Living alone?

[JubJub603]

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Hi everyone,

I was hoping to get some insight from current students who decided to live alone for their MS1 year. I realize this depends a lot on personal preference, but it would be nice to hear some others weigh in if only to share their personal experiences.

I've spent the last 5 years living with other people, from sharing a single bedroom with two other guys in the dorms, to sharing a bedroom in a 2 bedroom apt, to now having my own room in a 4 bedroom house. I've grown very accustomed to living with other people and the social benefits that it brings, in that, there's almost always someone to talk to or hang out with. That said, I'm also slightly curious about what living alone might be like.

I will likely be moving cross-country to start my MS1 year and haven't had the ability to get to know anyone very well at any of the three possible schools I may go to. As I'm not yet sure which school I will be attending, its nearly impossible to make any definite plans about where or who I will be living with right now. While my preference is to live with other people, it seems like living alone could actually be simpler/better for my first year, allowing me to, if need be, grab an apt at the last minute, not have to worry about meeting people I'm compatible with, etc. I'm not anti-social and am good at meeting people, so I don't see myself having problems making friends and forming social networks with my peers, but I'm concerned that living alone might end up being more than hanging out, going out to eat/bars, etc. can compensate for.

Does anyone that came from a similar situation have any feedback or recommendations? I'd appreciate it.

 

[CatFactorial]

Living alone is great. No clowns.

 

[Isoprop]

First, your medical school probably has a roommate finder resource either online or if you call and ask. Details should be arriving pretty soon once they have a good idea who is attending. You basically fill out a survey and look for other med students who would be a good roommate match.

Second, I think living alone is awesome. I've been doing it for years ever since I could afford it. The freedom that comes with living without a roommate, IMO, far outweighs the social benefits of having roommates. So if cost isn't a factor, I would always want to live alone vs live with a roommate (unless you count SO of course).

 

[MossPoh]

Non-medical roommates first year...It was ok. It had pros and cons. My major requirement was having a single bedroom and my own bathroom. They were pretty chill and had a really nice t.v.

MS2..living alone. I'm never here. Too cheap to pay for t.v. It is a craphole, but I love that I can't blame anyone but myself for it and if I want to go walk out butt naked to grab a beer, then I do so.

Price really hasn't been much different for me. I think the single may end up being a little cheaper actually.

 

[BigRedder]

Live alone. So much easier to study, and if you want to bring someone back to your place...

 

[WellWornLad]

If I lived somewhere where middle class people could afford to live alone, I'd most certainly do that.

However, sharing a bedroom with someone you're not in a relationship with is just creepy after college. Can't put a price on dignity.

If you go for shared living, I'd recommend living with non-medical school folk. People in medical school have literally nothing else to talk about than medical school, and living with them is kinda like being in school 24 hours a day.

 

[futuremd327]

Hi JubJub603,

I have experience with a couple different kinds of living situations, so I thought I could offer some input.

During first year of med school, I lived with 2 roommates who were fellow med students. We knew each other from college, but I know a lot of med schools keep a running list of available roommates/apartments, so you could check into that if you're interested in living with another med student. Anyway, I had mixed feelings about my situation. The positive side was that I wasn't lonely, and that there was always someone there who understood if I was feeling stressed out. The negative side was that both of my roommates were very serious students, bordering on the super intense, and so sometimes I found it very nerve-wracking that they kept studying even after I put my books away for the night, took a night off, etc.

Second year, things changed. Both of my roommates become involved in serious relationships. One moved out to live with her boyfriend, while the other one kept paying rent at our apartment but essentially only stayed there on weekends (she stayed with her boyfriend during the week). I was not involved in any serious relationship and I definitely felt very lonely and isolated. Second year can be very isolating to begin with, because it's like everyone has figured out how they like to study by that time, and they are all off doing their own thing. Since there is so much more material second year, if you don't study in the same place as someone, you basically never see them. It can be a lonely time to begin with because everyone is off doing their own study thing. For me, essentially living alone just made my loneliness and isolation worse.

I don't know you or your personality, but I would say that if you're generally a social person and you like being around people, I would be very very careful about living alone (especially second year). Med school is obviously hard to begin with, and throwing a little isolation into the mix is not a good idea. If you like to study at home but you still want roommates, I would consider trying to live with other med students, law students, or grad students so they understand your stress and workload. If you don't like to study at home, it's nice to have people there when you get home from a long day at the library (or Starbucks, etc.)

I know I'm not giving you any concrete advice here, but I just wanted to share my experience and make a few comments. Best of luck as you make your decision! And remember, nothing is carved in stone -- if you're concerned that you might change your mind, get a shorter lease so you can move out if you want.

 

[JubJub603]

Thank you everyone for the replies so far. They have been very helpful. I am looking forward to more if people want to share.

 

[JubJub603]

Thanks for your thorough reply, futuremd327.

I've thought about a lot of the things you mention and they do make me lean more towards living alone. One of the things I worry about is ending up living with someone with whom I don't get along very well; I would hate to have to come home at night to a place where I don't feel comfortable studying/living. Of course that has to be weighed against the possibility of feeling isolated.

As a more general question, to both you and anyone else who would like to chime in---do you think that living alone would put one at a disadvantage for meeting people, making social connections, etc.? What I'm trying gauge is how people tend to meet and then hang out during the first year. Do people kind of separate out into cliques the first few weeks or is there a lot of general inclusiveness? I suppose it depends a lot on both class size and who is in the class, but just curious to hear some real world examples; I don't exactly trust the student tour-guides who, at every school I visited, marveled at how inclusive their student bodies were versus *other* schools.

 

[medstudent87]

first few weeks: general inclusiveness.

after those first few weeks: very cliquish.

Find out who you want to hang out with for the first two years as fast as you can because after the cliques have calicified, there ain't no way you're getting into dem calculi. NO WAY! lol

 

[futuremd327]

I completely understand your concern about getting along with your roommate. As I mentioned above, I went to college with both of my med school roommates (and even lived with both of them at least once during college) so I didn't face that problem. But I can definitely see where it would be something you would need to consider with a "random" or unknown roommate. Coming home to an uncomfortable (or even hostile) environment would definitely be an unneeded additional stress.

In regard to your question about meeting people, I do not think that "living alone would put one at a disadvantage for meeting people, making social connections, etc." People will meet during class and any orientation activities your school does. And then, of course, I'm sure you will all go out together at times. I agree with medstudent87 in saying that everyone is very welcoming and friendly at first -- so if you are interested in meeting people, whether you're looking for friends, study buddies, or future roommates -- make sure you attend any orientation or social events during the first few weeks.

The summer before my first year, someone started a Facebook group for my class. This gave everyone a chance to "meet" their classmates before actually arriving for first year. As we got closer to orientation and people started arriving, they would post messages on the Facebook group inviting any future classmates in the area to go out for dinner, meet up at a bar, etc. This was a great way to meet people before the year actually started -- everyone was eager to meet their classmates, and it was completely relaxed because classes hadn't started yet. Our first unit was pretty relaxed too (it was basically a review of college cell bio) so people went out a lot during that. I know a lot of people look back on that pre-orientation/orientation/first unit as a really fun time when we all went out a lot. So my point is (I have one, I promise!), make the effort to meet people in the beginning of the year and you won't have a problem making friends or finding a future roommate.

Second year is definitely more cliquish. People are definitely most friendly early in first year.

 

[JubJub603]

That's how I pretty much figured it would be. Thank you for confirming and for the help!

 

[Knicks]

If I lived somewhere where middle class people could afford to live alone, I'd most certainly do that.

However, sharing a bedroom with someone you're not in a relationship with is just creepy after college. Can't put a price on dignity.

If you go for shared living, I'd recommend living with non-medical school folk. People in medical school have literally nothing else to talk about than medical school, and living with them is kinda like being in school 24 hours a day.

👍

 

[quepatho]

I would hate to have to come home at night to a place where I don't feel comfortable studying/living. Of course that has to be weighed against the possibility of feeling isolated.

My first year roommate was a nightmare. We literally did not exchange any words for 8 months because she was the nuttiest person I've ever met. By which I mean a klepto and a pathological liar. (She was actually a medical student. I heard her chanting something ritualistic and burning incense a few times).

My second year roommate is a sweetheart and I don't know what I'd do without her.

Yeah, no real advice, but try to screen the prospective roommate carefully BEFORE you agree to live with someone. Make sure they aren't going to stab you in the middle of the night with a kitchen knife. That would really suck.

If I weren't so cheap, I'd probably live in a single NEAR people but not necessarily share an apartment with them. That said, a 2br/2ba provides me with most of the privacy I would ever want.

 

[UAAWolf]

Living alone is great. No clowns.

I'm living alone too...

 

[Gryhu]

I'm living alone too...

I was waiting for this.

 

[LRAccord624]

If I weren't so cheap, I'd probably live in a single NEAR people but not necessarily share an apartment with them. That said, a 2br/2ba provides me with most of the privacy I would ever want.

👍 This. I always lived with roommates during college, but I decided to try living alone this year. I live in the same complex as about 10 other people in my class, and we all get along really well. We hang out at the pool, do progressive dinners, go out, etc.

You said that you prefer to live with roommates, so you should definitely look into any services your school (whichever you end up going to) has to help you find people to live with. In the case that you do want to try living alone or you end up moving somewhere last minute, find out what apartments are popular for med students and live there.

 

[Slack3r]

Living alone you'll have lots of alone time...

 

[sunset823]

I will likely be moving cross-country to start my MS1 year and haven't had the ability to get to know anyone very well at any of the three possible schools I may go to. As I'm not yet sure which school I will be attending, its nearly impossible to make any definite plans about where or who I will be living with right now. While my preference is to live with other people, it seems like living alone could actually be simpler/better for my first year, allowing me to, if need be, grab an apt at the last minute, not have to worry about meeting people I'm compatible with, etc. I'm not anti-social and am good at meeting people, so I don't see myself having problems making friends and forming social networks with my peers, but I'm concerned that living alone might end up being more than hanging out, going out to eat/bars, etc. can compensate for.

I have generally always lived alone and love it. I'm not a terribly social person so I come from this from a different perspective, but there is absolutely no correlation between having roommates and being social at school. As other people mentioned, you can live alone in an area near your classmates and still see them frequently, and there are also plenty of social events happening if you are the type of person who likes going to them. Whether you have roommates or not will have absolutely no impact on your social life. I would actually think it's better not to have roommates, cuz they'll quickly see negative sides to your daily lifestyle which may make them tire of you, or vice versa.

I would actually recommend living alone first year until you a) figure out how you study (alone vs. in groups, etc) and b) figure out who you like and work with well among your classmates. I could see advantages to living with someone who will get you motivated or who is part of your regular study group, but living with someone who is gifted and parties till the week of the exam and still pulls passing grades when you need to work harder could become problematic.

 

[JubJub603]

I have generally always lived alone and love it. I'm not a terribly social person so I come from this from a different perspective, but there is absolutely no correlation between having roommates and being social at school. As other people mentioned, you can live alone in an area near your classmates and still see them frequently, and there are also plenty of social events happening if you are the type of person who likes going to them. Whether you have roommates or not will have absolutely no impact on your social life. I would actually think it's better not to have roommates, cuz they'll quickly see negative sides to your daily lifestyle which may make them tire of you, or vice versa.

I would actually recommend living alone first year until you a) figure out how you study (alone vs. in groups, etc) and b) figure out who you like and work with well among your classmates. I could see advantages to living with someone who will get you motivated or who is part of your regular study group, but living with someone who is gifted and parties till the week of the exam and still pulls passing grades when you need to work harder could become problematic.

You've echoed some of my exact thoughts in this post. Thanks a lot for the input (as well as everyone else!).

I don't want to be foreveralone.jpg !

 

[2012mdc]

Live alone. So much easier to study, and if you want to bring someone back to your place...

+1

I never lived alone until medical school and have had no regrets about living alone. The two benefits above plus other things as being on your own schedule with cleaning, having parties, whatever.

A helpful thing was living 5-10 minutes from a decent amount of my classmates so I could easily go over there or have people over. Have rarely felt lonely and the benefits of having true alone time have been great for my sanity during school

 

[OpalOnyx]

Live alone. So much easier to study, and if you want to bring someone back to your place...

study break? haha

 

[Girfaroo]

I was in the same boat as you, never had lived alone before and really liked having people around. This year, I've lived with a girl in my M1 class (found on Facebook), and it was really helpful for getting into the groove of things/making friends at the beginning of the year. But I learned that living with one other person is a lot different than living in a house full of people, and that you end up alone a lot without the benefit of really having your own space. Lately, I've been feeling like the whole situation is hurting me in a lot of ways, even though my roommate and I are friends.

I'm going to live alone next year, and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm positive that it'll be easier to study next year, and that I'll be a whole lot less frustrated all the time.