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Now that your class matched, if any seniors want represent Path, you are free to give any dermies a Code Red.
Im throwing this out as optional...
- Thread starter LADoc00
- Start date
B
b&ierstiefel
Why not a Dirty Sanchez? Or even better yet, a Hot Carl? No, scratch that...why not just go to their apartment and give them a Nuclear Carl?
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AndyMilonakis said:
First off, most people use Dirty Sanchez and Hot Carl as synonyms, secondly there is no such recognized term as "Nuclear Carl."
Stop ***** footing, go right for the Donkey Punch!
B
b&ierstiefel
Hot Carl = the actual act of ****ting on someone's face.LADoc00 said:
Dirty Sanchez = you draw a **** mustache on someone's face = artwork.
Nuclear Carl = you wrap **** in a paper bag or saran wrap, put it in someone's microwave, and heat.
Why just pussyfoot with the Donkey Punch when one can go for the grand slam home run with Rodeosex?
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Nuns are admitted to Heaven through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels. Several nuns are lined up at the gate waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy.
"And so," says St. Peter, "Have you ever had any contact with a penis?"
"Well," says the first Nun in line, "I did once just touch the tip of one
with the tip of my finger."
"OK" says St. Peter, "Dip your finger in the holy water and pass on into
heaven."
The next Nun admits that "Well, yes, I did once get carried away and I, you
know, sort of massaged one
a bit."
"OK" says St. Peter, "Rinse your hand in the holy water and pass on into
heaven."
Suddenly, there is some jostling in the line, and one of the nuns is trying
to cut in front.
"Well now, what's going on here?" says St. Peter.
"Well, your excellency," says the Nun who is trying to improve her position
in line,
"If I'm going to have to gargle that stuff, I want to do it before Sister
Mary Thomas sticks her as$ in it!!!"😀
"And so," says St. Peter, "Have you ever had any contact with a penis?"
"Well," says the first Nun in line, "I did once just touch the tip of one
with the tip of my finger."
"OK" says St. Peter, "Dip your finger in the holy water and pass on into
heaven."
The next Nun admits that "Well, yes, I did once get carried away and I, you
know, sort of massaged one
a bit."
"OK" says St. Peter, "Rinse your hand in the holy water and pass on into
heaven."
Suddenly, there is some jostling in the line, and one of the nuns is trying
to cut in front.
"Well now, what's going on here?" says St. Peter.
"Well, your excellency," says the Nun who is trying to improve her position
in line,
"If I'm going to have to gargle that stuff, I want to do it before Sister
Mary Thomas sticks her as$ in it!!!"😀
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3 virgins were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
It said: "Good till the last drop."
Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans" Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack:"Extra Long. King Size"
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky hand writing were the words "South African Airways"
Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.
The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
It said: "Good till the last drop."
Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans" Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack:"Extra Long. King Size"
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky hand writing were the words "South African Airways"
Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.
The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."
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The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, " I'm off. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
" Good morning madam. I've come to . . . . ."
" Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
" Really ?" the photographer asked. " Well, good ! I've made a specialty of babies."
" That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."
After a moment she asked, blushing, " Well, where do we start ?"
" Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too. You can really spread out !"
" Bathtub . . . living room floor ? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and
me." " Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time . . . but if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
" My, my, that's a lot of . . . ." gasped Mrs. Smith.
" Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in
and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
" Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith muttered.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures . . ." This was done on the top of a bus."
" Oh my god ! !" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
" And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with."
" She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.
" Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."
" Four and five deep ?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
" Yes," the photographer said . . . "and for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling . . . I could hardly
concentrate ! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. " You mean they actually chewed on your um
equipment ?"
" That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that
we can get to work."
" Tripod ? ? ?"
" Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long. Madam ? Madam ? . . . Good Lord . . . . she's fainted ! !"
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
" Good morning madam. I've come to . . . . ."
" Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
" Really ?" the photographer asked. " Well, good ! I've made a specialty of babies."
" That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."
After a moment she asked, blushing, " Well, where do we start ?"
" Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too. You can really spread out !"
" Bathtub . . . living room floor ? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and
me." " Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time . . . but if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
" My, my, that's a lot of . . . ." gasped Mrs. Smith.
" Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in
and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
" Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith muttered.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures . . ." This was done on the top of a bus."
" Oh my god ! !" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
" And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with."
" She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.
" Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."
" Four and five deep ?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
" Yes," the photographer said . . . "and for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling . . . I could hardly
concentrate ! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. " You mean they actually chewed on your um
equipment ?"
" That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that
we can get to work."
" Tripod ? ? ?"
" Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long. Madam ? Madam ? . . . Good Lord . . . . she's fainted ! !"
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Yeah! Let's all hate on ppl we don't really even know! Its be awesome! Cause you know dat if someone goes for derm dey must be ebil! Just thinking about how ebil dey are will make your skin crawl!
