I feel insecure and afraid of moving away

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DoctorRx1986

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I was accepted to Nova Southeastern University College of Pharmacy for entrance this fall. Currently, I am living in NYC with my mom and 11-year-old dog. Honestly, even though I should probably be excited about the prospect of moving down to Florida this summer for school, I feel I'm dreading this more and more each day. Feelings of insecurity and fear of having to survive alone for the next four years agonize me and my mind. I am 21 years old, will be 22 next month, and have always lived with both my parents until 2004 when I moved in with my mom after my parents divorced. Either way, I am very attached to my parents because they have always supported me, provided me, and most importantly, I get along very well with both of them. I feel I am going to miss my parents, my dog, and fear being in isolation for the next four years in pharmacy school. I DON'T KNOW IF I AM PREPARED TO BE ON MY OWN NOW OR IF I EVER WILL EVEN AFTER I FINISH SCHOOL. I have definitely matured physically over the years, but it is apparent that my psychological development has only progressed to a certain extent and not completely. I have never been like other people who are excited and desperate to leave their parents and be on their own....this often comes from people slightly younger than I am (18 or 19 years old). Why did I mention feeling ISOLATED above? Well, I am not a very outgoing person at all. All throughout high school, I had only three or four friends....in college, I had none....everyone was simply a classroom acquaintance with whom I would exchange small talk about the upcoming exam or current progress or how much studying I have to do in one particular class or another. COMPLETELY ALONE. I am very shy. I can speak to people with ease, but all my life, I have never fit in with young people. I cannot share anything in common with young people because the majority are irresponsible and care about nothing more than partying, drinking "getting wasted", and having sex. Not caring about any of those activities one bit and just having a reserved and calm personality, I definitely cannot share anything in common with the young crowd. The only people I feel I can truly converse with easily is middle aged people who are more serious and can actually teach me something about life and its challenges. I fear that in pharmacy school, things will not change much at all. I will probably be surrounded by young people and feel like a total recluse with no one to talk to. I completely doubt myself and have had the WORST of thoughts lately. My thoughts and outlook have been so pessimistic that I have even contemplated turning down my acceptance and not going at all. IF YOU ARE GOING TO RESPOND WITH CRITICISM, A BEATING, OR SAYING ANYTHING THAT WILL EXALT YOU AND YOUR SELF-ESTEEMS, DO NOT BOTHER. I DO NOT NEED ANYONE TRYING TO MAKE HIM OR HERSELF FEEL BETTER BY TELLING ME HOW AT THE AGE OF 15, YOU HAD LIFE EXPERIENCE AND TWO KIDS. NO THANKS.
 
Be strong and you'll be fine. I came to US from China at your age. My English was poor, I did not have a car, I could not understand the lectures, did not have any friends or relatives...I felt so frustrated and alone at that time.
Trust me, everything will be fine. We need to grow up, right? At least you can visit your parents several times a year and call them whenever you want. 😍😍😍😍😍😍
 
you're going to pharmacy school, so i dont think you'll be dealing with the boozed up "sex" crowd, us pharmacy people had to be responsible at some period in our life to make it into pharmacy school, and to get our pharmd were gonna be doing a lot more studying than partying. im sure you'll find some people like you, and also while undergrad was really big, youll end up knowing everyone in you class. also consider your moving away a way to make you parents really proud of you. it might take a while but im sure you will transition nicely, trust me a lot people moving away will have all sorts of insecurity issues, but after a week you'll relish in all the best parts of being on your own- no nagging! feeling like an adult! doing whatever you want whenever you want!
 
You gotta get outa the nest sometime, because your parents won't live forever. The earlier you do it, the easier it will be.

I jumped outa the nest last summer and moved 500 miles away from my parents. It was hard for the first 6 months, but being busy with school really helped. It has gotten much better. You'll be okay, and have plenty of people to support you through your class, the university, and the pharmacy school. You can do it!
 
OP, in many ways I am like you. I am also shy, and do not make friends easily. In high school I made one very close friend, and two others not as close. In college, I also have made none. I have many acquaintances, but no friends. Those I can call friends are the people from my church Bible school class. And while your friends are middle aged people, mine are actually older people in their 60's to 80's.

That being said, I think that despite this, the move from your parents' home will have to come sometime. Everyone, even your parents, expects you to leave. It's better to do it now, than to become that forty something year old who still lives with their parents. And trust me, you will be fine. If older people are the ones you feel more comfortable around, you will meet several in pharmacy school. There are forty- and fifty-somethings who are just beginning pharmacy school. And younger people are not all immature. A lot of younger people are extremely mature for their age, and a lot of older people are extremely immature for their age. You will find people that you like being around. Just don't be afraid to put yourself out there.

As a side note, I went to boarding school at the age of ten. I hated it then, but I'm sure it allowed me to currently be studying here in the US, an entirely different country. If I can do it, you can, too. :biglove:
 
I know how you feel. I am thinking about moving across the entire country, not knowing anyone. This will be the first time I am responsible for the car. Usually my parents would help me with it. At the same time, I've always wanted to live in California, and I want to work as a pharmacist there.
 
The feeling will be temporary, and you will grow accustomed to not being at home. In fact, what you consider home will change - going back won't be the same after being away for a while. It is good to move away now because, later on in life, jobs may require you to move far away. At this stage, everyone is understanding and many are in the same position. When it comes to an employer, they will be less understanding.
 
I hear you. Even though I am also not as outgoing as many of my peers, I was prepared to make this sacrifice for the betterment of my family. You should also use the success of your family as motivation and go for it.

Have you applied to any schools nearby your state/in-state? Because that could significantly ease up the problem you are facing currently.
 
It is hard to leave home no matter what age you are. Just be glad that you are starting the path to an excellent career at such a young age. You will be finishing at the same age that I am starting! There will be others feeling just like you I guarantee it. Don't give up your acceptance because then you're left trying to figure out life from scratch again and you may still have to move for a lesser opportunity. My friend goes to Nova and it is a beautiful campus and that part of Florida is one of the nicest. I actually had hoped to venture away from my family (to be more independent) and I won't get to do that so it works both ways.
 
This is what I do to help myself overcome overwhelming situations. I keep telling myself that many people have done it before me, so I can do it too. Think of it as an experience, it is only 4 years of your life and you can always move back to NY at the end. I did something similar for my undergrad, I moved to the midwest and I believe it made me stronger and independent. I think it will do the same for you, always remember everyone is on equal ground on that first day of pharmacy school. Everyone is looking to meet new people and you won't feel that isolated.
 
Sounds to me like just a case of "cold feet" 🙂 Big changes are scary. If it's exciting for some people, it's in part because that's how they react to fear. It's going to be hard for your parents, too. I know it was scary for me when my kids left.

But being afraid of changes is (I think) not a good reason to decline your acceptance. We know that Pharmacy School is very, very competitive and it's only getting worse, and anyways, eventually you will have to spread out your wings and FLY.

Forget about not making friends in Pharmacy School. It's a completely different scenario from college. First of all, the students who spent their time in college partying and getting wasted are not (for the most part) the ones who will get accepted to PS. And age is also going to be a bit different. Actually most of your classmates are going to be somewhat older than you, and there's quite a few 40somethings. I myself am applying for 2009, when I will be 43-44.

And last but not least, in this technological age NY-FL is not even a long distance call. You can talk with your mom and dad every day for as long as you want until you get used to everything.

Of course, it's also very important to look inside yourself and see if being a Pharmacist is really what you want to do. If you decide that it is, take a deep breath and dive in!

Good Luck!
 
I understand where you are coming from. When I was younger I swore I would move far, far away. But, now as I finish up my 2nd year of college, I've become more and more attached to my parents/family. I was very homesick after winter break, but things have gotten way better. Just ride it out and you'll be fine. I know NYC to Florida is a long way, but it is only 4 years (I know it seems like a long time) and as soon as you graduate, I'm sure you can find a job within 2 blocks of your parents if you wanted. Just hang in there and keep looking towards your goals!
 
how come u didnt apply to schools in NY if u miss home so much??
 
It's easier to move away when you are younger, especially if you are moving away for school. Pharmacy school pushes people together, you are very likely to make friends there. It will be much harder when it's work-home-too exhausted to do anything or go anywhere, so just sleep-work-repeat thing. 🙂
 
I understand where you're coming from - I did my undergrad 30 minutes away from my family and had my best friend to live with. Now I'm looking at 8 hours away and knowing absolutely no one. But, I'm guessing half of the class will probably be feeling the same way. It's pretty scary.

Go to mixers, join clubs, and you will meet people you can bond with. Pharmacy school is not ALL young people, and, you're with the same 50-200 people for FOUR YEARS. Believe me, you will get to know them, whether you intend to or not. Plus, you (and everyone else) will be busy studying - I don't think there's going to be as much "partying and sex" as you think. And I've made it through five years of undergrad with minimal requisite "partying, drinking and sex"... don't be so quick to judge ALL your peers. Get to know them.. they're not all bad. 🙂
 
You are definitely not alone in this!
I am scared S***less of moving to ARKANSAS from CALIFORNIA but hey you can see this as your next great adventure.

Try to start getting to know a few of your future classmates, maybe find a roommate or get a Cat (im thinking of getting a cat) 👍
 
Remember this: there is a very fine line between being scared and being excited. Whether you realize it or not, you can choose one over the other! Be excited! You can look at this as a great adventure that I'm sure your parents are thrilled about. Sure, it's normal to miss family; but think about how much you will grow and learn. Everyone else will feel just as akward as you the first week of school, even those that didn't move away from home. This is your reward for such hard work--be brave! And by the way, this 40 year old will be looking for nice, shy, mature young people to help ME fit in.
 
Go on a few dates after you move.
A significant other can really help the situation, because they can become a close companion with whom you can be serious and sincere.
Once you're a pharmacy student, the singles at Barnes and Nobles will flock your way. 😉
 
Hi DoctorRx1986. I'm surprised that in the city of 8 million people you feel alone. I feel like that sometimes. But I think it's important to be proactive in socializing. I used to be like no one understands me, they're all too childish for me. But as I grow older I feel like there has got to be somebody with the same interest as me out of the hundreds of millions in this country, right? Chances are, there are tons. Don't worry about being alone. As long as you PROACTIVE in seeking friends, you will find them. how? Join school clubs, play sports, talk to coworkers. Any chance to get to know people, you take it. And any chance to show your personality to others, you take that too. Just allow time. You'll be happier.

One thing you should know already is you got into pharmacy school. Do you know how hard it is? So say to yourself, I'm great! If I'm capable of this, then anything's possible. Like somebody else above said already, you have to learn how to be independent away from home. Your parents' generation will pass on eventually. Just put on a proud and content face daily. Find friends among pharmacy students at Nova and you'll be fine.
 
Do you know the day I got my acceptance I was so happy and that night I cried....The fear just kicked in. I never saw myself going far in school and I never feel smart enough, the thought of going to grad school surrounded by the best of the best, and having everyone be so much younger...I dunno....got to me. But I know that if I just push past the fear that it will be better in the end....I have to believe that! I am from Utah and got accepted to USN and I had to decide which campus...and as much as I want to go to NV for the warmth and the different lifestyle...I am afraid to leave here...my whole family and all my nieces and nephews are here and I just hate the idea that I wont be as involved with them as I am now...but at the same time, I think there is something about an entire class starting together, all a little afraid and all a little excited. You get to be with that class for the next 4 years and you will make amazing friendships (or so that is my hope)...and if you stay home, you wont push yourself as much to get out and create those friendships, this is your time to really determine to open up and get amazing P1 roomates and really see how fun this will be.....and know that your parents are still there and will still be a HUGE part of your life (that is what phones are for!) .....but you will never see what life has in store if you dont walk some hard roads....
I hope we both love it !!!
I chose NV. (scared!! and maybe stupid, but its a hell of an adventure!)
 
Thanks to all of you for your encouraging words and understanding. Very supportive. 😀👍
 
To the OP: I strongly believe from reading the responses above that the attitude present in each reply is a strong indicator of the type of people you will meet in pharmacy school - caring, compassionate and friendly. Change can be scary at times, but you should rest assured that the incompetent, irresponsible people from undergraduate do not enter pharmacy school. Of course, that isn't to say that everyone in pharmacy school will be "friendly," but you get the idea...

Your future classmates will be the ones who were studious enough to study and had the necessary drive to pursue their own goals (and achieve them thus far). They will be your new friends for the next 3-4 years and I am sure you will learn a lot about them as well as yourself.

Good luck.
 
I was just reading the posts on this thread and all I can say is that I am impressed...VERY IMPRESSED 🙂 every post/comment/feedback has been supportive/positive all intended to help the OP...this thread truly shows how mature and professional future pharmacists are going to be! 🙂

To the OP: I was a pretty shy person throughout my high school years so I definitely know what your going through. I had to leave my parents for the first time since I was going out of state for college. It was a tough adjustment living alone in an unfamiliar place, but I was forced to make those adjustments which really allowed me to "grow up" and "open up." The experience of living alone allowed me to be more open to people. If your afraid of rejection, don't be because majority of the people would like to meet another friend. And yes many of our peers like to party and drink and I have quite a few friends that do, but I, too, am not into partying and generally dislike the taste of alcohol (except for a select few 😉). My party friends know that I'm not into partying and they respect that and I am still their friend. What I'm trying to say is it doesn't hurt to have another friend.

Based on what I have read here, it looks like you're in good hands 🙂 Good luck! :luck:
 
I wish you the best of luck in moving to Florida. I understand you are anxious and scared, it is scary moving across the state, I can't even imagine moving across the country. You will not be alone at Nova, everyone will be starting out just like you and you will meet many new people. Hopefully you will find your crowd. This might be an opportunity to branch out and be more social than you were in your past.

This is something that no one else has brought up that I want to ask you. Are these fears entirely your own? What I'm asking is, are your family/your mom, pressuring you about leaving? It's really hard to have confidence in a big decision when you have someone else echoing your own fears! I only say that because I have personal experience in that situation. My mom was so excited and supportive of me going to pharmacy school, but when it came time for me to apply she wanted me to only go to the school in town. When I didn't get in there the next year I applied to many schools all over the country and didn't even apply to the local school again. She had such a hard time when I moved (and I only go to school 3 hours away!). If that is the case, and I don't know you so I don't know your individual situation, remember to live your life for you and not for someone else.

You will be stuck with your classmates for the next four years and I really hope you find some good friends in the group. Maybe you could try exchanging numbers or PMing some people on SDN that are going to Nova so you could try to make friends before you even get there. Good luck, I'm sure you'll do great!
 
Once you do this you will look back and think of it as the best time/best thing you ever did in your life. The hardest most frightening things in life bring the best rewards. Picture yourself driving down there, windows down, music blarring and your whole life ahead of you. You have gotten into an excellent field with a very secure future. Dont let your fear of change hinder you. Take a deep breath and jump. You will NEVER regret the decision to go. You will ALWAYS regret a decision not to go. I moved to Florida by myself from CT when I was 17. I had $600 dollars, my car, and nothing else. I left my family, friends, everything to get away from a bad situation. I had no plan, wasn't going to college, and no job. The drive down there was the most alive and free I have ever felt in my life. I was so scared. Anyways, it all worked out. I still look back on it as one of the best times in my life. It changed me for the better. Besides, you can't be sad when you look outside and see palm trees!! Good luck!
 
Just think... what is she had never left home?
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOEq-ImGWJ0&feature=related[/youtube]
The key is remembering that "there is no place like home" while enjoying a wonderful adventure such as pharmacy school.
If you move away, you can always visit during the breaks and move back after you graduate.
 
@PharmDstudent: You're so cute and hilarious!!! Love the video clip.

To OP: I'm moving from VA to FL this August to attend LECOM school of pharmacy. I'm scared and excited at the same time. I've never been apart from my parents. This will be the first time I do everything on my own. But as other people said, you'll be stuck with the same classmates for 4 yrs and I'm sure you'll find a whole bunch of new friends eventually. It's not like undergrad that every semester has a different group of students and you only see them for 3-4 months. After the 1st month, you'll get used to the new environment. School and work will keep you busy and you will not have time to be homesick. Plus, you can always call home or webcam chat with your family back in NY. I'm taking my bf's dog to Fl. He's a Scottish terrier and he'll be my friend when I'm lonely at the beginning. Good luck!
 
you could end up liking it or you could end up hating it. the only way to know for sure is for you to try at least. you can't become a pharmacist unless you go to school. i'm sure your home will always be there if you try and just for some reason can't stand pharmacy school and move home. the problem is that your seat in pharmacy school will not wait forever for you.
 
I agree with everyone's response to the OP. Changes can be scary, especially when you have to move away from the comfortable setting of your home. I was shy and quiet in high school, but made a "big decision" when I moved 90 miles away from home for college. It was difficult for me in the beginning, but I've grown a lot from that experience. Now, I'm going to be moving one more time for pharmacy school and this time it's going to be 1600 miles away from home. The thought of moving to a place where I don't know anyone is still scary to me, but I'm sure the people there will be very nice and supportive, just like everyone who's been replying to this post.

To OP: Don't give up your goal of becoming a pharmacist! I am sure your fellow pharmacy students will be very supportive of you and you will be able to make more friends as well as being comfortable in a professional setting. Everything will work out for you 🙂, you've gone this far to pursue your goal, don't let this opportunity slip away!
 
I currently live in Florida and trust me when i say you will love it. Especially, the city your moving to. Your going to a good school, great cultured city, and beautiful beaches. You really cant ask for anything more. Just remember when your family is snowplowing the sidewalks, your walking on the beach with your flip flops and Pharmacology notes.Ha!
I work at a pharmacy whom accepts pharmacy residents. Of the three years I worked all the residents from the Northeast have stayed in Florida after they finished the program. To be honest, I'm really jealous. I actually have to move to Alabama for school.
 
I started to get cold feet about pharm school too. Not about moving away, but after working so hard and focusing on just getting in, I started thinking 'do i really want to be a pharmacist?' and 'omg im going to be 100,000+ in debt!' lol. But every step in life requires risk and takes sacrafice.

You'll have to move away eventually. Leaving for school is probably the easiest transition because you'll be joining a group of peers with similar goals who don't know each other either. I think it will be easier to meet friends than you think. This isnt the typical frat party crowd you meet at undergrad. I'm starting at nova too so I'm sure I'll meet ya there!
 
PharmHopeful3 said:
I started to get cold feet about pharm school too. Not about moving away, but after working so hard and focusing on just getting in, I started thinking 'do i really want to be a pharmacist?' and 'omg im going to be 100,000+ in debt!' lol. But every step in life requires risk and takes sacrafice.

You'll have to move away eventually. Leaving for school is probably the easiest transition because you'll be joining a group of peers with similar goals who don't know each other either. I think it will be easier to meet friends than you think. This isnt the typical frat party crowd you meet at undergrad. I'm starting at nova too so I'm sure I'll meet ya there!
Click to expand...


Well, I guess we'll meet each other as well as other sdn members who are planning on attending Nova this fall. See you August 3rd (first day of orientation). By the way, I have also freaked out about the debt issue before. When the reality of being over $100,000 in debt hit me, I thought I was doomed for life; fortunately, many people have provided me with the solace of knowing that the debt will not be overwhelmingly difficult to pay due to the high income pharmacists make. Salaries are high as of now...imagine four years from now, perhaps even higher. Anyway, my name is Jonathan. What is yours?
 
DoctorRx1986 said:
Well, I guess we'll meet each other as well as other sdn members who are planning on attending Nova this fall. See you August 3rd (first day of orientation). By the way, I have also freaked out about the debt issue before. When the reality of being over $100,000 in debt hit me, I thought I was doomed for life; fortunately, many people have provided me with the solace of knowing that the debt will not be overwhelmingly difficult to pay due to the high income pharmacists make. Salaries are high as of now...imagine four years from now, perhaps even higher. Anyway, my name is Jonathan. What is yours?
Click to expand...

I'm Jessica. I started looking at apartments online and I'm getting really excited! Are you planning to live on or off campus? I called residential life and they said the new graduate apartments are really nice. I'm kinda conflicted about where to live. The orientation starts so early! Seems like august 3rd is right around the corner.
 
DoctorRx1986 said:
Well, I guess we'll meet each other as well as other sdn members who are planning on attending Nova this fall. See you August 3rd (first day of orientation). By the way, I have also freaked out about the debt issue before. When the reality of being over $100,000 in debt hit me, I thought I was doomed for life; fortunately, many people have provided me with the solace of knowing that the debt will not be overwhelmingly difficult to pay due to the high income pharmacists make. Salaries are high as of now...imagine four years from now, perhaps even higher. Anyway, my name is Jonathan. What is yours?
Click to expand...

Hi Jonathan, after reading your post I realized wow, I feel exactly the same way. I'll be starting pharmacy school next year at Nova as well and I'm also experiencing the same "cold feet" syndrome you're feeling. It's weird because I've lived my life almost the exact same way as you have, not having too many friends, not going out too much, being really close-knit with my family, and so on.. I've always been afraid of doing something new and different not only because of social phobias, but also fear of rejection or failure. But I realize that I have to move on from all that not only to succeed in pharmacy school, but to live a happy, fulfilling life. I try to remind myself to not be afraid of meeting new people, trying out new things, or having an open mind when it comes to different situations. We as human beings aren't perfect, and it doesn't help to go through life being all alone. Yeah, I definitely avoided a lot of people in my four years at UF not so much because of all the partying, drinking, and sex but because of lost trust, backstabbing, and just being screwed over from time to time. That's just life I guess, but like they say, what doesn't kill you make you stronger. And there's plenty of sincere, good-hearted people out there who really do have similar goals in life. I really hope we can both succeed in pharmacy school and make a bunch of new friends. Good luck and see you in the fall.
 
I just discovered this post and wanted to bump it back up because I am feeling the same exact way as the OP. Im counting down the days and getting more anxious. I have to keep telling myself that I am in a very blessed position.
 
Thanks leoproductionz for bumping this thread. I will not be leaving for pharmacy school until next year, but I feel anxious already. I've always lived in a small town and have stayed in the dorms. For the first time, I will be living in a big city and will have my own apartment.

I'm working on my PharmCAS application right now. Although I did well in undergrad, I have been afraid that I will not do as well in pharmacy school. After reading the posts, I feel better that other people are going through the same things. Thanks for the encouragement!
 
I'm bumping this 8 year old thread, I just got in at nova CDM and it's 4 hours away from home! I've only ever spent 1 night away from my parents when I was 11, :/ I don't know how to function without family, like I can cook and clean and take care of myself, but I like coming home to my mom and telling her about my day, and playing with my little brother, and annoying my big sister. I need to have discussions with my dad about things other than school and hear his corny jokes, What if one of my dogs die when I'm in dental school. I can't take them with me, I can't find a single apartment or home to rent that'll let me bring my 2 german shepherds (my other dog died earlier this year so I'm paranoid about this). Like my hear literally aches when I think about leaving my house and not coming back the same day! My 12 year old brother is going to be 16 when I finish😱, then who knows if I'll ever live with them again because of residency or if I get married 🙁 I'm only 20, and I cry about this every time I think about it. Any advice? I know I have to grow up and it's a sacrifice I'm going to have to make to achieve my dream of becoming a dentist, but I'm really attached to my family </3🙁🙁:sorry::sorry:
 
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