How to build a strong relationship with professors?

[deleted988566]

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Hello,

I don't understand how students build strong bonds with professors. I raise my hand to answer questions posed in class, don't often ask questions because I can't come up with anything nor struggle too much with material. What do I do to put my foot in the door outside of coming to their office hours to awkwardly introduce myself? The only professor I've built a good bond with is one that I succeeded in their coursework and am now TAing for them. Visiting office hours doesn't really help, because I usually am able to resolve any questions through use of the web and textbooks.

What do professors/recommenders even talk about in a letter outside of how well they did in the course and how they went on to assist in teaching underclassmen?

 

[and 99 others]

Instead of using the web and textbooks, use their office hours.

 

[SunMouse]

Definitely depends on the school. At a smaller college this is probably easier, but I went to a giant state university so I will give you my perspective, and maybe it will help a bit.

One way that’s often recommended is to do research with the prof.

Office hours for the basic science classes were often packed, and the professor made it very clear they were a last resort and didn’t want to spend a long time chatting (plus it’s awkward to have meaningful conversations in front of 20 other students but maybe that’s just me).

With that said, it’s often easier in upper-div classes, because they’re generally smaller. Not every professor is the same, and it might take a few classes to find good letter writers. Go to office hours the first week, or right after an exam (best time!). Awkwardly introduce yourself, and stick it out (it gets easier)). Go consistently (like every week - and don’t hesitate to remind them of your name, either). You don’t have to necessarily ask about material if you feel you don’t have questions on it; you can ask about their research, about future classes, about your career plans, about a topic in class you found interesting, etc.

Your school might do “coffee/meal with a prof” type of thing, which could be a more informal setting. I was never brave enough to try this, but in hindsight kinda wish I had...

Hopefully that helps or at least gives you some ideas!

 

[deleted988566]

With that said, it’s often easier in upper-div classes, because they’re generally smaller. Not every professor is the same, and it might take a few classes to find good letter writers. Go to office hours the first week, or right after an exam (best time!). Awkwardly introduce yourself, and stick it out (it gets easier)). Go consistently (like every week - and don’t hesitate to remind them of your name, either). You don’t have to necessarily ask about material if you feel you don’t have questions on it; you can ask about their research, about future classes, about your career plans, about a topic in class you found interesting, etc.

Your school might do “coffee/meal with a prof” type of thing, which could be a more informal setting. I was never brave enough to try this, but in hindsight kinda wish I had...

Hopefully that helps or at least gives you some ideas!

Thank you for the detailed response. We do have the "coffee with a professor" type of event! I did try to casually talk with a professor before about their research and what made them teach the subject they teach, but they didn't seem to enjoy speaking about anything and wanted to remain on their phone. I guess that one interaction with one professor made me feel awkward about visiting professors.

 

[Morc]

I second using office hours, and sometimes chatting about non-class related stuff. I think that some professors are receptive to this, and some aren’t - just use your judgement. Professors are humans, too.


The biggest thing is being genuine and not saying things to make yourself someone you’re not. The most cringeworthy memories I have from college are seeing other pre-meds being overly nice (like inhumanly nice) and superficial to professors

 

[Future_Bone_Docta]

Hello,

I don't understand how students build strong bonds with professors. I raise my hand to answer questions posed in class, don't often ask questions because I can't come up with anything nor struggle too much with material. What do I do to put my foot in the door outside of coming to their office hours to awkwardly introduce myself? The only professor I've built a good bond with is one that I succeeded in their coursework and am now TAing for them. Visiting office hours doesn't really help, because I usually am able to resolve any questions through use of the web and textbooks.

What do professors/recommenders even talk about in a letter outside of how well they did in the course and how they went on to assist in teaching underclassmen?

Easiest way to build a relationship imo is to get into research with a professor. I would do research for about ~8 hours every Sunday with my Anatomy Professor. Since then I have been graduated a year, and we still go out to eat biweekly to catch up.

n=1
State school... avg. size (8k total enrollment)

 

[Ihave Nonamè]

Well keep in mind that not all professors are interested in students. Don't let this affect how you feel about all professors. I've been lucky to have had a couple who were very friendly and very wiling to laugh at any stupid jokes I made (yes even with others there). But what has impressed professors is the questions I ask that are outside of the box. I have one professor that repeatedly comments about the types of questions I have asked and even turns to the other students to say "this is the type of question that excites me" or "sorry but this is a really really intriguing question"...

Don't ask them to repeat the answers they've already mentioned in class. Those are the types of questions you ask TAs.

 

[cheese puff]

Is this for rec letter purposes? You’ll get stronger letters from professors you work with outside of class—ex: being a TA (which you’re already doing) or researching in their lab. 3 out of 4 of my letters were from profs/doctors I personally worked with. My 4th letter was from a prof that taught a small (<30 students) upper division course which I happened to do really well in. I would say that’s your next best bet—find a small class with a friendly professor, be engaged in lecture so the prof learns your name, and work hard so you can perform well/near the top of the class.

 

[deleted859689]

Hello,

I don't understand how students build strong bonds with professors. I raise my hand to answer questions posed in class, don't often ask questions because I can't come up with anything nor struggle too much with material. What do I do to put my foot in the door outside of coming to their office hours to awkwardly introduce myself? The only professor I've built a good bond with is one that I succeeded in their coursework and am now TAing for them. Visiting office hours doesn't really help, because I usually am able to resolve any questions through use of the web and textbooks.

What do professors/recommenders even talk about in a letter outside of how well they did in the course and how they went on to assist in teaching underclassmen?

research professor. I lived at my professors house after college for like a month while cleaning up the lab and running a few reactions. I even set up my gaming PC in the lab LOL

 

[deleted994889]

Start by sitting in front and actively participating. Don't be late and don't be on your phone. Then visit their office hours regularly, but not everyday unless you really need something. Be there on the first day and "awkwardly introduce yourself," as you said it. This is all standard stuff if you want a letter of rec or something.

If you want to deepen the relationship, though, you're gonna have to step it up. Smile and be sincere. After a few questions related to the class, start focusing the conversation on them. People like to talk about themselves so let them! Try not to talk about yourself unless they ask. Pay attention to the little personal details they drop and use those as conversation few. Remember things they say (jot down some notes after if you have to!). Be patient. When if they are genuinely interested in you, they will focus the conversation on you without you having to, making it very organic and natural.

There is one rule: if ain't working, it ain't working. They're busy, you're busy, they're not feeling it, you're not feeling it, the conversations are dull, there's no interest, whatever. Cut your losses and move on. You have already been proactive at this point so if the natural chemistry isn't there, just let it go. Remember that for each professor someone is tight with, they've got ten that they aren't.

 

[Kardio]

It may help to take a second class taught by the same professor. It will make your relationship more longitudinal.

 

[deleted947265]

1. Hang out with professors you actually like.
2. Go to office hours with actual questions, don't ask really obvious stuff.
3. Take classes with the same professor and consistently make a good impression.

 

[deleted393595]

Hello,

I don't understand how students build strong bonds with professors. I raise my hand to answer questions posed in class, don't often ask questions because I can't come up with anything nor struggle too much with material. What do I do to put my foot in the door outside of coming to their office hours to awkwardly introduce myself? The only professor I've built a good bond with is one that I succeeded in their coursework and am now TAing for them. Visiting office hours doesn't really help, because I usually am able to resolve any questions through use of the web and textbooks.

What do professors/recommenders even talk about in a letter outside of how well they did in the course and how they went on to assist in teaching underclassmen?

Come back and be a class tutor (through your school's tutor program). Give them the handouts you made for yourself that they can give to the next set of students after your class. If they do research in a field you find interesting, go join their lab! Take higher level classes they teach that you find interesting!

 

[Hzreio]

Sit in the front, be engaged with the material. There's got to be some stuff you find interesting in classes. When your interest piques, there will be a lot of questions you can ask. Go to office hours to discuss material and ask these questions more in depth than you would in class. Moreso, try to accel at the assessments given in the class. At the end, you'll know if you've done this correctly if the professor is able to recognize who you are by name.