i think i am in love???

[wonderguy2]

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ok guys.life really sucks. most of you probably read my other thread about my recent spectacular comeback academically. but here is an emotional dilemna. i think i am utterly in love but i don't want to even consider pursuing it. but it's freaken so hard! i want to call her but i am so freak out that i will be rejected. good grace, should i just pluck this deep feeling out of my heart and live as if it doesn't exist? or should i torture myself. i think i know the answer but i just need confirmation. advice?

 

[moo]

Movin to lounge.... 🙂

Seriously though: no pain, no gain. Go for it! How old are you btw? You sound like someone in HS who's about to ask a girl out for the first time... no offense 🙂

 

[Raptor]

Dude, that feeling that you have is for a reason. If you like her, then just bite the bullet, and call her. There are two answers that she can say...yah/nah. In addition, if she says nah, well there are more fishes in the sea for you my man <img border="0" alt="[Lovey]" title="" src="graemlins/lovey.gif" /> .
Did you use the "Girl, I am going to become a doctor. Do YOU know how much they make$" :wink: pick up line? That sometimes work or just be yourself. Girls like originality. But I say call her. Good luck!!
- Raptor

 

[wonderguy2]

🙂 i am 23. no, it's not the first time that i ask a girl out. i guess it's always tougher to ask someone who you actually feel for. i don't have a problem talking to girls.

 

[wonderguy2]

BTW, for those of you are wondering. she is a 1st year med student. so the line that i will be a doctor doesn't work 🙂

 

[Assassin]

•••quote:•••Originally posted by wonderguy2:
•BTW, for those of you are wondering. she is a 1st year med student. so the line that i will be a doctor doesn't work 🙂 •••••ok, try this line then: "do you make love to strangers?" if she says no, you can just introduce yourself :wink:

 

[missbonnie]

if you don't ask you will never know

 

[Hero]

you better hurry it up. I've got my eye on her too! :wink:

 

[wonderguy2]

i guess i should say more.
i know her for 2 years! we are pretty close friends, i think. it's one of those friend first, lover later. see guys, although it's hard, i think i will not pursue it. if anything, i want her to make the 1st move?

 

[Raptor]

•••quote:•••Originally posted by wonderguy2:
•i guess i should say more.
i know her for 2 years! we are pretty close friends, i think. it's one of those friend first, lover later. see guys, although it's hard, i think i will not pursue it. if anything, i want her to make the 1st move?•••••Don't quit!!! If you really like her then go ahead and pursue her. However, most female med student don't really want any relationships. So I don't really know.
Hold up I hope you are not trying to hit on my girlfriend!!! 😡 I am just kidding. <img border="0" alt="[Laughy]" title="" src="graemlins/laughy.gif" />

 

[wonderguy2]

ok, this sucks. i won't think about her anymore. she and i will be just friends and that's final! i am going to sleep.
i am a very determine person. what i say goes. back to the secondaries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
p.s. yes, i miss her but i won't pursue her!!!!

thanks for hearing me guys.

 

[Tweetie_bird]

you crazy man! if you like her this much, nothing else should matter.
A guy I met a while ago took this chance, by telling me how he felt. We are engaged now. THINK ABOUT IT!!! if you don't try, you will never know if it's meant to be. Plus, she could be waiting for you....so be a man, and ASK HER OUT.
<img border="0" alt="[Lovey]" title="" src="graemlins/lovey.gif" /> Tweetie <img border="0" alt="[Lovey]" title="" src="graemlins/lovey.gif" />
PS: A perfect excuse to ask her out--4th of july fireworks! Think of how romantic it would be to spend the day with her, and end it with the fireworks show. Gosh I am cheesy but hey, you do this stuff in love. <img border="0" alt="[Lovey]" title="" src="graemlins/lovey.gif" />

 

[Spidey]

Hmmmm yeah wonderguy, I agree with you in a way, it is a lot harder when the girl you're asking out is a friend... cuz if she says no it can screw up the friendship. But I find it is always better to ask a girl out than to spend time wondering what woulda/coulda/shoulda happened.

Just do what I do, ask her "have you ever wondered what it would be like if you and I went out on a date?" If she says no drop your books on the floor and run out of the room with your arms flailing in the air.

 

[simpleG]

won't screw up the friendship forever. just for a few awkward weeks. let her know how you feel, be honest with her and she'll say yes, and you'll live happily etc...or she'll say no, and it'll be strange for a few weeks (give her all the space in the world) and act totally cool later. no biggy.

 

[Grand mal]

A 23 year old playing the romantic "Should I or shouldn't I" game. That's the type of decision making that will really endear you to your future patients. Is this,(or the absence thereof), what they refer to as life experience?

My advice: Go back to pre-teen. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars.

 

[Zoobaby]

I agree with SimpleG - she won't bolt if she's not interested, just dont be following her home or sleeping outside her apartment 🙂

Seriously - these are the things that regrets are made of. Don't set yourself up for a lifetime of what-if's.

Do it.

 

[kam730]

I, too, was always against the dating-your-good-friend thing. But there was this guy friend of mine of like 4 years who I used to like when we first met. Last summer a mutual friend divulged to me that he had also expressed feelings for me. But I was in another relationship at the time, what a crappy situation! Anyway, I talked to this guy and we werent sure what to do. Neither of us wanted to ruin the friendship. Nevertheless we decided to go for it and start dating. We just celebrated our one year anniversary this past weekend, and a wonderful year it has been. This was one of the best decisions of my life. Like everyone else says, if you dont ask her you will never know, just go for it! Good luck!

 

[Mutterkuchen]

I had a good friend who I had a crush on a couple of years ago. We went to a party, got really drunk, and then got it on. After that, we decided to get together. We got married last April!

So get her really drunk. It might alter your life.

 

[DW]

•••quote:•••Originally posted by JBJ:
•So get her really drunk. It might alter your life.•••••<img border="0" alt="[Laughy]" title="" src="graemlins/laughy.gif" /> ohh, JBJ, there are laws against that type of stuff.

for the original poster, remember that most of the risks in this life that you'll regret are the one's you DIDN'T take.

 

[wonderguy2]

yeah i guess. but here's the thing though. i hate to ruin the friendship. i usually don't like to hurt people or myself. a couple of her med school friends of whom i also know also likes her. they told me that they like her. so i feel that if i act on it, i will hurt everyone involve. so i think the best route is to keep the friendships. regrets, yes but i rather have the friendship there. honestly, she is truly special. she really enlighten life in alot of good ways. i think i will choose to suffer for a period of time. it will be tough at the beginning (it already is...very painful) but it's for the best. i don't want to hurt her in any ways. if it's meant to be, it will turn out ok at the end.

 

[wonderguy2]

do you think the best way to get pass these feelings is to avoid her for a period of time?

 

[DW]

•••quote:•••Originally posted by wonderguy2:
•do you think the best way to get pass these feelings is to avoid her for a period of time?•••••From my experience, this is not a good approach. This just turns into lots of drawn out, pinned up frustration that wont go away nearly as soon as you like it to.

If she's really worth your time as a friend or love interest, then she should be able to handle your feelings towards her in a mature manner that shows she cares about you as well.

I know its not as easy as its being told to you, trust me I know more than anyone, but it will more than likely do more harm than good to sit around wondering what could be. And, i'm not quick to admit it, but as JBJ's case I was really hammered at 3am when I called my friend and asked her out. Still a year later we're together, nothing like a little blood in the alcohol stream to make us brave.

good luck in either case, you sound like a good person and I hope it works out for you.

 

[Spidey]

Don't be a wuss dude, just ask her out. The worst that happens is she will say no... just be cool about it when you ask her out and you'll be fine. If she says no things might be awkward for a while, but probably she will just be flattered. Don't come right out and say "I am madly in love with you" just ask her if she ever thought what it would be like if you dated or something like that.

 

[Scooby Doo]

Ask Watchamacallit about what happeend to him 🙂

Don't make the same mistake 🙂

 

[wonderguy2]

i am so glad that there is the field of medicine. everytime i think about medicine, i feel that there is bigger things in life and that is to spend my time, energy, and focus to look forward to one day be a doctor and help people. really, i would be so happy with that.

so if i don't avoid her, then what the heck i should do? do i pretend that i don't have feelings for her? i tried before but it doesn't work. whenever i look at her, my heart race and i forget everything.

should i date someone else who I don't really like but just physically attractive to so that i can forget about her? do you guys think it's a good idea? should i take a long vacation for 2 months out of the state and leave everything behind?

 

[Lindaling]

Why don't you drop little hints every now and then, see how she responds to them....like doing little things for her that shows consideration and care. If she responses positively, then continue doing those things. If she doesn't, then it's fine, the friendship is not broken, and you know where you are. Also, maybe get advice from her friends (who can keep a secret)and your friends; ask them if she would go for someone like you, or if asking her out would break the friendship, etc...

 

[Stinky T]

Moving to The Lounge.......