I did something really dumb today

[Legion560]

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Man, today was one of those days that I wish I could erase from memory. In the middle of getting chewed out by an attending for something that was pretty trivial and not my fault, I fought fire with fire. I rarely raise my voice at work, especially to an attending but something in me snapped and I contronted this person who was bascially throwing a hissy fit. Even though I didnt drop the f bomb or use insulting words, I wonder if I shot myself in the foot. Im guessing this cant be a good career move- even though this person's opinion doesnt mean diddly squat. But seriously, after eating big steaming piles of poo all year from my program and being barked at by this lunatic I lost my cool. I am still pissed!😡 Mostly at myself for stooping to this person's level. Arrrgh!

Legion

 

[Legion560]

Actually, about that diddly squat statement above-after reading the abusive/vindictive attending thread below Im wondering if I f-ed myself in the ass by standing up to this mo-fo.

Legion

 

[ocean4]

Hi legion, I am going to give my opinion with the disclaimer that 1.I am not a doctor ii. I cannot guess how this will affect you. iii. I am having my own set of problems.Ok here goes.

All year the pressure has been building, and you let some steam off, not the
best of things to do, BUT every human is a like a pot, and if you keep filling it with water, eventually its going to boil over.

What I suggest is, go to the director medicine ( or whatever you are in ), set up a time with him or her, and explain your situation to him and expalain your fears. Hopefully, your goal is to get reassurance that either his opinion will not count in and clinical/resident review or that his opinion will be one of many. But I encourage you to set a time with the director no matter what (assuming he is not the busom buddy of the guy who screamed at you). If you have some reassurance that things are going to be ok, psychologically you will be able to do a better job.

 

[MBK2003]

Having been in your situation with a resident but not an attending, I recommend directly apologizing for your "unprofessional behavior" and attributing your poor impulse control to sleep deprivation. Finally, end with "I hope that you can look past this incident as we continue to work together for the next __ weeks." It's not career suicide if you can acknowledge, apologize, and make amends ("the 3 A's" from our risk management training). Good luck!

MBK2003

 

[tibor75]

Man, today was one of those days that I wish I could erase from memory. In the middle of getting chewed out by an attending for something that was pretty trivial and not my fault, I fought fire with fire. I rarely raise my voice at work, especially to an attending but something in me snapped and I contronted this person who was bascially throwing a hissy fit. Even though I didnt drop the f bomb or use insulting words, I wonder if I shot myself in the foot. Im guessing this cant be a good career move- even though this person's opinion doesnt mean diddly squat. But seriously, after eating big steaming piles of poo all year from my program and being barked at by this lunatic I lost my cool. I am still pissed!😡 Mostly at myself for stooping to this person's level. Arrrgh!

Legion

have fun finishing your residency in the Caribbean

 

[rpkall]

I think it depends on who was right. You or the attending. 😉

But seriously...

It's always unprofessional to do that stuff in a health care environment, but sometimes people need to hear how their pathologic behavior is making other members of the team feel. I like the apology for the unprofessional behavior, mentioned above, but I don't think you have to concede your point about whatever it is you were saying/yelling. Hospitals are real world environments too, even if they are extensions of med school in a way. In the real world, sometimes people need a reality check every now and then.

Even though the respect-your-teachers thing is in the hippocratic oath, it's also assumed that professors should treat their students like human beings, not garbage (or as you put it, "poo"). 😉

 

[NinerNiner999]

Yeah - that was dumb. Send the attending an email apologizing for losing your cool and hope for the best. Follow up with this attending in person. Part (most) of residency in academic medicine is learning how to get your work done while enduring an unfair amount of abuse. Just do your best to get out alive...

 

[PediBoneDoc]

Having been in your situation with a resident but not an attending, I recommend directly apologizing for your "unprofessional behavior" and attributing your poor impulse control to sleep deprivation. Finally, end with "I hope that you can look past this incident as we continue to work together for the next __ weeks." It's not career suicide if you can acknowledge, apologize, and make amends ("the 3 A's" from our risk management training). Good luck!

MBK2003

as much as people like to say medicine is not like the real world, it really is like the real world. the difference is that your future is tied to the training. people are a$$es in every field. so there is no excuse for people not acting civilized.

that being said, what do you in a situation like this? MBK2003 has hit it right on the head. first you must remeber that every bad situation that you have been in has one thing in common, you. so first look at what your role in this incident was. then you do MBK2003's 3 A's. it is not about saying sorry, it is about taking ownership of your part in the incident. don't worry if they don't say sorry as well, that is their problem.

i have found that avoiding ths situation makes thins worse over time. do it in person. email is documentation of the event that you may not want to admit to and in person it is a little harder for people for be fake.

 

[NinerNiner999]

Documenting an apology via email shows insight, professionalism, and your attempt to address your mistake and make amends. Follow the email in person.

 

[Gem134]

I go with the 'in-person' version here. Sometimes seeing the person face to face, as you carefully speak your well-phrased apology can be important. You get to see their reaction, they get to see your submissive body language, etc. I like Niner's email and in-person, too.

I also like the "I was overly tired, but that is no excuse, etc" line. When I think these comments through in my head beforehand, then when I actually say them I really feel the emotion behind them. "What is my motivation?" you might ask yourself, like any good actor. My motivation is to keep my current spot and to move on my terms, not because I now have a new enemy. I hate the poo we all have to eat, but I am not ready to walk away from medicine (just yet).

Good luck! 👍

 

[Mirror Form]

Documenting an apology via email shows insight, professionalism, and your attempt to address your mistake and make amends. Follow the email in person.

This good advice. Try to make the email sound as sincere as you possibley can. It's really up to the malignant attending to decide if any serious consquences will come of this incident.

Keep in mind that the email could be used against you. Regardless, you're probably better off taking full blame and kissing your attending's butt like mad from here on out. Residency is no place to have any kind of ego. Once you're an attending you'll be able to speak your mind, but now you're in a very vulnerable position.

 

[PediBoneDoc]

Keep in mind that the email could be used against you. Regardless, you're probably better off taking full blame and kissing your attending's butt like mad from here on out. Residency is no place to have any kind of ego. Once you're an attending you'll be able to speak your mind, but now you're in a very vulnerable position.

one of the reasons i would recommend just doing it in person.

although the email will be done in a professional way, depending on the attending's generation s/he may not be as accepting of the email as a forum for dealing with grievances; it may also be viewed as the cowards route. that is a judgment call. it does document your part in it, and as stated by mirror, could be used against you. so, use your own judgment.

 

[werewethere]

I agree, no documentation is the best documentation in this case. A mea culpa is perfectly fine IF the episode has made a lasting impression on your attending, but don't make the apology in a permanent medium. If it can be used against you, it will be used against you. Good luck!