How to deal with unsupportive people?

[deleted862527]

Hi guys!

I am currently an aspiring Hematologist, Immunologist, or Hematopathologist (still haven't decided). Meanwhile, here is a little bit about me: I LOVE medicine! I like helping people, and enjoy studying (I know, it sounds nerdy). I have a 3.96 GPA that I work earnestly hard for, but most of all I enjoyed the process. However, some people make me feel insecure about myself. I have family members who stay stuff like: "I can never see you as a Doctor," and always mention the negative aspects of the profession (ex: the long amounts of studying, the 10+ years of training, the debt, stress, etc). and say that they can see me as someone working with computers instead. Additionally, classmates will stay stuff about me like I have, "No life, no friends," because I will get a 100% on many assignments and exams (I hope I'm not bragging, I am only being honest. I liked this stuff I spend a lot of my free time studying it) and I aim for 100's because I want to do my best prepping for the MCAT. I'm majoring in Biochemistry and if I do not get accepted I plan on going to graduate school. If med school doesn't work out or if I do not get accepted, I would rather like to become a Biochemist with a PhD who studies the molecular aspects of diseases and things like that, and develop new treatments or discover the etiology of idiopathic syndromes.

My question is to people in similar circumstances: how do you deal with this? I absolutely hate it when my family members say stuff like this. I want to be a Doctor. My parents and siblings are supportive, but it's my cousins that really start trouble like this. The negative aspects they mention such as the 10+ years, long amounts of studying/stress, etc. they keep saying, make me doubt this career is for me sometimes and make me wonder if it is all worth it.

Thanks!

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Kkshake]

They're probably jealous. With that GPA and your major, you're going places. I wouldn't put much stock in what they say.

 

[ChymeofPassion]

Hi guys!

I am currently an aspiring Hematologist, Immunologist, or Hematopathologist (still haven't decided). Meanwhile, here is a little bit about me: I LOVE medicine! I like helping people, and enjoy studying (I know, it sounds nerdy). I have a 3.96 GPA that I work earnestly hard for, but most of all I enjoyed the process. However, some people make me feel insecure about myself. I have family members who stay stuff like: "I can never see you as a Doctor," and always mention the negative aspects of the profession (ex: the long amounts of studying, the 10+ years of training, the debt, stress, etc). and say that they can see me as someone working with computers instead. Additionally, classmates will stay stuff about me like I have, "No life, no friends," because I will get a 100% on many assignments and exams (I hope I'm not bragging, I am only being honest. I liked this stuff I spend a lot of my free time studying it) and I aim for 100's because I want to do my best prepping for the MCAT. I'm majoring in Biochemistry and if I do not get accepted I plan on going to graduate school. If med school doesn't work out or if I do not get accepted, I would rather like to become a Biochemist with a PhD who studies the molecular aspects of diseases and things like that, and develop new treatments or discover the etiology of idiopathic syndromes.

My question is to people in similar circumstances: how do you deal with this? I absolutely hate it when my family members say stuff like this. I want to be a Doctor. My parents and siblings are supportive, but it's my cousins that really start trouble like this. The negative aspects they mention such as the 10+ years, long amounts of studying/stress, etc. they keep saying, make me doubt this career is for me sometimes and make me wonder if it is all worth it.

Thanks!

If your cousins throw shade on your GPA/career choice, find out their GPA/career choice and ruin them.

 

[deleted862527]

They're probably jealous. With that GPA and your major, you're going places. I wouldn't put much stock in what they say.

Thank you so much! I shouldn't give their thoughts much emphasis. Just keep plugging away and becoming a good Doctor, and do the best I can!

If your cousins throw shade on your GPA/career choice, find out their GPA/career choice and ruin them.

Fair enough. Thanks for the advice!!

 

[Med Ed]

Hi guys!

I am currently an aspiring Hematologist, Immunologist, or Hematopathologist (still haven't decided). Meanwhile, here is a little bit about me: I LOVE medicine! I like helping people, and enjoy studying (I know, it sounds nerdy). I have a 3.96 GPA that I work earnestly hard for, but most of all I enjoyed the process. However, some people make me feel insecure about myself. I have family members who stay stuff like: "I can never see you as a Doctor," and always mention the negative aspects of the profession (ex: the long amounts of studying, the 10+ years of training, the debt, stress, etc). and say that they can see me as someone working with computers instead. Additionally, classmates will stay stuff about me like I have, "No life, no friends," because I will get a 100% on many assignments and exams (I hope I'm not bragging, I am only being honest. I liked this stuff I spend a lot of my free time studying it) and I aim for 100's because I want to do my best prepping for the MCAT. I'm majoring in Biochemistry and if I do not get accepted I plan on going to graduate school. If med school doesn't work out or if I do not get accepted, I would rather like to become a Biochemist with a PhD who studies the molecular aspects of diseases and things like that, and develop new treatments or discover the etiology of idiopathic syndromes.

My question is to people in similar circumstances: how do you deal with this? I absolutely hate it when my family members say stuff like this. I want to be a Doctor. My parents and siblings are supportive, but it's my cousins that really start trouble like this. The negative aspects they mention such as the 10+ years, long amounts of studying/stress, etc. they keep saying, make me doubt this career is for me sometimes and make me wonder if it is all worth it.

Thanks!

Chop them up and feed them to supportive people.

 

[deleted862527]

Chop them up and feed them to supportive people.

Hey Med Ed, it says you are a Physician.

I have one question. In med school, is there at least some time to relax? I understand the commitment, and I will do the best I can. However, will there be at least some time to relax? Or is it all about time management?

Thank you!!

 

[bbbcccppp]

Some of the comments like I can't see you as a doctor don't necessarily imply belittlement. Could be friendly banter. I agree that you should fight fire with fire especially in a friendly way. Turn the conversation around. In any case you can only make yourself happy. Anything else doesn't work. Pick your friends wisely. You only need 1 or 2 good friends. The classmates will be serving your Fries sooner than you imagine.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[bbbcccppp]

No law that says you have to stay close to cousins. Find the good ones.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[Endoxifen]

Have you considered putting laxatives in their coffee? That should help them redirect the flow from their mouth to where it's supposed to come out.

 

[deleted862527]

No law that says you have to stay close to cousins. Find the good ones.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

So true! Thank you!!

 

[deleted862527]

Have you considered putting laxatives in their coffee? That should help them redirect the flow from their mouth to where it's supposed to come out.

No, but I'll make sure to try it!!

 

[Catalystik]

Hi guys!

I am currently an aspiring Hematologist, Immunologist, or Hematopathologist (still haven't decided). Meanwhile, here is a little bit about me: I LOVE medicine! I like helping people, and enjoy studying (I know, it sounds nerdy). I have a 3.96 GPA that I work earnestly hard for, but most of all I enjoyed the process. However, some people make me feel insecure about myself. I have family members who stay stuff like: "I can never see you as a Doctor," and always mention the negative aspects of the profession (ex: the long amounts of studying, the 10+ years of training, the debt, stress, etc). and say that they can see me as someone working with computers instead. Additionally, classmates will stay stuff about me like I have, "No life, no friends," because I will get a 100% on many assignments and exams (I hope I'm not bragging, I am only being honest. I liked this stuff I spend a lot of my free time studying it) and I aim for 100's because I want to do my best prepping for the MCAT. I'm majoring in Biochemistry and if I do not get accepted I plan on going to graduate school. If med school doesn't work out or if I do not get accepted, I would rather like to become a Biochemist with a PhD who studies the molecular aspects of diseases and things like that, and develop new treatments or discover the etiology of idiopathic syndromes.

My question is to people in similar circumstances: how do you deal with this? I absolutely hate it when my family members say stuff like this. I want to be a Doctor. My parents and siblings are supportive, but it's my cousins that really start trouble like this. The negative aspects they mention such as the 10+ years, long amounts of studying/stress, etc. they keep saying, make me doubt this career is for me sometimes and make me wonder if it is all worth it.

Stop giving out information others can use for attack. Keep your business to yourself and those who support you. Doubters are gonna doubt. Why support their feeding frenzy?

 

[deleted862527]

Stop giving out information others can use for attack. Keep your business to yourself and those who support you. Doubters are gonna doubt. Why support their feeding frenzy?

Ok. Thanks!

 

[Goro]

Ignore your family, and find better friends.

And develop a thicker skin.

Hi guys!

I am currently an aspiring Hematologist, Immunologist, or Hematopathologist (still haven't decided). Meanwhile, here is a little bit about me: I LOVE medicine! I like helping people, and enjoy studying (I know, it sounds nerdy). I have a 3.96 GPA that I work earnestly hard for, but most of all I enjoyed the process. However, some people make me feel insecure about myself. I have family members who stay stuff like: "I can never see you as a Doctor," and always mention the negative aspects of the profession (ex: the long amounts of studying, the 10+ years of training, the debt, stress, etc). and say that they can see me as someone working with computers instead. Additionally, classmates will stay stuff about me like I have, "No life, no friends," because I will get a 100% on many assignments and exams (I hope I'm not bragging, I am only being honest. I liked this stuff I spend a lot of my free time studying it) and I aim for 100's because I want to do my best prepping for the MCAT. I'm majoring in Biochemistry and if I do not get accepted I plan on going to graduate school. If med school doesn't work out or if I do not get accepted, I would rather like to become a Biochemist with a PhD who studies the molecular aspects of diseases and things like that, and develop new treatments or discover the etiology of idiopathic syndromes.

My question is to people in similar circumstances: how do you deal with this? I absolutely hate it when my family members say stuff like this. I want to be a Doctor. My parents and siblings are supportive, but it's my cousins that really start trouble like this. The negative aspects they mention such as the 10+ years, long amounts of studying/stress, etc. they keep saying, make me doubt this career is for me sometimes and make me wonder if it is all worth it.

Thanks!

 

[deleted862527]

Ignore your family, and find better friends.

And develop a thicker skin.

Definitely take your advice. Doctor's need a thick skin. I'll work on that.

Thanks, Goro.

 

[Sand&Stars]

Hi guys!

I am currently an aspiring Hematologist, Immunologist, or Hematopathologist (still haven't decided). Meanwhile, here is a little bit about me: I LOVE medicine! I like helping people, and enjoy studying (I know, it sounds nerdy). I have a 3.96 GPA that I work earnestly hard for, but most of all I enjoyed the process. However, some people make me feel insecure about myself. I have family members who stay stuff like: "I can never see you as a Doctor," and always mention the negative aspects of the profession (ex: the long amounts of studying, the 10+ years of training, the debt, stress, etc). and say that they can see me as someone working with computers instead. Additionally, classmates will stay stuff about me like I have, "No life, no friends," because I will get a 100% on many assignments and exams (I hope I'm not bragging, I am only being honest. I liked this stuff I spend a lot of my free time studying it) and I aim for 100's because I want to do my best prepping for the MCAT. I'm majoring in Biochemistry and if I do not get accepted I plan on going to graduate school. If med school doesn't work out or if I do not get accepted, I would rather like to become a Biochemist with a PhD who studies the molecular aspects of diseases and things like that, and develop new treatments or discover the etiology of idiopathic syndromes.

My question is to people in similar circumstances: how do you deal with this? I absolutely hate it when my family members say stuff like this. I want to be a Doctor. My parents and siblings are supportive, but it's my cousins that really start trouble like this. The negative aspects they mention such as the 10+ years, long amounts of studying/stress, etc. they keep saying, make me doubt this career is for me sometimes and make me wonder if it is all worth it.

Thanks!

Start by brushing it off, ignore it, make a joke, changing the topic etc. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone, and often these comments aren't made maliciously. Don't let it get to you.

However, if its really starting to bother you, or they really keep starting trouble walk away. I come from a very traditional family that doesn't believe the women in our family should have jobs, let alone be doctors. My mother is very supportive but my grandparents, uncles, cousins have not been supportive. I couldn't have a conversation without being criticized. I have dropped all contact with them besides the minimum niceties. It may come to that point but don't let them stand between you and your dreams

 

[deleted862527]

Start by brushing it off, ignore it, make a joke, changing the topic etc. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone, and often these comments aren't made maliciously. Don't let it get to you.

However, if its really starting to bother you, or they really keep starting trouble walk away. I come from a very traditional family that doesn't believe the women in our family should have jobs, let alone be doctors. My mother is very supportive but my grandparents, uncles, cousins have not been supportive. I couldn't have a conversation without being criticized. I have dropped all contact with them besides the minimum niceties. It may come to that point but don't let them stand between you and your dreams

Thanks! Good for you for separating yourselves from them. You don't deserve that.

 

[Donna Moss]

.

 

[PreMedMissteps]

Hi guys!

I am currently an aspiring Hematologist, Immunologist, or Hematopathologist (still haven't decided). Meanwhile, here is a little bit about me: I LOVE medicine! I like helping people, and enjoy studying (I know, it sounds nerdy). I have a 3.96 GPA that I work earnestly hard for, but most of all I enjoyed the process. However, some people make me feel insecure about myself. I have family members who stay stuff like: "I can never see you as a Doctor," and always mention the negative aspects of the profession (ex: the long amounts of studying, the 10+ years of training, the debt, stress, etc). and say that they can see me as someone working with computers instead. Additionally, classmates will stay stuff about me like I have, "No life, no friends," because I will get a 100% on many assignments and exams (I hope I'm not bragging, I am only being honest. I liked this stuff I spend a lot of my free time studying it) and I aim for 100's because I want to do my best prepping for the MCAT. I'm majoring in Biochemistry and if I do not get accepted I plan on going to graduate school. If med school doesn't work out or if I do not get accepted, I would rather like to become a Biochemist with a PhD who studies the molecular aspects of diseases and things like that, and develop new treatments or discover the etiology of idiopathic syndromes.

My question is to people in similar circumstances: how do you deal with this? I absolutely hate it when my family members say stuff like this. I want to be a Doctor. My parents and siblings are supportive, but it's my cousins that really start trouble like this. The negative aspects they mention such as the 10+ years, long amounts of studying/stress, etc. they keep saying, make me doubt this career is for me sometimes and make me wonder if it is all worth it.

Thanks!

Ignore them.
Who knows what is going on in their heads. They may be jealous. They may be stuck in some preconceived idea as to what a doctor should look like. They may have projection or validation issues...it's not something they would do or could imagine themselves doing.

It sounds like you're focused and you like natural science material. Keep going. You do you.