desire financial security from a spouse because they have it themselves?

I suppose it’s through a socially constructed lens that I imagine women want to date/marry “higher achievers.” But I really can’t shake the feeling that women desire financial security in their spouses more than men do. This maybe was true in the past, but I think as women have become more free over time, have broken several ceilings in different industries, this idea that a woman should be expected to look for financial security in a man is dying.

But honestly idk lol at the end of the day there is no “way it should be.” Everyone should be free to live how they want.


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[lyla]

My wife has a bachelors — though we’ve been together since we were in high school (before I became a doctor and all) so it’s not as if we started dating after I got my DO and she had her BS.


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[tr]

Maybe it’s because these women don’t desire financial security from a spouse because they have it themselves?

I suppose it’s through a socially constructed lens that I imagine women want to date/marry “higher achievers.” But I really can’t shake the feeling that women desire financial security in their spouses more than men do. This maybe was true in the past, but I think as women have become more free over time, have broken several ceilings in different industries, this idea that a woman should be expected to look for financial security in a man is dying.

I mean, sure, when women were barred from economic independence and were basically under conditions of economically enforced domestic servitude to their husbands, then yeah, spousal financial security was a big deal.
When women are able to pursue economic independence, financial security takes on much less importance as a criterion in mate selection.
That seems.... logical?

 

[Crayola227]

I don't know why it hasn't occurred to someone, that maybe when for one partner (say, the woman) money is no object because they make enough to support an entire family on their salary alone, or has a certain amount of standing or prestige (if that actually mattered) then that is no longer that relevant in deciding who to be with.

It doesn't have to do with notions like "she has to settle" or blah blah blah.

I always joked that by going into medicine, I could "buy" myself a husband (please, this is completely facetious), in that I could then have any one I wanted that wanted me, money aside. I could get with a musician or painter or other starving artist type and it wouldn't matter. The kids could still have piano lessons, I could support them being professional pianists when they grew up if that was what they wanted. Everyone could afford to follow their passions. I was lucky mine can make the sort of living to facilitate this sort of thing.

Also there is the path of least resistance. It is difficult to have to career-types in a household, and some people just find in their coupledom they enjoy only having to work around one person's career.

ETA: lol, I was ninja'd, already wrote this and posted before refreshing

 

[PsyDr]

I’ve actually noticed this as well with my high-achieving female friends... not dating low achievers necessarily, but people not at their level.

I’ve always wondered if high-achieving women face:
1) a problem finding someone at their level who isn’t already taken, a narcissist, or someone who wants to slow them down.

2) simply don’t consider achievement (degrees, money, prestige etc...) when they get into relationships because it would severely narrow their options.

There's some literature indicating that women prefer height over income, which kinda makes sense from an evolution perspective.

 

[OldPsychDoc]

There's some literature indicating that women prefer height over income, which kinda makes sense from an evolution perspective.

So...size matters?

 

[Horners]

I mean, sure, when women were barred from economic independence and were basically under conditions of economically enforced domestic servitude to their husbands, then yeah, spousal financial security was a big deal.
When women are able to pursue economic independence, financial security takes on much less importance as a criterion in mate selection.
That seems.... logical?

Thank you for summing up my very convoluted thought process very nicely... I really felt like I was just talking to myself LOL






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[PsyDr]

So...size matters?

I know you're joking, but....

That should go in the lying thread. I've been to the Reykjavik penis museum, know what Ron Jeremy claims (even met him once), and am still holding a grudge with the urology department from where I did a lot of grad school. So........

Prause, N., et al. (2015). "Women's Preferences for Penis Size: A New Research Method Using Selection among 3D Models." PLOS ONE 10(9): e0133079.

Mautz, B. S., et al. (2013). "Penis size interacts with body shape and height to influence male attractiveness." Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 110(17): 6925-6930.

Veale, D., et al. (2015). "Am I normal? A systematic review and construction of nomograms for flaccid and erect penis length and circumference in up to 15 521 men." BJU International 115(6): 978-986.

Long story short: most guys are average. Most women say they prefer very slightly above average. How in shape you are buys you some leeway.

 

[tr]

There's some literature indicating that women prefer height over income, which kinda makes sense from an evolution perspective.

Evolution has graciously endowed us with, not rigid static preferences, but large and complex brains capable of flexibly adjusting our choices and behaviors depending on the environmental factors at play.

 

[Sardonix]

I know you're joking, but....

That should go in the lying thread. I've been to the Reykjavik penis museum, know what Ron Jeremy claims (even met him once), and am still holding a grudge with the urology department from where I did a lot of grad school. So........

Prause, N., et al. (2015). "Women's Preferences for Penis Size: A New Research Method Using Selection among 3D Models." PLOS ONE 10(9): e0133079.

Mautz, B. S., et al. (2013). "Penis size interacts with body shape and height to influence male attractiveness." Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 110(17): 6925-6930.

Veale, D., et al. (2015). "Am I normal? A systematic review and construction of nomograms for flaccid and erect penis length and circumference in up to 15 521 men." BJU International 115(6): 978-986.

Long story short: most guys are average. Most women say they prefer very slightly above average. How in shape you are buys you some leeway.

I learn the most interesting things on this forum.

 

[st2205]

I know you're joking, but....

That should go in the lying thread. I've been to the Reykjavik penis museum, know what Ron Jeremy claims (even met him once), and am still holding a grudge with the urology department from where I did a lot of grad school. So........

Prause, N., et al. (2015). "Women's Preferences for Penis Size: A New Research Method Using Selection among 3D Models." PLOS ONE 10(9): e0133079.

Mautz, B. S., et al. (2013). "Penis size interacts with body shape and height to influence male attractiveness." Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 110(17): 6925-6930.

Veale, D., et al. (2015). "Am I normal? A systematic review and construction of nomograms for flaccid and erect penis length and circumference in up to 15 521 men." BJU International 115(6): 978-986.

Long story short: most guys are average. Most women say they prefer very slightly above average. How in shape you are buys you some leeway.

What do grant proposals look like for these studies?

 

[PsyDr]

What do grant proposals look like for these studies?

I'd pay to see this grant application.

Miller, G., Tybur, J. M., & Jordan, B. D. (2007). Ovulatory cycle effects on tip earnings by lap dancers: economic evidence for human estrus?☆. Evolution and Human Behavior, 28(6), 375-381.

 

[Jules A]

There's some literature indicating that women prefer height over income, which kinda makes sense from an evolution perspective.

I can get behind the somewhat larger than average penis size preference and blame it on an evolution perspective lol but this is very unfortunate if still true among educated females.

 

[st2205]

I can get behind the somewhat larger than average penis size preference and blame it on an evolution perspective lol but this is very unfortunate if still true among educated females.

Oh, so now those with smaller-than-average penis sizes are being discriminated against. Another micro aggression (no pun intended). We need an anti-Viagra, like intracavernosal epi injections that take a couple inches off to make things more fair.

#equity

 

[tr]

Love the way the guys on the thread managed to turn a question about educational compatibility into a discussion of penis size...

 

[OldPsychDoc]

Love the way the guys on the thread managed to turn a question about educational compatibility into a discussion of penis size...

Welcome to Psychiatry.

 

[st2205]

Love the way the guys on the thread managed to turn a question about educational compatibility into a discussion of penis size...

Who has said anything about their gender?