I've rewritten my personal statement at least eight times. Help?

[cryhavoc]

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I just don't know what to say.

I say why medicine fascinates me and recount what got me interested. I talk about experiences I've had that prepared me to be a doctor, and formed my views on medicine.

But it always seems so rough.

I can't help my life doesn't flow perfectly like some story. I read other personal statements and they are so free-flowing, intelligent and funny. I'm not a bad writer, I've done well in all my composition classes, but I just can't get it out right.

Some of my letter writers want to see it so I'm trying to finish it tonight.

Advice? I can obviously send them a different one than I ultimately end up turning it, but I want it to be good.

 

[AlteredScale]

Write down all of the experiences that led you toward medicine...don't delete them..even if you have 30 paragraphs.

From that list, find paragraphs that have a unity through a theme such as "community", "perseverance"...this one word should not only identify what you stand for but also how you is study yourself in medicine.

Hopefully that helps a bit!

 

[cryhavoc]

Thanks! I do have community volunteer experience that doesn't relate to medicine. I just enjoy it and hope to give back to my community not just in a medical capacity someday. But since the essay is about "why medicine" I feel awkward putting it in. I could do that stuff without being a doctor. I think it helped me a lot growing up that I received the type of volunteering I now do, but I just can't get it to sound right.

 

[MedNation907]

Does your UG offer any writing services that can help you form the statement?

It wasn't easy for me either, my first 2 drafts were really rough but once I found someone to help me iron out my ideas the process got much easier. I found assistance from my Immunology Professor, so that's also an option depending on your relationships with professors at your school.

 

[cryhavoc]

Hm, I will definitely seek out others before I get done with the main one, but I really need to send it tonight, two of them asked two days ago but I had multiple exams.

 

[BorntobeDO?]

I just don't know what to say.

I say why medicine fascinates me and recount what got me interested. I talk about experiences I've had that prepared me to be a doctor, and formed my views on medicine.

But it always seems so rough.

I can't help my life doesn't flow perfectly like some story. I read other personal statements and they are so free-flowing, intelligent and funny. I'm not a bad writer, I've done well in all my composition classes, but I just can't get it out right.

Some of my letter writers want to see it so I'm trying to finish it tonight.

Advice? I can obviously send them a different one than I ultimately end up turning it, but I want it to be good.

Don't talk about the human body being fascinating. Make it storylike, and make it personal as to why YOU want to be in medicine. Nothing else. Views on medicine not necessary, body being fascinating, not important. Just give me a good reason why you want to become a doctor that doesn't sound fake. If it helps, try and figure out what you want from medicine that you can't get from PA, nursing, etc. Some examples might be independance, a full mastery of the craft, a positive personal experience with a physician.

I would avoid things like 'fulfillment' and 'fascination with the science' as interviewers don't seem to like those. Tho I never used those words I did make the mistake of talking about a desire to gain medical 'knowledge' which is pretty much the same. I have actually found, in my interviews at least, that saying I felt in my particular interest area (fully independent private practice) that I wouldn't feel safe if I didn't have the full medical training, despite the fact that as a nurse practitioner I can practice independently in rural areas, was well received.

I am sure others can help more, but that was my experience. Personal, and a good story seem to be the best advice I found on this site regarding PS.

 

[cryhavoc]

So I can't state any interest in medicine or the body, etc? Because without it my personal statement reads like I should just be a therapist or a social worker.

 

[BorntobeDO?]

So I can't state any interest in medicine or the body, etc? Because without it my personal statement reads like I should just be a therapist or a social worker.

No, tell why you want to be a physician. Don't try to geek it up about the 'science' of medicine. I mean that might work if you have 5 publications, years of research, a 40 MCAT and only apply MD-PHD, but since your applying DO (as you are here in pre-DO), its gonna be more helpful to talk about why you want to be a clinician.

Interest in medicine needs to extend beyond an interest in science. I don't believe (and I think admissions would agree), that a purely scientific interest in medicine is enough for applicants. I would think that you would be very likely to drop out, if this is your only reason. And its kind of a given for any applicant. I need more than this.

Find a real reason, write about that.

edit: If you feel like your personal statement reads like you want to be a therapist or social worker without the 'fluff,' then you need to figure out why both those things wouldn't work for you instead of being a physician. And then you need to put that reason in your PS.

Also, stop rushing. Your app can't even release till June, and won't be late till after Dec for DO. Take the time and do this right. A bad PS released on the first day that AACOMAS opens is not better than a good one released in Dec (I should know I got 2 acceptances from Dec primaries).

Do it right! 👍

 

[cryhavoc]

I wanted to write about how I'm interested in the human body, but that I originally thought that all a doctor did was act as a scientist, being presented with an issue and curing it with cold, clinical precision. But from my experiences, I decided a doctor needs to be that and much more. That the reason why I want to be a physician is because I feel from my personal experiences that if I were a physician, I would have a certain set of qualities that would be capable of treating people and not just acting like a scientist.

But it sounds generic. It is basically what DO's do, and I sound like I'm faking it to match their views when I honestly think that way . . .

 

[BorntobeDO?]

I wanted to write about how I'm interested in the human body, but that I originally thought that all a doctor did was act as a scientist, being presented with an issue and curing it with cold, clinical precision. But from my experiences, I decided a doctor needs to be that and much more. That the reason why I want to be a physician is because I feel from my personal experiences that if I were a physician, I would have a certain set of qualities that would be capable of treating people and not just acting like a scientist.

But it sounds generic. It is basically what DO's do, and I sound like I'm faking it to match their views when I honestly think that way . . .

Sweet Lord that was dry! Do it better, needs to be way more personal and way less generic.

Don't say a 'certain set of qualities,' tell me the qualities and then back it up with a personal experience/example of you exhibiting those qualities. Be honest about yourself and don't worry what the admission committee will think. Just give them real reasons, with examples, and personal experiences that are specific to you.

Anyhow, I agree with you that you need help, but its gonna have to come from yourself. Only you know the real reasons, and you need to find a way to get them out there in an insightful and unique way that will represent who you are.

Is that statement above really who you are? Cause I don't want to meet that person, it makes you sound shallow, and like you possess a bunch of naive assumptions that I am gonna have to break you of, one by one by one. I don't think you would agree with that assessment of yourself, so put something out there that better reflects you. You can do it, your not a robot.

 

[MedNation907]

I wanted to write about how I'm interested in the human body, but that I originally thought that all a doctor did was act as a scientist, being presented with an issue and curing it with cold, clinical precision. But from my experiences, I decided a doctor needs to be that and much more. That the reason why I want to be a physician is because I feel from my personal experiences that if I were a physician, I would have a certain set of qualities that would be capable of treating people and not just acting like a scientist.

But it sounds generic. It is basically what DO's do, and I sound like I'm faking it to match their views when I honestly think that way . . .

I get what you mean but you have to approach from a different angle. There are scientists and their are doctors who practice clinical medicine, it sounds like you're throwing part of the profession under the bus. Instead of using a specific comparison, just focus on expanding upon those said qualities that (you believe) will make you a compassionate physician.

So [since you don't have a crazy-awesome experience that can open and stage the entire statement like the majority of applicants] just start by writing chronologically. What turned your attention to medicine? How did it grow from there? What experiences did you have that led you to believe you possess those said qualities? What experiences helped you further develop those qualities?

When you actually do start writing, keep reminding yourself that you should be reflecting throughout the entire statement. In other words, remain subjective; always answer 'how did this experience impact me?' because that is what they want to know, not simply the experience itself.

 

[BorntobeDO?]

I get what you mean but you have to approach from a different angle. There are scientists and their are doctors who practice clinical medicine, it sounds like you're throwing part of the profession under the bus. Instead of using a specific comparison, just focus on expanding upon those said qualities that (you believe) will make you a compassionate physician.

So [since you don't have a crazy-awesome experience that can open and stage the entire statement like the majority of applicants] just start by writing chronologically. What turned your attention to medicine? How did it grow from there? What experiences did you have that led you to believe you possess those said qualities? What experiences helped you further develop those qualities?

When you actually do start writing, keep reminding yourself that you should be reflecting throughout the entire statement. In other words, remain subjective; always answer 'how did this experience impact me?' because that is what they want to know, not simply the experience itself.

I would actually say that's the minority. But the rest of the message is spot on, everyone has some sort of experience. Tell us how yours lead you to this point, and why you feel that you must become a doctor (and it needs to be must).

 

[cryhavoc]

Well, it is hard to not throw anyone under the bus. I've seen certain types of patients get mistreated, and working with them helped me to learn they weren't lost causes, but that their bad experiences made it difficult to trust anyone. And how from seeing things from their perspective and being patient, I was able to gain their trust. I believe that a patient who can trust his or her doctor, and isn't written off is more likely to go through with procedures.

I mean, I tried to word it delicately. That the stuff was overworked and I was glad I could lend a hand. It seems like everything you're telling is not to do is part of the reason I want to do it . . .

How am I supposed to say helping a patient as a volunteer left me with the belief that I must become a doctor.

This is confusing.

 

[MedNation907]

The idea there is fine, in my opinion. It honestly boils down to semantics, which governed my last response. It's as much what you say as it is how you say it. Maybe I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to stuff like that but it's hard to really give you any direction right now when all we're offered is quick-cooked excerpts from what you think is your underlying message.

I'm gonna say the limitation here is time. If you're looking to have a well-written PS by tonight (?) I just don't think that's going to happen. If it's strictly for your letter writers, perhaps it'll be good enough for them. When you have a rough draft that carries the message you want to convey, I would be glad to read over it and offer advice from there.

 

[cryhavoc]

Should your personal statement mention your grades or academics?

 

[MedNation907]

I'd say it definitely doesn't have to be mentioned at all. I used 'academics' in my statement in coordination with another motive/idea I was explaining.

 

[PlaqueBuster]

Send me your current draft of PS if you want and I can give you a suggestion of how to organize it around a theme.