Kissed by a customer

[HaleyRX]

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I work at CVS, and I'm about to get my tech permit (should be in the mail any day now). Anyways, there is a man who comes in there regularly for his scripts and he is always really extra friendly to me. I just play it off and don't give him any extra attention.
Well a couple of days ago he saw me working for the first time in a while and he reached over the counter and hugged me. It was awkward so I just kinda stood there, barely reaching my arms out. He then kissed me on the cheek!! Before he left, he grabbed my hand and held onto it for a bit.
I was so uncomfortable!! I know to some people this might not be a big deal, but to me it is. I am not a very physically open person, I don't go around hugging men, even those I see frequently. I have only seen this man in this exact situation: me as a pharmacy clerk, him as a customer. He has invited me out before and I have turned him down. He is married and older than my father.
Don't you think he was a bit out of line?
What really PISSED ME OFF, is that I complained to the PIC about it and he said "oh! wow! that's something!" and I told him how uncomfortable I felt and he said "no kiddin!" The problem is that my PIC is such a pansy that he refuses to take a stand on anything. Is that even fair? I thought he was there to help me out, at least somewhat.
Meanwhile, I'm left wondering what to do when this man comes back to get his refills again. I'm often chained to the counter, and I don't know how I'd be able to avoid him.

 

[Utterdevotion]

I PMed you Haley

I work at CVS, and I'm about to get my tech permit (should be in the mail any day now). Anyways, there is a man who comes in there regularly for his scripts and he is always really extra friendly to me. I just play it off and don't give him any extra attention.
Well a couple of days ago he saw me working for the first time in a while and he reached over the counter and hugged me. It was awkward so I just kinda stood there, barely reaching my arms out. He then kissed me on the cheek!! Before he left, he grabbed my hand and held onto it for a bit.
I was so uncomfortable!! I know to some people this might not be a big deal, but to me it is. I am not a very physically open person, I don't go around hugging men, even those I see frequently. I have only seen this man in this exact situation: me as a pharmacy clerk, him as a customer. He has invited me out before and I have turned him down. He is married and older than my father.
Don't you think he was a bit out of line?
What really PISSED ME OFF, is that I complained to the PIC about it and he said "oh! wow! that's something!" and I told him how uncomfortable I felt and he said "no kiddin!" The problem is that my PIC is such a pansy that he refuses to take a stand on anything. Is that even fair? I thought he was there to help me out, at least somewhat.
Meanwhile, I'm left wondering what to do when this man comes back to get his refills again. I'm often chained to the counter, and I don't know how I'd be able to avoid him.

 

[steveysmith54]

hmm. I get yelled, smacked, cursed, spit on by my customers.

 

[Utterdevotion]

hmm. I get yelled, smacked, cursed, spit on by my customers.

Wow, that SUCKS.

I've been yelled and cursed at. But overall, my store has very friendly customers so it is rare, and is usually a new customer that never comes back.

But as tiny as I look, I most definitely do not tolerate smacking and spitting; regardless of how civil/professional I should be.

 

[PharmDstudent]

I would take a short break if he returns. Since the PIC won't take a stand for you, obviously the customer and the PIC are friends, you need to take a stand for yourself!

 

[Knickerbocker]

hmm. I get yelled, smacked, cursed, spit on by my customers.

It's nice to know that our country is so full of absolutely wonderful people.

God bless America!

 

[azPharmD2B]

Have you brought this up to the district manager? Regional manager? I'm not talking about the kiss, I'm talking about the PIC basically shrugging it off. You have rights at work and these are all very clearly spelled out in CVS's corporate policies. If your PIC doesn't have the balls to take action, you need to go over their head and demand the situation be resolved and the PIC reprimanded for inaction.

 

[jspwinter]

I think you guys are overreacting. In many countries, its customary to kiss each other on the cheek so don't think too much of it. If it happens again, just quietly mention to the person that it makes you feel uncomfortable and you would like for him to stop. That would be the best way to handle it.

 

[Farmercyst]

Have you brought this up to the district manager? Regional manager? I'm not talking about the kiss, I'm talking about the PIC basically shrugging it off. You have rights at work and these are all very clearly spelled out in CVS's corporate policies. If your PIC doesn't have the balls to take action, you need to go over their head and demand the situation be resolved and the PIC reprimanded for inaction.

Have you told the PIC that you're looking for more than sympathy and understanding and that you'd like him to do something about it. Maybe it's just 'cause I'm a guy, but somethings need to be explicitly communicated. Of course it's also easy to be an armchair QB, but it was just a thought.

 

[Knickerbocker]

I think you guys are overreacting. In many countries, its customary to kiss each other on the cheek so don't think too much of it. If it happens again, just quietly mention to the person that it makes you feel uncomfortable and you would like for him to stop. That would be the best way to handle it.

Yes, it is in some countries. However, this complaint is from someone in the US. Everyone knows that you don't go around kissing and touching people here without permission.

 

[HaleyRX]

In many countries, its customary to kiss each other on the cheek

But not in this one. And after I have turned down his offers to go out then it should send the message that his advances are not welcome.
I read all kinds of things on this forum and I do not feel that we, as employees of pharmacies, should not be made to deal with such uncomfortable situations. As for the worker who gets smacked and spit on, there is NO WAY I would tolerate that.
Farmercyst, I will try communicating my thoughts to the PIC again. Of course I'm dealing with a PIC who will do anything--even breaks laws regarding controls--to please the customers. I am not exaggerating. I have seen it happen time and time again.

 

[Farmercyst]

But not in this one. And after I have turned down his offers to go out then it should send the message that his advances are not welcome.
I read all kinds of things on this forum and I do not feel that we, as employees of pharmacies, should not be made to deal with such uncomfortable situations. As for the worker who gets smacked and spit on, there is NO WAY I would tolerate that.
Farmercyst, I will try communicating my thoughts to the PIC again. Of course I'm dealing with a PIC who will do anything--even breaks laws regarding controls--to please the customers. I am not exaggerating. I have seen it happen time and time again.

Yeah, if he bends that much to public pressure, it may require going higher, but I'd still give him the "right of first refusal" if you will. If he refuses to act, then go up the ladder. As far as the breaking the law, if there is an anonymous tipline, I might be tempted to use it😉.

 

[jspwinter]

Yes, it is in some countries. However, this complaint is from someone in the US. Everyone knows that you don't go around kissing and touching people here without permission.

Well you gotta realize that this country is full of idiots/ignorant people who don't understand you can get into alot of trouble for even attempting to make any sort of physical contact with another person. It's one thing if someone does this and you stand there and take it and not say a word but if you show your displeasure in his actions but he repeatedly does it, then by all means, let him have it.

 

[Hels2007]

Call the store manager and have the customer escorted out of the store and banned from the grounds (I had that done to some repeat offenders, though the cursing/attempting to throw stuff kind). Store manager may also explain to him that sexual harrassment (yeah, I just got management training on sexual harassment... (and this will count under many companies' policies)) is a punishable offense. Perfectly legal, and perfectly civil solution - at least you won't have to deal with the guy again.

 

[steveysmith54]

It's nice to know that our country is so full of absolutely wonderful people.

God bless America!

Maybe I exaggerated a bit. I have personally been yelled at, cursed at, and once thrown paper at.

One of our night pharmacist was physically attacked because he refused to give someone percocet.

 

[PharmDstudent]

Call the store manager and have the customer escorted out of the store and banned from the grounds (I had that done to some repeat offenders, though the cursing/attempting to throw stuff kind). Store manager may also explain to him that sexual harrassment (yeah, I just got management training on sexual harassment... (and this will count under many companies' policies)) is a punishable offense. Perfectly legal, and perfectly civil solution - at least you won't have to deal with the guy again.

There's only one problem...the customer is a highly respected person in society. This situation is going to be a tough battle if the PIC doesn't address it personally. Unless the store manager watches a video of the incident, it's her word against his.
Again, I'm sorry this happened Haley 🙁.

 

[FLIGHT]

remember a job is only a job... there is a lot of way to make money in this world... some time you get more in life just stand up for yourself...


My friend had a boss who would try to look under her shirt.... after trying to go to her boss with out any luck she left the company...

the guy who try to look under her blouse was later fired after my friend boss was demoted

remember things change and your rights is always your right....

even if it is not stated by your boss...


remember money is not you.. you make the money and the money do not own you....

my two cents peace out.

 

[no-see-um]

Call the store manager and have the customer escorted out of the store and banned from the grounds (I had that done to some repeat offenders, though the cursing/attempting to throw stuff kind). Store manager may also explain to him that sexual harrassment (yeah, I just got management training on sexual harassment... (and this will count under many companies' policies)) is a punishable offense. Perfectly legal, and perfectly civil solution - at least you won't have to deal with the guy again.

I agree that banning from the store is the right thing to do for the 'cursing/throwing stuff kind', but this situation calls more for a PIC to place the worker in a better, less hostile work environment that does not oblige her to wait on this patient. If I were the PIC, I'd ring the customer out myself. Banning is overboard. If anything, they should tell the PIC that this is a pretty important issue and to deal with it. It becomes sexual harrassment when they refuse to do anything and it becomes a hostile work environment.

A lot of the patients who walk into pharmacies are there for psych reasons, so it's important to have some protocol and problem solving skills to diffuse these situations with such patients.

Haley, you should talk to the PIC, most importantly, (since it could diffuse the situation), you should tell the PIC specifically that you 'do not wish to wait on this customer again'. You may have said WHAT happened, but he will have to explicitly be told this remedy because he can not put 2 and 2 together, unfortunately. You told him the situation, and he brushed it off and couldn't understand how you feel. What matters is actions and you need to tell him the remedy you request. That will wake him up, and may mean you don't have to go to the next step...

(keep in mind, this is just how I'd handle it)

As for the next step- if that doesn't work, talk to the district manager and tell him or her that you refuse to wait on this patient because you were accosted by him in a physical manner. Stick to the facts- date, time, what happened specifically and do not editorialize.

Say that you are concerned because your PIC said, "Oh, Wow! That's Something!" and did not honor your verbal request for a modification with regards to your concern. If nothing happens, send it as a formalized letter stating the same exact thing. Doesn't your pharmacy have an incident reporting system? This surely qualifies. Perhaps you should write up the incident and append it to the form, if necessary.

Be respectful at all times, but make sure you have effectively communicated what you need!

 

[HaleyRX]

I talked to the PIC about the situation again yesterday. At first I told him it made me really uncomfortable and I felt it was wrong. He looked at me and just kind of nodded. So I said "how would you like it if **insert old creepy woman customer's name here** came up and kissed you?" and he said "oh, wow. I see what you mean now." and he agreed to talk to the customer about the incident.
I am so glad that he agreed to talk to him! Hopefully he'll be able to soon--and I'm hoping that he sticks to that promise!

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your PMs and replies..I really appreciate it, I like having this forum as a place to discuss these things that we shouldn't have to deal with!

 

[sdn1977]

I talked to the PIC about the situation again yesterday. At first I told him it made me really uncomfortable and I felt it was wrong. He looked at me and just kind of nodded. So I said "how would you like it if **insert old creepy woman customer's name here** came up and kissed you?" and he said "oh, wow. I see what you mean now." and he agreed to talk to the customer about the incident.
I am so glad that he agreed to talk to him! Hopefully he'll be able to soon--and I'm hoping that he sticks to that promise!

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your PMs and replies..I really appreciate it, I like having this forum as a place to discuss these things that we shouldn't have to deal with!

Haley, sorry I haven't been here in a few days & I'm glad you went to the PIC.

This is a pretty clear cut issue of harassment. It doesn't matter who said, she said, he said. The issue with harrassment is that you feel uncomfortable. You have clear & defined legal protections, but you must document, document, document.

Now that you've taken the first step, you can't stop here. You were given very correct advice that your first step is to contact your immediate supervisor - the PIC. However, you must document the specifics of what took place in the conversation, when, who was there & what was agreed as to the resolution.

This is not to get your PIC in trouble. Rather, it is to protect you, your PIC & the company. This should then go to your human resources dept & both you, the PIC & the DM should keep a copy of it. Unless your store manager is over the pharmacy (which is not the case in my retail situation), the store manager does not need this.

This will help document your situation if this goes beyond the workplace (stalking) and give both you and your PIC assistance in dealing with this customer without any undue pressures.

I would suggest you ask your PIC to document your conversation with him for this purpose. I would bet he/she would actually do this willingly. If not, do it yourself & provide him/her a copy with the ability to change it if he/she feels it needs to be. It should be factual & not emotional. You should be allowed to state your discomfort in terms which get across your feelings, but not your emotional extreme (ie - I felt uncomfortable, pressured, embarrassed, confined, etc...rather than "pissed off", angry, etc).

As an employee & also a PIC, I would encourage you to follow the clear directions which we as employees are given with regard to harrassment & very, very clear directions as PICs when someone complains of harrassment either by our employees or to our employees. You should have no contact with this customer and your PIC will be given direction by the corporation's legal department with regard to how to deal with the customer without escalating the situation.

Good luck Haley & please, don't stop here.