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Jenny McJennyson sent me these two gems over the weekend:
1.) 2 year old male child has a simple febrile seizure. Mom says that they called their doctors office, and spoke with Jenny McJennyson, who directed them to the ER after telling mom that the child would need a CT of the brain to rule-out brain tumor. No joke. Thankfully, mom was reasonable. Kid is totally fine. Afebrile. Playful. We spared him the radiation after a good heart-to-heart. I asked mom: "I'm sorry, who did you speak with at your doctor's office again?"
"Jenny McJennyson."
I recognized Jenny's actual name. Mom saw the look on my face and asked me to just say what it was that was on my mind.
I actually said: "Yep. I know this person. Allow me to be impolite for a second, but honest?"
*Mom nods*.
"Jenny McJennyson is proof that you can be a unintelligent, and have an NP degree."
Mom looked back at me and nodded in agreement.
"Yep. That's what I thought. We've gotten to know this person, and were very suspect of her knowledge base. Thank you."
2.) Jenny McJennyson calls from the local memory care unit. Says that despite one week's worth of lovenox, that this 96 year old female's DVT was only getting worse, and that she needed to be admitted for heparin and a vascular consult. I told her that we don't have vascular surgery at this facility, and to keep that in mind when deciding where to send this patient.
Nevermind that, Jenny sent Grandma to us anyways, of course, at 9:45 PM. No ultrasound reports accompanied the patient, just the face-sheet and the DNR.
"Get Jenny back on the phone, please", I said to my unit clerk.
"Jenny here!"
"Hey, RustedFox here; I have no radiology reports here whatsoever. I can't act on this without knowing what I'm getting into. Can you please have Death Acres Memory Care Unit send me the ultrasounds?"
"Uhmmm. Okay!"
One ultrasound gets sent from 10 days ago, confirming DVT in the LLE.
Family has now shown up. I ask them when the second ultrasound was done to confirm that the DVT failed to respond to therapy.
"Uh, no. Only one ultrasound was done."
"Get Jenny back on the phone, please."
"Jenny here! What seems to be the problem?!" (Audibly pissy that I have called her again.)
"Where's the follow-up study confirming propagation of the DVT? I only have one ultrasound."
"Uhmm.... we didn't do one."
"So, you called me earlier to say that the patient needed to be admitted for services that I told you we don't have at this facility because of a propagating DVT, but you didn't do a second study? How can you know that the clot burden is worse if you didn't repeat the study!?"
Well.... the leg just didn't LOOK any better. It was Dr. El-Kaboom who told me to send her.
"Get Dr. El-Kaboom on the phone, please."
I had the exact same conversation with Dr. El-Kaboom, who was pissy as well.
"How can you send a patient for failure to respond, when you don't know that they've failed to respond? That's called LYING." (I actually said this)
"What; you can't get an ultrasound?" (Ignoring my question altogether).
"US is not in-house. This poor family is going to have to wait a long time for US to come in, do the study, have rads read it; and this patient may not even have needed to be sent to me!"
"Oh, robbledy-robble-robbl-"
"Fine. I'll take care of them."
*Click*
....
Two hours later:
"Negative study for DVT."
1.) 2 year old male child has a simple febrile seizure. Mom says that they called their doctors office, and spoke with Jenny McJennyson, who directed them to the ER after telling mom that the child would need a CT of the brain to rule-out brain tumor. No joke. Thankfully, mom was reasonable. Kid is totally fine. Afebrile. Playful. We spared him the radiation after a good heart-to-heart. I asked mom: "I'm sorry, who did you speak with at your doctor's office again?"
"Jenny McJennyson."
I recognized Jenny's actual name. Mom saw the look on my face and asked me to just say what it was that was on my mind.
I actually said: "Yep. I know this person. Allow me to be impolite for a second, but honest?"
*Mom nods*.
"Jenny McJennyson is proof that you can be a unintelligent, and have an NP degree."
Mom looked back at me and nodded in agreement.
"Yep. That's what I thought. We've gotten to know this person, and were very suspect of her knowledge base. Thank you."
2.) Jenny McJennyson calls from the local memory care unit. Says that despite one week's worth of lovenox, that this 96 year old female's DVT was only getting worse, and that she needed to be admitted for heparin and a vascular consult. I told her that we don't have vascular surgery at this facility, and to keep that in mind when deciding where to send this patient.
Nevermind that, Jenny sent Grandma to us anyways, of course, at 9:45 PM. No ultrasound reports accompanied the patient, just the face-sheet and the DNR.
"Get Jenny back on the phone, please", I said to my unit clerk.
"Jenny here!"
"Hey, RustedFox here; I have no radiology reports here whatsoever. I can't act on this without knowing what I'm getting into. Can you please have Death Acres Memory Care Unit send me the ultrasounds?"
"Uhmmm. Okay!"
One ultrasound gets sent from 10 days ago, confirming DVT in the LLE.
Family has now shown up. I ask them when the second ultrasound was done to confirm that the DVT failed to respond to therapy.
"Uh, no. Only one ultrasound was done."
"Get Jenny back on the phone, please."
"Jenny here! What seems to be the problem?!" (Audibly pissy that I have called her again.)
"Where's the follow-up study confirming propagation of the DVT? I only have one ultrasound."
"Uhmm.... we didn't do one."
"So, you called me earlier to say that the patient needed to be admitted for services that I told you we don't have at this facility because of a propagating DVT, but you didn't do a second study? How can you know that the clot burden is worse if you didn't repeat the study!?"
Well.... the leg just didn't LOOK any better. It was Dr. El-Kaboom who told me to send her.
"Get Dr. El-Kaboom on the phone, please."
I had the exact same conversation with Dr. El-Kaboom, who was pissy as well.
"How can you send a patient for failure to respond, when you don't know that they've failed to respond? That's called LYING." (I actually said this)
"What; you can't get an ultrasound?" (Ignoring my question altogether).
"US is not in-house. This poor family is going to have to wait a long time for US to come in, do the study, have rads read it; and this patient may not even have needed to be sent to me!"
"Oh, robbledy-robble-robbl-"
"Fine. I'll take care of them."
*Click*
....
Two hours later:
"Negative study for DVT."
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