How to Avoid Cliches in PS?

[jtom]

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Alright so I am finishing up my personal statement. I wrote the paragraph on what type of veterinarian I want to be etc. After reading it I realized that I fit right into a cliche and am not sure if my application will be flagged because of it.

Okay so most of my experience is large animal, I work at a mixed animal clinic in a rural community in the middle of nowhere and our clinic serves 4 counties where there are no other vets that handle large animals. I love being able to help out our clients because I know they dont have anyone else to call for their animals, especially in emergencies.

As you can see, I fit right into the whole large animal veterinarian shortage debate. Even though I can solidly back up my desire to be a LA vet servicing rural communities with vet shortages with my experiences, I am concerned that adcoms will not care and immediately toss my application thinking I am trying to get special attention etc.


I first wrote the paragraph and just said I wanted to be a LA vet but I sincerely love helping farmers in remote areas who desperately need our help and I knew I was selling myself short if I did not include it but then again if it means I am hurting myself then I will go back to the original paragraph.

Any thoughts? Should I do a rewrite?

Thanks!

 

[Bismarck]

This question is probably best addressed by having one of the board regulars read over your personal statement and give you feedback. My inclination is that if you address the shortage of veterinarians, approach it as a lack of rural practitioners rather than a specific type of vet. I remember seeing a statement on here from a professional organization (bovine I think) that questioned the perceived shortage of food animal vets in the industry.

 

[katryn]

I think it also depends on which schools you are applying to, and what their review/interview process is like. I'd contact an admissions counselor at each school to get an opinion. I don't know that it will flag your application in any way other than to make it a point of conversation in an interview. At that point, an honest enthusiasm for and knowledge of LA in a short staffed rural community is going to back up the fact that you aren't just trying to get special treatment.

It also really depends on phrasing. There's a big difference between "hey I love LA and we don't have enough of those, so pick me!", and "I find that being able to supply vet care to an area that might otherwise not get any keeps me going to work everyday." In fact if :

I sincerely love helping farmers in remote areas who desperately need our help

is the focus of that paragraph, I'd consider that a pretty strong selling point on a personal statement. That tells me you don't just love cows, you love cow people too. People skills is becoming a much much larger focus in admissions now.