Husband and ... Husband Applying Together. Suggestions?

[BHB2008]

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So my husband and partner of 10 years (yes, gay) are applying to medical school next year.

I've read several threads about husband and wife applying together, with some success at receiving joint interviews when notifying the school of their intention of staying together. Haven't seen anyone comment on this situation for a gay couple.

In general, my thoughts are that some schools I wouldn't want to mention it, while others, I think it could even be an asset. But certainly if one of us is accepted and the other waitlisted, we would need to make a decision about writing a letter notifying the adcoms of the situation. Of course, we can just apply broadly and keep our mouths shut and hope for the best . . . but we would also like to be at a school that didn't view our relationship negatively.

FWIW: We're applying to D.O. programs and are fairly competitive candidates, equal, and I'm not concerned about gaining admission individually, just together. Both non-traditional candidates.

Any general input would be appreciated.

 

[keitaiKT]

The medical world tends to be fairly liberal. There were multiple married gay men in my residency program and they talked openly about it in their interviews. One had already gotten divorced and talked about THAT in his interview. No one batted an eyelash and they obviously got in to the program without a problem. So yeah.... go ahead and bring it up, I don't think it would be a negative and would likely be a positive if anything. Feel free to PM me if you want more details on what I've seen.

 

[Goro]

Concur. My caveat is to perhaps avoid those schools in rural settings where the school itself might be welcoming, the local community may not.

Avoid LUCOM like the plague, for obvious reasons!

Good luck.

The medical world tends to be fairly liberal. There were multiple married gay men in my residency program and they talked openly about it in their interviews. One had already gotten divorced and talked about THAT in his interview. No one batted an eyelash and they obviously got in to the program without a problem. So yeah.... go ahead and bring it up, I don't think it would be a negative and would likely be a positive if anything. Feel free to PM me if you want more details on what I've seen.

 

[BHB2008]

Concur. My caveat is to perhaps avoid those schools in rural settings where the school itself might be welcoming, the local community may not.

Avoid LUCOM like the plague, for obvious reasons!

Good luck.

Wow. Thanks for the encouraging input.

LUCOM isn't anywhere on my radar, for more than this reason. ;-)

 

[Goro]

Don't forget to make use of the school-specific threads here on SDN, to get input from actual students at they places you're interested in.

We've never had any incoming spouses as students, whatever the genders. Siblings, many times.

Wow. Thanks for the encouraging input.

LUCOM isn't anywhere on my radar, for more than this reason. ;-)

 

[gyngyn]

There is a couple's match for residency. No such accomodation for medical school, though.
We have one or two couples a year let us know of their desire to stay together. So far none of them have worked out here. It is possible that they get in somewhere else.

 

[Mad Jack]

Avoid LUCOM like the plague, for obvious reasons!

This is solid advice that should be tacked on to any reply.

 

[Rady Ruck]

BHB, that's a really interesting scenario. Good luck! My partner and I live in a metro area that is generally open and tolerant, but the outside towns (and much of the rest of our state) don't tend to see us the same way. Just curious-do you have any children and if so, does that affect where you apply? My family will bearing on where my applications will go, when it's time.

 

[BHB2008]

BHB, that's a really interesting scenario. Good luck! My partner and I live in a metro area that is generally open and tolerant, but the outside towns (and much of the rest of our state) don't tend to see us the same way. Just curious-do you have any children and if so, does that affect where you apply? My family will bearing on where my applications will go, when it's time.

Nope. Fully taking advantage of the gay thing by not having any children.

 

[touchpause13]

I would definitely look into DMU. The school is very gay friendly, and gay marriage is legal here so you wouldn't have to worry about not being seen as husband and husband.

I would also just suggest calling schools that you guys are interested in and asking

 

[Eremba]

I would definitely look into DMU. The school is very gay friendly, and gay marriage is legal here so you wouldn't have to worry about not being seen as husband and husband.

I would also just suggest calling schools that you guys are interested in and asking

This.

 

[C.S. Peirce]

If you're both competitive applicants, apply broadly, and mention that you're a near-guaranteed enrollment if the school admits the two of you, I bet you'll be successful. I can't imagine that any med school (except maybe LU...) would have a problem with you two being gay.

The only advice I'd offer: my partner and I are trying to solve the two body problem with admissions now, and it's rough. The wait and the uncertainty is super stressful. It can be hard when one of you gets an interview at a dream program and the other gets put on hold, or when you both go interview at a school and having wildly different reactions about the program. Begin preparing yourselves now for what you're willing to put up with if the dual-admission scenario doesn't work out (i.e. are you willing to attend schools that are a few hours from each other, or deal with long distance, or have one of you attend school while the other waits, etc.).

 

[BHB2008]

Thanks for the suggestions. DMU is definitely on the list. We're prepared to do whatever it takes to go to med school, but hoping to avoid the worst. Hope you hear good news soon C.S. Peirce.

 

[touchpause13]

Thanks for the suggestions. DMU is definitely on the list. We're prepared to do whatever it takes to go to med school, but hoping to avoid the worst. Hope you hear good news soon C.S. Peirce.

If you guys get an interview at DMU let me know.

 

[Lawgiver]

Awesome!

 

[Mad Jack]

Going to agree with @C.S. Peirce here. Just apply as broadly as possible and chances are good that you'll both get into the same school somewhere. If you end up getting UNECOM II's let me know, I can give you some pointers.