How to tell my research lab that I'm leaving?

[nuagexrose]

I've been at my research lab for a year now, and am working in it throughout this summer. At the end of the summer, I will be going to a different university, so I will also have to quit my position in the lab. I really enjoy working with my mentor, and I know she'll be extremely shocked and upset to hear that I'm leaving. She has all these independent projects planned out for me (but I think I'll be able to finish before I leave) and she'll often casually mention her future plans involving me and I feel bad that she spent so much time training me only to have me leave partway through.

Changing schools was a very difficult and personal decision for me, and leaving this lab will make it all the harder. The lab was easily the highlight of my time at this school. I had the opportunity to be involved in some truly cutting-edge research. However, I do not enjoy my academic or social experience here, and I need a more tight-knit school as well as a change of scenery.

I don't know when the most appropriate time is to break the news to my mentor and PI. Two weeks before the end of summer seems too abrupt, but any time earlier might change the dynamic and make things awkward for us. I also am unsure of the best way to phrase the reasons why I'm leaving. I don't want to tell them that I don't like my current school, as that doesn't seem professional. I'll also definitely need letters of recommendation, so I'd like to leave on the best terms possible.

So basically, when should I tell them? What should I say? (I'll need to rehearse... I'm so nervous already!)

Sigh... I really hate good-byes.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[annawmc]

I hate goodbyes as well, and I'm a neurotic goodbye rehearser! In my opinion, two weeks is way too abrupt to give notice. If your mentor has projects planned out for you, she will need to know sooner rather than later that you're not going to be there to work on whatever those may be. She may need time to have you wrap up whatever you're working on now. Whatever you do you don't want them feeling like you've left them in the lurch - that definitely won't get you a good letter of rec.

In letting them know you're leaving I wouldn't list the things you disliked about your university, simply tell them something along the lines that "the move is what is best for you at this time" but that, as you said, "The lab was easily the highlight of my time at this school. I had the opportunity to be involved in some truly cutting-edge research." That's a great way to keep it positive. Even if your mentor is surprised and disappointed that you're leaving, if she's a good mentor who wants the best for your academic career she shouldn't be upset.

It can be scary telling someone that you're leaving, especially if you've loved your time working there. Ultimately though, you need to tell them soon if not just for their sake but for yours. You'll be surprised at how much better you feel after letting them know that although you have enjoyed your time working there and you appreciate the opportunities, now you are moving on to a different opportunity. You'll be a better employee to your mentor in the last few months with her if you're not constantly worrying about how to tell her or accidentally saying the wrong thing and giving it away without formally telling her. Also, as a side note, it may not be necessary, but it's always best to be professional and write a formal resignation letter. That way your mentor will have (on paper) the date you're officially leaving, and it's a great place to say how much you loved your work in the lab.

Good luck!

 

[mcloaf]

You put yourself in this position by not warning them that you were considering leaving. Now you're going to have to bite the bullet and leave your PI angry/disappointed.

 

[positivityrocks]

I just did this yesterday! It can be really intimidating, but I've found it gets a little easier with practice. It was a huge relief for me to be able to tell them about my plans, and I found it went better than I expected. 🙂

My advice:
1) Do it in person (preferably pre-scheduled if you can get time to meet with them).
2) Emphasize how difficult it was for you to make the decision
3) Thank them for the opportunity
4) Ask if there is anything you can do to help ease the transition

 

[nuagexrose]

I just did this yesterday! It can be really intimidating, but I've found it gets a little easier with practice. It was a huge relief for me to be able to tell them about my plans, and I found it went better than I expected. 🙂

My advice:
1) Do it in person (preferably pre-scheduled if you can get time to meet with them).
2) Emphasize how difficult it was for you to make the decision
3) Thank them for the opportunity
4) Ask if there is anything you can do to help ease the transition

How far in advance of your leaving date did you tell them?

 

[NuttyEngDude]

I just did this yesterday! It can be really intimidating, but I've found it gets a little easier with practice. It was a huge relief for me to be able to tell them about my plans, and I found it went better than I expected. 🙂

My advice:
1) Do it in person (preferably pre-scheduled if you can get time to meet with them).
2) Emphasize how difficult it was for you to make the decision
3) Thank them for the opportunity
4) Ask if there is anything you can do to help ease the transition

+1 and I would add: do it sooner rather than later.

 

[nuagexrose]

You put yourself in this position by not warning them that you were considering leaving. Now you're going to have to bite the bullet and leave your PI angry/disappointed.

Hm, I don't think they'll be angry. After all, I am just an undergrad in the lab. So while I am a useful worker, I want to say that the impact of me leaving won't be so tremendous that they'll be angry... at least I hope not!

 

[positivityrocks]

How far in advance of your leaving date did you tell them?

My school starts in late August, so I guess a little over two months notice. I'm meeting with my supervisor tomorrow though to work out details (hoping I might be able to go to half-time for the last month or two, so that I can take summer classes).

Honestly, it did feel a bit awkward (mostly like I had suddenly become an outsider, despite having close relationships with my coworkers previously). I'm hoping it goes back to normal when the shock wears off. Even if not though, it is a huge relief to have it over and done with, and I can leave with the satisfaction of knowing my departure was professional 🙂

I hope it goes as well for you as it did for me

 

[mcloaf]

Hm, I don't think they'll be angry. After all, I am just an undergrad in the lab. So while I am a useful worker, I want to say that the impact of me leaving won't be so tremendous that they'll be angry... at least I hope not!

Hopefully not.

I just know if I were your PI and I talked with you and planned all these projects I'd be annoyed that you didn't mention anything to me about you leaving. No use stressing about it now though, just be honest and hope for the best.

 

[calvnandhobbs68]

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOiVYbWJDOA[/YOUTUBE]

 

[nuagexrose]

Hopefully not.

I just know if I were your PI and I talked with you and planned all these projects I'd be annoyed that you didn't mention anything to me about you leaving. No use stressing about it now though, just be honest and hope for the best.

Yeah, I definitely see what you mean. I guess a source of comfort for me is that the main projects planned were meant to be completed in the timeframe of this summer. The other future projects that my mentor mentioned were just casual ideas flung about; she just mentioned stuff like "Oh we might want to look into this molecule after this summer," but there was nothing concrete there. Of course, I just feel bad about cutting them short of their time/energy investment into me, but there's really nothing I can do.

 

[AdmAckbar]

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOiVYbWJDOA[/YOUTUBE]

Cya! 😛