How to handle being mis-titled

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Dr_Bee

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Some brief background - I am currently finishing up PD at a site where I have already been informally offered and accepted a full time position in the fall. I will be working closely with psychiatrists and residents as part of an inpatient team and my future boss is a psychiatrist. I recently started working (4hours weekly) on the unit as part of my PD training/informal onboarding. I wrestled with being called Dr. when first started PD like many of my other female colleagues, but have since become comfortable with the title. I have ALWAYS been introduced as Dr____ this year until I started working on the inpatient unit. I continue to be addressed as Dr___ most of the time except by the social worker I share office space with. She has repeatedly, over the past few weeks addressed me by my first name (which I don't go by) and introduced me as such to patients and other colleagues. It threw me off guard the first few times because it's the first time it has happened and I brushed it off, but yesterday while co-facilitating a group she did it repeatedly during the group.

Long story short - how do you handle being introduced by your first name? In this instance, do I let it go, have an informal conversation with the person? Speak to my/her boss? Bring down wrath? Ordinarily I don't care if a patient refers to me as Dr__ but since this colleague has only ever addressed me by my first name, it has planted a seed of doubt that as a psychologist, a female psychologist at that, I am less valued. Guidance is appreciated!
 
Dr_Bee said:
Some brief background - I am currently finishing up PD at a site where I have already been informally offered and accepted a full time position in the fall. I will be working closely with psychiatrists and residents as part of an inpatient team and my future boss is a psychiatrist. I recently started working (4hours weekly) on the unit as part of my PD training/informal onboarding. I wrestled with being called Dr. when first started PD like many of my other female colleagues, but have since become comfortable with the title. I have ALWAYS been introduced as Dr____ this year until I started working on the inpatient unit. I continue to be addressed as Dr___ most of the time except by the social worker I share office space with. She has repeatedly, over the past few weeks addressed me by my first name (which I don't go by) and introduced me as such to patients and other colleagues. It threw me off guard the first few times because it's the first time it has happened and I brushed it off, but yesterday while co-facilitating a group she did it repeatedly during the group.

Long story short - how do you handle being introduced by your first name? In this instance, do I let it go, have an informal conversation with the person? Speak to my/her boss? Bring down wrath? Ordinarily I don't care if a patient refers to me as Dr__ but since this colleague has only ever addressed me by my first name, it has planted a seed of doubt that as a psychologist, a female psychologist at that, I am less valued. Guidance is appreciated!
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Sorry this is happening. Definitely start by addressing with her one-on-one and then go from there.
 
I usually explain why. I’m not sure if that’s a gendered response and if a male would just say, call me doctor! But I usually address it with them by explaining that women lose their titles easily, and I would like the title used with patients and professionally. I don’t care if my colleagues use my title.
 
Dr_Bee said:
Some brief background - I am currently finishing up PD at a site where I have already been informally offered and accepted a full time position in the fall. I will be working closely with psychiatrists and residents as part of an inpatient team and my future boss is a psychiatrist. I recently started working (4hours weekly) on the unit as part of my PD training/informal onboarding. I wrestled with being called Dr. when first started PD like many of my other female colleagues, but have since become comfortable with the title. I have ALWAYS been introduced as Dr____ this year until I started working on the inpatient unit. I continue to be addressed as Dr___ most of the time except by the social worker I share office space with. She has repeatedly, over the past few weeks addressed me by my first name (which I don't go by) and introduced me as such to patients and other colleagues. It threw me off guard the first few times because it's the first time it has happened and I brushed it off, but yesterday while co-facilitating a group she did it repeatedly during the group.

Long story short - how do you handle being introduced by your first name? In this instance, do I let it go, have an informal conversation with the person? Speak to my/her boss? Bring down wrath? Ordinarily I don't care if a patient refers to me as Dr__ but since this colleague has only ever addressed me by my first name, it has planted a seed of doubt that as a psychologist, a female psychologist at that, I am less valued. Guidance is appreciated!
Click to expand...
We had a thread about this recently - I encourage you to look it up. I agree, bring it up to her directly. It's a shame other colleagues haven't done it for you but hopefully it's a quick conversation. I had to have a similar conversation last year though that one was not patient facing. It's hard to advocate for yourself.
 
Dr_Bee said:
Some brief background - I am currently finishing up PD at a site where I have already been informally offered and accepted a full time position in the fall. I will be working closely with psychiatrists and residents as part of an inpatient team and my future boss is a psychiatrist. I recently started working (4hours weekly) on the unit as part of my PD training/informal onboarding. I wrestled with being called Dr. when first started PD like many of my other female colleagues, but have since become comfortable with the title. I have ALWAYS been introduced as Dr____ this year until I started working on the inpatient unit. I continue to be addressed as Dr___ most of the time except by the social worker I share office space with. She has repeatedly, over the past few weeks addressed me by my first name (which I don't go by) and introduced me as such to patients and other colleagues. It threw me off guard the first few times because it's the first time it has happened and I brushed it off, but yesterday while co-facilitating a group she did it repeatedly during the group.

Long story short - how do you handle being introduced by your first name? In this instance, do I let it go, have an informal conversation with the person? Speak to my/her boss? Bring down wrath? Ordinarily I don't care if a patient refers to me as Dr__ but since this colleague has only ever addressed me by my first name, it has planted a seed of doubt that as a psychologist, a female psychologist at that, I am less valued. Guidance is appreciated!
Click to expand...

Consider having a conversation with her to find out why. Perhaps an unpopular opinion, but I would approach it from a fact finding mission rather than approaching it from the perspective of trying to get her to address you as Dr. I work in an integrated care setting. I prefer not to go by Dr. LastName for various reasons. Other colleagues choose differently.
 
I agree--it may be uncomfortable, but the first step would be to address it with her directly. I like the approach of a fact-finding mission if that fits with your style, although at its most basic, it could be something like, "Hi NAME, I'd really appreciate it if you'd refer to me as Dr. NAME with patients and in other professional contexts rather than using my first name. Thanks."

Provide additional explanation as works for you.

Anecdotally, in the situations I've seen/heard of this happening, it A) universally involved a female provider (typically psychologist), and B) the "offender" for whatever reason was most often a social worker (in professionals contexts; happens frequently with patients as well). I suspect it may have something to do with prior training and the general approach/view that provider has RE: relationships with patients.
 
Does the social worker call the other doctoral-level providers "Dr"?
If so I might ask in a curious and polite way why she draws that distinction between you and the others.

If the issue is that she is using a first name that you don't go by, that's an easy correction ("Just letting you know I go by Sam").

In a group co-facilitation setting, is it possible that she feels using a professional title would create distance that she views as undesirable in that patient care context?

For what it's worth, I'm generally on a first name basis with professional colleagues regardless of who's got what degree. SW always call me by my first name. I'm not *their* doctor. I do introduce myself to patients as "Dr" but at least one of the SW also does routinely refer to me by my first name when speaking with patients. I really don't consider this significant enough to make a fuss about. (I'm a female psychiatrist in my mid-40s.)
 
It's only happened to me a couple times. Each time, I immediately address the offending provider by the first name in the professional setting. One time, they immediately referred to me as Dr. WisNeuro. The other time they informed me that they were Dr. SuchandSuch, I replied, good, and I'm Dr. Wisneuro. Never a problem with those individuals again.

In the case of the SW, I'd just be very upfront that in front of patients and in patient settings, they need to refer to me as Dr. WisNeuro. In employee only areas, first name is fine. .
 
WisNeuro said:
It's only happened to me a couple times. Each time, I immediately address the offending provider by the first name in the professional setting. One time, they immediately referred to me as Dr. WisNeuro. The other time they informed me that they were Dr. SuchandSuch, I replied, good, and I'm Dr. Wisneuro. Never a problem with those individuals again.

In the case of the SW, I'd just be very upfront that in front of patients and in patient settings, they need to refer to me as Dr. WisNeuro. In employee only areas, first name is fine. .
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I've had similar experiences with social work, which upon discussion came from how they conceptualized patients and providers. They called them clients/consumers, the latter feeling very weird. I've also seen this happen with trainees (all were female fellows and with male staff), so I modeled the above behavior and it addressed the issue.
 
tr said:
Does the social worker call the other doctoral-level providers "Dr"?
If so I might ask in a curious and polite way why she draws that distinction between you and the others.

If the issue is that she is using a first name that you don't go by, that's an easy correction ("Just letting you know I go by Sam").

In a group co-facilitation setting, is it possible that she feels using a professional title would create distance that she views as undesirable in that patient care context?

For what it's worth, I'm generally on a first name basis with professional colleagues regardless of who's got what degree. SW always call me by my first name. I'm not *their* doctor. I do introduce myself to patients as "Dr" but at least one of the SW also does routinely refer to me by my first name when speaking with patients. I really don't consider this significant enough to make a fuss about. (I'm a female psychiatrist in my mid-40s.)
Click to expand...
Good question - I have only been on the unit 3 weeks but have never heard her address any other doctoral-level provider by their first name. I am the only psychologist on the unit and currently the only female doctoral-level provider on our team (all other doctoral-level providers are male psychiatrists/residents).

She has introduced me to other colleagues in the hallway by first name, one was a suicide prevention coordinator, the other the peer support specialist who I will be providing clinical supervision to once I am hired full time.

The issue for me is less about the title per se (I have no problem with her calling me by my first name) but more about the culture and equity both in terms of sex and discipline. If the culture refers to doctoral-level male psychiatrists as Dr__ I would also like that title used for me (female psychologist), until I state otherwise.
 
tr said:
For what it's worth, I'm generally on a first name basis with professional colleagues regardless of who's got what degree. SW always call me by my first name. I'm not *their* doctor. I do introduce myself to patients as "Dr" but at least one of the SW also does routinely refer to me by my first name when speaking with patients. I really don't consider this significant enough to make a fuss about. (I'm a female psychiatrist in my mid-40s.)
Click to expand...

Yes! I didn't quite adequately capture this, but I think there are absolutely cultural differences and norms between fields. Even highly related fields. Even people within the same field. And its hard to understand the origins of that without asking the question.

Dr_Bee said:
Thanks for all the feedback, some helpful ideas/thoughts! I plan on addressing with her one-on-one and we will go from there!
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Good for you for having the conversation!
 
“Hey Ms social worker, I’ve noticed thats got me a little bothered. In one on one time, pls use my first name. But in front of patients and when introducing me to other professionals, please use “Dr. Blank” at first. It means a lot to me because I am a young female and people are less likely to take me seriously if I just use my first name.
 
borne_before said:
“Hey Ms social worker, I’ve noticed thats got me a little bothered. In one on one time, pls use my first name. But in front of patients and when introducing me to other professionals, please use “Dr. Blank” at first. It means a lot to me because I am a young female and people are less likely to take me seriously if I just use my first name.
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This.

Or...this. (If you'd rather not clue the person into your 'young female,' 'less seriously' status...why plant that seed?)

"Hi, I'd like for you to Address me as "Dr. Bee," in front of patients/clients, please. It is how I would like to be addressed professionally. [Period] BTW you can call me by my first name, as a colleague." 😉 (Literally, wink.... just kidding....that would be snarky.)

I have four long foreign names (daggone research publications and the VA doesn't allow me to use some or the other...I have to use all four now 🙄). I am particular about which of those names someone uses...so I go through this situation a lot.
 
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CheetahGirl said:
This.

Or...this. (If you'd rather not clue the person into your 'young female,' 'less seriously' status...why plant that seed?)

"Hi, I'd like for you to Address me as "Dr. Bee," in front of patients/clients, please. It is how I would like to be addressed professionally. [Period] BTW you can call me by my first name, as a colleague." 😉 (Literally, wink.... just kidding....that would be snarky.)

I have four long foreign names (daggone research publications and the VA doesn't allow me to use some or the other...I have to use all four now 🙄). I am particular about which of those names someone uses...so I go through this situation a lot.
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This is even better - sometimes we forget that "no" is a full sentence - you don't have to explain yourself all the time.
 
I think theres nothing wrong with politely informing them of your title- tbh, I often forget myself what the title is for other people, although I do make an effort to remember and apologize if I slip up. This is the perspective of a psychiatrist.
 
Not trying to make this political, however, at a time where you can have your preferred pronouns attached to the sig of your email one would think there would be a better way of ensuring someone is referred to by their proper title in a professional setting than having to resort to awkward conversations. Funny how things work.
 
Sanman said:
Not trying to make this political, however, at a time where you can have your preferred pronouns attached to the sig of your email one would think there would be a better way of ensuring someone is referred to by their proper title in a professional setting than having to resort to awkward conversations. Funny how things work.
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Not shocking, the political milieu that the practice of preferred pronouns emerged from is usually pretty hostile to the idea of hierarchy.

I mean that as a strictly descriptive neutral statement without value judgment, not looking to start a fight.
 
clausewitz2 said:
Not shocking, the political milieu that the practice of preferred pronouns emerged from is usually pretty hostile to the idea of hierarchy.

I mean that as a strictly descriptive neutral statement without value judgment, not looking to start a fight.
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I think they’re hostile to certain types of earned hierarchy. But, the whole movement is about ascending another type of identitarian hierarchy.
 
I really appreciate this thread. I'm a few months from starting my first "grown-up" position as a psychologist, and I've been thinking about my title too. I appreciate that my right to be in spaces is questioned a whole lot less now that I have a title. I have had more than one experience where someone thought I was a patient or some nefarious individual snooping around the hospital. Yes, I was wearing a badge in all of these circumstances. The title is a shortcut for people knowing my credentials and questioning me less. I don't use my title as a wedge to signal superiority or even formality. It's a way to be legitimized and not have doors closed in my face that are supposed to be open.
 
Shiori said:
I really appreciate this thread. I'm a few months from starting my first "grown-up" position as a psychologist, and I've been thinking about my title too. I appreciate that my right to be in spaces is questioned a whole lot less now that I have a title. I have had more than one experience where someone thought I was a patient or some nefarious individual snooping around the hospital. Yes, I was wearing a badge in all of these circumstances. The title is a shortcut for people knowing my credentials and questioning me less. I don't use my title as a wedge to signal superiority or even formality. It's a way to be legitimized and not have doors closed in my face that are supposed to be open.
Click to expand...
Even with my badge and my white coat, which I have started wearing for that very purpose, I can't tell you how many times patients (and colleagues) continue to refer to me as "nurse," "assistant," "hun," or use my first name, despite automatically referring to my male colleagues as Dr. X. It's SO frustrating.
 
neurotic_cow said:
Even with my badge and my white coat, which I have started wearing for that very purpose, I can't tell you how many times patients (and colleagues) continue to refer to me as "nurse," "assistant," "hun," or use my first name, despite automatically referring to my male colleagues as Dr. X. It's SO frustrating.
Click to expand...
So frustrating! The white coat is sending me over the edge.
 
neurotic_cow said:
Even with my badge and my white coat, which I have started wearing for that very purpose, I can't tell you how many times patients (and colleagues) continue to refer to me as "nurse," "assistant," "hun," or use my first name, despite automatically referring to my male colleagues as Dr. X. It's SO frustrating.
Click to expand...
Yeah I can only imagine how annoying that would be, I think if you're in the outpatient setting and build up continuity eventually youll hear that less with repeat f/us.

A male calling a female hun is a weird thing to me, in a professional setting definitely other staff members shouldn't do that, and if patients do that, I think correcting them and laying down a few ground rules is ok.
 
neurotic_cow said:
Even with my badge and my white coat, which I have started wearing for that very purpose, I can't tell you how many times patients (and colleagues) continue to refer to me as "nurse," "assistant," "hun," or use my first name, despite automatically referring to my male colleagues as Dr. X. It's SO frustrating.
Click to expand...

These days, the white coat is non-specific. Nurses, OTs, SLPs, all wore them on inpatient units at my old job. Personally, I'd rather wear scrubs than a white coat, more comfortable and better pocket placement.
 
DrAmazingishere said:
Yeah I can only imagine how annoying that would be, I think if you're in the outpatient setting and build up continuity eventually youll hear that less with repeat f/us.

A male calling a female hun is a weird thing to me, in a professional setting definitely other staff members shouldn't do that, and if patients do that, I think correcting them and laying down a few ground rules is ok.
Click to expand...
Man, when I became a dad, I totally started referring to the youngins I work with (both genders) with more endearing terms... I literally cannot help but call a kid a "bub," "buddy," "little dude," "big man," or even the odd "sweetie" or "cutie." I used to feel self-conscious about it, but a lot of my patients don't typically get that because of how they look or behave. No parent has ever had an issue with, even when I ask them about it.

One time, I had a parent who was just absolutely beating herself up for no reason in session, and I said something, in a totally genuine way, like without thinking about it, "hon, you are just absolutely being too mean to yourself - you didn't know at that time" and provided some empathy and commented about how hard she was being on herself. I apologized, but it was just kind of a weird genuine moment - I still feel embarrassed about it.
 
WisNeuro said:
These days, the white coat is non-specific. Nurses, OTs, SLPs, all wore them on inpatient units at my old job. Personally, I'd rather wear scrubs than a white coat, more comfortable and better pocket placement.
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Hm, interesting. Here only physicians, some PAs, and psychologists wear them. I personally hate wearing it, I just decided to give it a go since this has been a chronic problem for me and so far it's been fairly effective.

I'm also always afraid of a medical emergency happening while I'm wearing it and people looking to me like "Doc, help!" and then I have to be like "I'm not a real doctor!"
 
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I'm a fan of the untucked short sleeve button down/golf shirt, desert boots, and stretch khakis. But, I do get on the floor a lot.
 
neurotic_cow said:
As much as I would LOVE to essentially wear pajamas to work everyday, it would feel really weird as an outpatient neuropsych to wear scrubs.

I know a few psychs who have worn scrubs and were ruthlessly made fun of by neurologists and other physicians.
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Go into private practice, problem solved. More money, and you can generally dress how you want, within bounds.
 
I usually opt for something that looks like a professional potato sack to reduce the number of people commenting on my body. I love working with veterans, but the uncomfortable comments got old quickly. I have been considering what I want to do with my wardrobe as a psychologist as well. I'll be glad when I don't feel like I have to work as hard to be taken seriously. I just want to show up and do my job.
 
Shiori said:
I usually opt for something that looks like a professional potato sack to reduce the number of people commenting on my body. I love working with veterans, but the uncomfortable comments got old quickly. I have been considering what I want to do with my wardrobe as a psychologist as well. I'll be glad when I don't feel like I have to work as hard to be taken seriously. I just want to show up and do my job.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately, that is a not an altogether uncommon sentiment among female psychologists at the VA.
 
Shiori said:
I usually opt for something that looks like a professional potato sack to reduce the number of people commenting on my body. I love working with veterans, but the uncomfortable comments got old quickly. I have been considering what I want to do with my wardrobe as a psychologist as well. I'll be glad when I don't feel like I have to work as hard to be taken seriously. I just want to show up and do my job.
Click to expand...
I heard of one VA where they had an orientation group that was run that addressed this specific thing. Sounded like a good idea to me. In one of my clinics, I had this conversation with the veterans regularly. I remember hearing some truely terrible stories, and not just from comments from the veterans, but staff as well.
 
“I’m honored. Educated society uses my professional title. Peers use my inherited title. I had no idea that we were so familiar that we were using Christian names. What’s your wife cooking for dinner, Steven? Or should I call you lil Steve? or are you just ignoring social norms like an uneducated oaf, to gain advantage, lil stevie-pants?”
 
Shiori said:
I usually opt for something that looks like a professional potato sack to reduce the number of people commenting on my body. I love working with veterans, but the uncomfortable comments got old quickly. I have been considering what I want to do with my wardrobe as a psychologist as well. I'll be glad when I don't feel like I have to work as hard to be taken seriously. I just want to show up and do my job.
Click to expand...
This recent article looks at trainee experiences of sexism, heterosexism, racism, and ableism in VAs. APA PsycNet
 
Consider that your social worker colleague may be harboring (probably unconscious...or not) hostility about your better pay (we hope) or higher status and acting accordingly. You might try a little reflective listening to her in that case.
 
futureapppsy2 said:
This recent article looks at trainee experiences of sexism, heterosexism, racism, and ableism in VAs. APA PsycNet
Click to expand...
It's unfortunate that so many people are having these experiences, and there aren't always good outlets to talk about what's happening. I am thankful I had several supervisors at the same time and could talk about the hard stuff with people who understood and discuss "safer" topics with other supervisors. I still only shared a fraction of my day to day "isms." They're just a typical part of existing in the world with the body and traits that I have. It's not fair, but it is what it is.
 
Just to give an update - I spoke with the social worker yesterday and she responded graciously and apologetically. I felt awkward, but she now refers to me as Dr__ in professional settings and by my appropriate first name individually. I consulted with other female psychologists at my hospital (VA) and they shared similar experiences where they have had to correct folks who address them incorrectly. It seems like, although this was the first time it happened, it likely won't be the last.
 
Dr_Bee said:
Just to give an update - I spoke with the social worker yesterday and she responded graciously and apologetically. I felt awkward, but she now refers to me as Dr__ in professional settings and by my appropriate first name individually. I consulted with other female psychologists at my hospital (VA) and they shared similar experiences where they have had to correct folks who address them incorrectly. It seems like, although this was the first time it happened, it likely won't be the last.
Click to expand...
Yay!! Glad things went well!!
 
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