Job Advice

[skougess]

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Most parents sacrifice more for their kids than anyone else. Some pay for their college education. Some help them throughout life. They sacrifice their retirement so kids can have.

To turn your back when they need help or made some poor life decisions seem harsh when you are able to help.

I am bullet proofing my retirement so my kids do not need to confront this decision. Another decision we choose to make for our kids. But if for some reason we had some unforeseen catastrophe, it would be sad if I am in the medicare nursing home watching the paint try when they are living in mansions taking high end vacations.

Inlaws falls into the same company b/c it is my wife's family. Her Parents are my parents

I think it’s cool to help your parents when you can. I know I would. However, I strongly feel that a parents’ sacrifice for their children is a non-consideration. That’s what they signed up for when they created you from scratch. There is no “payback” built into that deal, and any parent that tries to say otherwise is a selfish human and any guilt you feel based on that is misplaced.

Help them because you love them and/or they are good people. Not because they did what they were supposed to do when they unilaterally decided to have children

 

[emergentmd]

Help them because you love them and/or they are good people. Not because they did what they were supposed to do when they unilaterally decided to have children

I do not believe kids owe parents anything. I give to charities who I will never meet and what kind of person would I be to not give to my parents who I grew up with.

 

[Groove]

Most parents sacrifice more for their kids than anyone else. Some pay for their college education. Some help them throughout life. They sacrifice their retirement so kids can have.

To turn your back when they need help or made some poor life decisions seem harsh when you are able to help.

I am bullet proofing my retirement so my kids do not need to confront this decision. Another decision we choose to make for our kids. But if for some reason we had some unforeseen catastrophe, it would be sad if I am in the medicare nursing home watching the paint try when they are living in mansions taking high end vacations.

Inlaws falls into the same company b/c it is my wife's family. Her Parents are my parents

I'm with you buddy and you know I love you but some of us have REALLY f'd up families and parents. I've gone to great lengths to put myself through college, masters, med school, pay off loans, and save for retirement without owing or needing anything from my multi-million dollar net worth parents. I will always be there for them out of a familial duty when they are near the end but some families are so messed up that you have to create extremely strong boundaries just to preserve your own sanity/happiness. I go to great lengths to not accept ANY and all gifts/money/help from my parents because virtually everything comes with strings attached. I know that's not the type of situation you are referring to but.... What's so funny about our situation is that my wife has an almost identical relationship with her own family so we are definitely not reflective of the majority of situations out there but I get what you mean.

 

[emergentmd]

I'm with you buddy and you know I love you but some of us have REALLY f'd up families and parents. I've gone to great lengths to put myself through college, masters, med school, pay off loans, and save for retirement without owing or needing anything from my multi-million dollar net worth parents. I will always be there for them out of a familial duty when they are near the end but some families are so messed up that you have to create extremely strong boundaries just to preserve your own sanity/happiness. I go to great lengths to not accept ANY and all gifts/money/help from my parents because virtually everything comes with strings attached. I know that's not the type of situation you are referring to but.... What's so funny about our situation is that my wife has an almost identical relationship with her own family so we are definitely not reflective of the majority of situations out there but I get what you mean.

I see crazy families. I am super lucky that my wife & I have immediate family that are all normal hard working people. Our parents are the same. But I know some cousins/distant that do suck.

Boundaries always have to be set for some family members. We are fortunate that we do not need monetary help from anyone b/c we don't ever want to have strings attached but we are happy to give without strings attached. We like the one way street when it comes to money. Money given is always gifts and never "loans" as this starts to create expectations. I NEVER do business with family members.

My wife has a rich Aunt that seems to always have strings attached. We never accept $$ or anything tangible from her, b/c the last thing we want to hear is some guilt trip sob story. My wife grew up with the rich Aunt and was told she would get 1/4 of her estate BUT my wife told her straight up to give it to her other 3 kids. She is probably giving up 1-3M but money is never worth compromising our character.

 

[alpinism]

Wealthy Dad Surprises Child With Tree House He Can Airbnb For Passive Income

WILMETTE, IL—Telling the child not to peek as they walked into the backyard, local wealthy man Kenneth Schweitz reportedly surprised his son Tuesday with a tree house that the young boy could Airbnb for passive income. “It’s time you got your own little space that can be rented out for...

theonion.com

 

[DocEspana]

taking it.

I can finally cut back on shifts from 18+ shifts per month to 12 (or less) and *still* get a sizeable pay raise. More time with the wife and kid is an objective improvement that I can't recreate here. Thats good for the family even if everyone is a bit anxious about how our enmeshed larger family ties will adjust to it.... they can always fly up and we can fly down with plenty of frequency.

 

[AlmostAnMD]

good luck!

Unhappy is the man that that says he wishes he had less time with his family


Hopefully you find satisfaction in your new endeavor as well. Satisfaction in the job is what makes working worth it, not money, imo. I'm doing multiple court appearances this month at state fair hearings and I get giddy thinking about how I'm going to destroy insurance companies. Not EM anymore, obviously, but I used to lay in bed and worry about going to work, now I lay in bed and strategize how I'm going to wreck havoc on insurance in the morning.

As a 40 hr a week job I don't have your free time but I'm there for every breakfast, dinner and weekend which with two active young kids keeps us busy. A far cry from your 12--what a change! When I was in the ED my life noticeably improved when I went from 18 shifts to 13 (ultimately went to 8 then zero). I'm sure you'll appreciate the difference.

 

[Bittersteel]

good luck!

Unhappy is the man that that says he wishes he had less time with his family


Hopefully you find satisfaction in your new endeavor as well. Satisfaction in the job is what makes working worth it, not money, imo. I'm doing multiple court appearances this month at state fair hearings and I get giddy thinking about how I'm going to destroy insurance companies. Not EM anymore, obviously, but I used to lay in bed and worry about going to work, now I lay in bed and strategize how I'm going to wreck havoc on insurance in the morning.

As a 40 hr a week job I don't have your free time but I'm there for every breakfast, dinner and weekend which with two active young kids keeps us busy. A far cry from your 12--what a change! When I was in the ED my life noticeably improved when I went from 18 shifts to 13 (ultimately went to 8 then zero). I'm sure you'll appreciate the difference.

Freedom and time with family and friends is the ultimate commodity.

The more I do this job the more I know that I was never meant to do it.

Luckily the money will provide for early freedom but it sucks to go into every shift counting down the days till you are able to never walk into an ED again.