Is your "motivation tank" empty?

[The Angriest Bird]

---

Members don't see this ad.

I'm taking my first shelf exam tomorrow morning. This is maybe the exam for which I'm least prepared, ever. The only book I've read is Blueprint. Passing shouldn't be a problem, but the idea of failing doesn't scare me at all. Failing the exam will most likely make me want to take one year off, which sounds absolutely fantastic.

I feel like my "Type A personality" is fading away. I'm so ready to get over this academic crap and start working. I'm so jealous of the residents even though they are working 80 hours a week, because their lives are qualitative but not quantitative. For them, it's either "be in the hospital" or "not be in the hospital." For us, the third years, life is about "be in the hospital, put on the best smile, ask the most smart questions, answer the hardest pimp questions, and read the most books for shelf."

I met with my career advisor a week ago. I told him I wanted to do CT surgery. He recommended me going into a very competitive general surgery program, do well, and use that to get into a good CT surgery. My instant reaction was f*ck that. The last thing I want to do is live another 5 years during which I need to build another perfect application profile for the next step of my career.

My motivation tank is empty. In fact, I feel like it's already been empty for a long time, I'm just "overdrafting" it like a credit card.

 

[Skialta]

Dude, get over yourself. I can speak as a surgery resident in the academic world your life is a piece of cake right now, sure you have to put on the smile but you still get your weekend off between rotations. Want to know the last time I had a golden weekend? You better get used to doing your best to better your application it is a fact of life for you. Ever hear of pay for performance?... your whole career is going to be filled with hoops in one way or the other, and you are still at the starting line. You better man-up if your heading to surgery.

Skialta PGY2

 

[mjl1717]

I'm taking my first shelf exam tomorrow morning. This is maybe the exam for which I'm least prepared, ever. The only book I've read is Blueprint. Passing shouldn't be a problem, but the idea of failing doesn't scare me at all. Failing the exam will most likely make me want to take one year off, which sounds absolutely fantastic.

I feel like my "Type A personality" is fading away. I'm so ready to get over this academic crap and start working. I'm so jealous of the residents even though they are working 80 hours a week, because their lives are qualitative but not quantitative. For them, it's either "be in the hospital" or "not be in the hospital." For us, the third years, life is about "be in the hospital, put on the best smile, ask the most smart questions, answer the hardest pimp questions, and read the most books for shelf."

I met with my career advisor a week ago. I told him I wanted to do CT surgery. He recommended me going into a very competitive general surgery program, do well, and use that to get into a good CT surgery. My instant reaction was f*ck that. The last thing I want to do is live another 5 years during which I need to build another perfect application profile for the next step of my career.

My motivation tank is empty. In fact, I feel like it's already been empty for a long time, I'm just "overdrafting" it like a credit card.

Words that Ive heard people use to describe surgical world:


1) endurance.
2) big boys
3) men
4) "can't be a girl"
5) physically draining
6) unfortunately-"do everything but know nothing"..
7) Not trying to scare ya--"On call" are not the words.
8) You WILL come in contact with some brash individuals
9) Although many love disounting this-some of these guys just plain can't or wont communicate!{guess that has to do with the "do everything but know nothing part"}
10) During surgery as PGY-1..You are happy if a talkative, perky, academic, inquisitive med student scrubs in.. In order to distract the attending from grilling you!!
11) pes planus
12)A slow -motion bloody, gory fight with the light always appearing distant..
13)this is where I first heard a surgical PGY-1 describing the hierachy..[not even being a cellular organism or even algae-he said-"first you are pond scum" going up to semi- supreme being]

 

[khadija]

are all the residency programs this grueling, or is it just surgery? and as for the "polishing ur profile" bit, surely that stops once u get ur own private practice.

 

[antihero]

OP, yeah. My motivation tank is empty. From what I've gathered, this is pretty common among people who can see the end. They just wanna wrap it up, and go on with their lives. When you have an idea about what you are gonna do, reading e.g OB/gyn when you know that you don't give a damn about OB/Gyn is not really motivating. And not being motivated whilst learning can cost ya. So it is frustrating. The upside is- it is soon to be over!!

 

[45408]

Dude, get over yourself. I can speak as a surgery resident in the academic world your life is a piece of cake right now, sure you have to put on the smile but you still get your weekend off between rotations. Want to know the last time I had a golden weekend? You better get used to doing your best to better your application it is a fact of life for you. Ever hear of pay for performance?... your whole career is going to be filled with hoops in one way or the other, and you are still at the starting line. You better man-up if your heading to surgery.

Skialta PGY2

Yeah, your post did nothing to answer his question. Sometimes, you can just let people rant. I don't go into pre-allo and tell them they're all babies for thinking organic chem is tough just because step 1 is far worse. Get over yourself.

 

[searun]

Nobody gets out of bed with a full passion bucket every morning. I mean, sure, you want your passion bucket to be full, but sometimes you just have to get out of bed, hope you have clean underwear, and put on your pants.

 

[teddybear]

Nobody gets out of bed with a full passion bucket every morning. I mean, sure, you want your passion bucket to be full, but sometimes you just have to get out of bed, hope you have clean underwear, and put on your pants.

Good advice.

 

[PeepshowJohnny]

I agree with you on two things.

A) The Post Step 1 let down. I felt I broke the studying part of my brain when I did Step 1 and it was very difficult to focus for those shelf examinations after it. It gets better.


B) The "endless hurdle" syndrome. This I definitely agree with. I'm a pretty competitive applicant. One of the fields I was interested in was similar to your CT surgery, a competitive fellowship out of a much less competitive residency. While I chose against it for other reasons, it is kind of depressing when you think "All the hard work I did in medical school was just so I could compete and rebuild myself again?"

 

[The Angriest Bird]

I agree with you on two things.
B) The "endless hurdle" syndrome. This I definitely agree with. I'm a pretty competitive applicant. One of the fields I was interested in was similar to your CT surgery, a competitive fellowship out of a much less competitive residency. While I chose against it for other reasons, it is kind of depressing when you think "All the hard work I did in medical school was just so I could compete and rebuild myself again?"

Amazing post, Peep. Can I borrow the "endless hurdle" phrase? I love it.

With all due respect to my adviser, CT Surgery is not competitive at all. Many programs didn't even fill last year. General Surgery is moderately competitive.

"All the hard work I did in medical school was just so I could compete and rebuild myself again?"

That summarizes everything I want to say basically. Thanks!

 

[DarknightX]

Dude, get over yourself. I can speak as a surgery resident in the academic world your life is a piece of cake right now, sure you have to put on the smile but you still get your weekend off between rotations. Want to know the last time I had a golden weekend? You better get used to doing your best to better your application it is a fact of life for you. Ever hear of pay for performance?... your whole career is going to be filled with hoops in one way or the other, and you are still at the starting line. You better man-up if your heading to surgery.

Skialta PGY2

Wow somebody is grumpy.

 

[mrantarctica]

yeah cardio thoracic surgery is awesome. and despite popular belief - i've heard from current cardiac surgeons who say numbers applying are actually dwindling.

but i love being in theater - and cardiac surgeons are generally cooler than most other surgeons - not so uptight about stuff, and they have really cool hobbies.

i spent 6 weeks basically doing the housejobs for the ct surgery unit in my hospital (after spending 5 weeks of my elective in one of the best and busiest cardiac units in the world, in India), and got to go to theater frequently and had a great time. you become a pro with chest xrays, can handle chest drains like an olympian and theres endless leg suturing to do which is always good for refining your skills! can't wait to apply for cardiothoracic surgery. only 2 years to go!! 😀

 

[mrantarctica]

not to mention being a dab hand at surprising cardiologists with your murmur recognition skills, or learning to read ecg's upside down.

 

[ZonaRidicularis]

z

 

[mjl1717]

I agree with you on two things.

A) The Post Step 1 let down. I felt I broke the studying part of my brain when I did Step 1 and it was very difficult to focus for those shelf examinations after it. It gets better.


B) The "endless hurdle" syndrome. This I definitely agree with. I'm a pretty competitive applicant. One of the fields I was interested in was similar to your CT surgery, a competitive fellowship out of a much less competitive residency. While I chose against it for other reasons, it is kind of depressing when you think "All the hard work I did in medical school was just so I could compete and rebuild myself again?"

Yes-- the "endless hurdle" syndrome- that is a beautiful saying!!👍

 

[mrantarctica]

UPSIDE DOWN!? That's almost as bad as having a heart attack and then the doctor taking your EKG and making you read it on your own.

yes. you have stated the obvious. it was figurative speech rather than totally literal meaning

perhaps it would've been easier for me to say "you get really good at reading ECG's"

for the record, if I were having a heart attack - I would rather read my own ecg.

 

[soeagerun2or]

"All the hard work I did in medical school was just so I could compete and rebuild myself again?"

I don't mean to sound like a dick but are you ******ed? Did you get pissed in high school after you busted your balls to get in a good college only to find out that you had to work hard to get in to medical school? Life is a series of increasingly hard tests and success is measured by your relative ability to successfully navigate the minefield of cashing in your chips and settling where you are currently at. Look at the big man on campus jock football player who is now the assistant french fry technician at Arbys or the frat boy lush who is stuck in middle management somewhere.

Suck it up and succeed or give up and fester; there is no room for slack asses or whiners at the top.

 

[ZonaRidicularis]

z

 

[The Angriest Bird]

I don't mean to sound like a dick but are you ******ed? Did you get pissed in high school after you busted your balls to get in a good college only to find out that you had to work hard to get in to medical school? Life is a series of increasingly hard tests and success is measured by your relative ability to successfully navigate the minefield of cashing in your chips and settling where you are currently at. Look at the big man on campus jock football player who is now the assistant french fry technician at Arbys or the frat boy lush who is stuck in middle management somewhere.

Suck it up and succeed or give up and fester; there is no room for slack asses or whiners at the top.

With all due respect, you definitely don't sound like someone who's in medical school.