joke thread

[far123]

Hey Guys,
Since we all r waitin badly for our acceptance/interviews, this forum is getting a lil scary... y dont we add a joke thread to make it a lil more fun? I have the first one...
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair. . .try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair of false teeth. . .try them." The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his address. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm the local undertaker."

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[trident007]

Aha.. excellent idea!

To give this joke context, it was told to me by my anatomy prof when we were learning about the .. um, anal canal. It's a good one though, albeit a bit nerdy (aka perfect for SDN):

The parts of the body are sitting at a bar (.. work with me here). After a few drinks, they start to talk about who is the most important part of the body.

First the brain speaks up. "Clearly, I am the most important. I control so many things and am responsible for higher processing.. nothing could be more important than that".

Hearing that, the muscles of the body spoke up: "You may control everything, but without us the body would never be able to move. You would just sit there, helpless, therefore we are clearly the most important".

Sitting at the other end of the bar was the external anal sphincter. Timidly, the ext. anal sphincter spoke up: "I disagree.. I think that I am the most important part of the body". It was barely out of his mouth when all of the other parts of the body laughed at him - especially the muscles and the brain.

Sooo... the ext. anal sphincter decided to teach them a lesson... and clamped up...

After a few days, everything began to back up. The brain couldn't think straight and the muscles were all out of whack. At that point, they all agreed that the ext. anal sphincter was the most important part of the body.

MORAL OF THE STORY: To get ahead in life, you don't have to be smart.. you don't have to be strong.. you just have to be an @sshole!

 

[OMFS08]

HAHAAHHAHAHAHH!!!!!! Oh my goodness, those two were extremely funny. I am really in good spirits now for monday. I have a small but powerful joke. Here goes (not related to dentistry):

There was this dog that lived in a village and it had 4 brothers. Each day the mother would feed them he would drink all his milk and eat all his bones then fight his siblings and take theirs. Needless to say the others were not happy about this and constantly warned him "look you are too greedy, surely this will be your downfall". However, the dog laughed feeling he was too smart for anything to happen. Well, on a gloomy evening, the dog had stumbled upon some bone that another dog was holding and he wrestled the dog and took it's bone and off he went, proudly with his head in the air. Eventually the dog came upon a river/lake and he looked down and saw another dog with a bone in its mouth. So greedy was he that he angrily attacked the dog to try and take its bone. He fought and fought and fought but not only did he lose his bone that he was holding but also the other bone that he tried to take.

Funny part is, he was so greedy that he had seen his own reflection in the water and thats what he thought was another dog hahhahahahahahah!!!!!

Moral of the story: don't be greedy!

 

[Flossy13]

well weve all heard these....

"so two atoms are sitting at a bar. one atom says to the other "i think ive lost an electron!" the other says "are you sure?!" and he replies, "I'm positive!"

"so silver and phosphorus are sitting at the bar, having a very private conversation. the nosey gold walks up and tries to get a listen in, so they yell "A U! (Au...Ey you!) get outta here!"

...personally i prefer the ones which require no brain....

"whats beethovens favorite fruit? --------- a ba-na-na-naa"

(im a blonde so i hear plenty of these, this is my personal fav)
"so 3 blondes walk into a bar cheering "51 days! 51 days!" They order a round of drinks, "51 days!!" Finally the bartender asks, "51 days? what is this 51 days you guys are cheerin about?" and the blondes reply, "A jigsaw puzzle - on the back it said 3-5 years, and we did it in 51 DAYS!!!!"


good luck everyone