I don't believe in myself.

[premedshow]

I know this is a forum for MCAT prep and strategies.

But my problem is more psyhcological. I am a 25-year-old non-traditional pre-med student. I got my undergraduate degree in sociology and then did a post-bac pre-med program in which I took the four core courses.

I finished that program back in December 2007. But since then, I haven't been able to gather up the courage to take the MCAT. No matter how hard I try, I just get intimidated by this beast of a test and I convince myself that I can't do it.

I did very well as an undergrad student (3.4 GPA) and I did even better in the post-bac program (3.6 GPA). The only thing that stands between me and medical school is the MCAT. But I just can't study for the damn thing.

Here comes my sob story: I was bullied by my parents since a very young age. They have always been extremely perfectionist to the point where bringing home a grade of a B+ warranted arguments and fights. Because I had such a hard-time dealing with my parents, I became socially awkward. With no self-pity invoked, I can objectively say that I am somewhat of a loser. I have always tried to live up to my parents' standards but they have never been pleased with me. Even at this older age, I still invest so much of how I feel about myself in my parents' attitude towards me. I don't know why. I don't know how. It just is. Now it seems like after all of the work I put in the post-bac program, all of the things that I have been through with my parents and being picked on just decided to hit me at this point and make me feel inadequate enough to do well on the MCAT.

A short while ago, my father called me a loser and said that "people like me" (as in deviant children who are disrespectful of their parents) can never do well on the MCAT. He then compared me to others I knew who are so much younger than me and are almost residents. He told me I would fail the MCAT since I am a loser and he has convinced me of failure. I fear taking the MCAT and not scoring higher than a 35.

I don't know if I can do this. I just want to pick up my review books so badly and just study the hell out of this exam and beat it but I fear failure so much that I give up after reading the first page of the first chapter of any review book.

Can someone please give me some advice on what I can do to oversome this mental/psychological block? Please, if you are going to say that I am seeking sympathy with my sob story and just say anything that would perpetuate how low I feel right now, just keep your thoughts in your mind. I really want to score close to a 40 on this exam but I don't think I can get higher than a 25 given that my diagnostic resulted in a 17. Mind you, I haven't touched the material of the MCAT since December of 2007 and have forgotten much of it, and I am guessing that this is what led to me low diag score.

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[AG22]

Hey, there...

do you still live with your parents? Do you have a job of your own? I think your best bet may be to move out, fund yourself...and remember that once you build up your own confidence, you WILL do well on the mcat.

If this is not possible at the moment...seriously look into an alternate career path (for the short term). This way, you can stand on your own two feet and then gain some much needed confidence and INDEPENDENCE. THEN, you will be ready to tackle the mcat.

When I started studying for my retake, I was really afraid of failure too. But you will never know until you try. You must give it a go...and if you so desire, don't tell your family, or your friends. Keep it to yourself, and use this forum as a motivational tool. WHenever I stopped studying, I'd visit this forum and then flip out knowing that everyone else was studying hard core, while I was just moping around trying to find excuses NOT to study.

And may I also suggest some self-help books? Check those out. I know there is a stigma associated with them, but you know what? I don't give a damn...I LOVE those books. They're really good motivators and work wonders for your self esteem. And you need to want to do this not only for yourself, but also because you believe that you have something to offer, and that you would like to make a difference.

The best advice I ever received was to "stop navel gazing...and get out there to help people." When you volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter and see ppl less fortunate than you, it puts things into perspective and gives you a drive to achieve.

GL 👍

 

[ratatat]

I agree with AG, maybe try to move-out if you currently live with your parents. Also, try to find a study group with people who will have confidence in you and not bring you down.

One more thing, it's not about who becomes a resident or doctor at the youngest age, but who can do their job (whether as a doc' or anything else) well.

 

[elusiveCHILD]

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger..

Life is tough and its unfortunate you had to go through all that but don't let your past experiences or present experiences get in your way of achieving your dreams. We only have ONE shot at life.. why not take risks and give 100% wholeheartedly. I know you will do well on the MCAT, you need to believe it as well. It's all a mental game. I suggest watching/ reading, " The Secret" it helped a lot. Just stay positive and you're in my prayers.

Stay encouraged 🙂

Remember you will become, Dr._____________________________ ( the ball is in your court)

 

[bamagurl14]

Um....can I say...EVIL parents?

Don't think of the MCAT as an obstacle, but rather an opportunity (haha, u can tell I was trained by Kaplan)

How you will perform on it doesn't depend on what others think, but on how much effort and confidence you are willing to put in from day 1 of MCAT prep to Test Day. If this is your ultimate dream, you shouldn't let anything stand in the way, because in the end, you will thank yourself for pushing it all the way through instead of living in remorse knowing that you have failed yourself simply because of that temporary feeling of wanting to give up.

Bottom line is: anyone is capable of doing well and getting their desired score on the MCAT, as long as they keep trying.

 

[da Vincis World]

First of all, less than 1% of test takers make a 40....you do not need anything near a 40 to be successful in medical school. In fact there are plenty of successful physicians that made a 25 or less. I know that reading posts here on SDN will make you think that most people make a 35 on their MCAT but this is just not true....so don't base your success on getting a score near 40.

Also, don't worry about that diagnostic score, had I taken a diag it would have likely been lower than that and I was able to break 30. A more accurate gauge would be to do some content review and then take an AAMC full length practice test and then repeat until you are consistantly hitting your goal score (which doesn't need to be 40).

Lastly, getting into medical school, your goal, is a lot more than an MCAT score so make sure everything else is great with your app, take the MCAT, and apply. Your parents don't even need to know that you are taking the MCAT or applying to med school for that matter.

Good Luck....you'll be fine.

 

[Terpskins99]

Ever watch a Nike commercial? Just do it.

Don't waste time thinking about why you should or shouldn't start studying for the MCAT. Don't think about why you might succeed or fail. There is no failure on the MCAT. There is only YOUR score. So just start studying.

1. Buy a test booklet.
2. Do a block of questions while timing yourself.
3. Review the answers.
4. Keep a tally of the subjects you are repeatedly testing weak in.
5. Take time out to review those subjects.
6. Repeat steps 1-5 over and over and over again.

The key to getting out of a funk when it comes to studying and drilling for the MCATs... is to START STUDYING AND DRILLING. Don't worry about whether you're studying right, or if you're in the right frame of mind.

When you get into medical school, you have to always prepare yourself to get into this frame of mind, no matter what is going on in your life... the next exam is always just right around the corner and it isn't going to wait for you to feel ready for it. The sooner you can adapt this mindset, the better off you'll be.

 

[PiBond]

I've been a camp counselor, mentor, and teacher so I'm all about motivational stuff. I recommend reading "The Greatest Salesman in the World". It will change your life, I promise. It contains some of the most important truths and has helped me overcome a lot--just make sure to only read one scroll per week 🙂 If you get finished with that book, read "The Greatest Miracle in the World". Both are by Og Mandino

About the MCAT, set goal periods that are reasonable and attainable. By accomplishing small things at first (ie just reading the first 2 chapters in physical science in a week) you will build your confidence to start studying more aggressively. Convince yourself that it's a blessing you get to do this--embark on the journey to become a doctor. It's about making yourself believe that you are the master of your emotions and that you have the attitude (and aptitude) to succeed. Carpe diem

 

[BerkReviewTeach]

But my problem is more psyhcological. I am a 25-year-old non-traditional pre-med student. I got my undergraduate degree in sociology and then did a post-bac pre-med program in which I took the four core courses.

...since then, I haven't been able to gather up the courage to take the MCAT. No matter how hard I try, I just get intimidated by this beast of a test and I convince myself that I can't do it.

I did very well as an undergrad student (3.4 GPA) and I did even better in the post-bac program (3.6 GPA). The only thing that stands between me and medical school is the MCAT. But I just can't study for the damn thing.

Here comes my sob story: I was bullied by my parents since a very young age. They have always been extremely perfectionist to the point where bringing home a grade of a B+ warranted arguments and fights. Because I had such a hard-time dealing with my parents, I became socially awkward. With no self-pity invoked, I can objectively say that I am somewhat of a loser. I have always tried to live up to my parents' standards but they have never been pleased with me. Even at this older age, I still invest so much of how I feel about myself in my parents' attitude towards me. I don't know why. I don't know how. It just is. Now it seems like after all of the work I put in the post-bac program, all of the things that I have been through with my parents and being picked on just decided to hit me at this point and make me feel inadequate enough to do well on the MCAT.

A short while ago, my father called me a loser and said that "people like me" (as in deviant children who are disrespectful of their parents) can never do well on the MCAT. He then compared me to others I knew who are so much younger than me and are almost residents. He told me I would fail the MCAT since I am a loser and he has convinced me of failure. I fear taking the MCAT and not scoring higher than a 35.

I don't know if I can do this. I just want to pick up my review books so badly and just study the hell out of this exam and beat it but I fear failure so much that I give up after reading the first page of the first chapter of any review book.

Can someone please give me some advice on what I can do to oversome this mental/psychological block? Please, if you are going to say that I am seeking sympathy with my sob story and just say anything that would perpetuate how low I feel right now, just keep your thoughts in your mind. I really want to score close to a 40 on this exam but I don't think I can get higher than a 25 given that my diagnostic resulted in a 17. Mind you, I haven't touched the material of the MCAT since December of 2007 and have forgotten much of it, and I am guessing that this is what led to me low diag score.

Before reading on, look back at the color in this quote. The red coloring represents positive things you said about yourself. The blue coloring represents negative things you said about yourself. Not to overdo a pun, but don't be so blue. You, and you alone, have to make the quote mostly red in color.

Doing well on the MCAT, like anything in life, starts with a core belief that you can and will do well. Confidence is key and you are wise to recognize that you must deal with that first before going after the MCAT. But the tough question here is how to build that confidence.

Perhaps a good spot to start is by declaring that you, and you alone are responsible for your life. Others have an impact, no doubt about it. But in the end, it comes down to personal responsibility. When you apply to medical school it will be on your merits, and not those of your parents.

I'm a couple years older than you, and have battled parental disappointment as well. I actually lost my father quite a while ago, but my step-father is the one without a clue who sometimes gets my ire up. As cruel as this may sound, one day he'll be gone and his opinion won't be given. The trick is realizing that it really doesn't matter now. Insights are great, but cruel opinions are often given not to help the recipient but more so to masochistically allow the sender to beat up the sender and receiver both. The things your dad says to you are no doubt things he is somewhat saying to himself. Let it go.

So about the MCAT. The beauty about the test is that whether you are the suavest guy in the local bar or a complete introvert who's only quality friend is his shadow, it doesn't matter. It comes down to how well you know the material, how quickly you think your way through the questions and apply logic, and lastly how well you know how to take the exam. Your social status doesn't play a role in how well you'll do. In fact, if you really are as socially awkward as you are claiming, you might have more study time and thus be at an advantage.

Forget about the diagnostic test, because there is no such thing. There is no way to simulate the real MCAT and get an accurate measure of how you'll do. Most diagnostic tests are useless and don't give an accurate measure of how you'd really do. Try one of the AAMC exams if you want to get as close a measure as you possbily can, but realize that your first exam is a learning experience and not a diagnostic experience. SN2ed wrote a great expose on the worhtlessness of diagnostic exams that you should consider.

You can do well on this exam, because you couldn't have gotten a 3.6 without knowing the material and how to take an exam. Be careful not to set 40 as a goal, because quite honestly, anything 36 and above is about the same statistically on the curve. It would be a damn shame to get a 35 and be disappointed. Your goal is to get into medical school, not to achieve a numerical goal that you have assigned a personal esteem value to.

And keep in mind, it's a test and nothing more. Get as many questions right as quickly as you can using as much intuition as you can. You will do fine on this exam when you finally decide you're worthwhile enough to take it.

 

[mcatdesperate]

A short while ago, my father called me a loser and said that "people like me" (as in deviant children who are disrespectful of their parents) can never do well on the MCAT. He then compared me to others I knew who are so much younger than me and are almost residents. He told me I would fail the MCAT since I am a loser and he has convinced me of failure. I fear taking the MCAT and not scoring higher than a 35.

.

Wow- what a jerk. Any parent who talks to their son/daughter like that is a horrible person.

Forget everything your parents are saying to you- it is complete nonsense.

You can and will do very will on the mcat..just take lots of practice tests.
If you take 15+ practice tests (8 aamc ones plus 6 from Numerous other available sources such as princeton, kaplan, berkeley review, examkrackers, gold standard) you should be well into the 30s.

Also you might get low scores on your first few practice tests but that is 100% normal and happens
to everyone (I had 17 total out of 45 on my first test). But your score will increase significantly
if you take like 15 tests or so. I haven't taken it yet but that's what I learned from SDN.

 

[ratatat]

Wow- what a jerk. Any parent who talks to their son/daughter like that is a horrible person.

Forget everything your parents are saying to you- it is complete nonsense.

You can and will do very will on the mcat..just take lots of practice tests.
If you take 15+ practice tests (8 aamc ones plus 6 from Numerous other available sources such as princeton, kaplan, berkeley review, examkrackers, gold standard) you should be well into the 30s.

Also you might get low scores on your first few practice tests but that is 100% normal and happens
to everyone (I had 17 total out of 45 on my first test). But your score will increase significantly
if you take like 15 tests or so. I haven't taken it yet but that's what I learned from SDN.

I agree. When I first started takings tests and 30-min exams (from Examkrackers) I wasn't scoring too well. It gets better as you get used to the types of questions the MCAT throws at you. Also, like another person said, a 40 is definitely not necessary to get into med school.

Good luck man, and you can definitely do it...

 

[JClass413]

Dude i got a 13 on my diagnostic!! 6BS, 4PS, 3VR!! on my took kaplan course averaging 27, with 30 as my highest score. 11BS, 10, PS, 9VR. Highly recommend Kaplan and dedication of a whole summer! Still waiting on real MCAT score to come in, but I'm confident taking 15 practice exams

 

[J ROD]

Simply, you have to believe in yourself before others will.

Forget them all! And I would advise getting away from your parents as much as possible. You dont need that negativity around you.


Medicine is not for mentally weak people. So, suck it up and get it done! Man up!!! And slap the $hit out of your dad when he speaks such words...I remember when I was like you although not as low. Pick yourself up and become a man. You will like yourself much better.....🙂

 

[BerkReviewTeach]

Simply, you have to believe in yourself before others will.

Forget them all! And I would advise getting away from your parents as much as possible. You dont need that negativity around you.


Medicine is not for mentally weak people. So, suck it up and get it done! Man up!!! And slap the $hit out of your dad when he speaks such words...I remember when I was like you although not as low. Pick yourself up and become a man. You will like yourself much better.....🙂

I'm really glad you weighed in here, because you always give succinct, insightful points. And I couldn't agree more, except I'd takes about ten more paragraphs to say the same thing.

 

[EgyptianDoc]

If medicine is your calling and the only thing that will give your life fulfillment, buckle down and take control of your life. All of us here are strangers to you and we have faith in you! Have some faith in yourself! Someone like you with your life experiences has the potential to make a compassionate doctor. The world needs more people like you in medicine. It all starts with confidence! Feel free to PM me if you need to vent or need advice. I would love to help you get through this slump you're in.

PS- you don't need a 40 on the MCAT to get into medical school. Study, study, study! and whatever happens happens. You will get in somewhere! Never give up!

 

[phEight]

Though all your life you've been accustomed to viewing yourself as the labels other have put on you, it's time to now to realize this is a disillusioned reality you've created for yourself. The sooner you realize that you are what you make of yourself and not what others have made you out to be, you will break free from the trauma that has built up all these years. You are not what your parents labeled you as. The fact that you feel so low seems to tell me you have mistaken this unfortunate illusion put forth by your parents for reality.

Some will say do things out of revenge and spite, to prove them wrong, but this is not motivation founded on sound reasoning, nor is it healthy motivation. If this is something that you want, you owe it to yourself to accomplish it. 15-20 years from now, will you want to tell yourself you didn't get into medical school because you didn't believe in yourself cause of what your parents told you?

It's time to move forward.

 

[Emerald84]

I have to say that I am pleased with the warm response you have gathered. If nothing else, this forum is here to support you.

It sounds, like someone else has suggested, that this experience with your parents has been traumatic and abusive. I did not see this as a sob story, surprised? You are worth the investment in doing well in this process. Take it from a "recovering" Sociology major.

I think studying Sociology you have a unique opportunity to study some of these family and social dynamics as well as health care from something of a distance. We are taught to analyze, disect and observe from a distance.

What a wonderful time for you to feel totally supported and get encouragement to move forward with this. I think there are many practical approaches outlined here such as obtaining independence, which I think is a good first move. I would also recommend some counseling to assist you in building some good boundaries with your family (it addition to the recommendation for self help books). These are boundaries that will do doubt be helpful in your career as a physician.

Most importantly, you need to believe that you totally deserve this and will do wonderfully. Take care of yourself and wait until you are out of the house, build some independence and self esteem regarding moving forward with the important things in your life. We are all here for you, ok!

 

[texahn]

hey f*ck what everyone else says here.
get that 40. not to show up your parents but to prove to yourself your own perceived worth.