I was in the ER on friday night and learned a few things...

[Nate9862]

I went with my girlfriend and her son to the hospital on friday night because her son was having excruciating leg pain which in the end turned out the be quite benign, and I won't bore you with those stories... however, I will tell you what I learned very quickly.

The doctor who interfaced with us (not the attending, but the junior resident) was completely inept. To the point he was so nervous he said something along the lines of, "well he probably won't die or anything." Shocked. He saw the look of shock on my face, as I muttered loudly, "well that was completely inappropriate."

Anywho, I just thought it was interesting that this was a medical school graduate who likely has been in tough spots already, and gone through the gauntlet. What was that about? I'm sure he was just out of his element, or maybe just intimidated by the situation, but he projected absolutely no confidence... boo..

Anyone else have any experiences like that?

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[rrt]

Honestly, I would have laughed. I guess he should have gauged what type of person you are, and used person appropriate comments. If I would have walked in with my son, and he had the same problem. I'd prob chuckle or giggle a bit if someone came in and said, "well, he isn't going to die." Being in the medical field myself, I do understand that what might entertain or lift the spirit of one person can anger another. It is usually hit or miss.

For example, when I have floor duty or even ER duty, and a severe asthmatic walk in, it isn't uncommon for me to ask "how many minutes of your life have you smoked away today?" I've NEVER gotten in trouble, and usually get either a smile or an embarrassed look from my patients. That being said, if someone comes in, I usually am able to gauge if I can say that or not.

 

[princekc]

I went with my girlfriend and her son to the hospital on friday night because her son was having excruciating leg pain which in the end turned out the be quite benign, and I won't bore you with those stories... however, I will tell you what I learned very quickly.

The doctor who interfaced with us (not the attending, but the junior resident) was completely inept. To the point he was so nervous he said something along the lines of, "well he probably won't die or anything." Shocked. He saw the look of shock on my face, as I muttered loudly, "well that was completely inappropriate."

Anywho, I just thought it was interesting that this was a medical school graduate who likely has been in tough spots already, and gone through the gauntlet. What was that about? I'm sure he was just out of his element, or maybe just intimidated by the situation, but he projected absolutely no confidence... boo..

Anyone else have any experiences like that?

..it's probably an attempt by the resident to re-assure your friend of her son's benign condition by using a layman term.

 

[TriagePreMed]

If you got outraged over "he's probably not gonna die" when it's something where it's obvious a person won't die, I question your interpretation of the story more.

 

[isoquin]

yeah i kinda agree with triagepremed... I'm not quite seeing where there's an issue? Maybe it was his tone or delivery that I don't appreciate or something. btw, was it growing pains?

 

[NCOldie]

Being a mother, I can definitely understand why someone would be concerned at what this doctor said.
The key word this doctor said was "probably".
Any mother, who is not interested in the medical field, would more than likely freak out about this statement.
"PROBABLY won't die??? What do you mean???"
A doctor is not supposed to walk into a room and say that a woman's son PROBABLY won't die.
lol
I can definitely understand that this doctor was probably just nervous or whatever, but he/she needs to learn what to say and what not to say to patients...especially if that patient is a child with parents in the room. haha

 

[TriagePreMed]

Being a mother, I can definitely understand why someone would be concerned at what this doctor said.
The key word this doctor said was "probably".
Any mother, who is not interested in the medical field, would more than likely freak out about this statement.
"PROBABLY won't die??? What do you mean???"
A doctor is not supposed to walk into a room and say that a woman's son PROBABLY won't die.
lol
I can definitely understand that this doctor was probably just nervous or whatever, but he/she needs to learn what to say and what not to say to patients...especially if that patient is a child with parents in the room. haha

That's why a rational person that sees someone that's nervous would say "what do you mean probably won't die?" instead of jumping the gun.

We don't even know if those were the exact words he used. The OP just sounds totally uptight. Sorry if that's inappropriate to say

 

[NCOldie]

That's why a rational person that sees someone that's nervous would say "what do you mean probably won't die?" instead of jumping the gun.

We don't even know if those were the exact words he used. The OP just sounds totally uptight. Sorry if that's inappropriate to say

lol Unfortunately, parents can be uptight.
I don't think anything should have been said by him, though. If anyone should have said something, it should have been the mother.
If people don't watch what they say to patients and family of patients, trouble can happen.
Isn't that why doctors are supposed to be taught what to say and what not to say?

Now, as far as being inappropriate goes...
When I was in the hospital after giving birth to my son, the doctor walked in my room and proceeded to discuss in every detail sexual practices of another doctor.
Now THAT is highly inappropriate!! LOL

 

[Prncssbuttercup]

I am guessing the doc was nervous because it was a kid, not because he didn't know what to do. I'd also like to remind you that "junior resident" this guy graduated about 2 months ago. He HASN'T seen crap, or likely hasn't yet. He has seen stuff they let med students see on rotations, that's it. He may not be as confident yet as you expect, and he may not be good with kids. Maybe the last mom-son combo that came in were crazy or had some horrible case... I am not defending what he said, it could have been done a bit better, but don't be so hard on him. You're pre-med and you're going to be in the same boat someday...

 

[NCOldie]

I am guessing the doc was nervous because it was a kid, not because he didn't know what to do. I'd also like to remind you that "junior resident" this guy graduated about 2 months ago. He HASN'T seen crap, or likely hasn't yet. He has seen stuff they let med students see on rotations, that's it. He may not be as confident yet as you expect, and he may not be good with kids. Maybe the last mom-son combo that came in were crazy or had some horrible case... I am not defending what he said, it could have been done a bit better, but don't be so hard on him. You're pre-med and you're going to be in the same boat someday...

Agreed, but also keep in mind that he is dating this woman and probably loves the kid as well. Just like this doctor is nervous, so is the OP. So, it was just a misunderstanding on all sides. Point being, it could have been said better and I am certain that this doctor did not say it to be hateful. He was nervous, obviously, because I don't think anyone in their right mind would purposefully say a child "probably" won't die right in front of the parent. haha
I can definitely see myself being nervous and saying that in front of a family one day, though. I am not looking forward to dealing with family of patients. I definitely get toungue-tied sometimes! :-/ haha

 

[OBK]

No ER doc is going to come across the 'right' way 100% of the time - nature of the profession. who knows, perhaps his previous patient was going to die

 

[QofQuimica]

Honestly, I would have laughed. I guess he should have gauged what type of person you are, and used person appropriate comments. If I would have walked in with my son, and he had the same problem. I'd prob chuckle or giggle a bit if someone came in and said, "well, he isn't going to die." Being in the medical field myself, I do understand that what might entertain or lift the spirit of one person can anger another. It is usually hit or miss.

For example, when I have floor duty or even ER duty, and a severe asthmatic walk in, it isn't uncommon for me to ask "how many minutes of your life have you smoked away today?" I've NEVER gotten in trouble, and usually get either a smile or an embarrassed look from my patients. That being said, if someone comes in, I usually am able to gauge if I can say that or not.

Yeah, my first reaction was that this was the resident's not-so-successful attempt at trying to be funny. That kind of humor can go over very well, especially if you have built up rapport with the patient and you've already been joking around with them. I've definitely said things along those lines to people in an outpatient type setting who have obviously non-lethal conditions, like, say, a sprained ankle. "Well, the good news is that we won't have to saw your leg off." Inpatient is another story though since the patients are a lot sicker, and the ED in particular is a crapshoot, because you just don't know what to expect till you walk in the room. I do tread lighter in those contexts.

OP, try to keep in mind that being in the hospital is stressful for everyone, physicians as well as patients. Sometimes a joke can lighten things up for everyone involved. Of course, it's important for the patient to know that the physician is joking around with them and for the patient to be in the headspace to take a joke, so to speak. It really sounds like that resident's biggest mistake was having misread your girlfriend's state of mind and then making a joke that came off as inappropriate. It's unfortunate that he made you and your girlfriend feel worse instead of better, but I wouldn't interpret that as him being an incompetent physician. There isn't any class in med school on how to gauge when it's acceptable to joke around with a patient. Some docs naturally have that ability to read people and some don't. Seems like this guy should stick to his day job.

 

[Nate9862]

Yeah, my first reaction was that this was the resident's not-so-successful attempt at trying to be funny. That kind of humor can go over very well, especially if you have built up rapport with the patient and you've already been joking around with them. I've definitely said things along those lines to people in an outpatient type setting who have obviously non-lethal conditions, like, say, a sprained ankle. "Well, the good news is that we won't have to saw your leg off." Inpatient is another story though since the patients are a lot sicker, and the ED in particular is a crapshoot, because you just don't know what to expect till you walk in the room. I do tread lighter in those contexts.

OP, try to keep in mind that being in the hospital is stressful for everyone, physicians as well as patients. Sometimes a joke can lighten things up for everyone involved. Of course, it's important for the patient to know that the physician is joking around with them and for the patient to be in the headspace to take a joke, so to speak. It really sounds like that resident's biggest mistake was having misread your girlfriend's state of mind and then making a joke that came off as inappropriate. It's unfortunate that he made you and your girlfriend feel worse instead of better, but I wouldn't interpret that as him being an incompetent physician. There isn't any class in med school on how to gauge when it's acceptable to joke around with a patient. Some docs naturally have that ability to read people and some don't. Seems like this guy should stick to his day job.

Yeah, well said. I'm not saying this guy is going to be a total failure in life, haha. I normally give quite a bit of latitude to others when they are a bit socially awkward, or nervous. I understand the stress of the job, and he could've been on his 18th hour in that ER. BUT, here's the deal... he signed up for the job, and his performance was subpar, and I include his interpersonal communication skills as performance. Could I do better, maybe not. I'm not in med school yet, he already graduated, so my opinion doesn't mean much, truthfully. I recognize that. I hold myself to a pretty critical standard, and I hold others to the same. Now, what he did do well was interact with my girlfriends son well, and he did lighten the mood toward the end of our stay. He also conveyed a good sense of urgency and attention to his patient, so kudos there.