Interview question

[jepc]

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Just interviewed at a school in Texas, and was asked the question all nontraditional students are asked. You will be 30 something when you enter med school, and after 4 years of school, and another 6 years of residency will be 40 something when you are finished. How do you feel about that? I have often heard this while preparing for admission. I just never expected it during a formal interview. My reply was "I will be 40 something regardless of what I do in the next 10 years". I went on to explain what I meant, but the throughout the rest of the interview all that the interviewer centered on was my age. I have over 17 years working in medicine so the environment is not something which is foreign to me. I have worked the long hours, and I still do today. I am concerned, and hope I did not hurt my chances of getting accepted. Anybody else out there experience anything like this? Would really like some constructive input.

 

[gmoneytalks]

I'm a fairly young nontrad (just turned 26), but one interviewer at UTMB HOUNDED me about opportunity cost for a while. He knew I was an engineer and could make good money after I finished grad school this year and kept asking me if i was ok with forsaking x amount of money.

He came after me from different angles. I always answered with some variation of "i understand that the earnings i will lose in addition to my medical school debt will be substantial. however, i also understand myself very well and believe with my analytical skills (see engineering, etc.) and compassionate nature (see lifelong volunteering) that medicine is the best place for me. i know that i'll never be rich as a pediatrician, but I will be able to provide imo a great standard of living for myself and my future family." etc, etc.

Dunno though. I haven't been accepted at UTMB yet and honestly I don't see it happening (and really dont care since I'll be going to UT-H). I get the feeling that my interviewers at UTMB didnt really care either way if I went to their school or not. Maybe I got some bad interviewers or maybe UTMB isn't all that friendly to non-trads. I'll never know.

I dunno if you screwed yourself for acceptance 🙂luck: on getting in btw), but what you said may have sounded defensive (probably same way for me at UTMB). if you have other interviews then answer questions like that with concrete reasons why it is imperative for you to be an MD (skills, experience, social predisposition, etc. and back up with examples). In a calm, confident voice, "I hear what you're saying sir/ma'am (elaborate a little about your understanding of their concerns), but I feel that......." also, be exuberant; no doubt in my mind this helped me at UT-H. if you dont have other interviews worry as little as you can (i know, easier said than done), and hopefully you'll get in.

Just interviewed at a school in Texas, and was asked the question all nontraditional students are asked. You will be 30 something when you enter med school, and after 4 years of school, and another 6 years of residency will be 40 something when you are finished. How do you feel about that? I have often heard this while preparing for admission. I just never expected it during a formal interview. My reply was "I will be 40 something regardless of what I do in the next 10 years". I went on to explain what I meant, but the throughout the rest of the interview all that the interviewer centered on was my age. I have over 17 years working in medicine so the environment is not something which is foreign to me. I have worked the long hours, and I still do today. I am concerned, and hope I did not hurt my chances of getting accepted. Anybody else out there experience anything like this? Would really like some constructive input.

 

[DrMidlife]

Two things.

First, the interviewers, who have to drive it home that you're making a mistake by leaving a well-paying career for medicine, are wishing they had picked your career instead of medicine. They're no happier in their current career than you were in the one you're leaving.

Second, when something makes you stick out as a candidate that is fairly safe to discuss (age is safe, compared with sexual preference, disability, cancer history etc.), it's going to get discussed. These interviewers have seen so many kids that they all start to look alike.

OK one more. I've had innumerable people (most, not all, were older than me) turn into life coaches when they hear I'm going for this at age 41. Some of this is great, but who asked you, people? Consider a 50 year old attending who can't wait to retire, and has a big family/wine collection/insane mortgage on his shoulders, and never did anything but medicine and isn't liking it very much lately. He couldn't begin to comprehend why I'd want to do this. So even though he's where I want to be in 10 years, his advice just wasn't from the same planet I'm on.

So I say don't sweat it.

 

[Luxian]

I'm sure I'll have to answer this question at my first interview next week. You see, I'm 32 and furthermore a woman, so they'll probably be grilling me not only on my age but on my plans for children, etc. A little personal, but hey, they're the ones asking the questions.

Of course, I've thought about the age thing, but for me 40 is not too late. If I finish residency at 40, then I've got a good 25 year career ahead of me. That's at the minimum, since we all know social security won't be worth much by the time we get access to it. So let's say it's really more like 30 years. That is _well_ worth my investment.

I too came from engineering, but I've already made the switch to low pay by going into public health. I know what I'm taking on. I just think it's worth it.

 

[Phoenix.]

I'm sure I'll have to answer this question at my first interview next week. You see, I'm 32 and furthermore a woman, so they'll probably be grilling me not only on my age but on my plans for children, etc. A little personal, but hey, they're the ones asking the questions.

Of course, I've thought about the age thing, but for me 40 is not too late. If I finish residency at 40, then I've got a good 25 year career ahead of me. That's at the minimum, since we all know social security won't be worth much by the time we get access to it. So let's say it's really more like 30 years. That is _well_ worth my investment.

I too came from engineering, but I've already made the switch to low pay by going into public health. I know what I'm taking on. I just think it's worth it.

I'm 33 years old and female, and I've had six interviews so far. Not a single one asked me about my plans to have a family or how kids might work into medical school. Officially, they're not permitted to. Only one interviewer asked me how old I was when the interview started (although he obviously already knew), and then, traipsing on dangerous ground, asked if I had ever been married. That was it though. Had he probed further I would have reported him to the admissions office. Your admission to medical school should not in any way be impacted by your gender, marital or parental status or plans.

Every interviewer I've met has said how they value nontrads and the extra perspective and experience we bring to the table. Even the interviewer who asked me about my age acknowledged that when I asked what he thought of my "older" status. And no one has questioned the opportunity cost or lost income that I will "suffer" from quitting my job as a successful attorney. I think that it really just depends on the perspective and background of the interviewer as to whether any of those issues will come up.

Anyway, I just wanted to drive home that it's completely inappropriate for an interviewer to ask a female applicant about her plans for children and how that will work with med school. If you get an interviewer who gives you trouble about that, I recommend that you immediately go to the admissions office after the interview and let them know. They should give you an additional interview to take the place of that one. I know a female applicant last year who was grilled about whether her going to medical school was a good idea for her two children for the entire interview, and trust me, she really wishes she'd gone to the admissions office.

 

[DrMidlife]

Anyway, I just wanted to drive home that it's completely inappropriate for an interviewer to ask a female applicant about her plans for children and how that will work with med school. If you get an interviewer who gives you trouble about that, I recommend that you immediately go to the admissions office after the interview and let them know. They should give you an additional interview to take the place of that one. I know a female applicant last year who was grilled about whether her going to medical school was a good idea for her two children for the entire interview, and trust me, she really wishes she'd gone to the admissions office.

It's not inappropriate to question any applicant, male or female, about whether he/she has considered the ramifications of an extremely likely choice that has a huge impact on performance and success. I think all candidates should be asked about plans for family. Seriously, if you've thought about how you'd handle pregnancy and infant care during med school and residency, then "what are your plans for family?" exposes your maturity. How many young single men do you know who could answer this question? Doesn't it seem like keeping this question off-limits prevents normalization of starting a family in parallel with medical training?

To me it's a disaster for all parties involved when candidates are allowed to pretend they either won't be having kids or won't be affected by them. It's a disaster for all the future ex-wives and ex-husbands and custodial disputes of med students to have this not be part of the conversation at the get-go. And it's a disaster to not be allowed to talk about it. What a load.

 

[PhDtoDO]

I was over 30 when I interviewed and I was never asked that question. Just remember that they'll make most if not all the profs etc interview students.

I was asked how I got along with my parents...then spent the next hour talking about my parents. I was also asked whether I had a boyfriend. I was also asked about my genecological problems..not that I have any...but this was a 10 minute discussion with a female interviewer...I was totally disgusted by this woman, as you can imagine. I was also asked about katrina and how it felt to see so many of my friends and neighbors go through hell...I was also asked if I knew anyone who died...after a few questions on this line, I began to cry. It was only 3 months after the storm and I was again living in new orleans.

I liked your answer, but I agree that dragging this out for much of the interview probably has more to do with the interviewer than you. Just try to keep this in mind and don't 'react' if they dwell. They might be more in tune with your reaction than with anything you say.

Sorry to vent...but I think the interviewers are the most random part of the application...you get a good one -score! You get one that doesn't like your shoes or your age - just hope the next one goes better.

Don't sweat it, I know many many people over 30, over 40 who have gone to med school, who are in medical school and some in residency. It's not uncommon at all at most schools. That guy who interviewed you might have even given you a great review...who knows.

Just my opinion
Hated the interviews at schools I didn't get into
Enjoyed the ones I got accepted at
good luck!

PhDtoDO

 

[HanginInThere]

It's not inappropriate to question any applicant, male or female, about whether he/she has considered the ramifications of an extremely likely choice that has a huge impact on performance and success. I think all candidates should be asked about plans for family. Seriously, if you've thought about how you'd handle pregnancy and infant care during med school and residency, then "what are your plans for family?" exposes your maturity. How many young single men do you know who could answer this question? Doesn't it seem like keeping this question off-limits prevents normalization of starting a family in parallel with medical training?

For job interviews, it is illegal to ask a candidate about their age, country of origin, marital status, children, etc. I don't know whether there are any laws about med school interviews, and if not I'd guess that rules about what's allowed vary from school to school.

Pretty much all of my interviews have included discussions of my family and the thought I've given to how my choices will affect my wife and kids. And I'm happy to talk about these things, because they allow me to highlight my maturity, preparation, etc. But I'm able to do that because I'm a man and I don't expect anyone to hold my family/marital status against me. I don't think anyone's going to fault my entering the medical profession with kids, or worry that I might drop out after two years to start a family, or do any of the other things that the emloyment discrimination laws are designed to protect against.

If I were a woman, these discussions would have much higher stakes, and I'd be much more cautious about what I volunteered or what people were asking me. And depending on who asked me the question, how the question was worded, and what I thought they were asking behind the question, it could be either completely innocent or grossly inappropriate.

 

[kami333]

What about those of us who REALLY don't plan on having kids? Both my gf and I (both aiming for med school, hopefully MD/PhD so we'll be 40 by the time we earn any real money, lol) aren't especially fond of children, especially babies (sorry to any mothers and fathers out there), and we've talked about it and currently don't plan on having any, no "oops"s either. I just don't think some people were meant to procreate😉

Is it safe to discuss in interviews how your life plan isn't the typical one? ie doesn't really include kids, no house in suburbia with the white picket fence (I HATE suburbia, loath manicured lawns and all the excess fertilizer and water they require, we live in a semi-arid climate and water shortages have been in the headlines), etc. My first thought is to probably stay away from it since older folks might get offended.

 

[DrMidlife]

What about those of us who REALLY don't plan on having kids? Both my gf and I (both aiming for med school, hopefully MD/PhD so we'll be 40 by the time we earn any real money, lol) aren't especially fond of children, especially babies (sorry to any mothers and fathers out there), and we've talked about it and currently don't plan on having any, no "oops"s either. I just don't think some people were meant to procreate😉

Is it safe to discuss in interviews how your life plan isn't the typical one? ie doesn't really include kids, no house in suburbia with the white picket fence (I HATE suburbia, loath manicured lawns and all the excess fertilizer and water they require, we live in a semi-arid climate and water shortages have been in the headlines), etc. My first thought is to probably stay away from it since older folks might get offended.

I'm in the same boat: it's entirely true that I'm going to med school instead of having kids. At 38 I made the decision and then made it surgically permanent.

I'll be happy to talk about it in interviews if it comes up, or if it's relevant. But you're right, it's hard to tell who'll be offended by what.

 

[Kateb4]

It's not inappropriate to question any applicant, male or female, about whether he/she has considered the ramifications of an extremely likely choice that has a huge impact on performance and success. I think all candidates should be asked about plans for family. Seriously, if you've thought about how you'd handle pregnancy and infant care during med school and residency, then "what are your plans for family?" exposes your maturity. How many young single men do you know who could answer this question? Doesn't it seem like keeping this question off-limits prevents normalization of starting a family in parallel with medical training?

To me it's a disaster for all parties involved when candidates are allowed to pretend they either won't be having kids or won't be affected by them. It's a disaster for all the future ex-wives and ex-husbands and custodial disputes of med students to have this not be part of the conversation at the get-go. And it's a disaster to not be allowed to talk about it. What a load.

I agree. As a married woman and mom of three kids, one a newborn, I am hoping that they do ask me what my plans are for my family so I can show them that I have solid plans in place, and am well prepared for the future. Honestly, I think that everyone should be thinking about what is going to be going on in their personal lives over the course of medical school and residency. Med school is a commitment for us and them, and I think that we do need to convince them that we are a good candidate and will be able to follow through for the next 4 years. I'm not sure of the legality of asking these questions, but I really think that it is irresponsable for anyone to not have a solid answer for their own good.

 

[Law2Doc]

I'm a fairly young nontrad (just turned 26), but one interviewer at UTMB HOUNDED me about opportunity cost for a while. He knew I was an engineer and could make good money after I finished grad school this year and kept asking me if i was ok with forsaking x amount of money.

This is a very common line of questioning for career changers, and I expect it to become even more common given the current salary landscape. Truth of the matter is that medicine isn't the goldmine it once was, and many many career changer applicants are going to end up becoming a doctor at a huge loss of income, compared to staying put in their prior careers. Which shouldn't matter if it's really what you want to do. But it would be naive not to have considered the costs involved, and so interviewers try to make sure applicants truly understand that, in case they hadn't realized it, this path will very likely end up being a losing proposition.
The upside though is at least the adcoms know you aren't doing it for the money.

 

[t-funk]

I thought that by demonstrating that I could successfully raise two children, work a professional full-time job, handle extra pre-med and graduate coursework at the same time, prepare for and score in the average range on the MCAT, and maintain a somewhat above average GPA that I had more than proven my ability to handle stress and most likely medical school and that I would hardly be questioned about it more than any other applicant. During the course of my interviews, I found this to be not the case whatsoever.

If it can't be asked at a job interview, it should not be able to be asked during medical schools interviews. I have been on search committees for jobs at the lab that I work at and there is no way that we could get away with asking some of the questions that I was asked and the demeanor in which it was asked at my medical school interviews. As a part of a search committee, the questions asked are reported back to the main office and at search committee training you are instructed to immediately report any 'odd' or 'off-color' questions asked by other interviewers. The questions I was asked just wouldn't happen at a normal job interview.

All of my interviewers knew I had children bc it was in my PS. At two of my interviews, it wasn't really brought up but in passing. At another two, I was asked the logistics of having kids and going to med school and how I would handle it but nothing inapropriate. As soon as I answered the questions, they seemed satisfied and supportive. One of these interviewers actually told me during the interview that it was illegal to ask any questions about family but if you bring it up first, they can talk about it. Since I brought it up in my PS, it was free game. The other two interviews, I would consider to have been borderline to grossly inapropriate. In one of those interviews, the interviewers seemed really enthusiastic with supportive head nods until I mentioned in passing that I was divorced. One of the interviewers actually said, "Oh, I didn't realize" as if it made a difference and the feeling throughout the rest of the interview was never the same. During another interview which I actually considered making a complaint about but decided it wasn't worth it, the interviewer basically harrassed me about my ability to handle medical school with kids. When I mentioned that I was working full-time and taking classes, he said "Yeah, but you're only taking 2 classes at a time." When I mentioned that my first 3 semesters, I took 19, 22, and 24 credit hours in all science and engineering courses and maintained a pretty good GPA. His response was, "Yeah, but that was before you had kids."

What I guess I am trying to say is that I was really excited to show that I could handle everything and I thought that my past spoke for itself. Unfortunately, every interviewer is going to come from their own skewed background and may not see things the way you do. You may not be able to satisfy their questions no matter how hard you try. I think it is very sad but these are things I would keep in mind before going into interviews.

 

[Northerner]

During another interview which I actually considered making a complaint about but decided it wasn't worth it, the interviewer basically harrassed me about my ability to handle medical school with kids. When I mentioned that I was working full-time and taking classes, he said "Yeah, but you're only taking 2 classes at a time." When I mentioned that my first 3 semesters, I took 19, 22, and 24 credit hours in all science and engineering courses and maintained a pretty good GPA. His response was, "Yeah, but that was before you had kids."

What I guess I am trying to say is that I was really excited to show that I could handle everything and I thought that my past spoke for itself. Unfortunately, every interviewer is going to come from their own skewed background and may not see things the way you do. You may not be able to satisfy their questions no matter how hard you try. I think it is very sad but these are things I would keep in mind before going into interviews.

You have to admit, he makes a good point. Whether it was a fair assessment of you is personal opinion and totally subjective, but he brings up legitimate points.

Frankly, I think already having kids puts you in a better position than a woman who doesn't yet have any...some might argue that the bearing of children causes the most conflict with a medical education. It can be done, and it can be done well.

However, I'm interested to hear how you women feel about the fact that women are so much more likely to want to bear children (with voluntary or "elected" diminished capacity, or at least high likelihood of it), want to work part time in order to raise kids, and go into "family friendly" specialties? Do you think it's a good idea for medical schools to be admitting such students? I'm curious how you rationalize this.

 

[DrMidlife]

However, I'm interested to hear how you women feel about the fact that women are so much more likely to want to bear children (with voluntary or "elected" diminished capacity, or at least high likelihood of it), want to work part time in order to raise kids, and go into "family friendly" specialties? Do you think it's a good idea for medical schools to be admitting such students? I'm curious how you rationalize this.

Are you Wahhabi or something?

I think it's a bad idea to admit students who have poor social skills. This leads to malpractice, and generally poor patient care. Boys tend to have worse social skills than girls - they want to fight and jockey for power, instead of cooperating and collaborating. Therefore it's irresponsible to offer medical training to young men.

Sigh.

 

[Phoenix.]

It's not inappropriate to question any applicant, male or female, about whether he/she has considered the ramifications of an extremely likely choice that has a huge impact on performance and success. I think all candidates should be asked about plans for family. Seriously, if you've thought about how you'd handle pregnancy and infant care during med school and residency, then "what are your plans for family?" exposes your maturity. How many young single men do you know who could answer this question? Doesn't it seem like keeping this question off-limits prevents normalization of starting a family in parallel with medical training?

To me it's a disaster for all parties involved when candidates are allowed to pretend they either won't be having kids or won't be affected by them. It's a disaster for all the future ex-wives and ex-husbands and custodial disputes of med students to have this not be part of the conversation at the get-go. And it's a disaster to not be allowed to talk about it. What a load.

I respectfully disagree. I don't think that a medical school interview is the proper place for that discussion. And I do believe that it's inappropriate to bring up unless the applicant has brought it up themselves.

 

[Luxian]

Uffa! I'm sorry you had such awful interviewers. I'm in the lucky position of being able to avoid any but hypothetical questions. That is, I'm not married, I don't have children, so anyone that asks about children is just guessing. On the other hand, I'm of an age where I very much plan to have children. Right now I'm looking at either during the last two years of med school or residency.

I suppose the key thing is to have thought it through. There will always be interviewers who just believe you can't do both (no matter the support structure) and you just have to hope you don't get one. The truth is, any life stuff can get in the way, such as a death in the family, an operation, mono, etc etc etc. With kids at least you have 9 months to prepare!

 

[t-funk]

You have to admit, he makes a good point. Whether it was a fair assessment of you is personal opinion and totally subjective, but he brings up legitimate points.

Frankly, I think already having kids puts you in a better position than a woman who doesn't yet have any...some might argue that the bearing of children causes the most conflict with a medical education. It can be done, and it can be done well.

However, I'm interested to hear how you women feel about the fact that women are so much more likely to want to bear children (with voluntary or "elected" diminished capacity, or at least high likelihood of it), want to work part time in order to raise kids, and go into "family friendly" specialties? Do you think it's a good idea for medical schools to be admitting such students? I'm curious how you rationalize this.

I can't really speak for the last question since I plan on working full-time bc my kids will be teenagers or in college by the time I get out of residency. Personally, I think this actually puts me in a good position also, as you said, but I do not believe a lot of traditional interviewers see it this way. I do agree that the questions that he asked could have been very good questions and points had he not asked them in such an adversarial, condescending, and negative way. In my opinion, he wanted nothing to do with me from the moment I walked in and was only going through the interview bc he had to. Nothing I could have said would have made him change his mind. I don't even understand why a school would invite you for an interview if you have no chance with the interviewer they give you. It wasted a lot of my money and their time.

I learned very quickly from the other interview never to mention that I was divorced again or that I wanted to be close to Omaha for my son. From that point on, I only spoke about how the guy I am living with will help support me and so on. (This is not in my personality type at all to say stuff like this.) It's sad that it has to be this way bc I do believe it is discriminatory but there's really nothing I can do about it at this point in my life. Maybe one day. I'm just trying to say to be careful about how much you reveal to the interviewers bc they haven't had the same life experiences as you and may judge you a negative way no matter what you say.

 

[sunny1]

However, I'm interested to hear how you women feel about the fact that women are so much more likely to want to bear children (with voluntary or "elected" diminished capacity, or at least high likelihood of it), want to work part time in order to raise kids, and go into "family friendly" specialties? Do you think it's a good idea for medical schools to be admitting such students? I'm curious how you rationalize this.

wow.

You know, you bring up a good point though. It's just not fair for us women. Why can men be doctors and dads without sacrificing any of their capacity? Instead, I'm gonna have a kid and elect to operate under diminished capacity, which isn't good for my kid OR my patients OR my husband. In addition to rushing home after a long day of work, I will have to pour a glass of scotch for my hubbie, make a gourmet hot meal, and rub his feet, then I will also have to bake those 24 cupcakes from scratch (only the best) for my kiddie's class, knit her winter mittens, AND continue teaching her our nightly "moral of the week" lesson. Where will I find the time? Such a predicament. And oh darn, I forgot to walk the dog and take out the trash and --

You're right. It's impossible. I shouldn't be pursuing this. It's selfish to myself, med school, and family. You can take my place.😀

 

[t-funk]

wow.

You know, you bring up a good point though. It's just not fair for us women. Why can men be doctors and dads without sacrificing any of their capacity? Instead, I'm gonna have a kid and elect to operate under diminished capacity, which isn't good for my kid OR my patients OR my husband. In addition to rushing home after a long day of work, I will have to pour a glass of scotch for my hubbie, make a gourmet hot meal, and rub his feet, then I will also have to bake those 24 cupcakes from scratch (only the best) for my kiddie's class, knit her winter mittens, AND continue teaching her our nightly "moral of the week" lesson. Where will I find the time? Such a predicament. And oh darn, I forgot to walk the dog and take out the trash and --

You're right. It's impossible. I shouldn't be pursuing this. It's selfish to myself, med school, and family. You can take my place.😀

👍 My sentiments exactly.

 

[Northerner]

wow.

You know, you bring up a good point though. It's just not fair for us women. Why can men be doctors and dads without sacrificing any of their capacity? Instead, I'm gonna have a kid and elect to operate under diminished capacity, which isn't good for my kid OR my patients OR my husband. In addition to rushing home after a long day of work, I will have to pour a glass of scotch for my hubbie, make a gourmet hot meal, and rub his feet, then I will also have to bake those 24 cupcakes from scratch (only the best) for my kiddie's class, knit her winter mittens, AND continue teaching her our nightly "moral of the week" lesson. Where will I find the time? Such a predicament. And oh darn, I forgot to walk the dog and take out the trash and --

You're right. It's impossible. I shouldn't be pursuing this. It's selfish to myself, med school, and family. You can take my place.😀

Could you be any more dramatic? No one was being misogynistic, it's a legitimate question that you'll need to reconcile.

For example (God it's annoying to have to give examples of legitimate counter-arguments to your own points) you could say that in fact the child-rearing should be shared equally and you could reflect on that in response to the question.

I think "well, I know there's a lot of physicians who are able to have a healthy family life and I have a mate that understands my constraints and respects my career, and we're going to work as a team to share the load and minimize any potential burden on my career, coworkers, or work environment" is a reasonable reconciliation thought process.

"OH MY GOD YOU CAN'T SAY THAT TO ME YOU MISOGYNIST JERK I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYONE'S LAUNDRY THIS ISN'T THE 50'S I AM ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE KITCHEN!" is a less mature approach.

And really, I'm flattered you think I'm worthy to take your spot. Big shoes to fill, I'm sure.

 

[montessori2md]

I'm 33 years old and female, and I've had six interviews so far. Not a single one asked me about my plans to have a family or how kids might work into medical school. Officially, they're not permitted to. Only one interviewer asked me how old I was when the interview started (although he obviously already knew), and then, traipsing on dangerous ground, asked if I had ever been married. That was it though. Had he probed further I would have reported him to the admissions office. Your admission to medical school should not in any way be impacted by your gender, marital or parental status or plans.

Every interviewer I've met has said how they value nontrads and the extra perspective and experience we bring to the table. Even the interviewer who asked me about my age acknowledged that when I asked what he thought of my "older" status. And no one has questioned the opportunity cost or lost income that I will "suffer" from quitting my job as a successful attorney. I think that it really just depends on the perspective and background of the interviewer as to whether any of those issues will come up.

Anyway, I just wanted to drive home that it's completely inappropriate for an interviewer to ask a female applicant about her plans for children and how that will work with med school. If you get an interviewer who gives you trouble about that, I recommend that you immediately go to the admissions office after the interview and let them know. They should give you an additional interview to take the place of that one. I know a female applicant last year who was grilled about whether her going to medical school was a good idea for her two children for the entire interview, and trust me, she really wishes she'd gone to the admissions office.

Just wanted to say, I know I interviewed at least at 1 of the same schools, and I was questioned, thoroughly, about family and financial issues regarding my non-trad self. None of my interviewers talked about how they valued non-trads (though I did hear that from others at all my interviews). I haven't the foggiest idea as to whether it affected my admission or not.

I don't know that I care too much about whether it's legit to question someone about their reproductive self, gosh I'm a crummy feminist. I do care about the fact that my learning will be impacted by that fact that I have 2X chromosomes -for good and ill. But I'm just as worried about the fact that I'm left-handed, and will probably have to figure out how to translate hand movements for myself, or learn to do some procedures right handed. But none of my interviewers knew to ask me about that 😀

I agree w/ the post about social skills being a key part of the job, more than hours one plans to log. There is data published about the # of physicians who worked part-time for part of their careers, and it's a fairly large percentage (at least 20, maybe 40, I'll look for the link and edit). What if you want to go save Darfur? Wont that take time away from your practice? What if you want to research, or consult, or teach? Won't that take time away from your patients? What if you're just planning to golf 3x/week?

 

[DrMidlife]

Could you be any more dramatic? No one was being misogynistic, it's a legitimate question that you'll need to reconcile.

Dude. Read your post again. And read the earlier posts in this thread, and the dozens of other threads, that talk about reconciling parenthood with medicine. Anybody who is serious about parenthood and medicine doesn't need to be told that the two are tough to reconcile. But thanks a bunch for telling us to.

I have no problem answering the legitimate question of "how do you expect to handle family during medical school and residency?" You didn't ask this. You asked "women" to justify "women" being admitted into medical school, given presumed breeding capabilities and and a consequent interest in not sucking at parenthood.

I'm one woman and I don't care to speak for my entire demographic. That would make me an dingus. Do you want to speak for all men? How do you reconcile that men are allowed access to alcohol when its so deeply associated with violence? It's a legitimate question...

 

[sunny1]

Could you be any more dramatic? No one was being misogynistic, it's a legitimate question that you'll need to reconcile.

For example (God it's annoying to have to give examples of legitimate counter-arguments to your own points) you could say that in fact the child-rearing should be shared equally and you could reflect on that in response to the question.

I think "well, I know there's a lot of physicians who are able to have a healthy family life and I have a mate that understands my constraints and respects my career, and we're going to work as a team to share the load and minimize any potential burden on my career, coworkers, or work environment" is a reasonable reconciliation thought process.

Clearly this response from you is more reasonable than your original question. With almost 4,000 posts to your name, I'm sorry but you surely have seen this topic debated and considered to death. I'm not sure what more there is to say about it really. You already knew the answer to your own question, whether or not you agree with it personally.

Related to the original post and discussion topic, I believe it is legitimate for interviewers to ask about a person's plans for balancing their personal and professional lives. Broaching the subject of the interviewee's specific age seems iffy to me, but I suppose a skilled interviewer could touch on it in a roundabout way.

I am sorry, Northerner, you asked your question in an insensitive way and IMO not a very rational one either. You women, elected diminished capacity, and whether med schools should even be accepting females who have or will have children, etc.

 

[Northerner]

Clearly this response from you is more reasonable than your original question. With almost 4,000 posts to your name, I'm sorry but you surely have seen this topic debated and considered to death. I'm not sure what more there is to say about it really. You already knew the answer to your own question, whether or not you agree with it personally.

Related to the original post and discussion topic, I believe it is legitimate for interviewers to ask about a person's plans for balancing their personal and professional lives. Broaching the subject of the interviewee's specific age seems iffy to me, but I suppose a skilled interviewer could touch on it in a roundabout way.

I am sorry, Northerner, you asked your question in an insensitive way and IMO not a very rational one either. You women, elected diminished capacity, and whether med schools should even be accepting females who have or will have children, etc.

Here's the point. The issue I posted (and perspective posed) is a real one. You can react to it by being reactionary or by being explanatory. My advice is to be smarter than the perhaps insensitive people who pose it to you and display enough maturity to convey how you've reconciled the conflict. Getting indignant, offended, and standoffish will never work. It'll never work in insensitive interviews, it'll never work with insensitive attendings, and it'll never work with insensitive patients. Get a thick skin and a cool head.

As for me, I'm just glad I have your DO spot to fall back on. Look out world, here I come!

 

[sunny1]

Here's the point. The issue I posted (and perspective posed) is a real one. You can react to it by being reactionary or by being explanatory. My advice is to be smarter than the perhaps insensitive people who pose it to you and display enough maturity to convey how you've reconciled the conflict. Getting indignant, offended, and standoffish will never work. It'll never work in insensitive interviews, it'll never work with insensitive attendings, and it'll never work with insensitive patients. Get a thick skin and a cool head.

As for me, I'm just glad I have your DO spot to fall back on. Look out world, here I come!

This is an online forum, not the real world. I was trying to go for witty in my original post or at least a sort of dry humor. I fail to see why you feel the need to continue to insult me personally when I only responded to your post, not you as a person. Moving on!

 

[Harry Bahgina]

You could always sue to change the rules like the lady did at Harvard!!!Disclaimer: In no way was this meant to be offensive. Lighten up a little ppl.

 

[MeowMix]

I learned from my med school interviews, and now I'm applying those lessons in residency interviews:

I don't mention family, partner, children, or age anywhere in my PS or other documents. I do not bring them up in the interview. Obviously they know my age, but that's all. It is illegal for them to mention any of these unless it's in my PS or I mention the word "boyfriend" for example.

This keeps the conversation generally focused on my stellar qualities as an applicant, rather than satisfying their irrelevant curiosity about my personal life.

You certainly will get these illegal questions, so think ahead about how to handle them if you haven't started interviewing yet (unlike the OP). I've had a few interviewers ask about age, family etc. while simultaneously acknowledging that they know it's illegal to do so. Sometimes I joke with them and talk about it. Other times I just smile and acknowledge that it is indeed illegal, and we change the subject. I had one very young interviewer who asked whether I had a partner and seemed totally oblivious that it was an illegal question, so I just went ahead and answered.

 

[t-funk]

This is also what I plan to do when I get to that point. No need in talking about things that really aren't their business. I learned this the hard way though. Unfortunately, I really needed to explain certain aspects about my past which were due to having a child and my experiences with him that led to medicine. I won't need to do this for residency.