In response to "sad moments" question, suitable to discuss breakups?

[daliesquedreams]

In med interviews, when you're asked about sad moments in your life, what's the protocol on talking about relationship breakups (if the relationship was long and committed)? Will that seem silly and inane?

Also, when you're asked about difficult experiences, is it a big no no to talk about sexual harassment experiences involving an older mentor?

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[Avoidthetiger]

1. I don't know how appropriate it is to discuss a break-up. I have heard it is OK to talk about family issues that have resulted in family splits/fueds and your regret/saddness of being unable to talk to the other side of the family. The break-up might be OK as it gives insight into you that adds to your character... but at the same time... these really personal issue do seem touchy

2. For some of my difficult experience essays I have used a case with sexual harassment with a fellow peer and how my actions led to his dismissal from the university. of course, I used this story two-years ago when I applied and no one interviewed me -- and the schools that look at old applications have not invited me to an interview... so maybe it wasn't appropriate. I think though that if you actually took appropriate steps with dealing with this mentor and came to a solution (other than ditching the job and running away), than it is acceptable to talk about and show your ability to deal with stress/an extreme difficult situation and keep your head and find a solution (and maybe even show some leadership skills). Keep it short and to the point though.

 

[DaisyBuchanan]

Those are tricky questions... I'd say it's time to send the LizzyM beacon out into the sky and see if she responds.

 

[LizzyM]

Those are tricky questions... I'd say it's time to send the LizzyM beacon out into the sky and see if she responds.

LOL

Funny how that works....

As for the OP's question: some adcom members (men, cough, cough) seem put off by romance-gone-wrong. Others might find it genuine although it can also give the impression that you are young and inexperienced in the vissitudes of life.

Sexual harrassment is something I'd stay away from discussing... particularly if your interviewer is of the opposite sex. I just think that some men get defensive when they hear these stories about other men.

For sad, why not consider a time when something disappointing or unfortunate happened and there was nothing that you could do about it. Maybe a friend told you they were dropping out of school because of a family crisis, a relative's marriage broke up, a talented new grad can't find employment, or someone you know shows signs of Alzheimer's disease or some other incurable condition.

 

[wristbandMD]

Sexual harrassment is something I'd stay away from discussing... particularly if your interviewer is of the opposite sex. I just think that some men get defensive when they hear these stories about other men.

What about physical/emotional/verbal abuse? (No sexual abuse involved). If I were to receive this question my first thought would be to discuss my biological father and explain how the abuse I suffered as a child has made me a stronger person. I feel that this is one of the saddest moments in my life and overcoming the hardship and coping with the emotional repercussions down the road was not easy, but I did it.

Would it be appropriate to use such an anecdote in essays/interviews for medical school?

 

[LizzyM]

What about physical/emotional/verbal abuse? (No sexual abuse involved). If I were to receive this question my first thought would be to discuss my biological father and explain how the abuse I suffered as a child has made me a stronger person. I feel that this is one of the saddest moments in my life and overcoming the hardship and coping with the emotional repercussions down the road was not easy, but I did it.

Would it be appropriate to use such an anecdote in essays/interviews for medical school?

I have some reservations about this sort of thing...

first of all, you are reporting bad (even illegal) behavior on the part of an other person.

second, there isn't a prize for the saddest story -- the question is usually to assess your coping skills as a mature adult

third, sometimes those who have been abused become abusers and you don't want to plant that idea in an interviewer's head....

fourth, there might be some concern that you will not respond in an appropriate manner when faced with verbal abuse in a clinical setting (it shouldn't happen but it does)


Sometimes the first thought that comes to mind or the most shocking event of your life is not the best approach to the question.

 

[wristbandMD]

I have some reservations about this sort of thing...

first of all, you are reporting bad (even illegal) behavior on the part of an other person.

second, there isn't a prize for the saddest story -- the question is usually to assess your coping skills as a mature adult

third, sometimes those who have been abused become abusers and you don't want to plant that idea in an interviewer's head....

fourth, there might be some concern that you will not respond in an appropriate manner when faced with verbal abuse in a clinical setting (it shouldn't happen but it does)


Sometimes the first thought that comes to mind or the most shocking event of your life is not the best approach to the question.

Thank you! I'm glad I asked this question well before my application. I hadn't considered all of the points you made.

 

[CaliGirl14]

what about being sick yourself?

 

[Shaptown]

In med interviews, when you're asked about sad moments in your life, what's the protocol on talking about relationship breakups (if the relationship was long and committed)? Will that seem silly and inane?

Also, when you're asked about difficult experiences, is it a big no no to talk about sexual harassment experiences involving an older mentor?

I think it is fine to talk about your breakup. As for the talk about the sexual harassment for that specific question, I think that is a very bad idea.

What i would honestly do is SWITCH what you were going to say. So basically, regarding a sad moment in your life, talk about the sexual harassment. For a difficult experience...attempting to maintain the relationship and eventually going through a breakup. I think that is a much better idea, and would actually allow you to effectively talk about both issues without pulling the pity card too much.

 

[lovebat]

I think it entirely depends on how you talk about it. I wrote about my and my previous girlfriend's relationship falling apart in my secondary for Duke and got invited to interview there. I'm sure that wasn't a make or break, but perhaps an indicator that it was not off-putting.

Realizing a relationship is not working, sticking by your beliefs even when they conflict with with someone you have invested so much emotion in, and having enough self-confidence to endure words that attack at what is inherently you are all signs of great maturity. I can't even begin to count the number of people I know who get incredibly bent out of shape over a relationship that completely sucks. Sometimes, things just don't click...and that is an important thing to realize about relationships whether it is personal OR professional, and it is about how we pursue/deal with these relationships that is important.

 

[RogueUnicorn]

Those are tricky questions... I'd say it's time to send the LizzyM beacon out into the sky and see if she responds.

 

[DaisyBuchanan]

Well played, bleargh. 👍

 

[RogueUnicorn]

why thank you

 

[deleted307836]

I love this