Is it possible to have a relationship while in Dental School?

2thDMD

10+ Year Member
Aug 15, 2007
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Pre-Dental
I've heard horror stories about Med/Dental school, and how it is like drinking from a fire hose for 4 straight years.
I'd love some feedback from current DS students (or recent graduates), about the feasibility of having a relationship with someone not in dental school. My current gf won't be able to handle me getting home from the library every weeknight at 11pm, then studying all weekend, and I neither blame her, nor want to subject her to feeling alone in a "relationship" while I'm nose deep in books. I love her deeply, and because of that fact, the most loving thing I can do is set her free if DS is just too demanding to also allow me to be a good partner to her.

So, I'm looking for feedback from those who have/had a relationship in school (with a non-DS partner), attempted it or didn't even attempt it given the rigors of DS.

Thanks.
 
Sep 8, 2012
473
501
NYC
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Dental Student
Plenty of people in my class are married to non-dental people. They're making it work. But I also know plenty of people whose long term relationships fell apart in D1, myself included. So there's that.

I think it depends on how understanding the other person is and how willing they are to compromise, because for the next four years, they'll be the ones doing most of the compromising.
 

THS

Articulating Disc Jockey
7+ Year Member
Jun 20, 2012
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Totally possible, but realize that someone not in professional school won't understand what you're going through. They probably won't understand why you have to stay up in the lab until midnight, or why you're so stressed.
My fiancee is a 2nd year hygiene student, and it's awesome being able to come home and complain about things like "I have to get 3 class 1 amalgam pts and take a competency within 6 clinic sessions" and she totally understands. This makes it easy for me.

I'm sure there are plenty of students dating or married to non-students that can chime in.
 
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Daneosaurus

D4
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Mar 13, 2012
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Well, my wife and I have been married for just over 8 years and have 2 kids. I'm starting D1 (orientation week) today. She is starting a dual masters program and we're going to make it work just fine. We made it through my time in the military then we both went through undergrad together in 3.5 years, with our kids, with me also working full time.

So yeah, I'd say it's definitely doable.
 

beannaithe

Bionerd
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Mar 16, 2005
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My husband and I did 4 years, 300 miles of long distance through dental school. It majorly sucked, but it was definitely worth it. How you prioritize your relationship will determine how successful you are at it. I would drop everything for our nightly phone calls and then just stay up late and study after. When he came to visit or when I went to visit him, it was no schoolwork regardless of whether there was an exam. If I had one, I'd just leave early and go home to study.

If you want to make it work, you will. If she wants to make it work, she will. If you love each other, you owe it to yourselves to try.

Dental school is like quicksand and it'll pull you in and take over your life if you're not careful. It's nice to have someone who isn't in dentistry to say, 'who cares that your MOD prep was 0.25mm too deep?' Because in the end, it isn't the stuff like that that's important. It's the people, the relationships, and the friends you make that you'll remember. Not that one bad prep or failed exam...well, unless you epically fail it...but every single dentist has at least one. ;)
 

Glimmer1991

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May 5, 2012
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It is ABSOLUTELY possible, if she is the right one. The "right one" will be able to understand/respect what you are going through and what is required of you by school, and she won't hold you back. Sure, there will be some tough days (or even tough weeks), but you get through it. My fiance is in law school, which is relatively demanding but not NEARLY as bad as what I'm dealing with (plus I care about my grades more, which means extra work for me)... but he gets it. He takes care of me when he has the time, making me meals, taking care of the dog, cleaning up the place, etc. Someone who LOVES you can definitely stick it out!

Also, this is coming from someone who is VERY serious about school. I have a 4.0, and yes, I study quite a bit to maintain that. Even despite how I am about grades, I still definitely find time to "have a life." You'll figure out the time management! I got engaged last year, I just got a puppy, etc. I also RARELY study on the weekends, unless there is a Monday test or we have a big test on Tuesday. :) That means I work a lot harder during the week than many of my peers, but it's worth it to me to have a stress-free weekend!
 

Screwtape

10+ Year Member
Aug 25, 2008
894
759
Midwest, USA
Status
Dentist
I've heard horror stories about Med/Dental school, and how it is like drinking from a fire hose for 4 straight years.
I'd love some feedback from current DS students (or recent graduates), about the feasibility of having a relationship with someone not in dental school. My current gf won't be able to handle me getting home from the library every weeknight at 11pm, then studying all weekend, and I neither blame her, nor want to subject her to feeling alone in a "relationship" while I'm nose deep in books. I love her deeply, and because of that fact, the most loving thing I can do is set her free if DS is just too demanding to also allow me to be a good partner to her.

So, I'm looking for feedback from those who have/had a relationship in school (with a non-DS partner), attempted it or didn't even attempt it given the rigors of DS.

Thanks.
If you follow that study schedule you'll burn out by first semester. Having a relationship in dental school is dependent on the two people in the relationship, not whether or not one of you is in dental school. Good luck and live a little in D school, it's not a library or lab jail sentence...
 

swindoll

5+ Year Member
Apr 30, 2013
719
484
USA
Well, my wife and I have been married for just over 8 years and have 2 kids. I'm starting D1 (orientation week) today. She is starting a dual masters program and we're going to make it work just fine. We made it through my time in the military then we both went through undergrad together in 3.5 years, with our kids, with me also working full time.

So yeah, I'd say it's definitely doable.
Wow!!! That's very impressive!
 

swindoll

5+ Year Member
Apr 30, 2013
719
484
USA
It is ABSOLUTELY possible, if she is the right one. The "right one" will be able to understand/respect what you are going through and what is required of you by school, and she won't hold you back. Sure, there will be some tough days (or even tough weeks), but you get through it. My fiance is in law school, which is relatively demanding but not NEARLY as bad as what I'm dealing with (plus I care about my grades more, which means extra work for me)... but he gets it. He takes care of me when he has the time, making me meals, taking care of the dog, cleaning up the place, etc. Someone who LOVES you can definitely stick it out!

Also, this is coming from someone who is VERY serious about school. I have a 4.0, and yes, I study quite a bit to maintain that. Even despite how I am about grades, I still definitely find time to "have a life." You'll figure out the time management! I got engaged last year, I just got a puppy, etc. I also RARELY study on the weekends, unless there is a Monday test or we have a big test on Tuesday. :) That means I work a lot harder during the week than many of my peers, but it's worth it to me to have a stress-free weekend!
I thought about you when I started reading this thread lol I'm simply amazed by some of the people I "met" on sdn, including yourself, Glimmer1991!
 
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LaughingGas

7+ Year Member
May 17, 2010
1,713
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Dental Student, Dentist
It's doable. But I have seen more break ups than the number of couples maintaining their relationships. It's just simply hard for non dental student to understand the commitment dstudents have to do.
 

Mad Jack

Critically Caring
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Jul 27, 2013
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Medical student here. Been going for over a year, relationships is still great. Just make the time for your s/o and things'll be fine.
 
Dec 6, 2012
341
139
Pennsylvania
Status
Dental Student
I've been married for six years now. My husband is very supportive and moved all the way across the country so I could go to school. He now works as a supervisor in a retail store. He doesn't understand why I have to be in lab all the time and I think that he feels left out of my life a lot because I study a lot and have to stay late at school most nights. I think for a mature, stable relationship, being with the one you love is definitely doable as long as you dedicate time to do fun things with that person. However, I can't imagine beginning a brand new relationship with someone who's not a dental student would be doable. Many of my classmates have broken off their relationships because their s/o couldn't understand why they had to study so much.
 
Dec 6, 2012
341
139
Pennsylvania
Status
Dental Student
It is ABSOLUTELY possible, if she is the right one. The "right one" will be able to understand/respect what you are going through and what is required of you by school, and she won't hold you back. Sure, there will be some tough days (or even tough weeks), but you get through it. My fiance is in law school, which is relatively demanding but not NEARLY as bad as what I'm dealing with (plus I care about my grades more, which means extra work for me)... but he gets it. He takes care of me when he has the time, making me meals, taking care of the dog, cleaning up the place, etc. Someone who LOVES you can definitely stick it out!

Also, this is coming from someone who is VERY serious about school. I have a 4.0, and yes, I study quite a bit to maintain that. Even despite how I am about grades, I still definitely find time to "have a life." You'll figure out the time management! I got engaged last year, I just got a puppy, etc. I also RARELY study on the weekends, unless there is a Monday test or we have a big test on Tuesday. :) That means I work a lot harder during the week than many of my peers, but it's worth it to me to have a stress-free weekend!
Congrats on your 4.0! Impressive! That's very hard to do in dental school
 

jmh018

7+ Year Member
Dec 22, 2011
414
29
Status
Dental Student
I'm married and have a four month old son. It has been a little tough at times but is completely manageable. You won't be in the library every night until 11:00 first of all. In my first two years I studied every day at least a little with some exceptions when I was tired or just didn't feel like it. It was usually around an hour or two. Leading up to big tests it was most of the night but there was plenty of time to hang out with my wife. What I wouldn't have time for would be starting a new relationship with a non-dental student. I know people who made that work but trying to build a relationship would have been hard for me. Maintaining a long term relationship was not too much of a stretch for me.
 

Saddleshoes

10+ Year Member
Oct 28, 2007
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388
Status
Dentist
My current gf won't be able to handle me getting home from the library every weeknight at 11pm, then studying all weekend, and I neither blame her, nor want to subject her to feeling alone in a "relationship" while I'm nose deep in books. I love her deeply, and because of that fact, the most loving thing I can do is set her free if DS is just too demanding to also allow me to be a good partner to her.
Thanks.
The first year of DS killed the strong relationship I had with my college sweetheart.
I sometimes wakeup in the night wondering what would have happened had I married her rather then setting her free.
My advice is to set down with your gf and have a serious, heart-to-heart talk about your collective future. (You might consider getting your families involved in this talk too.)
 

oralcare123

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Apr 13, 2010
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If someone cant understand or accept the demands of your school, they are definitely not worth keeping. Wouldn't it be nice to be married to a dentist someday? Were there love at all?
 

Bereno

Smoking Monkey
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Apr 15, 2011
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Some schools are more couple friendly than others. If I were you, your first question should be where you are going to be in dental school, then see how couple friendly that school is. After that, you need to have this tough conversation with your SO about whether or not they can commit to dental school just as you are committing to dental school. In general, I would say its doable if they are "the one" lol
 

Faux

5+ Year Member
Jan 26, 2013
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The first year of DS killed the strong relationship I had with my college sweetheart.
I sometimes wakeup in the night wondering what would have happened had I married her rather then setting her free.
My advice is to set down with your gf and have a serious, heart-to-heart talk about your collective future. (You might consider getting your families involved in this talk too.)
she married now?
 

gn4

5+ Year Member
Apr 1, 2013
1,134
244
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Dental Student
Very possible. Fiancee and I have been doing well. We are both very busy and understand the grueling process. She is a medstudent and I am a dental student at the same school. Basically, the other person needs to be able to understand what you are going through. If not,cut your losses and move on. There are a surprisingly high number of attractive people in dental/med school. So you can find a significant other there.
 

Bernie Sanders

2+ Year Member
May 27, 2015
119
94
Status
Dental Student
I agree with what others have said. If your significant can't comprehend that dental school takes time, then dump them and get someone who will. I honestly see being married/having a meaningful relationship as a huge advantage in dental school. Your significant other can give you company if you've got a bad group of classmates, if you are feeling lonely/depressed, or need food!! Some young married dudes in my class seem to benefit quite a bit from having a wife, an advantage they refuse to acknowledge (maybe that's why they still hit on all the girls even though they are married :nono:)
 
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