It did not help that I came back from vacation (a cruise, of all the relaxing things
) to a 92 hour work week. This week I had 70 to help balance it, but one extra afternoon off is not enough.
Kimberli, I think you are finishing a surgical fellowship... how was the transition? I am hoping that being in a new place with new people in my subspecialty will help allay some of the fatigue. Maybe I am just giving myself false hope, though.
Also, while I can sleep long periods, I have been suffering from call insomnia... even if it is quiet, I can't fall asleep in the call room anymore.
Vacation is the worst - never take it because its just so awful coming back to work!!!
Call insomnia is common - I think it true that you cannot sleep fully while on call because your body keeps you surfing right under the sleep clouds. I moonlighted yesterday - 24 hrs and 4 pages (and 2 of those were some of the nurses calling to say "hi" when they saw the call schedule). I could have slept right through the night, but of course I couldn't/didn't so am tired today. But at least I was paid for the inconvenience.
I have to say being in a place where I am validated on a daily basis makes things better, as well as not having to do any in-house call. But then I am doing SOMETHING every hour of the day when I'm there - more productive obviously, but it can be more tiring. Different kind of tired than the on-call/off-call/pre-call/on-call cycle.
It was hard moving to a new place where I didn't know anyone, had to leave a beautiful, large apartment for a tiny closet several hundred dollars/month more and to fight traffic and bad moods everyday. But that is OUTSIDE work...for the first time in the last several years, work is the least stressful part of my day. I love the people I work with, the hospital and the patients. Its just New Jersey I hate!
I would agree that if you are in a stressful environment, the body's natural reaction is to try and escape that and that you should feel better in a new environment, especially if you are surrounded with people you like and share something in common. BUT, I do think it still has to be a fairly nurturing environment (as much as is possible in medicine) to help you feel emotionally and physically better.
Now that I am finalizing my look for an attending job, there's more stress and I find I am more physically fatigued again. I worry about making a mistake, that I sign a contract and the PERFECT (as if) job comes up the next month, and of course, having to start all over in a new place. I think if I had still had an SO it might be easier...but there's something to be said for independence and doing it on your own, right?
Anyway, your new environment may prove to be easier on your, but it depends on the environment. As I've mentioned before, my ex had it pretty easy during residency, but his fellowship was horrendous - days and nights of non-stop work, emotionally and physically draining, lots of alcohol and tobacco (and perhaps drug) abuse amongst his colleagues, and a sense that no matter what you did, it didn't make a difference because there was always some other 15 year old in your trauma bay with a bullet in his spine.
Sorry for the downer, but as you can see...change of venue isn't always better.
