Internal Medicine moms-residents, could you please share your experience with having kids while in residency? What would you recommend for medical applicants who want IM residency AND to start a family? My boyfriend will be in residency by this point too.
Please share any advice or thoughts to be better orient my decision. I don't have any experience as a mom and of course as a resident so it's hard to just just imagine what to expect. I just need a better idea of what I'm getting into.
Any reply would be appreciated. thank you.
Hey Ive.
I hope all is well. I am a current intern with a young child (1-2 years of age). I can probably best answer your question.
First, when applying you should really do yourself justice and look at a few factors for each residency:
1. Do residents in the program have kids? This is huge. A lot of places I applied to had no support for people with children during residency except for coverage when you and your spouse were sick. From what I have been told, this can make the process very difficult. You will be shocked to see which programs have children in the program. I am currently a resident at Hopkins and I'd say 5 of the interns have kids (maybe more), versus other places I looked at like those hospitals in Boston which may have had 5 residents with families for all 3 years. Philosophies at programs vary greatly and you should ask about this during your interviews. The reason I ultimately chose this program was due to the importance Sanjay puts on families during the interview.
2. Support in the city itself. Some cities actually have amazing support for spouses. For example, the AMA has an Alliance for people who are spouses of physicians. Some cities its very developed, others it is not. I would take the time to check out this website and see if there are other locations in the USA that have good support for families.
http://www.amaalliance.org/site/ My wife is part of this group and is adjusting really well to Baltimore. Programs themselves may also have specific programs such as the JHMA (Hopkins specific program for spouses of doctors).
3. How intense is the program during the first 3 years. This is also tricky. I would say this is probably the only real challenge I have found with Hopkins in regards to family balance. You are worked pretty hard the first year and spend essentially all of it inpatient. The trade-off is your 2nd and 3rd years you really get to develop your career path and spend time doing things like research. Some programs historically are easier than others (less responsibility, less hours etc.) I would look into this if I were you when making your decision.
4. Cost of living: Another huge factor. Essentially the major downfall for places like California, NYC and Boston for people with families. I did not even apply to NYC cause I knew I would not be able to afford it. My wife currently works from home part time and we are able to make it work because the cost of living in this city is super cheap compared to other programs.
5. What your significant other does/family around. I have 3 interns in my class who have family that live in the area and help with child care. The others have family that is slightly far away but travel to help out often. I would advice looking for a program close to your family if possible because you never know if you may or may not need them.
6. Benefits: Some programs make you partially cover benefits (such as health/dental insurance) while others pay it all up front. If you are really stuck between two programs, I would consider looking at this factor when making rank lists. When I was in medical school I had to drop 11k on dental and health insurance for my family. My current program covers the costs of health insurance which is huge for families. Some programs for what they actually cover or monthly costs can really start being taxing for those who have children and who are married. Since most people with families will have to penny pinch (given cost of child care), I would really look at this.
In short, it is very possible to have kids during residency. It is really hard. There have been many days that I have come home sad that I did not get to see my child after working a long day, however, I can honestly say that the program I chose has really put up a strong support system for my significant other to thrive here. I feel that's probably the most important part. No matter what, you will work your ass off during intern year (maybe more at other programs...) but even if you work 30hrs a week, it can be miserable if your significant other does not have support. It would really be in your best interest to research support for families first before applying (and affordability).
I hope this helps.
