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Mar 21, 2021
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I can't believe I feel this way, but...I'm currently an OMS I non-trad student. I repeated first year and have failed a course in repeat year so I'm on my last chance. I've always been that person who is resilient and doesn't give up-- I did 3 extra years of college to get the sGPA I needed and did everything I could think of to get into medical school but I feel like I can't do this anymore. Failure after failure is killing me and I know my odds of matching in anything are now greatly reduced. If I quit though I'll be a late 20's y/o with literally nothing to show for my life except an insane amount of school. Yes I am getting treatment for depression,etc but I never thought I'd ever have 2nd thoughts about med school. I just feel like if I don't do everything I can to succeed I'm the ultimate failure but when do you know when it's time to walk away? I could see myself doing something in psychology but really I can't afford anymore school if I leave med school. I feel so alone and ashamed for what I've done with the incredible opportunity I was given.
 
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I can't believe I feel this way, but...I'm currently an OMS I non-trad student. I repeated first year and have failed a course in repeat year so I'm on my last chance. I've always been that person who is resilient and doesn't give up-- I did 3 extra years of college to get the sGPA I needed and did everything I could think of to get into medical school but I feel like I can't do this anymore. Failure after failure is killing me and I know my odds of matching in anything are now greatly reduced. If I quit though I'll be a late 20's y/o with literally nothing to show for my life except an insane amount of school. Yes I am getting treatment for depression,etc but I never thought I'd ever have 2nd thoughts about med school. I just feel like if I don't do everything I can to succeed I'm the ultimate failure but when do you know when it's time to walk away? I could see myself doing something in psychology but really I can't afford anymore school if I leave med school. I feel so alone and ashamed for what I've done with the incredible opportunity I was given.
Let's talk about your study strategy, and your mindset. What are you doing that you think might or might not be working for you in school? Are you seeking out tutoring, academic support, had learning disability testing, etc? You were accepted to medical school, which means you are capable of getting through!
 
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Redpancreas

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I can't believe I feel this way, but...I'm currently an OMS I non-trad student. I repeated first year and have failed a course in repeat year so I'm on my last chance. I've always been that person who is resilient and doesn't give up-- I did 3 extra years of college to get the sGPA I needed and did everything I could think of to get into medical school but I feel like I can't do this anymore. Failure after failure is killing me and I know my odds of matching in anything are now greatly reduced. If I quit though I'll be a late 20's y/o with literally nothing to show for my life except an insane amount of school. Yes I am getting treatment for depression,etc but I never thought I'd ever have 2nd thoughts about med school. I just feel like if I don't do everything I can to succeed I'm the ultimate failure but when do you know when it's time to walk away? I could see myself doing something in psychology but really I can't afford anymore school if I leave med school. I feel so alone and ashamed for what I've done with the incredible opportunity I was given.
Give it all you got OP. There's still that chance. In terms of depression, it could be that the depression is secondary to your performance, etc. and not to blame for your performance. If you feel that's the case, continue what your depression support team has recommendations but tweaks in therapy are unlikely to change the outcome.

Worry about the odds of matching if you get past this.

Regarding quitting now...I suppose the only thing worse than quitting now assuming you fail another block soon is progressing to OMS-II and failing something else and wasting another year with more loan money to pay off. I know how it feels to feel like a failure. Ultimately you have to take personal accountability for the failure and do what financially makes sense. At this point, if you end up walking away from medicine I would not recommend another healthcare doctorate/professional field unless registered nursing appeals to you. It just doesn't make sense. Psychology is a 5 year PhD + 1 year of internship and not really an impressive salary afterwards. I would recommend enrolling in some computer-related courses or frankly whatever you knew you enjoyed. Engineering/Computer Science fields will pay but they often require a lot of training/technical knowledge. Honestly, you should find something you enjoy even if it pays less at this point and keep your eyes open to an upgrade.
 
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Goro

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I can't believe I feel this way, but...I'm currently an OMS I non-trad student. I repeated first year and have failed a course in repeat year so I'm on my last chance. I've always been that person who is resilient and doesn't give up-- I did 3 extra years of college to get the sGPA I needed and did everything I could think of to get into medical school but I feel like I can't do this anymore. Failure after failure is killing me and I know my odds of matching in anything are now greatly reduced. If I quit though I'll be a late 20's y/o with literally nothing to show for my life except an insane amount of school. Yes I am getting treatment for depression,etc but I never thought I'd ever have 2nd thoughts about med school. I just feel like if I don't do everything I can to succeed I'm the ultimate failure but when do you know when it's time to walk away? I could see myself doing something in psychology but really I can't afford anymore school if I leave med school. I feel so alone and ashamed for what I've done with the incredible opportunity I was given.
Time for an LOA. Go and heal, and then come back stronger. You're not the first student that this has happened to.
 
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recycledpaper

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I would just leave medicine. If you are failing classes, taking three years to get a certain sGAP, etc, then boards will be tough for you. Residency is also a bit harder than med school and you have those boards to take as well.

If you fail another class, I would cut your losses and look into other fields. The road gets harder, not easier. Be honest with yourself with that you are capable of doing intellectually and try to find something else that is rewarding for you to do. I've said this time and time again, tech is where medicine was at many years ago. You work hard but you are compensated very well.
 
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sharpy

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I can't believe I feel this way, but...I'm currently an OMS I non-trad student. I repeated first year and have failed a course in repeat year so I'm on my last chance. I've always been that person who is resilient and doesn't give up-- I did 3 extra years of college to get the sGPA I needed and did everything I could think of to get into medical school but I feel like I can't do this anymore. Failure after failure is killing me and I know my odds of matching in anything are now greatly reduced. If I quit though I'll be a late 20's y/o with literally nothing to show for my life except an insane amount of school. Yes I am getting treatment for depression,etc but I never thought I'd ever have 2nd thoughts about med school. I just feel like if I don't do everything I can to succeed I'm the ultimate failure but when do you know when it's time to walk away? I could see myself doing something in psychology but really I can't afford anymore school if I leave med school. I feel so alone and ashamed for what I've done with the incredible opportunity I was given.
I have been in your exact shoes. I got in as a non-trad. Failed a course in MS-II, failed the repeated course, and failed again. I transferred all my credits to an offshore school and sat for step 1 and failed. It's been about 10 years since all of this and I have a few insights from hindsight.

1. It's not the end of the world. If you decide to leave school, look into jobs as a Medical Science Liaison (salary >100k). Clinical Research Associate (Salary </= 100k) or Clinical Trial Manager (Salary >100k).
2. If you like the knowledge but are worried you won't match. It is far better to have a medical degree and not practice than to have years of education with no degree. With a degree, you can get a job in Pharma research or device sales as a Clinical Director. You can teach at a university, or work remotely as a Senior Medical Writer. The degree is valuable regardless of licensure to practice medicine. I wish I had a degree rather than having to explain 4 years of education/job gap to every potential employer.
2b. With the above in mind, drop the "is it worth it" mindset because you're subconsciously sabotaging your study efforts. If you decide to finish your degree, it IS worth it because you will have a degree! If you don't match, you will still have a degree and can get a much better job than without one. Rather than focusing on matching, focus on doing your best one day at a time. Because at the end of the road, you'll have a degree and that's far more valuable than not having one.
3. Be honest with yourself about depression/anxiety management. Are you really feeling your best? Medical school is really hard emotionally. It's isolating. The intense competition and constant fear for future residency match is anxiety provoking. Get your depression under control before making a decision to leave. Looking back, It was my severe depression and anxiety that crippled my ability to study effectively and pass that one class. When I was in school I was convinced my depression/anxiety wasn't that bad, but now I see how bad it was.
4. If your school will allow it, take a leave of absence before repeating again. Use the time to reset, get fresh air, change your scenery, get a short term job in an unrelated field, take your mind off school, tend to your mental health. Go back to that repeated coursework after a year with fresh eyes and a renewed purpose.

I wish you all the best. Remember it will be ok, no matter what happens.
 
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BorntobeDO?

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I can't believe I feel this way, but...I'm currently an OMS I non-trad student. I repeated first year and have failed a course in repeat year so I'm on my last chance. I've always been that person who is resilient and doesn't give up-- I did 3 extra years of college to get the sGPA I needed and did everything I could think of to get into medical school but I feel like I can't do this anymore. Failure after failure is killing me and I know my odds of matching in anything are now greatly reduced. If I quit though I'll be a late 20's y/o with literally nothing to show for my life except an insane amount of school. Yes I am getting treatment for depression,etc but I never thought I'd ever have 2nd thoughts about med school. I just feel like if I don't do everything I can to succeed I'm the ultimate failure but when do you know when it's time to walk away? I could see myself doing something in psychology but really I can't afford anymore school if I leave med school. I feel so alone and ashamed for what I've done with the incredible opportunity I was given.
Your not a quitter just because you try and fail. Quitters never even try. That said your not out yet. You have to decide if the course is worth it. There are many other ways to help people and make money other than being a physician.
 
Sep 17, 2019
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Take a LOA. Tend to your mental health. Once you feel better, THEN decide whether you want to continue pursuing medicine. I've been in your shoes, and I'd strongly advise against making any permanent decision when you're feeling down and are in the "is it worth it" mindset.
 
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It doesn't have to take a while... I was depressed and just after a couple months of work, I came out feeling great and during my repeat year, I received above average grades in most classes. Just ensure you're "putting in the work" & by work, I mean psychological work. Get a therapist, force yourself to talk out problems/ thoughts. Get on meds if necessary. Start working out regularly, getting sunshine, do some self therapy by writing in a journal, writing 3 things that make you happy daily, write out your goals, strengthen your support system, get into a strong self care routine, etc. etc. Also, go to academic counseling and figure out how to study effectively! Find out about the evidence based most efficient study resources such as anki + practice questions

In life, you WILL fall down and have many moments where you're struggling. What matters is how you get back up. Learning how to get back up will teach you resilience throughout your life. Today, I look back on my many failures and am so proud of how I turned it around. I'm confident this feeling of resilience will carry me through many struggles in life.

Just a couple of weeks of sleep and not having the heavy burden of med school can really take you out of the cloudy emotional mindset we sometimes get stuck in. OP, you got this! OP, don't let people discourage you. You're only in your 20s... that's not that old at all! Make a decision when your head is clear. If you decide then that quitting is the best decision for you, then okay. But don't make that decision in the thick of emotions.

If I had just quit when I was down & failing, then I would've carried that failure with me my entire life. Not saying that you will do that, but I know it would've affected me.
 
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sharpy

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It doesn't have to take a while... I was depressed and just after a couple months of work, I came out feeling great and during my repeat year, I received above average grades in most classes. Just ensure you're "putting in the work" & by work, I mean psychological work. Get a therapist, force yourself to talk out problems/ thoughts. Get on meds if necessary. Start working out regularly, getting sunshine, do some self therapy by writing in a journal, writing 3 things that make you happy daily, write out your goals, strengthen your support system, get into a strong self care routine, etc. etc. Also, go to academic counseling and figure out how to study effectively! Find out about the evidence based most efficient study resources such as anki + practice questions

In life, you WILL fall down and have many moments where you're struggling. What matters is how you get back up. Learning how to get back up will teach you resilience throughout your life. Today, I look back on my many failures and am so proud of how I turned it around. I'm confident this feeling of resilience will carry me through many struggles in life.

Just a couple of weeks of sleep and not having the heavy burden of med school can really take you out of the cloudy emotional mindset we sometimes get stuck in. OP, you got this! OP, don't let people discourage you. You're only in your 20s... that's not that old at all! Make a decision when your head is clear. If you decide then that quitting is the best decision for you, then okay. But don't make that decision in the thick of emotions.

If I had just quit when I was down & failing, then I would've carried that failure with me my entire life. Not saying that you will do that, but I know it would've affected me.
This. All of this. 👏
 

El-Rami

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If you are worried about maxing out loans, keep in mind that Grad PLUS loans don't have an aggregate limit (i.e., they are infinite) and you can borrow up to the full cost of attendance. Despite common belief, it can actually make more sense to go a little deeper in debt for a lucrative career. You don't have to become a high school teacher or anything...

If you drop out, there are options. There are options that are probably better than being a physician. There are quite a few career tracks within the healthcare industry that pay six figures and don't necessarily entail several more years of training with the cost of the degree not being terribly expensive.

If you would like to talk in private about it, I would be glad to give you some guidance. SDN is pretty hit-or-miss when it comes to this kind of thing if you do decide to leave medical school.
 
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Dave1980

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I can't believe I feel this way, but...I'm currently an OMS I non-trad student. I repeated first year and have failed a course in repeat year so I'm on my last chance. I've always been that person who is resilient and doesn't give up-- I did 3 extra years of college to get the sGPA I needed and did everything I could think of to get into medical school but I feel like I can't do this anymore. Failure after failure is killing me and I know my odds of matching in anything are now greatly reduced. If I quit though I'll be a late 20's y/o with literally nothing to show for my life except an insane amount of school. Yes I am getting treatment for depression,etc but I never thought I'd ever have 2nd thoughts about med school. I just feel like if I don't do everything I can to succeed I'm the ultimate failure but when do you know when it's time to walk away? I could see myself doing something in psychology but really I can't afford anymore school if I leave med school. I feel so alone and ashamed for what I've done with the incredible opportunity I was given.
You've gotten past the hardest part of becoming a doctor in America which is getting into med school.

Time for an LOA if they will allow it otherwise you need to find a way to do better and get through it.
 
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Dave1980

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Can doctors stop making this BS type of statement? Passing all those board exams and completing residency/fellowship is no walk in the park. OP can decide medicine isn't for them and shouldn't feel pressured to continue because getting in was the "hardest part."

I say this as someone whose about to graduate and already matched.
Interesting. I say this as someone who has graduated and matched. And did internship. And did residency. And did fellowship. Now working as an Attending.
 
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Candidate2017

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You've gotten past the hardest part of becoming a doctor in America which is getting into med school.
Statistically, yes. Based on low med school acceptance rates.
Technically, yes. Based on high Step/Comlex pass rates and high graduation rates.

But the road doesn't end with the attainment of a medical degree. Residency is the hardest part in the journey from med school school acceptance to fully trained/board eligible physician. All responsibility, no authority. Dealing with underlings, seniors, staff, attendings, program directors. Matter of fact, actual patient care, outside of intern year, is probably the least hardest part of residency.
 
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