I'm scared of doctors

[nightowl]

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I'm starting medical school in two months, and have been working in a hospital for about three months as a phlebotomist....and still can't work up the nerve to talk to the doctors. Case in point:

me to a guy shadowing ER doc 1: So you're shadowing? That's cool. Are you applying to medical school?

guy: yeah, etc, etc.

Me: blah, blah, blah, yeah I'm starting medical school in August.

ER doc 1: Oh really. So you've been accepted? Congratulations.
ER doc 2 (turns her head and smiles): Congratulations.

Me: Thanks. I'm excited about it. Then I smile and walk off. NO Hey can I come see what you do all night long? NO hey can I shadow you pretty please? Nothing. I just slumped off with a goofy smile on my face....

But really, I just can't talk to doctors. I haven't even directly told the pathologist in the lab that I'm going to medical school and I'm around him practically every day. And he's really, really nice. I'm sure he'd love to show me some stuff. And I'd love to see it. But I'm too f*#%ing shy to just speak up and put myself out there. Any advice on this? Anyone had similar experiences? I did shadow before I was accepted. The shyness has gotten worse since I got in. 🙄 😕

 

[LJDHC05]

You'll be seeing alot of them for the next four years. Then you'll have to look in the mirror every day knowing that -gasp of horror- you're a doctor too. I think the key is just to remember that although many physicians may act like they can leap tall buildings in a single bound and shoot web from their hands (I've seen it before, it's pretty cool), they're just normal people underneath that white coat (or spandex super suit). It sounds like you're placing physicians on a pedestal of awesomness, and that's probably the source of your anxiety. So just remember that they were all just like us nervous/anxious pre-MS1's at one point in their lives, even though they'll deny it, and that should help your nerves.

 

[Jedix123]

Because you secretly know you're better than all of them. It's ok I do that too.

 

[AmoryBlaine]

Wait until night #3 of orientation when you see the future doctors in your class dancing around like a bunch of fools and doing tequila shots. The mystique of medicine will evaporate quickly.

 

[peppy]

Yeah, I used to find doctors intimidating too. It's getting better as I go through med school and gain more confidence in myself. The more you're around them, and the closer you get to becoming another one yourself, the more you realize that they're just people. 🙂

 

[chef_NU]

I don't understand why you would be shy??

 

[USArmyDoc]

I don't understand why you would be shy??

I am the same way. It is because you are intimidated by them. Trust me, I do it to and I am REALLY worried about med school.

 

[lainey234]

I feel your pain. I have been volunteering at an ER for 3 months now and not a single of the docs there has even acknowledged I exist. No "It's nice to meet you, thanks for coming in", no nothing - not even a "Hello".

I can't bring myself to talk to them either since they have no interest in me, so I guess that my 100 hrs of volunteering will consist of talking to nurses and stocking rooms. All I can hope is that one day when I become a Dr I don't forget what it was like.

 

[SanDiegoSOD]

I feel your pain. I have been volunteering at an ER for 3 months now and not a single of the docs there has even acknowledged I exist. No "It's nice to meet you, thanks for coming in", no nothing - not even a "Hello".

Is it the docs responsibility to go out of his way to make you feel welcome? Perhaps you come across as stand-offish, or worse, anti-social. I probably wouldn't approach a volunteer if I thought the conversation was going to feel like pulling teeth. On the other hand, if you were to say "hi, I'm X, I'm a new volunteer here and am willing to help in any way - let me know if I can get something for you." You might sound like a kiss-a**, but at least you'll be introduced and you'll probably see a lot more action around the ER.

 

[USArmyDoc]

Is it the docs responsibility to go out of his way to make you feel welcome?

I agree with SanDeigoSOD. The docs do not have to go around trying to make everyone feel all warm inside. However, some of them can be obnoxious.

 

[lilnoelle]

I'm the same way!!! I am very awed by doctors to the point of intimidation. But once I get to know them beyond the title, I'm all right.
My husband works with a group of ophthalmologists and I'm feel awkward at the company party and even made a bit of a fool of myself at a dinner we were invited to with one of the doctor's family by overtalking... true sign of intimidation for me is when I can't seem to open or shut my mouth...
Anyway, once I get past that initial fright and get to know them, I do fine. I have met some very nice down to earth doctors that have gone out of their way to make myself comfortable.

 

[rowdybow]

I was the same way too (intimidated during shadowing) until I had two epiphanies about doctors being regular people......

(wavy lines and fade out.....)

ER doc fills me in on pt thats been here for hours, and is looking at X ray and tests

Me: so what do you think it is.....
ER Doc:hmmm... I have no idea. I am going to send him to a specialist.
(enter pt room)
ER Doc: hmm well it looks like you might have this or this, so you should go see this person. Here is a referral.
(we leave)
Me: Are you going to follow up and find out what it is?
ER Doc (filling out paperwork): No.

(wavy lines, fade to next scene...)

Me (leaving office early for the day): so, Dr. X do you need anything else today....?
Dr. X: I am swamped (sigh).
Me:.....
Dr. X: Want to go get a beer?
Me: Really? Ok.
Dr.X: No, I wish I could go. Make these phone calls.

Things like this made me feel a lot more comfortable. I also just wanted to tell some stories. Don't worry, its better to be too quiet than super annoying..remember you're a shadow, not a big balloon tied to their waist (imagine trying to work while having a shadow vs a big balloon tied you your waist and you'll get what I mean).

 

[ColinHay]

Remember ER docs are typically very busy; taking care of 10-20 Pt. at any given time and the piles of paperwork and dictations; add on to that the obligation to fill your need of being noticed... ?

 

[JohnUC33]

I used to be in awe of the docs when I first started working in the hospital. That awe sorta wore off after hearing them tell dirty jokes and lounging around watching movies with them on shift. Most docs I work with are down to earth and want to give me "insights" about the medical field. I've talked to my docs about some of everything. One gave me a boxing lesson while working, another told me the best retirement plan is to use condoms while young, and others about actual medical topics. Occasionally we get that "high and mighty" doc that me and the nurses just talk about behind his back. OP, just remember that all docs are ordinary people with a lot of knowledge and most want to share that knowledge.

 

[lainey234]

Remember ER docs are typically very busy; taking care of 10-20 Pt. at any given time and the piles of paperwork and dictations; add on to that the obligation to fill your need of being noticed... ?

I think you guys missed the point. I was commiserating because I too am shy around the docs at the hospital. I wish I could bring myself to say Hi to them, but I can't. I didn't expect them to come rushing over to me and make me feel warm and fuzzy, just a simple Hello would have been nice. How am I supposed to get up the nerve to intorduce myself if they never so much as make eye contact with me? And no - it is not THAT busy, I am volunteering in a small community hospital ER. I was hoping this thread might have a bit of advice for others like me, but thanks for making me feel like an uptight princess with an attitude problem. If anyone has any helpful suggestions I would love to hear it.

 

[MarzMD]

I think you guys missed the point. I was commiserating because I too am shy around the docs at the hospital. I wish I could bring myself to say Hi to them, but I can't. I didn't expect them to come rushing over to me and make me feel warm and fuzzy, just a simple Hello would have been nice. How am I supposed to get up the nerve to intorduce myself if they never so much as make eye contact with me? And no - it is not THAT busy, I am volunteering in a small community hospital ER. I was hoping this thread might have a bit of advice for others like me, but thanks for making me feel like an uptight princess with an attitude problem. If anyone has any helpful suggestions I would love to hear it.

I have worked in the ED for about a year doing research. At first, I was not "scared" of doctors, I just never had reason to talk to them. And no, they will probably not acknowledge you if you have no type of work contact with them(so many people come and go through the ED). Luckily, my job required me to ask the residents and attendings a lot of questions, so I eventually got to know several of them and talk to them on a regular basis.

So my advice would be to just ask them clincal questions, ask them if you can observe any traumas, or ask one if you can observe them taking a history or doing some type of procedure. Once the lines of communication are open, they will be more friendly.

 

[tiger_lily]

It can be easy to get caught up in "hero worship". When I was a teenager I felt this way about the paramedics and firefighters I started volunteering with. After several years of this, I definitely got over it! Now I see it sometimes in others (when I'm in uniform) and I do everything I can to dispell the myth. It really helped with the doctor end of things when I had friends go through med school... and then when I ended up dating one during his residency 😀 LOL. It never even crossed my mind in the day-to-day stuff that he was a doc, you know? It's just a job (albeit a very cool one!), not an endowment of supernatural powers. They do lots of stupid things too. Whenever I do something stupid my best friend rolls her eyes and says "Doctors of tomorrow....." and we laugh. Keeps me humble 😉
~TL~

 

[SanDiegoSOD]

It's a lot easier to introduce yourself to someone if you have something to follow up with after the initial hello. In this case, you can say hello, and then let them know that you're eager to help them in any way possible. Some of them might say "ok, thanks", and then move on without ever thinking about it again, but other docs will go out of there way to show you a thing or two, especially if it's not busy.

 

[mjl1717]

Im not coming down on you and I can empathize with you. But get use to talking to docs and others fast,fast because as a P.A. and doctor to be. Id say even with the exams a good 50% of this arena is communicating well to people which most take for granted. But I find it take experience, breaking down cultural and social barriers, women getting over their femininity, and a handle on that point in time. {for example try to find out what the doc likes or his expertise, bring him a new article in his specialty and use that as an icebreaker}, but remember you have 2 ears to listen and only one mouth to talk-in other words dont talk too much.

 

[angel80]

Im not coming down on you and I can empathize with you. But get use to talking to docs and others fast, fast because as a P.A. and doctor to be. Id say even with the exams a good 50% of this arena is communicating well to people which most take for granted. But I find it take experience, breaking down cultural and social barriers, women getting over their femininity and a handle on that point in time. {for example try to find out what the doc likes or his expertise, bring him a new article in his specialty and use that as an icebreaker}, but remember you have 2 ears to listen and only one mouth to talk-in other words dont talk too much

I agree. Also, as a med student, especially in 3rd and 4th years, you need to be assertive. No one is going to hold your hand and guide you through it. You need to take the initiative and be extremely vocal, or else you will miss out on a ton of learning experiences. In my very first rotation of 3rd year, there was another student on the team, who seemed absolutely terrified of the attending (and the attending was actually a very nice guy who never yelled or got upset). She never spoke unless the attending asked her a queston, and even then, you could see how nervous she was. I was on the same team with that student during my second to last rotation of 4th year. She was a completely different person! She was more confident and asked a ton of questions. I was so happy that she had gotten over her fears and anxiety. It's definately possible to overcome the anxiety. Most of the doctors you will come across are extremely friendly and helpful. Make sure when you meet them to introduce yourself and shake their hand. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Some doctors are total jerks. If you do happen to come across them (and you most likely will), just remember, it's them, not you. They're the ones with personality problems. Don't take anything they say personally. Good luck to you in med school!

 

[LuckyBambooGirl]

I used to feel really intimidated around doctors, and even around Ph.D's. With time, it will lessen and then go away completely. What helped me was just being around doctors and seeing that they are just regular people. I just finished my first year of medical school, and before that I worked in a lab for a year. Now I don't have a problem asking doctors questions. None of them has ever made me feel like I asked a stupid question or been insulting to me. Don't stress about feeling intimidated, just relax and focus on getting the most you possibly can out of your volunteer experience.

 

[Sondra]

I don't have a problem communicating with anyone. I look at everyone the same...as a person, an individual... This includes all of the doctors I have talked with. In return, they usually treat me the same. I have met a lot of people that feel the same way you do. I was surprised when a coworked told me not to disagree with a physician that worked out of our office. I found out that most of the people I worked with seemed to glorify physicians as someone too intimidating to talk to. It made me crazy that the people in my office were like this, but I just don't feel that I needed to act this way.

 

[Wackie]

I too am scared of doctors. Unfortunatly, the ED I'm in is very busy. The doctors are constantly running which leaves very few opportunities.

I think I might try to catch one viewing an x-ray without the curtain fully drawn and ask, "What cha lookin for?"
That's my newest idea anyway. I'm sure I'll chicken out and walk by. 🙄

There is one doctor who has tried. I think he became curious after bringing a bunch of candy for Easter (read: bribe them!) I didn't see him again until a few weekends ago and he asked if I was a premed. My answers were all one worded.
Later, he showed concern for putting some vials together with rubber bands saying I'd get carpal tunnel. (insert nerd snort here)

That's how that went. I'm sure they think I'm handicapped.
My concern is being a PIA. I'm very curious, but realize they have a job to do and don't want to get in the way. That's a big reason for me being so timid.

 

[JackBauERfan]

Is it the docs responsibility to go out of his way to make you feel welcome? Perhaps you come across as stand-offish, or worse, anti-social. I probably wouldn't approach a volunteer if I thought the conversation was going to feel like pulling teeth. On the other hand, if you were to say "hi, I'm X, I'm a new volunteer here and am willing to help in any way - let me know if I can get something for you." You might sound like a kiss-a**, but at least you'll be introduced and you'll probably see a lot more action around the ER.

It just depends on the doctor I guess. I'm pretty talkative person, and told friendly too. I was thinking what I would do if I saw a volunteer. As long as I wasn't knee deep in patients and running around everywhere, I would make time to meet the "new" person in the ED. And if they were volunteering would "pimp" them for sure hahaahahahahaha. Just joking I'd ask EASY questions, really.

 

[JackBauERfan]

I too am scared of doctors. Unfortunatly, the ED I'm in is very busy. The doctors are constantly running which leaves very few opportunities.

I think I might try to catch one viewing an x-ray without the curtain fully drawn and ask, "What cha lookin for?"
That's my newest idea anyway. I'm sure I'll chicken out and walk by. 🙄

There is one doctor who has tried. I think he became curious after bringing a bunch of candy for Easter (read: bribe them!) I didn't see him again until a few weekends ago and he asked if I was a premed. My answers were all one worded.
Later, he showed concern for putting some vials together with rubber bands saying I'd get carpal tunnel. (insert nerd snort here)

That's how that went. I'm sure they think I'm handicapped.
My concern is being a PIA. I'm very curious, but realize they have a job to do and don't want to get in the way. That's a big reason for me being so timid.

Maybe the reason is because the place you are at is not an academic institution. I've volunteered/shadowed at community places as well as academic ones and there is a significant difference. I also think this is a fair difference because when the doctors think "where do I want to work" they take into account how much teaching they want to do. I think most folks that go into the community really are not looking for the teaching part of medicine (not that they are not good, or would not if the need arised); and thats why some of them are still trying and good at it. In short I think the percentage of doctors who would interact with a volunteer/shadower is more in academic (medical school affiliated) places.