How to gauge responses to LOR requests?

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How do you know if someone will write you a good letter or not if they don't explicitly state it? Or, if they don't explicitly give you praise when you request the LOR does that mean they may write a bland and/or defamatory letter? I'm starting to get neurotic about these LORs trying to gauge which ones I want to ultimately use.
 
How do you know if someone will write you a good letter or not if they don't explicitly state it? Or, if they don't explicitly give you praise when you request the LOR does that mean they may write a bland and/or defamatory letter? I'm starting to get neurotic about these LORs trying to gauge which ones I want to ultimately use.

Is it considered impolite, if you casually ask, "can you right me a POSITIVE LOR?" I haven't asked for any yet....
 
Is it considered impolite, if you casually ask, "can you right me a POSITIVE LOR?" I haven't asked for any yet....
I didn't feel bad asking this for pre-med LORs, but I'm not sure if it is the best thing to do in the clinical years as the staff you're asking for LORs are more than likely evaluating you as well. Your best bet, IMO, is to not rock the boat or ask/do anything "controversial."

Other student thoughts?
 
I think you should already know if they can do that.. if you are unsure, you didn't do enough with that attending. It's up to you whether you still want to ask.
 
I think you should already know if they can do that.. if you are unsure, you didn't do enough with that attending. It's up to you whether you still want to ask.

Yeah, I definitely agree with this. I'm confident I worked with the attending plenty and can't think of anything I did that would be perceived negatively. Personality wise, though, the person is hard to read, I guess. I don't get the same feeling from the other writers, so maybe it's best to forego the letter and seek one from someone else.
 
It is wise to ask for LORs in the following manner:
"Would you feel comfortable writing me a strong letter of recommendation?"

The letter writer should be able to honestly answer that question. In some cases, busy attendings told me to write my own LOR for them to sign.
 
I like to use this handy chart. It's convenient, because you can already find it in most of the patients' rooms. If they make a 6+ face, it's better to try elsewhere.

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As someone who has read several applicant's LOR (both for residency application and for private pratice MD job applications), I can say that very few letters jump out at me. Most letters say the same thing; unless of course, they say sometime lukewarm or negative about you (such as being lazy, inconsiderate, etc).

Given the above point, I am often more interested in the applicant if the LOR I'm reading is from some bigwig, or someone I know personally. I may not know all the bigwigs, but I'm more impressed when the the letterhead is from department Chair, professor emertisus, or etc. Similarly, if the LOR letter is from a buddy of mine, then I'll perk up in reading what my buddy has to say about the applicant.

You can't control who will read your letters, nor exactly what the letter will say; but you can try to get a letter from someone more involved in the academic circles of your speciality choice.
 
Yeah who your letter writers are prob more impt than what they say as long as the letter writers are well acquainted with you. Using the "do you feel comfortable writing me a strong letter" construct is good.
 
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