Kushkeeee Journals--How Do You Know?

[Kushkeeee]

I'm experiencing a down moment and need to vent. I wonder if everyone experiences the kind of self-doubt and lack of confidence I experience. I wonder if this is normal, or if it's a signal that maybe doctoral training isn't for me. How do you know the difference between normal self-doubt/worry/second guessing, and feelings which might indicate this isn't the route you should be taking?

It seems like everytime I go to a wedding, or birthday party outing, or baby shower I question this direction I"ve taken with psychology. I'm 25 now (will be 26 in January). Assuming I get accepted into a program in fall 2005, and assuming it takes me 6 years to complete the program, this means I will be 32/33 when I am done. I feel like everything else in my life is going to be put on hold while I"m pursuing a doctorate degree because I will be so consumed with my studies. And I wonder if I have the stamina for this type of committment. Is this just my fear of committment talking, and therefore, something I should ignore, or is there more to it? Am I just afraid of failure, or am I doing something that in 2 years from now I'll regret?

How do you know?

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[PsychMode]

How do you know?

Good question. I'm 27 and racked with self-doubt. How do I know? I'm not sure, I just know. I just kind of feel it. I know that I desperately want a PhD, and I won't be satisfied with anything less. However... I will definitely take less if I don't get into a clinical program...

 

[twiggers]

I'm almost 27 and certainly feel doubt.....maybe not doubt but excessive worry. Worry that if I don't get into a program I'm failing my husband, that our lives will be put on hold for a year (since I'm only applying to Midwest programs and we're in California) if I don't get in..etc etc. I also feel that if I dlon't get in I'll be an overall general failure....it would be the first time that I wouldn't have gotten into something I applied for. So definitely stressful. PhD is what I want though....took me years to figure it out. If it's not clinical then hopefully it'll be developmental.

As for putting life on hold for 6 years.....well I'll be in my 30s too....life hasn't been on hold for me the last couple years of undergrad and it's been stressful combining studies with a family and a house to take care of, but nonetheless in the long run it'll be worth it.
Do I want to schlep around making 10-15$ an hour for the rest of my life? NOPE and that is my single biggest motivating factor. There's things I want to do in life that an education will make possible...and if those things get put on hold..oh well....being 33 and graduating isn't the end of the world....you'll still have about another 50 years left to live it up.