I'm in love with a program, and it scares me

[stormjen]

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Throughout this grueling interview trail, my experiences have run the gamut from greatly disliking a couple programs to liking and appreciating others. It has seemed as if most people find one program that they fall in love with, yet this experience has eluded me. Until now. 😍

Yes, that's right, at my very last interview, I have finally fallen in love. I literally wept tears of joy as I realized that I had found the place where I belong. The problem? I know for a fact that I am not the only person on this FORUM even who is planning to rank it first. And if there are two of us here, how many countless others are there? This is a small program, and while I don't know for sure how many residents they will be taking, at most it is four, and maybe even as few as two (I will be finding this out asap).

Now I need to figure out how to increase my chances of getting ranked highly. Beyond a fantastic interview day and an exuberant thank you letter expressing my enthousiasm, what else can one do? The possibility of bribes has crossed my mind. (During clinical rotations, it has been pretty common for med students to bring in treats for the residents and attendings on the last day. This sort of bribery has never been my thing, as I find it pretty distasteful.) Is using feminine wiles acceptable? My husband even suggested that we buy real estate near the program and tell them that they HAVE to take me now. (That one doesn't seem too practical).

Now watch, I will end up matching somewhere else and will always wonder what could have been. 🙁

 

[cytoborg]

I definitely feel your angst...I too am in love with a program and spend my days and nights yearning to go there and scheming up ways to get them to take me. I know only have a whisper of a prayer of matching there.

A resident advised me to have my people call their people and put in a good word for me. (My people don't really have any sway, though, so I think I'm SOL.) Perhaps you might try this.

I'm mentally preparing myself for the disappointment of opening the envelope and reading another name.

 

[Pingu]

Welcome to the club! 🙂

I'm having the exact same experience (except for the last interview thing). I am absolutely in love with the program, city, and anything even peripherally related to said city/program. But it is a very prestigious program and I know that other people on this forum have said good things and will likely rank it very high.

I'm going back to do a second look and I am taking significant other with me as he has never been to the city and requires salesmanship/bribes. But besides that and sending a strong letter of intent, I really don't think there is much more we can do. I may be throwing out some extra prayers and conducting a few extra sacrafices, but besides that?????

 

[Gut Shot]

Well I feel like a *****, because I'm in love with six programs. One of them does tend to rise to the top, but it's still a tight race. Hopefully none of them have herpes.

Having said that, I now realize that I'm condemned to match at #7. Alas.

Seriously, though, this is the kind of problem that you want to have. When I get totally confused, I just remind myself that, no matter how much I might love a program, I won't *really* know what it's like there until I go, and by then it's too late. Despite all our careful planning and decision making, there is still a degree of arbitrariness and flat-out luck involved.

So even if you're disappointed on March 17 and don't get #1, just think of all the poor sods who didn't match at all. No matter where you go, it's the opportunity of a lifetime, and it's going to be a wild ride (if you let it).

 

[b&ierstiefel]

It's good that you had a Eureka moment on your interview trail. On the other hand, I found about 2-3 programs that I surprisingly didn't like as much as I thought I would. There were a few programs that I liked more than I expected but alas, no Eureka moment.

At this point all we can do is cross our fingers and hope for the best. Things are a bit more competitive this year and I have no idea how things will work out. But at this point, there's really nothing I can do. Yes, this lack of control is really frustrating; it really sucks. But what can we do? *sigh*

Anyways, our dean of students had presented his Match/ROL seminar which he does every year at my school. As I promised months ago, I would put up the information on this forum. And I think this is a good opportunity for me to do so. I've removed the school identifying information but I know that if people at my institution cought wind of this, they would be unhappy. This was originally powerpoint but I couldn't upload a ppt file so I had to convert it to a regular document. Let me know if you have problems opening this file.

Peace out.

P.S. I'll probably remove this file in a day or two for the aforementioned reasons.

 

[yaah]

I visited two programs where after the visited I had 😍 smilies dancing through my head. I ended up ranking them #2 and #4 though, one because of location and the other because on deeper reflection I wasn't quite as impressed as I had been initially. If you really love the program though, that's good. You know you have a clear #1 and if you match there you won't have any regrets. If you don't, at least you know you went for it.

As far as "having my people contact their people" that might be good - if you can swing it. I think one of my attendings in med school might have been contacting my #2 behind my back to talk nicely about me, although I didn't ask.

 

[joedogma]

It's good that you had a Eureka moment on your interview trail. On the other hand, I found about 2-3 programs that I surprisingly didn't like as much as I thought I would. There were a few programs that I liked more than I expected but alas, no Eureka moment.

At this point all we can do is cross our fingers and hope for the best. Things are a bit more competitive this year and I have no idea how things will work out. But at this point, there's really nothing I can do. Yes, this lack of control is really frustrating; it really sucks. But what can we do? *sigh*

Anyways, our dean of students had presented his Match/ROL seminar which he does every year at my school. As I promised months ago, I would put up the information on this forum. And I think this is a good opportunity for me to do so. I've removed the school identifying information but I know that if people at my institution cought wind of this, they would be unhappy. This was originally powerpoint but I couldn't upload a ppt file so I had to convert it to a regular document. Let me know if you have problems opening this file.

Peace out.

P.S. I'll probably remove this file in a day or two for the aforementioned reasons.

Thanks for the document Andy. Looks like 7 is the magic number 🙂 I think I have used the intuitive approach about 80% of the time when developing the ROL in my head...hopefully I have good instincts...

 

[b&ierstiefel]

Thanks for the document Andy. Looks like 7 is the magic number 🙂 I think I have used the intuitive approach about 80% of the time when developing the ROL in my head...hopefully I have good instincts...

no problem dude. lot of stuff on the document has already been mentioned already but i figured it's always nice to see it from an authority figure. don't underestimate the powers of the intuitive approach..that's what i'm using. there's no science behind this for me.

 

[vetiver]

I'm totally with you guys. I like this one ultrasupercrazy competitive program so much I have considered suicide matching since I have convinced myself that it is the one program and geographic location for me. I am sending some emails to people on the ranking committee, but am not having my people call, since I don't think my people have much clout.

Other than that, I'm playing a lot of playstation and watching excessive amounts of TV to avoid putting together the rest of my rank list.

Hang on guys, only a few more weeks--as my mom always says, "It'll turn out how it turns out." 😳

 

[b&ierstiefel]

I'm totally with you guys. I like this one ultrasupercrazy competitive program so much I have considered suicide matching since I have convinced myself that it is the one program and geographic location for me. I am sending some emails to people on the ranking committee, but am not having my people call, since I don't think my people have much clout.

Other than that, I'm playing a lot of playstation and watching excessive amounts of TV to avoid putting together the rest of my rank list.

Hang on guys, only a few more weeks--as my mom always says, "It'll turn out how it turns out." 😳

PS2 game of choice?

These next few months are gonna be great for catching up with and keep up with TV shows. I try not to think much about the whole Match. What's done is done, we're done with interviews, and we've laid everything out on the table. The balls are in their court now...little we can do except think, "So what are plans for this upcoming Friday night?"

 

[stormjen]

Very nice, thanks Andy. Good thing the document reminded me not to grovel or beg. 😳

I'm getting more and more comfortable with my ROL. For a long time I had no clue how to put it together, but as I've been massaging it, rolling it around in my head, and writing it out repeatedly, it has begun to come together.

 

[b&ierstiefel]

Very nice, thanks Andy. Good thing the document reminded me not to grovel or beg. 😳

I'm getting more and more comfortable with my ROL. For a long time I had no clue how to put it together, but as I've been massaging it, rolling it around in my head, and writing it out repeatedly, it has begun to come together.

I seriously doubted that you would grovel or beg. I don't think any of us needs to be doing anything of that sort!

Yeah, since my step 2 is over, I'm gonna start the whole "massaging" of the rank list. I've changed it about 3 times so far within the last month.

 

[Mrbojangles]

When I get totally confused, I just remind myself that, no matter how much I might love a program, I won't *really* know what it's like there until I go, and by then it's too late.

That's really true. I have three clear cut top programs in mind (maybe I'll be a little disappointed if I get #3 instead of #1 or #2), but I'm not putting too much emotional investment in my top three programs. I know I'll get a good, solid education wherever I interviewed, except for possibly five of the places I interviewed, two of which I wont even rank.

Mad props to Andy for posting some information on the match!

 

[cytoborg]

Andy thanks for that awesome file. It actually helped a lot. I especially liked the guidelines on when to go DNR. It clarified where a couple of my programs stand on the list.

That's really true. I have three clear cut top programs in mind (maybe I'll be a little disappointed if I get #3 instead of #1 or #2), but I'm not putting too much emotional investment in my top three programs.

How zen of you...I'm envious. Maybe those of you who don't care that much could step aside and let us suicide matchers get our #1 picks and save us all much bloodshed. 😀 But I suppose that would require a revelation of rank lists all around. I for one am most certainly not willing to risk losing face when I broadcast my #1 and then don't match there.

 

[jeff2005]

Thanks Andy! You rock!

I wish I could see other peoples rank lists. All this secrecy is killing me!

I keep flipping #1 and #2 on my ROL. My favorite program is #3 (iowa 😍 ). Darn #$%# husband 😡 ! Sucks, doesn't it? Actually, I'd be very happy at #1 and #2, so I can't complain. I change my ROL everyday: A, then B, then C. NO! B, then A, then C. NO!! A, then B, then C. 😕 The rest of the list is pretty settled.

 

[b&ierstiefel]

But I suppose that would require a revelation of rank lists all around. I for one am most certainly not willing to risk losing face when I broadcast my #1 and then don't match there.

You know, I used to think like that not too long ago. Thing is, I would be very happy if I matched in one of my top 3 programs. And apparently, based on some correspondences, I think it should happen. So if I don't get my #1, no hurt feelings on my end. **** happens. I gotta deal with it.

 

[Mrbojangles]

How zen of you...I'm envious. Maybe those of you who don't care that much could step aside and let us suicide matchers get our #1 picks and save us all much bloodshed. 😀 But I suppose that would require a revelation of rank lists all around. I for one am most certainly not willing to risk losing face when I broadcast my #1 and then don't match there.

That doesn't mean I wont have my share of second thoughts or disappointments lol. But I'm reasonably sure that all the programs I applied to are overall solid programs except for two. Now if we factor in location and quality of life then I become less zen 😉. I think we should all post our ranking list on Feb 24th. Should be fun how people see different programs.

 

[yaah]

Yeah, rank lists stink. I had a strong bit of support from one of my programs that I really liked, and one that I was on the fence about, so of my top 4, I knew that 2 of them were almost guaranteed matches. The other two I wasn't sure about but thought I had a decent shot at. So I debated a lot where to rank them all, knowing that if I ranked one of my guaranteed places #1 that I had better be certain I wanted to go there and not regret not ranking another one higher in the future.

Just ask yourself where you really want to go. Not the place that "should be the best" or that people tell you is the best, or where you think you have the best chance, etc. That way you can't go wrong. If it doesn't work out, at least you know you didn't pass up a chance to train there.

 

[b&ierstiefel]

Yeah, rank lists stink. I had a strong bit of support from one of my programs that I really liked, and one that I was on the fence about, so of my top 4, I knew that 2 of them were almost guaranteed matches. The other two I wasn't sure about but thought I had a decent shot at. So I debated a lot where to rank them all, knowing that if I ranked one of my guaranteed places #1 that I had better be certain I wanted to go there and not regret not ranking another one higher in the future.

Just ask yourself where you really want to go. Not the place that "should be the best" or that people tell you is the best, or where you think you have the best chance, etc. That way you can't go wrong. If it doesn't work out, at least you know you didn't pass up a chance to train there.

wow...that was very very deep. 👍

 

[cytoborg]

Man Andy you are really on yaah's case today!

 

[b&ierstiefel]

Man Andy you are really on yaah's case today!

no. this is nothing like the **** i give him in the Lounge.

 

[yaah]

no. this is nothing like the **** i give him in the Lounge.

Bring it!

 

[b&ierstiefel]

Bring it!

Oh it's already been brought'n!

It's on like donkey kong beeeyotch!

 

[jeff2005]

Having said that, I now realize that I'm condemned to match at #7. Alas.

Is that because your woman matched in neuro at or near your #7?

 

[jeff2005]

This is a small program, and while I don't know for sure how many residents they will be taking, at most it is four, and maybe even as few as two (I will be finding this out asap).

If you do a search on the NRMP rank page, it lists the official # of positions.

 

[cytoborg]

If you do a search on the NRMP rank page, it lists the official # of positions.

I believe some programs are not yet sure, though. I think they have/had until Jan. 31 to get this finalized, though.

 

[stormjen]

If you do a search on the NRMP rank page, it lists the official # of positions.

Where?? I'm looking at their website and not finding it. But I'm not home and don't have my NRMP log-in info on me. Maybe it's only available if you log in?

 

[b&ierstiefel]

Where?? I'm looking at their website and not finding it. But I'm not home and don't have my NRMP log-in info on me. Maybe it's only available if you log in?

yeah i believe you have to log in. i'm not aware of a way around this without logging in.

 

[jeff2005]

Where?? I'm looking at their website and not finding it. But I'm not home and don't have my NRMP log-in info on me. Maybe it's only available if you log in?

PM me the program and I'll look it up for you.

 

[Gut Shot]

Is that because your woman matched in neuro at or near your #7?

no, it's just the sense of optimism i've inherited from one side of my family.

 

[LADoc00]

Throughout this grueling interview trail, my experiences have run the gamut from greatly disliking a couple programs to liking and appreciating others. It has seemed as if most people find one program that they fall in love with, yet this experience has eluded me. Until now. 😍

Yes, that's right, at my very last interview, I have finally fallen in love. I literally wept tears of joy as I realized that I had found the place where I belong. The problem? I know for a fact that I am not the only person on this FORUM even who is planning to rank it first. And if there are two of us here, how many countless others are there? This is a small program, and while I don't know for sure how many residents they will be taking, at most it is four, and maybe even as few as two (I will be finding this out asap).

Now I need to figure out how to increase my chances of getting ranked highly. Beyond a fantastic interview day and an exuberant thank you letter expressing my enthousiasm, what else can one do? The possibility of bribes has crossed my mind. (During clinical rotations, it has been pretty common for med students to bring in treats for the residents and attendings on the last day. This sort of bribery has never been my thing, as I find it pretty distasteful.) Is using feminine wiles acceptable? My husband even suggested that we buy real estate near the program and tell them that they HAVE to take me now. (That one doesn't seem too practical).

Now watch, I will end up matching somewhere else and will always wonder what could have been. 🙁

This honeymoon love affair with this program will fade, trust me. Eventually it will turn into a abusive relationship, and playing the battered wife you think back how wonderful "he" was when you first met. I spent 4 years in residency and left not really knowing what it was all about. It was my dream to go there since I first entertained medicine as a career and when I made it there didnt have any of the feelings of success I thought would. Go where life takes you, enjoy your family and have fun.

 

[deschutes]

don't underestimate the powers of the intuitive approach..that's what i'm using. there's no science behind this for me.

He channels Freud? I channel the Oracle. I am going to think about my rank list in the shower.

Go where life takes you, enjoy your family and have fun.

I hate it when you get all mushy.

 

[b&ierstiefel]

He channels Freud?

nuh uh.

 

[stormjen]

PM me the program and I'll look it up for you.

I was at a public computer, and some jerk pressured me to get off it. And since then I've found out how many positions the program will offer directly from them. And it's a good number! Yay! Thanks for the offer though. 🙂

 

[pathdawg]

Throughout this grueling interview trail, my experiences have run the gamut from greatly disliking a couple programs to liking and appreciating others. It has seemed as if most people find one program that they fall in love with, yet this experience has eluded me. Until now. 😍

Yes, that's right, at my very last interview, I have finally fallen in love. I literally wept tears of joy as I realized that I had found the place where I belong. The problem? I know for a fact that I am not the only person on this FORUM even who is planning to rank it first. And if there are two of us here, how many countless others are there? This is a small program, and while I don't know for sure how many residents they will be taking, at most it is four, and maybe even as few as two (I will be finding this out asap).

Now I need to figure out how to increase my chances of getting ranked highly. Beyond a fantastic interview day and an exuberant thank you letter expressing my enthousiasm, what else can one do? The possibility of bribes has crossed my mind. (During clinical rotations, it has been pretty common for med students to bring in treats for the residents and attendings on the last day. This sort of bribery has never been my thing, as I find it pretty distasteful.) Is using feminine wiles acceptable? My husband even suggested that we buy real estate near the program and tell them that they HAVE to take me now. (That one doesn't seem too practical).

Now watch, I will end up matching somewhere else and will always wonder what could have been. 🙁

Love? We are talking about choosing a residency, right? This is not supposed to be an emotional decision. I feel no warm and fuzzy fellings about where I did my training. They gave me an opportunity to train, I spent four good years there, and I left for a fellowship. Not tear one was shed.

 

[b&ierstiefel]

P.S. I'll probably remove this file in a day or two for the aforementioned reasons.

OK I've removed it but just in case anybody missed it and would like a copy, you can let me know by PM and I can PM it to you (or if that doesn't work, I can email it to you).

I hope the info was useful and hope it helps.

Cheers. Have a nice day.