In need of pep talk from my fellow non-trad!

[Ebete]

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So I have just come back from visiting one of the schools I am very interested in, and just feel drained. Maybe it was the drive and traffic or the the bad DD coffee I picked up on the way, or the "Oh your pre-application is just perfect for our school, but..." dam old u/g records! don't they know we had dam good reason for those C's and B's! I am so discruntelled about the whole managing school/family/everything else! Anyone else having a guilt problem about having to put your family thru all this? And now my lovelly husband is criticizing my need to always having to achieve something grandiose...why can't I be ok with becoming a PA or a NP???? or just a sccer mom!!!! why???
sorry for the rant, it doesn't happen often, but every now and then, I get to break down, luckily its on SDN and not around the kids!
Why am I doing this again?😳

 

[LingoLaine]

Why am I doing this again?

Because you don't want to be 75 and filled with regret for not having pursued your dream.

We all have moments of doubt, but this one usually helps me refocus. Sorry so short -- have to run.

 

[Ebete]

Because you don't want to be 75 and filled with regret for not having pursued your dream.

We all have moments of doubt, but this one usually helps me refocus. Sorry so short -- have to run.

Thank you LingoLaine for your thoughts, I agree I really don't want to have any regrets, unfortunatelly our dreams come with a price tag, I need to learn to live with.
Better a short than a nothing pep!

 

[mspeedwagon]

Well, it's clear what you want and what it takes to accomplish it. No one ever said it was going to be easy.

As to why you would never be satisfied as an NP or PA... well, it's because the dream is to be a doctor. From the nature of work, to compensation, to just about any facet of life, you'll never be satisfied as NP or PA if physician is your ultimate goal.

Just take some time each day to do what makes you feel best and get ready to fight another day. For me it's listening to Eminem lyrics, "if you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted-One moment Would you capture it or just let it slip?" "Some days I just wanna up and call it quits,I feel like I’m surrounded by a wall of bricks,
Everytime I go to get up I just fall in piss."

I'm not advocating that you become an Eminem or rap fan, but often times songs like those of Eminem above remind me of not quitting on a dream. The best things in life are hard to accomplish. We'll get there in the end (just never forget where you came from).

 

[murfettie]

well, you are just not satisfied with a pa np soccer mom life, wutcha gonna do willis...
might as well not worry about it and just pursue it.
(i wish i was happy being a pa or np too, but that's not a case)

 

[carl414]

Mspeedwagon you have the right idea, one of my favorite lyrics are from that song - "success is my only M.F. option!- failure's not!"

In a tough wind up career as this, you need to stay focused... keeping the eye on the prize.

 

[EdLongshanks]

And now my lovelly husband is criticizing my need to always having to achieve something grandiose...why can't I be ok with becoming a PA or a NP????

It's not terribly fair to our spouses. Even when they are "supportive" that doesn't mean that truly empathize. It is, after all, not really their dream. They are just putting up with our delusions of grandeur.

And, let's face it, they are really not going to reap the benefits. My wife lived with me, once, through building a career. It's not really fair to expect her to do it again - only to have to live the life of a busy doctor's wife after that.

So, why do we ask them to go through all of this. Let's face it, it's for selfish reasons. We want to be called "Doctor."

And the answer to them is basically not fair either. I'm doing this because I can't stand not to. You don't want to live with me disappointed - having this opportunity and not taking it. It's part of the "for better or worse" bargain. I'll try to make it up to you in some other way, some day.

 

[Ebete]

Well, it's clear what you want and what it takes to accomplish it. No one ever said it was going to be easy.

As to why you would never be satisfied as an NP or PA... well, it's because the dream is to be a doctor. From the nature of work, to compensation, to just about any facet of life, you'll never be satisfied as NP or PA if physician is your ultimate goal.

Just take some time each day to do what makes you feel best and get ready to fight another day. For me it's listening to Eminem lyrics, "if you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted-One moment Would you capture it or just let it slip?" "Some days I just wanna up and call it quits,I feel like I’m surrounded by a wall of bricks,
Everytime I go to get up I just fall in piss."

I'm not advocating that you become an Eminem or rap fan, but often times songs like those of Eminem above remind me of not quitting on a dream. The best things in life are hard to accomplish. We'll get there in the end (just never forget where you came from).

you are so right, they are good lyrics, I was humming along the tune as I was reading...Thank You!

 

[Ebete]

well, you are just not satisfied with a pa np soccer mom life, wutcha gonna do willis...
might as well not worry about it and just pursue it.
(i wish i was happy being a pa or np too, but that's not a case)

Wow seems everyone has a sence of humor today! Thank you!!!! You are also right, pursue is what we do...that's wutcha ya talkn'bout!

Can you tell I feel better today? btw, I reviewed my schedule (MCAT) and decided to change things up a bit, it was getting a little too dry (following the Wikipremed) .... change is good!

 

[Ebete]

Mspeedwagon you have the right idea, one of my favorite lyrics are from that song - "success is my only M.F. option!- failure's not!"

In a tough wind up career as this, you need to stay focused... keeping the eye on the prize.

So true...who would think a bunch of future docs 😀 would would have Eminem as a pick-me -up in common! Cool!!!!

 

[Ebete]

It's not terribly fair to our spouses. Even when they are "supportive" that doesn't mean that truly empathize. It is, after all, not really their dream. They are just putting up with our delusions of grandeur.

And, let's face it, they are really not going to reap the benefits. My wife lived with me, once, through building a career. It's not really fair to expect her to do it again - only to have to live the life of a busy doctor's wife after that.

So, why do we ask them to go through all of this. Let's face it, it's for selfish reasons. We want to be called "Doctor."

And the answer to them is basically not fair either. I'm doing this because I can't stand not to. You don't want to live with me disappointed - having this opportunity and not taking it. It's part of the "for better or worse" bargain. I'll try to make it up to you in some other way, some day.

Very true Ed, sacrifice of their part is a tough one to swallow for me. I was talking to an old friend of mine and what he was saying also made a lot of sence too; I have been seeing things in my husband's perspective (when is this medical thing going to end already...not what he is saying but probably what he is thinking) I just feel awful putting them tru this, and have to pretend it doesn't bother me. Yes I know I need to work on letting that go... I need to think about all the years I have put in, and all the other sacrifices the family made along the way to now decided to throw it all away? THAT doesn't seem right either, I owe it to myself AND my husband & kids to finish this. Plus I can't think like I am going to be sacrificing them for the next 20 years...yes there will be some rough years, but hopefully things can settle. And in 15 yrs or so, when my kids are doing their thing, what am I going to be thinking? yep, on what a looser I was for quitting, not to mention the bad example for my kids!
Thanks ED!!!!!! BTW Are you done w/ the MCAT?

 

[ruraldocmom]

I just wanted to say "Go you!" for going after this dream. And I wanted to share something from my own experience (I'm 29, married, 2 kids).

I visited the school I was most interested in about a year and a half ago. I talked to their admissions representative (ie. recruiter), who was nice, but told me I probably wouldn't get in with my C's from undergraduate (O-chem & Physics kicked my butt!). What I didn't know then, was that he didn't really know what he was talking about!

Anyway, I retook O-chem as a night class and earned A minuses, and was planning on taking a few more years to retake courses. However, life things happened, and I found myself taking the MCAT & applying a year before I had planned. I was really nervous about it--were my ducks all lined up in a row--did I have a chance at all?

The crazy thing is that my interviewer asked me why didn't I apply straight out of undergrad? I said, well--I didn't think I could get in with those grades. He said--I think you probably could have. !!!!!

Anyway... I got accepted to that same school-- it is an in-state, M.D., early decision program and start next fall!

All that to say, my goal is to be a rural physician and make a huge difference by giving a **** about people/communities/preventative health and how all those things are connected. I want to be a physician because I think I'll have the most credibility to make the changes I want to make. But my husband and I had a deal--The first year I would apply to MD and DO schools. If no acceptances, the second year, I would apply to MD, DO, NP and PA schools. I felt like I could make a difference with any program, but I needed to know that first I went after the big dream... the MD.

All that to say--good luck, don't give up, and don't let some prick affect you because he/she can't ask the right questions about your life experiences & the challenges you've overcome that will make you a far better doctor than some on-paper-high-numbers-head-in-the-books-no-social-skills pre-med. If you want this dream--you can make it happen!

 

[ruraldocmom]

It's not terribly fair to our spouses.
So, why do we ask them to go through all of this. Let's face it, it's for selfish reasons. We want to be called "Doctor."

And the answer to them is basically not fair either. I'm doing this because I can't stand not to. You don't want to live with me disappointed - having this opportunity and not taking it. It's part of the "for better or worse" bargain. I'll try to make it up to you in some other way, some day.

Wow, Ed--you summed that up exactly!

 

[Ebete]

Yes people I am back and feeling much better, I had an old friend giving me a good kick in the *****, and a couple of hugs! Thank you again for the dialogue, it really helps to pour our thoughts out when things aren't going so well, at the same time helping and pushing each other towards our goal. I think I'm going to start a moral support thread for non-trads w/ kids or higher responsibilities. Feels good to let it out, but also feels great to be able to pick someone else up!

Thanks again!

 

[Ebete]

I just wanted to say "Go you!" for going after this dream. And I wanted to share something from my own experience (I'm 29, married, 2 kids).

I visited the school I was most interested in about a year and a half ago. I talked to their admissions representative (ie. recruiter), who was nice, but told me I probably wouldn't get in with my C's from undergraduate (O-chem & Physics kicked my butt!). What I didn't know then, was that he didn't really know what he was talking about!

Anyway, I retook O-chem as a night class and earned A minuses, and was planning on taking a few more years to retake courses. However, life things happened, and I found myself taking the MCAT & applying a year before I had planned. I was really nervous about it--were my ducks all lined up in a row--did I have a chance at all?

The crazy thing is that my interviewer asked me why didn't I apply straight out of undergrad? I said, well--I didn't think I could get in with those grades. He said--I think you probably could have. !!!!!

Anyway... I got accepted to that same school-- it is an in-state, M.D., early decision program and start next fall!

All that to say, my goal is to be a rural physician and make a huge difference by giving a **** about people/communities/preventative health and how all those things are connected. I want to be a physician because I think I'll have the most credibility to make the changes I want to make. But my husband and I had a deal--The first year I would apply to MD and DO schools. If no acceptances, the second year, I would apply to MD, DO, NP and PA schools. I felt like I could make a difference with any program, but I needed to know that first I went after the big dream... the MD.

All that to say--good luck, don't give up, and don't let some prick affect you because he/she can't ask the right questions about your life experiences & the challenges you've overcome that will make you a far better doctor than some on-paper-high-numbers-head-in-the-books-no-social-skills pre-med. If you want this dream--you can make it happen!

WOW I just got the chills as I was reading your post. THANK YOU! I am still planning on applying as I had previously planned, but now I am also going to put in applications (this Oct.) for SMP and masters program. I actually have visited a few schools and they all pretty much said the same thing, since I have been out of school for a while and my gpa needs enhanccement, they either want me to re-take the pre-recs I got lower than a B- plus a few more to really change my gpa or do a smp, just to show them I can still kick butt (I took a few grad courses and have 4.0 but still...a few yrs ago🙁). So yes work needs to be done, on the positive side, ALL the schools I visited said I have an amazing application (minus the u/g gpa of course), and gave me great compliments about my life and how I have come thru.
YOU are inspiring to us! thank you for sharing your story, and I wish you happiness and success...let us know the progress!!! keep in touch, E.