Is it okay to not have friends?

[Dr.J.D]

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I just transferred from a different high school and am now in tenth grade. I had been going there for quite a while a had a lot of friends, but we rarely talk now because I'm far away.
So the first day of school, I thought people would notice a new kid and just come up and talk to me, but that did not happen. After a week or so I tried talking to people but they wouldn't really talk back, and make no effort to continue the conversation. Now its 2-3 months in and I don't really talk to anybody. I have other friends outside of school, and my brothers friends and whatever. But I feel like since I just transferred in 10th grade, everybody already has friends since they have known each other since elementary, middle and freshman year. They are already in their comfort zone. So is it okay if I have zero friends all throughout the rest of high school?

 

[SandP]

This sucks and is not easy for sure. But keep on the look out for people you think are nice who you click with. It won't come easily, but with time- so be patient.

 

[Symphonies]

I just transferred from a different high school and am now in tenth grade. I had been going there for quite a while a had a lot of friends, but we rarely talk now because I'm far away.
So the first day of school, I thought people would notice a new kid and just come up and talk to me, but that did not happen. After a week or so I tried talking to people but they wouldn't really talk back, and make no effort to continue the conversation. Now its 2-3 months in and I don't really talk to anybody. I have other friends outside of school, and my brothers friends and whatever. But I feel like since I just transferred in 10th grade, everybody already has friends since they have known each other since elementary, middle and freshman year. They are already in their comfort zone. So is it okay if I have zero friends all throughout the rest of high school?

I'd say it's arguably fine although it would suck for the next two years for you. After graduating there's only around 7 close friends from high school that I still talk to, aside from that I kinda forgot about everyone else.

 

[Dr.J.D]

I'd say it's arguably fine although it would suck for the next two years for you. After graduating there's only around 7 close friends from high school that I still talk to, aside from that I kinda forgot about everyone else.

I have 0 overall right now from the school. There is people I know, but no "friends"

 

[Dr.J.D]

bump

 

[SandP]

bump

joining school clubs or interest groups is a great way to meet people in my opinion. But really, just being a nice person (or funny or whatever) is often enough to make people want to be friends with you. Again be patient. You're young, though. If things don't work out, you will undoubtedly make friends in the future. In the meantime, start planning your life, what you want to accomplish, your goals and focus on those things. See the forest before the trees.

 

[Kurk]

Yes it's fine to not have friends if you don't want any. If you want some, it's not going to happen with you just standing around. Go join common interest clubs where you'll be more comfortable speaking on common ground.

 

[RTC19]

I just transferred from a different high school and am now in tenth grade. I had been going there for quite a while a had a lot of friends, but we rarely talk now because I'm far away.
So the first day of school, I thought people would notice a new kid and just come up and talk to me, but that did not happen. After a week or so I tried talking to people but they wouldn't really talk back, and make no effort to continue the conversation. Now its 2-3 months in and I don't really talk to anybody. I have other friends outside of school, and my brothers friends and whatever. But I feel like since I just transferred in 10th grade, everybody already has friends since they have known each other since elementary, middle and freshman year. They are already in their comfort zone. So is it okay if I have zero friends all throughout the rest of high school?

Plenty of people don't have school friends. If you feel your emotional needs are being met through your outside-of-school friends, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with not having school friends.

Plenty of adults aren't friends with the people at their school or office and have their friends outside of work/school.

If you find yourself feeling sad or lonely at school, then you may need to make some school friends. Maybe try joining some clubs and finding other people who don't know anyone?

 

[singasongofjoy]

Folks above are giving good advice. yes, it's fine if you don't have friends at school, so long as YOU are OK with it, and feel your social needs are getting met elsewehre. But if it bothers you, keep in mind that especially at your age and coming in the middle of the year when people have already kind of formed their groups and routines, it's just hard. Doesn't say anything about you personally. It's just a sucky time and developmental age to be changing schools. I agree w/ joining some clubs. It is easeir to get to know people when you are working on a common goal/task/activity and that is generally what clubs do. Or if you really don't mind putting yourself out there and are a little brave and open to surprises, you can do what a friend of mine did, which is get a posterboard, write "I'm the new kid- come talk to me!" or somethign like that, sit in the cafeteria in a pretty open spot, and hold or post your sign. At least some people will be curious/intrigued enough to come talk with you. Have conversatoins, ask what they like to do around town for fun, maybe they'll invite you to sit w them at lunch or hang out or whatever.

 

[Standutd]

along with joining clubs I'd say explore online communities too, especially if you play video games. I can't say I've made long term friendships in an online multiplayer game but I definitely got to know a lot of people. Do this in addition to joining school clubs/team sports, you'll find you're friend when you least expect it.