How Much Eye Contact Is Too Much Eye Contact?

[Rafa]

How much eye contact do you use when speaking to someone? How much does it take to freak you out? How much should you use on an adcom (that you aren't trying to seduce)?

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[Benoit]

You don't have reasonable social skills to figure this out?

 

[Rafa]

You don't have reasonable social skills to figure this out?

This isn't an "I don't know and I need" help question. It's more of a poll.

 

[somemaybedoc]

Go with natural, but if you want guidance. I've noticed that people maintain their gaze when they are listening and tend to be a little less fixated when they are speaking.

Also I think the quality of the eye contact matters. Try to be relaxed and natural, not self consciously trying to "laser" you interviewers skull.

 

[spicedmanna]

...When you feel like you are getting into a staring contest, or when you think, "your Jedi mind tricks won't work on me!"

😀

 

[hlchess]

I often have trouble maintaining eye contact when talking to people, so I always try to look them in they eye as much as possible. I think too much eye contact is better than too little eye contact, which shows that you're not interested or bored.

 

[Law2Doc]

not self consciously trying to "laser" you interviewers skull.

Agree -- if they burst into flames, that was too much. Short of that, no amount is a bad thing. Try and have eye contact most, if not all, of the time. Avoid looking away, looking at your feet, looking below the interviewers neck etc.

 

[dutchman]

i hate eye contact. It always seems like a pre-lude to "making out". But i guess if u want to look honest u have to maintain eye contact.

 

[Robizzle]

when they ask a question, i maintain eye contact to let them know i'm listening, then i think and look down for a few seconsd, then when i have my answer i look back up as i explain.

 

[alwaysaangel]

How much eye contact do you use when speaking to someone? How much does it take to freak you out? How much should you use on an adcom (that you aren't trying to seduce)?

I don't know - I seduce all of my interviewers - its the only way I can get into medical school.

 

[kypdurron5]

This question is a little neurotic...but I understand your concern. I find that it's much easier to look at an interviewer if they're not trying to constantly make eye contact with you. That's just weird...but it's certainly something they could use to purposefully try and make you uncomfortable. Given this situation I would try to make as much eye contact as possible while giving an explanation, but I generally look to the side and stare into "nothingness" while I'm compiling an answer or taking a few seconds to collect my thoughts. The same holds true for listening...you should make eye contact while they are talking, but if all you're doing is nodding and looking into their eyes, it doesn't show that you're actually THINKING about what they're saying, just listening. Thus I still try to balance looking away and appearing thoughtful, and making eye contact and nodding while throwing in a few agreements like "absolutely," and "I completely agree."

 

[deleted106503]

Make sure you blink.

 

[TPROrgoTutor]

When speaking with someone it is proper to maintain eye contact whenever either party is speaking. The only time my gaze drifts is if I am asked a question that takes a bit of though, in which case I take a moment. Gives both parties a break from the staring contest.

 

[alwaysaangel]

Wow I hadn't actually read the thread before - people actually have answers?!?!

I couldn't tell you what I do if I tried - I've never paid any attention.

 

[kypdurron5]

Wow I hadn't actually read the thread before - people actually have answers?!?!

I couldn't tell you what I do if I tried - I've never paid any attention.

Geeks trying to break into society...it's never easy. We have to think about these things. Jedi mind tricks don't work...trust me, I've tried 😉.

 

[Law2Doc]

Jedi mind tricks don't work...trust me, I've tried 😉.

I suspect the interviewer looked at you quite oddly when you told him that these weren't the droids he was looking for.🙂

 

[Rafa]

I suspect the interviewer looked at you quite oddly when you told him that these weren't the droids he was looking for.🙂

 

[alwaysaangel]

Geeks trying to break into society...it's never easy. We have to think about these things. Jedi mind tricks don't work...trust me, I've tried 😉.

But its a conversation! You guys don't make eye contact with people you encounter day to day? Why would you have to put anymore thought into an interview than real life?

 

[Dr. Gun-ner]

How much eye contact do you use when speaking to someone? How much does it take to freak you out? How much should you use on an adcom (that you aren't trying to seduce)?

if your applying to california schools then: try to stare him down so that he feels threatened and a little scared. that way he will know you mean buisness and that you want to go to that school!

if your applying to other states then: when he is talking make eye-contact the whole time---indicates interest in what he has to say. when you are talking dont worry about the eye-contact.😴

 

[spicedmanna]

But its a conversation! You guys don't make eye contact with people you encounter day to day? Why would you have to put anymore thought into an interview than real life?

You wouldn't necessary need any more thought during an interview than during a real purposeful and engaging conversation, but because people tend to become particularly scared (read: freaked out) during the process, they sometimes forget important things. People, when really scared, tend to freeze, fight, faint, or flee. Avoiding eye contact is one way people faint or flee from the situation.

Fear and dashingly fluid charm don't often mix. That's why during any interview, the most important thing, I think, is to breathe, slow down to your authentic pace, and be relaxed, but engaged. The rest will come. But baring that, lots of practice in the little things tend to help.

 

[Dr. Gun-ner]

You wouldn't necessary need any more thought during an interview than during a real purposeful and engaging conversation, but because people tend to become particularly scared (read: freaked out) during the process, they sometimes forget important things. People, when really scared, tend to freeze, fight, faint, or flee. Avoiding eye contact is one way people faint or flee from the situation.

Fear and dashing fluidity don't often mix. That's why during any interview, the most important thing, I think, is to breathe and be as relaxed and fluid as possible. The rest will come. But baring that, lots of practice in the little things tend to help.

interesting. so you think anyone has fainted in an interview before? and if they did do you think they were offerde admission, i mean otherwise they could sue right?

 

[spicedmanna]

interesting. so you think anyone has fainted in an interview before? and if they did do you think they were offerde admission, i mean otherwise they could sue right?

Right. Actually there are lot of degrees to the 4F's. It isn't necessary for someone to keel over to faint, or actually run away to flee. One can avert their eyes slowly away, stare down, etc; or it is also possible to lose a sense of what is going on all of a sudden, such as the "Huh??" response. You get the point.

But that's a funny image though.

 

[Dr. Gun-ner]

Right. Actually there are lot of degrees to the 4F's. It isn't necessary for someone to keel over to faint, or actually run away to flee. One can avert their eyes slowly away, stare down, etc; or it is also possible to lose a sense of what is going on all of a sudden, such as the "Huh??" response. You get the point.

But that's a funny image though.

you sound like you have a psychology/sociology background. am i right?

 

[spicedmanna]

you sound like you have a psychology/sociology background. am i right?

Yes, that's accurate.

 

[Dr. Gun-ner]

Yes, that's accurate.

awesome. now i can add another xtracurricular to my amcas....PSYCHIC!😴

 

[MirrorTodd]

I thought this thread was about sex. The Todd is dissappointed.

 

[FutrNEUROsurgn]

I thought this thread was about sex. The Todd is dissappointed.

Are you serious? Just, stop, and ask yourself "those sdners +sex = YEAH RIGHT!"

 

[kypdurron5]

But its a conversation! You guys don't make eye contact with people you encounter day to day? Why would you have to put anymore thought into an interview than real life?

Exactly the point...true geeks don't encounter people in their everyday lives...nor do they have "real lives." If you take away these two assumptions you see where some people are coming from >).

On a more serious note I agree with Spicedmanna. Everyday conversations are one thing, but once you throw in the fact that your future is riding on the conversation you then begin to experience anxiety, fear, and even perhaps a social impotence. These things naturally affect your willingness to make eye contact, and the uneasiness of the situation makes the exchange much more awkward than an everyday conversation about the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica. I think everyone would agree that the best way to approach an interview is to be completely at ease, but for the most part that's impossible. We know exactly how to act among our piers, but how often do we have a conversation with a very intelligent, accomplished doctor who holds your very future in his/her hands?

 

[alwaysaangel]

Exactly the point...true geeks don't encounter people in their everyday lives...nor do they have "real lives." If you take away these two assumptions you see where some people are coming from >).

On a more serious note I agree with Spicedmanna. Everyday conversations are one thing, but once you throw in the fact that your future is riding on the conversation you then begin to experience anxiety, fear, and even perhaps a social impotence. These things naturally affect your willingness to make eye contact, and the uneasiness of the situation makes the exchange much more awkward than an everyday conversation about the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica. I think everyone would agree that the best way to approach an interview is to be completely at ease, but for the most part that's impossible. We know exactly how to act among our piers, but how often do we have a conversation with a very intelligent, accomplished doctor who holds your very future in his/her hands?

I guess I get your point.

Thank God I'm naive and oblivious to the point that it never occurs to me to be intimidated by someone important or well accomplished!! 😀

 

[kypdurron5]

I guess I get your point.

Thank God I'm naive and oblivious to the point that it never occurs to me to be intimidated by someone important or well accomplished!! 😀

<------king of being intimidated. That's why I haven't dated in 4 years >).

 

[FloridaMD]

Just be yourself, you can't change yourself just for an interview and if you are following someones instruction about making so many seconds of eye contact it will make you look fake and you won't be concentrating on conversation rather than your acking skills or lack of it.

 

[kypdurron5]

...you can't change yourself just for an interview...

I disagree...you absolutely can change yourself for a 20-60 minute interview. The only thing they know about you is what you present to them during this time. This includes both what you say, how you say it, and everything else you do. I've even heard of schools seeding applicants with current med students to further examine you during the interview day. The snippet of yourself that you present is of utmost importance, and while eye contact is rather nit-picky, I still think it's good that people are analyzing all aspects of their behavior. We can also add in firm handshakes, eye contact on handshakes, opening doors for the women, waiting for the women to go through each doorway first, etc. Some of these things may seem chauvinistic, but the truth is that it's just rude not to, or to be oblivious of the situation. Voice is another important factor....regardless of how nervous you might be, it's important to project confidence and to be verbally outgoing, even if you're usually just a wallflower. I'm not saying that everyone has to fit one particular mould, but you do want to be remembered for your positive qualities...not your inability to make eye contact or the Northface jacket you were wearing over-top your suit (as suggested in the "What Not to Wear" clothing thread).

 

[drsax]

Just make sure to blink with all that eye contact....I was so nervous that I felt like I was almost staring alittle. My eyes started to feel dry and I realized that I hadn't been blinking really. 😉 As long as you don't look like a deer in the headlights in the interview you'll be fine.

 

[Rafa]

Just noting again: this thread wasn't a "tell me what to do because I have an interview coming up", though you're free to interpret it that way as well. I was simply curious as to other people's attitudes about EC after reading a few articles about it on wikipedia late last night. As in, anecdotes with situations where people would barely look at you vs. situations where you thought someone was either about to hack you to pieces or whip out the engagement ring. Somehow, it turned into a thread of...well, that's SDN. FWIW, I'm not even applying this season. 🙂

 

[Jccripe]

i think i tend to watch peoples mouth when they talk and occasionally glancing at their mouth. When i talk i am animated and try to focus on who i am speaking to with strong eye contact.

 

[kypdurron5]

i think i tend to watch peoples mouth when they talk and occasionally glancing at their mouth.

Ok, now if that's not seduction I don't know what is..... Looking at someone's lips is the perfect way to tell them you want to kiss them.