How to act and leave a good impression?

[hoppingpre]

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[Irish Football]

Background - I don't speak English at home, and never have, so I'm very bad at making casual chitchat with strangers. Thus, I feel very insecure about my ability to connect with people, but I need to form good relationships with my professors/dentist. How stressful...

What do you recommend, and do you have any tips?

Well, I would recommend trying to gain more practice at chatting and making small-talk with strangers. You will only get better by practicing and getting more used to it. There's no other way around it.

 

[Eiot]

Chatroulette.com boom!

 

[Geebeejay]

Well, I would recommend trying to gain more practice at chatting and making small-talk with strangers. You will only get better by practicing and getting more used to it. There's no other way around it.

Yeah, I agree. Go to a bar and try to pick up dudes. No homo or anything, but it's easier to get comfortable chatting with strangers when getting laid isn't involved at all. Find a way to meet members of the sex you are uninterested in, and just try small talk. Maybe start out referencing whatever game is on the TV if you're into sports.

 

[TxResident]

Alcohol.

Edit: wait, you're pre-dent? D: Why don't you ask over thurr? Don't be shy!

 

[Irish Football]

Chatroulette.com boom!

LOL! I have SOOO many jokes I could make right now, but not sure if this is the place for them.

 

[hoppingpre]

Well, I would recommend trying to gain more practice at chatting and making small-talk with strangers. You will only get better by practicing and getting more used to it. There's no other way around it.

So mastering the art of small talk is absolutely recommended?

Chatroulette.com boom!

Chatroulette honestly terrifies me.

Yeah, I agree. Go to a bar and try to pick up dudes. No homo or anything, but it's easier to get comfortable chatting with strangers when getting laid isn't involved at all. Find a way to meet members of the sex you are uninterested in, and just try small talk. Maybe start out referencing whatever game is on the TV if you're into sports.

I'm female. Does this change anything?

 

[Geebeejay]

Chatroulette.com boom!

Makes sense. If she wants to use the picture the interviewer naked technique, she better become comfortable with penises.

I'm female. Does this change anything?

Well I used the term "gender that you're uninterested in", so you could go to a bar and pick up girls. But I think this is different. In my experience men are a lot more creepy than women, so a guy probably has a better chance to make small talk with dudes than go after suspicious girls. On the other hand, guys like it when girls start conversation with them, so it is a bit different I think. I still think a bar is a good place to do this, but I guess you could try it on either gender if you're a girl.

 

[NickNaylor]

So mastering the art of small talk is absolutely recommended?

Yes. If you can make small talk and at least fake enthusiasm in your tone of voice, you'll be fine. You don't have to be the cheerleading captain here. Just be responsive when people talk to you, don't seem unapproachable, and you'll fine.

 

[Irish Football]

I'm female. Does this change anything?

Well you might enjoy chatroulette a bit more then.

 

[ShenanigansMD]

Yeah, I agree. Go to a bar and try to pick up dudes. No homo or anything, but it's easier to get comfortable chatting with strangers when getting laid isn't involved at all. Find a way to meet members of the sex you are uninterested in, and just try small talk. Maybe start out referencing whatever game is on the TV if you're into sports.

Yup, pick up some sports knowledge and just start talking football at the bar. It's really not that hard of a conversation to control since it's so easy.

"Oh man that game last night? Remember that?"
"Aw man Brett Favre... what an idiot!"
"Yeah he shouldn't have [fill in the blank]!"
"But he is really good in those Wrangler jeans commercials."

 

[cheechootrain]

You can practice on inanimate objects at first. Then move to bigger things like moving trains before you start talking to real people.

 

[Irish Football]

Yup, pick up some sports knowledge and just start talking football at the bar. It's really not that hard of a conversation to control since it's so easy.

"Oh man that game last night? Remember that?"
"Aw man Brett Favre... what an idiot!"
"Yeah he shouldn't have [fill in the blank]!"
"But he is really good in those Wrangler jeans commercials."

Actually, most sports fans can pick up real quickly if someone doesn't know a whole lot and isn't really knowledgeable, or even worse, not really interested and in fact faking. I wouldn't advise this.

 

[Eiot]

Chatroulette honestly terrifies me.

There's no need to be afraid. Just look through the nice, honest inhabitants of chatroulette and realize they are there to help YOU!
http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/the-24-best-chat-roulette-screenshots-nsfw

 

[Irish Football]

You can practice on inanimate objects at first. Then move to bigger things like moving trains before you start talking to real people.

 

[Eiot]

Well you might enjoy chatroulette a bit more then.

d-(^_^)Z

 

[Dires]

What are your hobbies? Could you join any clubs (scholastic or communal) in order to force you to meet new people (AKA this would push you out of your comfort zone). The only real way to improve this is with a lot of consistent practice.

 

[ShenanigansMD]

Actually, most sports fans can pick up real quickly if someone doesn't know a whole lot and isn't really knowledgeable, or even worse, not really interested and in fact faking. I wouldn't advise this.

True, you really gotta follow this stuff to carry on a 30 minute coversation. But you can segue into something else, or ask the guy to explain to you what "4th down is" or "Why did Ichiro go to the Yankees."

 

[Irish Football]

Why DID Ichiro go to the Yankees??

EDIT: I forgot, it's because the Yankees don't mind wasting TONS of $$$$.

 

[lobo.solo]

I'm assuming ESL. The key here is to not be afraid of saying something wrong, that's how you learn. Also you don't necessarily have to talk to people that only share your interest although that would make it easier. It's more about being open to learn about something you don't know; it's important to show interest in what others say and then relate to the topic or bring the conversation to something you can speak about. Go out there and talk to random people about random things; get out of your comfort zone. Good luck!

 

[La Presse]

I'm assuming ESL. The key here is to not be afraid of saying something wrong, that's how you learn. Also you don't necessarily have to talk to people that only share your interest although that would make it easier. It's more about being open to learn about something you don't know; it's important to show interest in what others say and then relate to the topic or bring the conversation to something you can speak about. Go out there and talk to random people about random things; get out of your comfort zone. Good luck!

Agreed. There was one time I tried talking to this girl and complimented her on how good she was in photography. She smiled and blushed and then I went further to say they looked like stock photos. Lol...screwed up there. She looked up at me with watery eyes and said these people could not be stalked because they weren't on Facebook. I didn't bother correcting her. 😆 😕

I lol'd for days.

 

[hoppingpre]

There's no need to be afraid. Just look through the nice, honest inhabitants of chatroulette and realize they are there to help YOU!
http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/the-24-best-chat-roulette-screenshots-nsfw

If I ever need practice speaking to people touching themselves inappropriately during the conversation, I'll give it a try

What are your hobbies? Could you join any clubs (scholastic or communal) in order to force you to meet new people (AKA this would push you out of your comfort zone). The only real way to improve this is with a lot of consistent practice.

I'm in 2 clubs (one is cultural, the other is judo), but I'm not very close to anyone in either. I also happen to live in a suite filled with my friends (whom I love talking to/hanging out with). But outside of my suite, the only people who approach me first are self-absorbed/creepy guys who I wish wouldn't talk to me...I wonder if it's my personality 😕

I'm assuming ESL. The key here is to not be afraid of saying something wrong, that's how you learn. Also you don't necessarily have to talk to people that only share your interest although that would make it easier. It's more about being open to learn about something you don't know; it's important to show interest in what others say and then relate to the topic or bring the conversation to something you can speak about. Go out there and talk to random people about random things; get out of your comfort zone. Good luck!

Yes I used to be in ESL, but I'm fluent in English now. But I've grown up in a completely non-American culture - and now that I'm in a primarily Caucasian setting in college, I tend to make a lot of faux pas while interacting with people. It's difficult adjusting.

Thank you for the comments, everyone. Does anyone have a tip for interviews?

 

[sliceofbread136]

I have a friend who hired a pre-op tranny escort and is now dating her/him. Maybe you should try that.

 

[Irish Football]

I have a friend who hired a pre-op tranny escort and is now dating her/him. Maybe you should try that.

This. Definitely this.

 

[ShenanigansMD]

Why DID Ichiro go to the Yankees??

EDIT: I forgot, it's because the Yankees don't mind wasting TONS of $$$$.

Sigh... I miss the Ken Griffey Jr. days.

 

[kpcrew]

Your school probably has a career office that can set up a practice interview for you. Sign up for a session and prepare for it as if it were the real thing. Also, I've heard that it's good to practice by speaking to yourself in front of a mirror.

 

[mimelim]

Your school probably has a career office that can set up a practice interview for you. Sign up for a session and prepare for it as if it were the real thing. Also, I've heard that it's good to practice by speaking to yourself in front of a mirror.

I always found watching myself speak creepy. No idea why.

 

[Silence Dogood]

What is your native language?

In my opinion the best way to talk to people is just to ask them questions. People love to talk about themselves, and the more they talk about themselves the more positively they perceive you (there have been studies). So just ask questions (don't interrogate), then sit back and look interested. Easy peazy, and with a much lower chance of acquiring a stalker than chatroulette.

😛