Although many program directors simply dismiss applicant statements of intent, we instead suggest that less savvy program directors simply learn the language of obfuscation
[5]. To help, we offer this translation guide. All quotations listed are real-world postinterview communications from applicants, and all translations represent the densely jaded views of experienced, and slightly cynical, program directors.
Quotation: “You are the ideal program for me.”
Translation: You are an ideal program for me. Or at least you’re good enough. Please rank me highly in case I don’t get my top choice.
Quotation: “I can’t overstate what an amazing program you have and how perfectly it fits my needs.”
Translation: Obviously, I can overstate my opinion of your program. In fact, I just did, hopefully to my advantage.
Quotation: “I am ranking you in my top 2.”
Translation: You are number 2 on my rank list. If you were number 1, I would have said that you were number 1.
Quotation: “I am ranking you in my top 3.”
Translation: I could get more specific, but I’m not going to.
Quotation: “You are at the top of my list.”
Translation: If you consider that my original list theoretically included every radiology residency program in the country, then certainly the “top” could include 10 to 15 programs. If even 1 program interprets this as a number 1 ranking, I’m ahead of the game.
Quotation: “You are the tippy top of my list.”
Translation: My advisor warned me that everyone tells programs they’re at the top of their list, so I’ll try to take it a step further and hope you will interpret “tippy top” as being even more exclusive. But I’m not ranking you first. At the very least, please appreciate the linguistic acrobatics I am capable of in trying to convince you that I am ranking you number 1.
Quotation: “I have been telling everyone that I’m ranking you #1!”
Translation: See what I’ve done here? I’m not telling you I’m ranking you number 1, so I’m not misrepresenting anything. I’ve told you that I have been telling everyone that I’m ranking you number 1, which is tough to verify, and may even be true. Plus, I included an exclamation point at the end for added emphasis!! But I have no intention of ranking you number 1.