Irony in preparing LORs

[JayQuah]

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No real point to this thread, other than sharing with you another injustice...when asking for my letters, sent out tons of stuff, like resume, copy of my personal statement, etc. I also sent out a personalized letter to THEM outlining how I knew them, in what contexts, and why I thought they'd be good to write the letter. I praised them for their accomplishments and their inspiration, I told them I wanted to follow in their footsteps...I put all this together in less than a day. I wrote THEM a letter of rec for THEMSELVES in less than a day...why is it taking them WEEKS in order to write a few paragraphs in the same manner? All I'm looking for is their signature...doesn't have to be a masterpiece....big argh.

 

[themadchemist]

I just wish my research adviser would actually *write.* He seems to be avoiding the topic. I made an international call to him asking if he had a chance to look at my recommendation form and he said, check my e-mail and get back to me as soon as possible. Gullible me just figured that it had something to do with my LOR. But of course, it didn't. He said he hadn't seen data from me in a while and asked if I had any to show him. Man, it takes skill to avoid a topic so deftly.

 

[Flopotomist]

He said he hadn't seen data from me in a while and asked if I had any to show him. Man, it takes skill to avoid a topic so deftly.

Uhm - I think there is a general rule here that people should learn. Kinda like dating, there is an art to recognizing when you are being kicked to the curb. If you ask somebody for an LOR, and they say, "well... I haven't seen any data from you in a while..." and then they don't actually write the thing, and they evade the topic, that is the equivalent of a girl saying, "I can't go out Friday because I have to wash my hair, and Saturday I have to brush the cat...in fact every Friday and Saturday I have to do these things."

The lesson here is learning when to recognize the brush off and get a LOR from somebody else. The response you are looking for is, "I would love to write you one, where do I send it?" Good Luck

 

[themadchemist]

Uhm - I think there is a general rule here that people should learn. Kinda like dating, there is an art to recognizing when you are being kicked to the curb. If you ask somebody for an LOR, and they say, "well... I haven't seen any data from you in a while..." and then they don't actually write the thing, and they evade the topic, that is the equivalent of a girl saying, "I can't go out Friday because I have to wash my hair, and Saturday I have to brush the cat...in fact every Friday and Saturday I have to do these things."

The lesson here is learning when to recognize the brush off and get a LOR from somebody else. The response you are looking for is, "I would love to write you one, where do I send it?" Good Luck

See the thing is, he did say I'd love to write it for me before. And he's said lots of other very nice things when I got results by my second week in the lab, rocked his graduate course, one research scholarships for the lab, etc. He's written recommendations for people who have done less. But, I guess, that's not even the point. He's my research adviser and I'm applying to MSTP. Imagine for a second, in your analogy, that there is only one girl left in the entire universe. Well, then, the stakes are a wee bit higher. Similarly, I simply can't get into an MSTP without his recommendation, which he has told me in the past he would be happy to write.

Alas...

 

[Flopotomist]

See the thing is, he did say I'd love to write it for me before. And he's said lots of other very nice things when I got results by my second week in the lab, rocked his graduate course, one research scholarships for the lab, etc. He's written recommendations for people who have done less. But, I guess, that's not even the point. He's my research adviser and I'm applying to MSTP. Imagine for a second, in your analogy, that there is only one girl left in the entire universe. Well, then, the stakes are a wee bit higher. Similarly, I simply can't get into an MSTP without his recommendation, which he has told me in the past he would be happy to write.

Alas...

What will hurt more... no letter from him, or a lukewarm / bad letter from him? Getting into MSTP is one thing, not getting in anywhere because his letter says something like, "This student doesn't turn in data..."

If you insist on a letter from this person, have you tried the old fashioned guilt method? This involves writing a thank you note for agreeing to write the letter along with a box of chocolates. Good luck.

 

[themadchemist]

What will hurt more... no letter from him, or a lukewarm / bad letter from him? Getting into MSTP is one thing, not getting in anywhere because his letter says something like, "This student doesn't turn in data..."

If you insist on a letter from this person, have you tried the old fashioned guilt method? This involves writing a thank you note for agreeing to write the letter along with a box of chocolates. Good luck.

Judging from the tone of his letter, it wasn't accusatory. He's given the entire lab an assignment to get their data into him as hard copies because he's having trouble finding the stuff on his computer, but since I'm out of the country, I think he's asking me just to get anything he doesn't have to him electronically.

I thought the box of chocolates would melt by the time they got to the US. 😉 Plus, most Indian chocolate is stinky.

 

[funshine]

No real point to this thread, other than sharing with you another injustice...when asking for my letters, sent out tons of stuff, like resume, copy of my personal statement, etc. I also sent out a personalized letter to THEM outlining how I knew them, in what contexts, and why I thought they'd be good to write the letter. I praised them for their accomplishments and their inspiration, I told them I wanted to follow in their footsteps...I put all this together in less than a day. I wrote THEM a letter of rec for THEMSELVES in less than a day...why is it taking them WEEKS in order to write a few paragraphs in the same manner? All I'm looking for is their signature...doesn't have to be a masterpiece....big argh.

My dear, it's because most of them--esp. the PIs--are too busy to give a damn about anything unrelated to their present research. Recommendation letter for you = not even on their list. I had the same experience w/ most of my big-name recommenders. In fact, my Health Professions Advisor had to phone my advisor and yell at his secretary for a bit (who then yelled at him) before the letter finally came in...a month late. My PI supposedly really likes me too. I wish you had visited this board back in April. Our HPA office made us send in all our recs by April...KNOWING most of them wouldn't come in until June...sadly, that's the way it goes.

BTW, you should really just be upfront with them and TELL THEM to write your letter otherwise you're not going to get in medical school...it'll take most of them no more than 20 minutes, I swear.

 

[DrMojorisin]

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my research advisor really likes me and wants me to get into medical school. We go on 1 hour walk everyday, talk about science and everything else, blah blah blah....

I still had to pressure him on at least 6 occasions over 2 months to get him to write a letter. It wasn't a hint, it just wasn't a priority. I had no choice but to point out that I was really beginning to get stressed because my letters of recommendation are not in yet. Then follow up with something very urgent like "I really need these letters by the end of the week" with a look of desperation. I don't think chocolates will hurry everyone along. Some people, you just have to light a fire under their [donkey].

 

[SuzieQ3417]

The post-doc fellow I work with was one of the first LOR I asked for...and the very last one to submit it (today..finally). I gave him a deadline when I asked for the letter, which was to be the end of June. I think people involved in research are only able to focus on one task at a time...and I guarantee you it is not going to be your LOR. It was stressing me out, and you honestly just need to be honest and straight to the point with them. I finally confronted him and asked how the progress of my letter was. I then followed by telling him that schools will not even glance at my application until all of my LOR are submitted, and since they do rolling admissions the longer it takes to have everything turned in, the less of a chance I have of being accepted. I wasn't mean about it...but you have to be honest and let them know how important their letter is to this whole process.
On a side note, the very last professor I asked to write a letter, one of my bio professors, was the first to turn a letter in...ONE DAY after I asked him. That man was on a mission. 🙂