I am losing it...

[LilMiss108]

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I am not sure where it put this, so please more it if it is in the wrong place.

I am a first year medical student, and I did extremely well in classes this first semester. That said, I am extremely nervous about the responsibilities in the coming years. Not just boards and rotations. I am worried that I am not cut out for this profession - that I do not have the emotional strength to deal with sick people every day, that I will miss a critical diagnosis, and that I will just not be able to keep up mentally with those around me. While I am doing well now, I just feel like in a matter of time it is inevitable that i fall apart.

Am I really not meant to do this?

 

[coffeebythelake]

I am not sure where it put this, so please more it if it is in the wrong place.

I am a first year medical student, and I did extremely well in classes this first semester. That said, I am extremely nervous about the responsibilities in the coming years. Not just boards and rotations. I am worried that I am not cut out for this profession - that I do not have the emotional strength to deal with sick people every day, that I will miss a critical diagnosis, and that I will just not be able to keep up mentally with those around me. While I am doing well now, I just feel like in a matter of time it is inevitable that i fall apart.

Am I really not meant to do this?

Maybe you should take a few days to help out at a clinic, practice basic interviewing and physical exam stuff. Its a real confidence booster, and keeps you grounded on what medicine is all about.

 

[smq123]

I am a first year medical student, and I did extremely well in classes this first semester. That said, I am extremely nervous about the responsibilities in the coming years. Not just boards and rotations. I am worried that I am not cut out for this profession - that I do not have the emotional strength to deal with sick people every day, that I will miss a critical diagnosis, and that I will just not be able to keep up mentally with those around me. While I am doing well now, I just feel like in a matter of time it is inevitable that i fall apart.

Am I really not meant to do this?

Having these fears does not mean that you're not cut out to be a doctor. A lot of people have these fears. And it's certainly not inevitable that you will fall apart.

A lot of your fears are kind of in the abstract - maybe you should shadow a doctor for a couple of days. Or volunteer in the ER/ICU for a few weeks during summer break. Talk to attendings and residents - I think you'll find that a lot of them had similar fears when they were in your shoes.

 

[Anka]

There will be times when you will feel like you can't deal with it anymore. You will miss a critical diagnosis. There will be times when you can't keep up mentally with the people around you. Part of the third year of medical school is learning ways to deal with this. You'll watch how your residents and attendings cope, and you'll adopt some of them yourself. You'll probably find, as the old saw goes, "you're not as tough as you act, but tougher than you think you are."

On other days, you'll pick up the critical diagnosis, be the one who knows more than the people around you, and help carry a team mate who just can't take it anymore. On those days don't be a judgemental ass.

Anka

 

[Tired]

Or you'll become like a lot of us, and stop seeing patients as people, just diagnoses. Cold? Maybe. But when you stop caring about them as people (most of the time), you take away the emotional angst that can prevent you from practicing good medicine.

 

[EGNC dr]

Or you'll become like a lot of us, and stop seeing patients as people, just diagnoses. Cold? Maybe. But when you stop caring about them as people (most of the time), you take away the emotional angst that can prevent you from practicing good medicine.

^ KNOCKED one out of the park!!!

 

[MattD]

Yeah the first time you see someone with pretty bad, but weird, pathology, and your first thought is 'hey that's cool' rather than 'oh noes this poor person', you'll feel pretty scummy. But the fact is you can't quote-unquote CARE about every single person you see for the rest of your career or you'll stroke out before you turn 40. You can certainly care in a global sense, but if you attach your emotional wellbeing to every patient, things'll get pretty bad for you.

That said, your concerns about competence I think are shared with most medical students. You'll find as you start seeing patients that, while you certainly don't know everything you need to know yet, you probably know more than you realize you do. Try not to worry too much, you're just in the same boat of insecurity as the rest of us 🙂d

 

[Re3iRtH]

I am not sure where it put this, so please more it if it is in the wrong place.

I am a first year medical student, and I did extremely well in classes this first semester. That said, I am extremely nervous about the responsibilities in the coming years. Not just boards and rotations. I am worried that I am not cut out for this profession - that I do not have the emotional strength to deal with sick people every day, that I will miss a critical diagnosis, and that I will just not be able to keep up mentally with those around me. While I am doing well now, I just feel like in a matter of time it is inevitable that i fall apart.

Am I really not meant to do this?

I'm in a similar situation. I have done very well so far. But they moved
physical exam from 2nd year to 1st. I am not sure if I have the social
skills to make a patient feel comfortable with me just touching them.
I'm more excited about neuro and the rest of biochem. Well, I guess
we'll see in the next few weeks!!

 

[braluk]

I presume that after a while, and as much as it is cynical as it is reality, seeing thousands of patients, you'll quickly become numb to the emotional drain that you might expect from seeing people dying and sick. Not that you won't care, as you want the people you take care of to get better, but your emotions probably wont be affected.

Same goes with war. You might be shocked and traumatized after making your first few kills, but after a while, its eat or be eaten. Everyone gets institutionalized into their careers after a while. Its your duty to make sure that you still maintain your personal connections outside of medicine to keep your sanity

 

[Maxprime]

Ask yourself this - wouldn't you want your doctor to have felt this way at some point?

 

[mm3781]

I felt the same way first year as well, but now I realize that I didn't even have the knowledge base at that time to adequately diagnose anything. Once you go through 2nd year, you will learn 10x as much as you did first year and will be surprised how much you didn't know first year. And then you'll feel like you could do a pretty good job diagnosing a lot of things until third year comes around and some jackass medicine attending makes you feel like a ******* because you didn't look for the patient's diabetes even though you did happen to pick up on a gastric carcinoma the attending missed. The final part of that pertains to the fact you have to do what you are interested in. In my case, I like power tools and pathology which puts me at a pretty good likin' for orthopaedic oncology and a hateful relationship with diabetes. It is interesting to me and I enjoy the challenge it offers. On the other hand, if I had to do general medicine I would miss things because it would bore me to the brink of suicide and would not be a challenge I'd enjoy. Bottom line: you'll learn more and you'll learn what you like and then things will fall into place in some odd strange manner you never thought would happen.

And I'm not knocking general medicine at all, it just doesn't suit my interests.

 

[CptCrunch]

^ KNOCKED one out of the park!!!

Dr. Eugenic back in da hizzouse?

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/member.php?u=107158

 

[alphaholic06]

Dr. Eugenic back in da hizzouse?

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/member.php?u=107158

I was just thinking the same thing.

 

[LilMiss108]

Hey everyone! Thanks for your responses. I really appreciate your understanding and your advice. I guess I will just keep my chin up and take it one day at a time.

 

[MonkeyNuts!]

I am worried that I am not cut out for this profession - that I do not have the emotional strength to deal with sick people every day, that I will miss a critical diagnosis, and that I will just not be able to keep up mentally with those around me. While I am doing well now, I just feel like in a matter of time it is inevitable that i fall apart.

Well that's why we have malpractice insurance.

Nobody's perfect.

Just relax and when Life hands you lemons, throw them back in his face and give him the finger.