Is it unwise to write about this on my personal statement?

[snoopdoggydog]

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I'm brainstorming ideas on what to write for my personal statement and I was wondering if you guys could tell me whether talking about specific details on my path to medicine would be unwise or unnecessary to list on my essay. I transferred from a community college to a UC as an econ major and am a post-grad, but currently in my 2nd gap year before I apply. At the end of freshman year, my father suddenly passed away and I was left lost and confused in terms of my future, career, etc. During the grieving process, my way of coping was to transition to becoming a pre-med while naively convincing myself that I wanted to help others. This continued even as I transferred to a UC and was still lost and unsure about whether this career was right for me. But I want to explain how eventually, the science courses uncovered my love for science and learning and how my initial involvement in volunteering for the underserved created a passion for helping my community and individuals that are more unfortunate than I am. However, my peak interest in medicine began as a volunteer in a non-profit where I surrounded myself with child abuse pediatricians, social workers, therapists, and law enforcement where I started to understand the values and attributes that individuals needed to become a proficient physician. But I also wanted to explore how my difficult childhood growing up with my alcoholic, abusive, and absent father influenced who I am today and how my lack of a role model growing up started to be fulfilled by the values and attributes I've observed from the physicians throughout the last several years, but not quite sure how that would fit in the overall narrative.

I feel as if my story can be perceived negatively or construed as someone who's not passionate about medicine and I was wondering whether this story is worth writing about in my personal statement? Thanks.

 

[Goro]

That's a lot to unpack and comes off as major league disjointed.

 

[snoopdoggydog]

That's a lot to unpack and comes off as major league disjointed.

Would you suggest I scrap this narrative?

 

[Goro]

Yup.

Why Medicine? Answer in 10-15 words.

 

[Bwesternn]

To answer the question you proposed in your original post, yes. It could be perceived negatively, but only because I can't follow this story at all. Don't overthink this. Your PS is your story and your journey to and towards medicine, not why you think your experiences will help you be a good doctor.

While reading over my PS, one of my most influential mentors asked me, "How would you know what makes a great doctor when you're not one and you haven't yet been trained to become one?"

 

[voxveritatisetlucis]

I’m sorry for your loss.

This can definitely be a topic but it has to done in the right way. Make sure that you have a bunch of people review your drafts.

 

[FeedMeSeymour]

Would you suggest I scrap this narrative?

Focus on one or two of the themes that best support what led you to deciding a career in medicine is right for you.

You want a clear and compelling narrative answering the question why you want to become a doctor.

Save the added depth and self-doubt for your memoir. And be wary of anything that might suggest mental health issues for yourself - that’s one of the biggest red flags medical schools and residencies try to avoid short of dishonesty, lack of integrity, or criminal behavior.

 

[LindaAccepted]

I'm brainstorming ideas on what to write for my personal statement and I was wondering if you guys could tell me whether talking about specific details on my path to medicine would be unwise or unnecessary to list on my essay. I transferred from a community college to a UC as an econ major and am a post-grad, but currently in my 2nd gap year before I apply. At the end of freshman year, my father suddenly passed away and I was left lost and confused in terms of my future, career, etc. During the grieving process, my way of coping was to transition to becoming a pre-med while naively convincing myself that I wanted to help others. This continued even as I transferred to a UC and was still lost and unsure about whether this career was right for me. But I want to explain how eventually, the science courses uncovered my love for science and learning and how my initial involvement in volunteering for the underserved created a passion for helping my community and individuals that are more unfortunate than I am. However, my peak interest in medicine began as a volunteer in a non-profit where I surrounded myself with child abuse pediatricians, social workers, therapists, and law enforcement where I started to understand the values and attributes that individuals needed to become a proficient physician. But I also wanted to explore how my difficult childhood growing up with my alcoholic, abusive, and absent father influenced who I am today and how my lack of a role model growing up started to be fulfilled by the values and attributes I've observed from the physicians throughout the last several years, but not quite sure how that would fit in the overall narrative.

I feel as if my story can be perceived negatively or construed as someone who's not passionate about medicine and I was wondering whether this story is worth writing about in my personal statement? Thanks.

First of all there's too much going on here, but also much of it unfortunately is very negative and tragic. I don't think med schools want to admit people who are using medicine as therapy to recover from trauma that they are still dealing with. While I'm not saying that everything negative is off-limits and you do want to tell your story, try to focus on positive role models you have had amidst the negative. You want to be perceived as someone who is stronger and more committed as a result of your experiences in life.

 

[Moko]

To add to what others have said: not everything needs to be included in your personal statement. Your resiliency having grown up (and thrived) in a functionally single parent household and your experience having lost a close family member to their alcohol use disorder could easily be discussed in any 'adversity' or even 'diversity' prompts. These are uncommon experiences that you will bring to the class.

In addition, how you talk about these experiences matters. Being able to find the positive among these negatives is a good trait to display. You should also be careful when writing your essays to avoid shooting yourself in the foot. Instead of saying "my way of coping was to transition to becoming a pre-med while naively convincing myself that I wanted to help others", you could simply say that your dad's alcohol use disorder and eventual death was an important moment in your life that prompted you to explore medicine further. The latter says the same thing but without the negativity. Just my thoughts and best of luck.

 

[BeMoConsulting]

Hi there, you have a lot of experiences to share and while I do agree with others on this post, I think that your experiences absolutely can be included. However, remember that you also have your activities sketch (including 3 most meaningful experiences) and secondaries.

There are a few different ways to go about writing a personal statement - you can focus on three different experiences to share, for example, or, you could have one theme that winds its way throughout your statement. The statement should show your interest and passion for medicine, but each experience you share should also show the committee members that you are a good fit. You can do this by explaining what you did in each experience (show don't tell), and aim to show how an experience has given you a quality that medical schools look for (like empathy, communication, collaboration, etc). Using narratives and being specific will help you to stand out (for example, a memorable experience with a patient).

In terms of choosing which experiences to include - I would suggest reflecting on what you learned from each experience. If you can clearly articulate a strong quality or skill learned, then the experience can be good to include. However, it is easier for the reader to follow if it is in clear logical order (usually this means chronological). Each paragraph should contain one main argument (otherwise it can feel chaotic to read). We suggest aiming to capture the reader from the first sentence to draw them in and make an emotional connection. Perhaps your father's passing or a memory from growing up can be used as the opening sentence. Any other important experiences can be used in your activities sketch.

Best of luck!

 

[CM1850UV]

I read a lot of personal statements, but for residency applications. I am most impressed by someone who writes from the perspective of a person dedicated to their education and working hard to achieve an outcome while functioning as a mature, responsible member of society. Personal statements that indicate the person is an emotional basketcase or a self-described victim, has any notion of entitlement, or who has a chip on their shoulder for whatever reason get shelved. The OP's thoughts on personal statement content are misguided and do not play out well in the real world.