how personal is too personal?

[bashir]

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I really didn't want to post about this, but I really need some guidance and my search terms were getting me nowhere. I've got secondary essays asking me about attributes or obstacles I've overcome that make me diverse, and how this would contribute to the entering class. I'm a white girl from a middle class background, so all I can think to write about is family problems growing up. In brief: Dad and brother had severe bi-polar disorder; brother also had major drug problems; mom abandoned my little sister and me when I was 16; looked after my other little sister when my dad died last year since she was only 16. I mentioned some of these circumstance in my personal statement but tried not to focus too much on them. Do I give them the sob story? Is that what they're asking for? I don't really see how any of this would contribute to the incoming class, so I'm hesitant to try to make that argument when I don't fully believe it myself, but again, I don't know what else I would write about. I'm also concerned about crossing the line between telling my story and airing dirty laundry. Any thoughts?

 

[Isoprop]

This is what I would do.

Try to stay positive about it. Don't reveal all the details. Just tell them what were the obstacles, and how were you able to overcome it.

e.g. After the death of my father last year, I had to look after my sixteen year old sister. At first, the responsibility was overwhelming, but I was able to do x and y and z. The relationship between my sister and me strengthened and blah blah blah about your maturity.

 

[bashir]

"and blah blah blah about your maturity." Good advice. Also hilarious.

 

[the duck]

This is what I would do.

Try to stay positive about it. Don't reveal all the details. Just tell them what were the obstacles, and how were you able to overcome it.

e.g. After the death of my father last year, I had to look after my sixteen year old sister. At first, the responsibility was overwhelming, but I was able to do x and y and z. The relationship between my sister and me strengthened and blah blah blah about your maturity.

It's a hard one for two reasons:
1. as you obviously say yourself, you don't want to come off as asking for pity too much.
2. The other thing, is there is sadly a stigma when it comes to mental health, and it seems clear you have a probably genetic disposition to it, which may unfortunately raise red flags for the adcoms.

How are your grades/ECs? Are you needing an excuse for less than optimal performance in undergrad?

 

[georgearms]

It's a hard one for two reasons:
1. as you obviously say yourself, you don't want to come off as asking for pity too much.
2. The other thing, is there is sadly a stigma when it comes to mental health, and it seems clear you have a probably genetic disposition to it, which may unfortunately raise red flags for the adcoms.

How are your grades/ECs? Are you needing an excuse for less than optimal performance in undergrad?

I would be really surprised if any adcom member thinks that an applicant's family history of bipolar disorder is a red flag, if the applicant himself does not have bipolar disorder.

 

[wristbandMD]

It's a hard one for two reasons:
1. as you obviously say yourself, you don't want to come off as asking for pity too much.
2. The other thing, is there is sadly a stigma when it comes to mental health, and it seems clear you have a probably genetic disposition to it, which may unfortunately raise red flags for the adcoms.

How are your grades/ECs? Are you needing an excuse for less than optimal performance in undergrad?

Unfortunately, this is true. I wouldn't mention the bipolar disorder, if I were you.

The main point of the hardship essay is to write about how you overcame the hardship. Spend a short time on the actual problem and have the majority of the essay discuss what came of the hardship. What did you learn, where has it taken you, how has it shaped you, etc.

 

[AName]

I really didn't want to post about this, but I really need some guidance and my search terms were getting me nowhere. I've got secondary essays asking me about attributes or obstacles I've overcome that make me diverse, and how this would contribute to the entering class. I'm a white girl from a middle class background, so all I can think to write about is family problems growing up. In brief: Dad and brother had severe bi-polar disorder; brother also had major drug problems; mom abandoned my little sister and me when I was 16; looked after my other little sister when my dad died last year since she was only 16. I mentioned some of these circumstance in my personal statement but tried not to focus too much on them. Do I give them the sob story? Is that what they're asking for? I don't really see how any of this would contribute to the incoming class, so I'm hesitant to try to make that argument when I don't fully believe it myself, but again, I don't know what else I would write about. I'm also concerned about crossing the line between telling my story and airing dirty laundry. Any thoughts?

I don't think there's anything wrong with sharing what you've lived through ONLY if you can explain WHY it would make you a better doctor. For example, in my essays I spoke about my father who is bipolar and struggled with alcoholism and as a result became abusive. Long story short - i went through a custody and child abuse battle in the courts.

I firmly believe that these experiences helped me understand a few things:
1. forgiveness
2. the ability to differentiate between a person and their disease
3. helped me become passionate about connecting people with proper medical care -- if my father had had access to medical care, I'm confident his diseases would not have gotten out of hand.

Also, life experiences shape us! So don't be shy. Just be tactful. Don't give every detail, just explain what happened (briefly) and then go into why it'll make you a better doctor. I have to believe that medical schools want a diverse group of students that have lived through many different life experiences because future patients will come from all walks of life (e.g. "I will be able to relate to future patients that have dealt with mental illnesses... etc...)

Sorry for the lecture! I just struggled with this type of a question for a while.

Feel free to PM if you want me to proof-read any essays/need anything else!

and good luck!

 

[wristbandMD]

I don't think there's anything wrong with sharing what you've lived through ONLY if you can explain WHY it would make you a better doctor. For example, in my essays I spoke about my father who is bipolar and struggled with alcoholism and as a result became abusive. Long story short - i went through a custody and child abuse battle in the courts.

I firmly believe that these experiences helped me understand a few things:
1. forgiveness
2. the ability to differentiate between a person and their disease
3. helped me become passionate about connecting people with proper medical care -- if my father had had access to medical care, I'm confident his diseases would not have gotten out of hand.

Also, life experiences shape us! So don't be shy. Just be tactful. Don't give every detail, just explain what happened (briefly) and then go into why it'll make you a better doctor. I have to believe that medical schools want a diverse group of students that have lived through many different life experiences because future patients will come from all walks of life (e.g. "I will be able to relate to future patients that have dealt with mental illnesses... etc...)

Sorry for the lecture! I just struggled with this type of a question for a while.

Feel free to PM if you want me to proof-read any essays/need anything else!

and good luck!

I had thought this as well, but when I asked LizzyM she said to steer away from topics of abuse, genetic personality disorders, and the like.

Unfortunately, there are stigmas attached to these subjects. Many people think that people who are abused are likely to be abused and that if a personality disorder (such as bipolar disorder) is present in a family member, the applicant could very well have it as well or could develop it, etc etc. These stigmas may not be true, but they are still there. I would avoid giving the Adcom anything that could make them question your state of mind.

 

[plzNOCarribbean]

no, no, no, and adcom will not view it as a red flag if the OP is genetically pre-disposed to bipolar disorder. OP, you are obviously a strong enough candidate to have made it through your entire undergrad with some SERIOUS hardships. You have overcome many obstacles and if you have psychiatric issues, they have obviously done you NO harm. This is an attribute and this is what adcoms want to see. It shows maturity, perseverance, and most importantly, that if hardships occur during medical school, they you will be able to overcome them since you have obviously proven that you can.

I am not making this up. the dean of admissions at the university hospital affiliated with our undergrad institution told me this when i raised concerns about people very close to me developing drug problems and going to rehab. He said, you didn't do it, and you have overcome this and steered forward, which shows your dedicated and focused. What other people do has no bearing on YOUR app. and in your case, since you've overcome bad hardship, put it down and talk about it without making it seem like you are "asking for pitty" as you put it.

 

[Helen Wheels]

Many people think that people who are abused are likely to be abused and that if a personality disorder (such as bipolar disorder) is present in a family member, the applicant could very well have it as well or could develop it, etc etc. These stigmas may not be true, but they are still there. I would avoid giving the Adcom anything that could make them question your state of mind.

Just an FYI: Actually, Bipolar Disorder is a mood disorder, not a personality disorder. Mood and personality disorders are very different things. That being said, Bipolar Disorder is definitely a very genetically loaded disorder meaning that having parents with it would definitely increase your chances of having it. It isn't certain you would have it, of course, because of how genes work. 🙂 Also, as an aside, the average age of onset is around 21-25 and some experts would argue it is in the teens. So, OP, if you haven't had mood problems and you are 25 or so you have likely dodged that genetic bullet.

I am not an adcom, but I kind of doubt that they would reject you because you might have the genes for a mood disorder. If you wrote about a parent with cancer I don't think they would think, "Oh well, this person might develop cancer during med school so we shouldn't admit them." I realize mental health issues are a totally different ballgame with more stigma. I never advise people to write about their own mental health issues. But I think writing about a parent's mental health issues is okay, if handled delicately.

Just my opinion, as I said I'm not an adcom. I have worked in Bipolar Disorder research for the past nine years.

 

[Isoprop]

You don't need to mention the mental disorders in the essay. It's fine to say, "when my father died, I had more responsibilities..." and leave it at that. Nothing about the other family members problems need to come up. Focus more on the obstacles and how you overcame it: what it was like to have to take care of a younger sibling, what you learned from it, and how it shaped your outlook into life.

Leave the other part of the baggage out of it.

 

[the duck]

I would be really surprised if any adcom member thinks that an applicant's family history of bipolar disorder is a red flag, if the applicant himself does not have bipolar disorder.

As I said, bipolar disorder is genetic, and the OP is not past the age of onset. Why are we assuming the OP is 25? He/she could easily be 21 or 22.

 

[bashir]

Just to satisfy people's curiosity, I'm 25. Also, I read that your chances of developing bipolar disorder are 20% if one of your parents suffers from it. There are five of us kids in my family, and like I said, my brother has it, so I'm safe. That's how statistics works, right?

All kidding aside, I really like the advice to focus on how I "overcame" the circumstances, rather than the circumstances themselves. It's a subtle distinction, but I think having that goal in mind as I write will help. Thanks for your thoughts everybody.

 

[rhesuspieces]

There are five of us kids in my family, and like I said, my brother has it, so I'm safe. That's how statistics works, right?

I was like

All kidding aside

And then I was like 👍

 

[deuist]

blah blah blah ... lecture on bipolar ...

I am not an adcom, but I kind of doubt that they would reject you because you might have the genes for a mood disorder.

There are enough people in medical school with mental disease that the administration is likely to be weary of taking on more. College students with depression, substance abuse, and anxiety can do a pretty good job of getting through undergrad with brains alone. In med school, however, things are so stressful that those problems get amplified. I've seen my alma mater's administration tell classmates to take a year off or even drop out completely if they started to act out.

 

[Helen Wheels]

There are enough people in medical school with mental disease that the administration is likely to be weary of taking on more. College students with depression, substance abuse, and anxiety can do a pretty good job of getting through undergrad with brains alone. In med school, however, things are so stressful that those problems get amplified. I've seen my alma mater's administration tell classmates to take a year off or even drop out completely if they started to act out.

This may be the case. Personally, I just think it is abhorrent that someone would be discriminated on, not based on any problems they themselves have, but because they might have the genes for a disorder.

 

[gravitywave]

under federal law, it's currently illegal to discriminate against people for employment or health insurance on the basis of their genetic code. that doesn't mean that adcoms couldn't potentially consider it a liability - i wouldn't mention it. what's disturbing about the bias though, is that people are going to be more suspicious about your family Hx of bipolar then they would a family history of alcoholism, which I would consider fair game for secondaries. shame, but that's the way it goes.

obviously don't mention any substance abuse/mental issues of your own unless parts of your file demand it (institutional record/criminal record/DUI)