How to be less timid??

[andrea]

---

Members don't see this ad.

I'm midway through my first rotation, and I asked my attending how I was doing. She said I was doing fine, but that compared to other students she has had, I'm more timid. So now I'm trying to figure out how to be more aggressive! Any advice? I had been afraid that if I jumped in too much, I would get on her nerves or look like a jackass. So what is the appropriate level of aggressiveness for a 3rd year? Thanks.

 

[ears]

I've known some other med students who had a kind of timid nature, and they get kind of a tough break; perhaps unjustly, but medical training rewards those who are more assertive. If you're like others I have known, you probably can't bring yourself to be too aggressive. But go as far as you can. You'll probably be surprised at the positive response you get. Ask! Answer! Do! Jump in! It's fun!

 

[Gene Queen]

I too was quite "timid" when I started clerkship. Although I think the phrase that I got was "need to work on your confidence." However, I think that just comes with time. No one would say I'm lacking in confidence now (underneath I am, but I've learned to hide it, hehe). Honestly I think you will be able to overcome your timidness once you get into the groove of clerkship. I'd say it took me 2 or 3 rotations to get the hang of it.
Basically, you can learn to fake it!

 

[scootad.]

I had the same problem. Medicine was my first clerkship, and when I got back my evaluations comments included "so and so was overshadowed by his more assertive peers, its thus impossible to assess his fund of knowledge." I was very suprised as I knew as much if not more than my peers, but I was not the type to just blabber on about things unless I genuinely had a comment or question of value to say. But I learned from that evaluation that I needed to speak up more and become someone that I was not. I also realized that in 3rd year you are frequently evaluated by people who have met with you at most a few times, and if you are quiet you WILL get shafted.

So for my subsequent rotations I became Mr. Chatterbox, and everytime there were pauses in discussion I chatted away even if what I had to say was not totally relevant to discussions. I did my best to get the first word in before my classmates did, and always made sure I said at least 5 comments in each preceptor session.

The result? My grades went up significantly.

Conclusion? 3rd year is a game. Medicine rewards loud blabbermouths and if you are smart but selective with your words you will lose this game. Become the type of person you hate and you will win!

So you better get yer dose of verbal diarrhea!

 

[andrea]

🙁 **headache** *sigh....*

Thanks for the advice. It's good to know others have been there. I'm going to do my best tomorrow to be a loud mouth and see how it goes. It does help to pretend I'm someone else, I think. Ughhhhhh.

 

[ears]

🙁 **headache** *sigh....*

Thanks for the advice. It's good to know others have been there. I'm going to do my best tomorrow to be a loud mouth and see how it goes. It does help to pretend I'm someone else, I think. Ughhhhhh.

Yes, do give it a try. Look, you don't have to be someone you're not; think of it as putting yourself out there more. You can definitely do it without selling yourself out, or turning into a blathering idiot.

Maybe it'd help you to think this way: as you are now, people think you don't know much, and that you're not really interested. Is that the "real you"? I doubt it. You just have to try to act more like who you really are. (And believe me, I know it's hard.)

Good luck; I bet you can do it without feeling bad about yourself.

 

[Stinger86]

In my experiences, if an attending tells you to be "less timid" or "show more confidence", he/she simply wants to you answer more of their questions, or at least make more attempts.

Sometimes it's difficult. If you know more than your peers, and answer all the questions right off, it can look like you're being a know-it-all. But then again you have to decide which is more important to you: what your attending thinks or what your peers think.

 

[Mumpu]

There is no shame in being wrong as a med student (or even beyond that). I will readily admit if I don't know the answer.

Confidence is not just about answering questions from your attending. It's about taking ownership of what you say. Do not end every sentence with "I think" or "Right?" Stand by your physical exam and history findings (e.g. if you hear a murmur and no one else mentions it, say that you've heard it... if you got a significant bit of history or ROS that was different from what's in the dictation, say it).

 

[MD'05]

Conclusion? 3rd year is a game. Medicine rewards loud blabbermouths and if you are smart but selective with your words you will lose this game. Become the type of person you hate and you will win!

Well said!

Is that original? I just might quote you in my sig 😀

 

[Febrifuge]

...Look, you don't have to be someone you're not; think of it as putting yourself out there more... as you are now, people think you don't know much, and that you're not really interested. Is that the "real you"? I doubt it. You just have to try to act more like who you really are. ...I bet you can do it without feeling bad about yourself.

THAT's the one!

Good advice. Take it from a pre-med who works in an ED and sees students come through all the time. If you're smart and you speak up, it's obvious you're smart. If you're a jerk and you speak up, it's obvious you're a jerk. If you're quiet, it could be because you don't know anything, you're afraid to speak up, you have a sore throat, or your hamster just died. It's impossible to tell. So, give them something to evaluate you by. No one can tell how well-equipped you are if you don't give them any signs.

 

[carpe diem]

Just like to add that being quiet is not the same as the same as being timid. Be yourself. Ask pertinent questions, add pertinent comments, stand by your physical exam/interview/assessments/plans. Welcome corrections to all of the above from your uppers, but not without a good explanation. In other words, show your uppers that you are seeking to think as a physician and want to learn the decision process. Nothing is worse than a resident or attending telling you that you are wrong without giving you an opportunity to learn not to make the same mistake again. And, the thing is, sometimes we end up being right and if they respect you, they'll admit you're right and they're wrong.

Be prepared each day. Follow up on patients that need it. Treat everyone you work with, even the patients!, with respect, and, if you know your stuff, all it will take is for you to make 2 or 3 good catches during the rotation and your true self will show forth.

Ok, I'm using this post as my own self-peptalk also. good luck


Carpe

 

[blackwell]

I had the same thing said to me during my first rotation. But my attending made it clear that he *didn't* mean to be aggressive, but just more enthusiastic. At the time, I was bummed but looking back I really appreciate his feedback because I made an effort to speak up more in my other rotations. Before that, I would get annoyed at other classmates who were over the top, so that pushed me the other way. An area you can work on is presenting patients. I think presentation skills are really important. I think how a student presents his or her patients can really make them stand out. 👍

 

[Ahwell]

I'm glad to see I am not the only one who has dealt with this. I am completing my first clinical rotation and I was told 2 weeks ago that I appeared "slow" in the beginning but "amazinly at the beginning of the second week became an outstanding student". You know what changed? I spoke to a fourth year who told me to be a big blabbermouth. So I came in the next monday running my mouth. By that Friday, I'm was an honors candidate. 🙄 What a load of bull.

Like the person who posted above when I see others running their mouth my instincitve reaction is to shut down. To me I saw it as no big thing it is only Family medicine and at our clinic tends to draw a very healthy pop so what the heck is there to run on about regarding annual physicals in healthy people. Somehow I find some crap to say and I guess I will have to continue.

 

[tupac_don]

I'm midway through my first rotation, and I asked my attending how I was doing. She said I was doing fine, but that compared to other students she has had, I'm more timid. So now I'm trying to figure out how to be more aggressive! Any advice? I had been afraid that if I jumped in too much, I would get on her nerves or look like a jackass. So what is the appropriate level of aggressiveness for a 3rd year? Thanks.

How to be less timid. Well it's tough if you are not naturally outgoing. But you can work on it.

Just be:

1) More proactive, offer to do things
2) Look things up and impress your attending/resident, don't ask them to tell you how to do stuff
3) Try to get support from nurses, pharmacists, nutritionists and other auxillary staff, if they like you and you get in with them, you will be treated better overall and you will be helped
4) Never say you don't know, even if you don't know, attempt an answer, but at the same time don't bull**** if you really don't know (kinda tricky I know, but most of the time they want to see the whole thinking process, rather than the outcome), if you just say I don't know, that's like an eazy way out. However, if you try to rationalize it, or say, I am not sure, but I will find out for you right away and look it up, you will get much more of a positive response.
5) Bottom line, if you are just quiet and are not trying or at least appear to be trying, even if sometimes you might not be busy, act like you are very busy. Because they really don't judge you on your ability, I mean to extent they do, but if you make a bad first impression or couple of mistakes, those things will stick and you will get a less than favorable grade.

good luck

 

[gwyn779]

4) Never say you don't know, even if you don't know, attempt an answer, but at the same time don't bull**** if you really don't know (kinda tricky I know, but most of the time they want to see the whole thinking process, rather than the outcome), if you just say I don't know, that's like an eazy way out. However, if you try to rationalize it, or say, I am not sure, but I will find out for you right away and look it up, you will get much more of a positive response.

I would disagree, except you got it better in your last sentence. If you really don't know an answer say that, but then think out loud about what you do know related to the subject and/or say you'll look it up.


As for being more aggressive/assertive/whatever, that was something I had a really hard time with. I tried being a blabber-mouth, but then instead of getting evals that said I was quiet, I got ones that said I was anxious. I think I came across as anxious because I was trying so hard to be someone I wasn't by talking all the time. I think the best way to talk more is not simply to ramble on about whatever you know, but rather think of intelligent questions to ask. Especially if you can phrase the question by reasoning out something, then asking about more detail or alternatives.

 

[toofache32]

4) Never say you don't know, even if you don't know, attempt an answer, but at the same time don't bull**** if you really don't know (kinda tricky I know, but most of the time they want to see the whole thinking process, rather than the outcome), if you just say I don't know, that's like an eazy way out. However, if you try to rationalize it, or say, I am not sure, but I will find out for you right away and look it up, you will get much more of a positive response.

I never had a problem saying "I don't know." Actually, that became my favorite answer when I realized that was the quickest way to the end of the pimping. Making up answers makes you look like a scared idiot...either way you don't know.

It's better to keep your mouth shut and have them believe you're an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

 

[Leukocyte]

3rd year is a game. Medicine rewards loud blabbermouths and if you are smart but selective with your words you will lose this game. Become the type of person you hate and you will win!

So you better get yer dose of verbal diarrhea!

I agree. Very true. I am an EXTREMELY timid and a VERY sensitive dude who likes harmony, and wants to be at peace with everyone and everyTHING (Yes, I am a tree hugger). On my first rotation, my attending (even my lowly fellow students) told me that I need to be more "aggressive". So I said to myself......."ok". Now that I am almost done with MS-3, I am getting comments such as:

"Take it easy...give other students a chance", "please wait for your turn to answer", and "hey dude, you got your chance...let me have mine".

So did my grades "improve", Yes. Do I like myself this way, No (but it is only temporary) 🙄 When I return home, I am back to my same old self again.