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It feels extremely crazy to be posting this after not being active for over 7 years. What a rollercoaster of a career this has been. I've visited here from time to time and it's nice to see those of you have been around for all that time and reading about some of the positive changes in your careers since then. without further ado...
I don't want to bore anyone with any details regarding my career and I will try to get straight to the point.
Due to a variety of factors, none of which I'll go into, I ended up at a terrible residency which had severely compromised surgical training. I know some people will already be thinking that I should have left, and though I agree (in hindsight), there were personal factors with family that tied me down to that location, as well as promises from the residency about upcoming changes. Ofcourse, none of these changes ever came, and despite us pleading with CPME about our situation from year 1, they did not care. I also know people will want me to disclose which residency program this is, but I will decline to do that at this time. I do believe that the residency has since changed for the better with some structural and management changes and I would not want any of my comments to reflect poorly on the progress that has been made. I feel as though I attended my residency program during the worst 3 years of it, when it had abysmal training, which is quite unfortunate.
Anyway, so I eventually graduated from the program feeling extremely unconfident in my surgical skill and have been working for a private practice as an associate over the past few years. My situation is not terrible financially (though it's not great), and I know that I'm probably getting mustached by the owner, but I feel like it can be much worse. My current boss is mostly aware of my situation and has been willing to mentor me in surgery, but he is quite limited in his scope and does not perform a lot of surgery, which limits my opportunity to learn. I have done a handful of cases over the past few years that have turned out okay, but I can't shake the feeling of anxiety I feel booking any case. Additionally, it feels terrible to feel compromised regarding how I can help my patients. For example, my residency barely showed me any tendon repairs (my boss doesn't do them either), and I want to be able to do tendon work on my patients without feeling that I don't have the skills for it. I'm not looking to do crazy ankle recons, just want to be able to offer what I feel is basic foot/rearfoot surgical services to my patients.
The purpose of this post is to ask what opportunities are available for me to improve my surgical skills. I don't know if this looks like finding the right mentorship situation, attending courses/conferences, doing a fellowship, going back into training (absolutely bonkers idea), or just learning on my own time using videos/books. Unfortunately, my life is busy and currently resolves around my very small children, so certain options are definitely more difficult to execute. I don't have a ton of free time but my family and I are willing to make adjustments if it benefits me and my career. My wife keeps telling me to go to a fellowship and says that we will figure it out. In hindsight, maybe I should have as "remedial/extra" training but I did not pursue that route post-graduation. I know they aren't popular in this forum but I'm really not sure what the best options are for me. It also feels that the problem with good fellowships is that they are pursued by residents who come from good programs (that don't need the additional training) and that has become the expectation by those fellowships. When I spoke with previous residents from my program who went to fellowship (most of which had some level of compromised training), they stated that they had to lie about the training they received and that you just have to "fake it till you make it". I know that this mentality applies to a lot of different career paths, but I just can't get behind that when it comes to real life consequences of operating on someone's body. This is the exact trouble I have today. Like sure, can I "wing" a tendon repair? Probably. And maybe that's the only way to improve? However, my morality prevents me from not sending a patient to go see someone more experienced and "better". Like wouldn't I want that for my own parents/spouse/children?
Ultimately, the reality of the situation might be me just having to make most of the career that I made. I understand very well that there were a lot of career decisions that were in my control and this mostly my fault. I'm willing to sleep in the bed that I made, but if there are any strategies/recommendations that any of you know that could help, I would greatly appreciate it. Or if any of you absolute bosses would be willing to take someone, who is truly willing to work hard and learn, under their wing, I would be forever grateful. I'm sure this post will be met some negativity but I'm willing to take online bashing for sake of improving myself for my children.
Holy **** this became a rant and was totally not "straight to the point". Sorry y'all.
TLDR: Poor surgical trained podiatrist wondering what avenues exist to improve his surgical skills. TIA.
I don't want to bore anyone with any details regarding my career and I will try to get straight to the point.
Due to a variety of factors, none of which I'll go into, I ended up at a terrible residency which had severely compromised surgical training. I know some people will already be thinking that I should have left, and though I agree (in hindsight), there were personal factors with family that tied me down to that location, as well as promises from the residency about upcoming changes. Ofcourse, none of these changes ever came, and despite us pleading with CPME about our situation from year 1, they did not care. I also know people will want me to disclose which residency program this is, but I will decline to do that at this time. I do believe that the residency has since changed for the better with some structural and management changes and I would not want any of my comments to reflect poorly on the progress that has been made. I feel as though I attended my residency program during the worst 3 years of it, when it had abysmal training, which is quite unfortunate.
Anyway, so I eventually graduated from the program feeling extremely unconfident in my surgical skill and have been working for a private practice as an associate over the past few years. My situation is not terrible financially (though it's not great), and I know that I'm probably getting mustached by the owner, but I feel like it can be much worse. My current boss is mostly aware of my situation and has been willing to mentor me in surgery, but he is quite limited in his scope and does not perform a lot of surgery, which limits my opportunity to learn. I have done a handful of cases over the past few years that have turned out okay, but I can't shake the feeling of anxiety I feel booking any case. Additionally, it feels terrible to feel compromised regarding how I can help my patients. For example, my residency barely showed me any tendon repairs (my boss doesn't do them either), and I want to be able to do tendon work on my patients without feeling that I don't have the skills for it. I'm not looking to do crazy ankle recons, just want to be able to offer what I feel is basic foot/rearfoot surgical services to my patients.
The purpose of this post is to ask what opportunities are available for me to improve my surgical skills. I don't know if this looks like finding the right mentorship situation, attending courses/conferences, doing a fellowship, going back into training (absolutely bonkers idea), or just learning on my own time using videos/books. Unfortunately, my life is busy and currently resolves around my very small children, so certain options are definitely more difficult to execute. I don't have a ton of free time but my family and I are willing to make adjustments if it benefits me and my career. My wife keeps telling me to go to a fellowship and says that we will figure it out. In hindsight, maybe I should have as "remedial/extra" training but I did not pursue that route post-graduation. I know they aren't popular in this forum but I'm really not sure what the best options are for me. It also feels that the problem with good fellowships is that they are pursued by residents who come from good programs (that don't need the additional training) and that has become the expectation by those fellowships. When I spoke with previous residents from my program who went to fellowship (most of which had some level of compromised training), they stated that they had to lie about the training they received and that you just have to "fake it till you make it". I know that this mentality applies to a lot of different career paths, but I just can't get behind that when it comes to real life consequences of operating on someone's body. This is the exact trouble I have today. Like sure, can I "wing" a tendon repair? Probably. And maybe that's the only way to improve? However, my morality prevents me from not sending a patient to go see someone more experienced and "better". Like wouldn't I want that for my own parents/spouse/children?
Ultimately, the reality of the situation might be me just having to make most of the career that I made. I understand very well that there were a lot of career decisions that were in my control and this mostly my fault. I'm willing to sleep in the bed that I made, but if there are any strategies/recommendations that any of you know that could help, I would greatly appreciate it. Or if any of you absolute bosses would be willing to take someone, who is truly willing to work hard and learn, under their wing, I would be forever grateful. I'm sure this post will be met some negativity but I'm willing to take online bashing for sake of improving myself for my children.
Holy **** this became a rant and was totally not "straight to the point". Sorry y'all.
TLDR: Poor surgical trained podiatrist wondering what avenues exist to improve his surgical skills. TIA.