Loneliness

[ikillmcatz]

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[wjs010]

I was wondering if there are any other premeds that feel extremely lonely out there? In my university premeds tend to completely withdraw from the world 2nd/3rd/4th year due to research hours/volunteer hours/classes/mcat. I've noticed everyone seems really depressed, everyone stopped talking to each other, and people have become more introverted. One of the girls in my sorority dropped out, studies/works literally maybe 20 hours a day, crashes for like 2 hours, and gets back going again. She told me she hasn't had a night off in 2.5 years and feels really lonely because she doesn't get to go out to dinner or to party or anything. Is this normal for pre-meds across the board? Our freshman year she was so outgoing and enthusiastic about everything I kind of admired it but now she's like really depressed, feels alone, and has like zero hope for the future (I've randomly walked in on her crying alone multiple times a week). She's a hard worker, gets decent grades (but takes a pretty hard courseload...which I've advised her not to multiple times), and practically lives in her research lab. After I confronted her and told her that her health is going down the drain with the ridiculous schedule she has, she tried to talk to her PI to try to cut down on hours but the PI shot her down. I feel like in 20 years she's going to feel 80 or smth the rate at which she's going and the psychological hits she's taking. 🙁

Anyway I'm just upset by how she changed from so awesome to so sad in 3 years and I was wondering if this has happened to other people...if it has, how do you deal with it? It's frustrating not knowing what advice to give and I really want to help.

lol yes, all of the things you mentioned she does keeps her from a dynamite social life, but still..that's life. She's trying to get into med school. The "money-wasting" notion of college means go find yourself and live it up and do this or that is totally an american thing...college is about getting in and getting out. The things she is doing now will definitely help her get into and succeed in med school. With that said, I don't see how one cant party it up and still get into med school. But if the priority is med school, then that's just life...don't you think thats smarter than being a social butterfly, having a rediculously hard time getting into med school, and then having med school kick your ass? IDK...I'd rather start working hard ASAP so that the transition from undergrad to med school is seamless. good luck to both of you though =)

 

[Freesia88]

I was wondering if there are any other premeds that feel extremely lonely out there? In my university premeds tend to completely withdraw from the world 2nd/3rd/4th year due to research hours/volunteer hours/classes/mcat. I've noticed everyone seems really depressed, everyone stopped talking to each other, and people have become more introverted. One of the girls in my sorority dropped out, studies/works literally maybe 20 hours a day, crashes for like 2 hours, and gets back going again. She told me she hasn't had a night off in 2.5 years and feels really lonely because she doesn't get to go out to dinner or to party or anything. Is this normal for pre-meds across the board? Our freshman year she was so outgoing and enthusiastic about everything I kind of admired it but now she's like really depressed, feels alone, and has like zero hope for the future (I've randomly walked in on her crying alone multiple times a week). She's a hard worker, gets decent grades (but takes a pretty hard courseload...which I've advised her not to multiple times), and practically lives in her research lab. After I confronted her and told her that her health is going down the drain with the ridiculous schedule she has, she tried to talk to her PI to try to cut down on hours but the PI shot her down. I feel like in 20 years she's going to feel 80 or smth the rate at which she's going and the psychological hits she's taking. 🙁

Anyway I'm just upset by how she changed from so awesome to so sad in 3 years and I was wondering if this has happened to other people...if it has, how do you deal with it? It's frustrating not knowing what advice to give and I really want to help.

Can she reasonably cut back on some classes and activities and not push herself so hard? She could also take an extra year and spread her activities out. Also maybe get her to do stuff with you that is not directly related to school or work. Some activity that can be stress relieving for her. Take her out to dinner or if you're having friends over for fun and games invite her and find a way to make her attend. I think more than anything, she needs you to continue to be a supportive friend.

Real, dedicated premed-ing is serious business but we can't kill ourselves either."Fear Of Missing Out" is a real problem. We really can't have all the experiences and activities and credentials necessary to be a successful med student. That's an important thing keep in mind.

Lol... As pathetic as this sounds, this is exactly why I spend so much time on SDN, I get to interact with people, laugh and learn quite a bit, without having to put the effort into actively socializing. (Not that I was ever much of a party girl to begin with). I literally go from my bed to work to class and back to bed M-F. My weekdays typically run from 5:15am to 10pm. Saturday, I have a morning class, then laundry, cooking for the next week, cleaning etc. Sunday, I sleep and do home work/pre-reading for the coming week. I can definitely identify. But when an opportunity comes up to go out and I can without jeopardizing some truly important activity, like a test or an exam, I never pass it up.

 

[qwe7791]

I can definitely relate to this. Even though I'm an introvert, I feel more and more lonely throughout my years in college due to expectations of myself. Lots of my humanities major friends get to go out every night and it makes me sad knowing that I am unable to join them on their ventures.

 

[cheechootrain]

I do that all the time. But I don't feel lonely. I study and work hard because my desire to be a doctor is so strong, that I will die before I give up. Also, I have all my trains in my room with me so I can talk to them whenever I want and they never judge me.

 

[Procyon]

I feel pretty lonely sometimes. A lot of the times, I think it's just because of my personality, though. I both love and hate being alone. 🙄

Working towards med school is obviously a lot of work, but the way you described things is no quality of life, either. If her schedule allows for literally four hours of sleep, and she has no down time, then she has too much on her plate, plain and simple. Everyone has to leave enough time to sleep, and have enough spare time to pursue hobbies/keep their mental health in check. So the first thing I'd recommend is making sure that that happens. Leave ample time for sleeping and mental health, or a burnout is inevitable.

 

[Procyon]

I do that all the time. But I don't feel lonely. I study and work hard because my desire to be a doctor is so strong, that I will die before I give up. Also, I have all my trains in my room with me so I can talk to them whenever I want and they never judge me.

 

[tarheel1408]

lol yes, all of the things you mentioned she does keeps her from a dynamite social life, but still..that's life. She's trying to get into med school. The "money-wasting" notion of college means go find yourself and live it up and do this or that is totally an american thing...college is about getting in and getting out. The things she is doing now will definitely help her get into and succeed in med school. With that said, I don't see how one cant party it up and still get into med school. But if the priority is med school, then that's just life...don't you think thats smarter than being a social butterfly, having a rediculously hard time getting into med school, and then having med school kick your ass? IDK...I'd rather start working hard ASAP so that the transition from undergrad to med school is seamless. good luck to both of you though =)

I just have to wonder what people who put forth all of their life into medicine really hope to get out of it. I understand that everyone has an innate desire to 'help people', but medicine can't be your entire life. It just isn't healthy to have tunnel vision for the entirety of your life. I don't care if you have the opportunity to be the president of the world, nothing is worth it if you have to sacrifice your life in the process.

Personally, I am pretty satisfied with where I am. I have virtually no shot at any of my reach schools, but I'm confident that I'll end this cycle with at least one acceptance. Yes, it may not be a great school on rankings lists, but I can sleep well at night knowing that my life as a college student, the so-called "best four years of your life" hasn't been wasted. I pull decent grades, but I have never lost sight of the fact that my happiness is more important than any career will ever be.

I am also encouraged by my family, who has always said that we don't need more 'robot' doctors, who invested so much of themselves into the process of becoming and being a doctor that they literally can't relate to the patients they treat. Imagine the situation where you're talking to a post-op patient, just to see how they're doing, and they tell you about a concert they recently went to, and you can only respond that you've never even been to a concert.

I don't know. This is the internet; I should honestly mind my own business haha

 

[Samiamm]

I do that all the time. But I don't feel lonely. I study and work hard because my desire to be a doctor is so strong, that I will die before I give up. Also, I have all my trains in my room with me so I can talk to them whenever I want and they never judge me.

This, I've officially become a premed, or a SDN premed anyways. I'm an outgoing person, but every time I want to socialize, my OCD smacks me. I made some friends here the first couple of weeks, now they don't talk to me because I blow them off if they're even trying to have a 5 min convo with me. Funny thing is, the poor guys are actually tryna get me to engage, I think they're reaching their point though, oh well. I also broke up with my gf, who I told I loved (never tell a girl you love her unless you're sure you guys are going to stay "together forever" because it can make you feel like **** come break up time) and she sent me some spiteful messages, then she STILL tries to be with me. She said "I'm not giving up on you, because I can tell you're breaking up with me because you feel like you have to, not want to" and she's right, because I do want to be with her, she's an amazing girl, but I feel like I'm wasting time when I hang out with her, because that time could be spent studying, volunteering, researching, w.e. hell even logging on SDN bothers me, but I do it in my only somewhat real downtime. It's just how it is, if she's anything like me, she feels happier when she's constantly working, because she's content that she's doing enough, and this is how I believe the majority of SDN premeds probably are

 

[argama]

yeah i relate here. After finishing all my pre-req, I finally have time to go out and stuff and realized that man I missed out a lot and had I managed my time better the last 3 years, I could have been more productive socially. Ah well, that is part of learning and growing I suppose. Also, being a late bloomer to the social setting does kind of suck.

The last 3 years, I barely had any time to go out and have fun.....and on those few rare days I did have time, most ppl I usually hung out with were busy or were studying ahah.

And yes I am an introvert, although now I'm just joining a bunch of random clubs to meet people and try to break out my introvertedness. For example, I decided on pure impulse, to become a mentor for international students, which has been pretty fun I gotta say! It was sort of daunting at first since there were only 20 of us mentors and 90ish international students and I remember the first day, I knew none of the mentors and obv none of the international students. But it's super fun....Wish I had done that earlier. It's kinda tough and the natural instinct to just stay home and do whatever I want is still pretty strong however. Like right now. xD

 

[Freesia88]

I just have to wonder what people who put forth all of their life into medicine really hope to get out of it. I understand that everyone has an innate desire to 'help people', but medicine can't be your entire life. It just isn't healthy to have tunnel vision for the entirety of your life. I don't care if you have the opportunity to be the president of the world, nothing is worth it if you have to sacrifice your life in the process.

Personally, I am pretty satisfied with where I am. I have virtually no shot at any of my reach schools, but I'm confident that I'll end this cycle with at least one acceptance. Yes, it may not be a great school on rankings lists, but I can sleep well at night knowing that my life as a college student, the so-called "best four years of your life" hasn't been wasted. I pull decent grades, but I have never lost sight of the fact that my happiness is more important than any career will ever be.

I am also encouraged by my family, who has always said that we don't need more 'robot' doctors, who invested so much of themselves into the process of becoming and being a doctor that they literally can't relate to the patients they treat. Imagine the situation where you're talking to a post-op patient, just to see how they're doing, and they tell you about a concert they recently went to, and you can only respond that you've never even been to a concert.

I don't know. This is the internet; I should honestly mind my own business haha

Keep in mind that some people may not have the laid back approach to life that you do. And also, some people do not have a support system like family around them like you do. 🙂

 

[ikillmcatz]

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[lobo.solo]

The fact of the matter is that she is doing too much and/or she is doing it wrong--in my opinion. Sleeping only 4 hrs all the time?? There is no actual benefit to overload with units, and do activities that makes you feel like crap. Don't get me wrong, many people work pretty hard, but self punishment like this is not healthy.

I would advise your friend to seek some counseling.

 

[deleted451730]

All these points you guys are talking about include some of the main issues I have with the direction medical education is traveling. For example, the "new and improved" MCAT is not only getting rid of the verbal section and writing sample, it is also adding a "humanities" section because somewhere along the line they believe you can "test" a person's personability and sociocultural knowledge/experience. But, these changes will also require, not merely recommend, biochemistry, genetics, etc. You really think more premeds are going to focus on trying to get a more holistic undergraduate education when the science requirements are increasing? Makes premeds more inclined to major in hard sciences, not humanities.

As well, it just gets more and more competitive. Can you imagine what you'd have to accomplish as a premed student 20 years from now? Will they expect at least one publication from all prospective students? Thousands of hours of volunteering like PA schools do? Will more and more mean better and better physicians? I strongly doubt it.

Don't get me wrong. All these requirements help build better future physicians, but at some point we have to stop and consider the costs. What about balance? What about a life outside medicine? When a physician I know was asked about her life, she said that she buried her head in a book as a young adult and didn't look up until she was 35. Her life was gone and she failed to stop and enjoy it. People just need to find that balance between more and enough. If you're truly passionate about medicine, then great. But at the cost of selling your soul to medicine and medicine alone?

 

[Samiamm]

The fact of the matter is that she is doing too much and/or she is doing it wrong--in my opinion. Sleeping only 4 hrs all the time?? There is no actual benefit to overload with units, and do activities that makes you feel like crap. Don't get me wrong, many people work pretty hard, but self punishment like this is not healthy.

I would advise your friend to seek some counseling.

Her PAS are her "counselors" and from the OPS comments they're screwing her over. If she's really only getting 4 hours of sleep a night then yes there is something wrong.

 

[Mehd School]

She's doing it wrong. I work 30 hours per week, take 17 science hours, and study for the mcat 10-15 hours. Every week, I get at least one night off. If she's claiming not a single night off in 2.5 years, she's flat out lying.

 

[Freesia88]

The problem is, she's pressured by her PI and her advisor to take these ridiculously hard classes. So basically everyone else is partying 2/7 nights minimum and getting the same gpa as her. From this website it doesn't even look like rigor matters so I feel like she's throwing away the best years of her life. Her family is also extremely critical of her so she doesn't have any social support aside from the few of us who see her once in a while to study. Everytime I get her to go downtown with me to dinner or something (grand total of 2 times in two years), her PI/postdoc in her lab calls and says she needs to be in lab. Like wtf why does an UNDERGRAD need to be in lab till like freaking 1/2 am every single night?

I keep telling her happiness is much more important than doing all these things...and being a well rounded functional human being is really important. Becoming a doctor is PART of life, which is a bigger entity and not life itself. But then she talks to her advisors and the junk they tell her screws her over. I hate our university advisors sometimes, they've totally screwed up our minds.

Maybe I'm being really emotional. My grandparents keep telling me that these are the best years of my life and while I shouldn't be careless and work on my dreams, I should also explore and have fun. I just feel like this process is killing her alive and it's really sad if this is happening to premeds across the nation.

And no it's not pathetic that you go on sdn to get your social bite. I've started coming on here for the same reason (I don't know anyone near where I live).

Wow... I do not know much about PI's and lab protocols here in the US but that sounds wrong...maybe someone who knows more can comment here.

Also, bottom line, it is her life and nobody can make her happy. She has to decide if she wants to be happy and less stressed and pursue the actions which can lead her down that path. And she needs, honestly to grow some backbone and stand up for herself. They are not holding a gun to her head to take those classes. If she can inform herself(with your help perhaps) about what she truly needs to be doing for med school and what classes she needs to take, she can tell them all to take a hike. Can she see a counselor? Parental expectation can be brutal but if she can become her own person she can make it.

How long has she been working at this lab? Can she afford to not work there anymore? Because that situation sounds toxic to me.

 

[Samiamm]

[

If she's claiming not a single night off in 2.5 years, she's flat out lying.

This, or exaggerating, I didn't want to be the first to say it lol

 

[ikillmcatz]

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[Slowpoke]

If there is one thing I could do over again in undergrad, it would be this:

Have more fun

Medical school will always be here. You, me and your friend won't. Take the opportunity to enjoy yourself every now and then.

 

[Samiamm]

I can see how you would think that. But I'm her roommate. So I can vouch for that. She's been here doing research and taking classes all three summers since college started. Her PI doesn't allow for spring breaks/winter breaks either. If she gets a few "free" hours she takes some pills and knocks out to sleep (she has serious insomnia issues now).

Well then there's obviously something wrong, and you need to reach out to someone that knows her (family) and tell them, cause obviously she doesn't understand. Not even applicants for Columbia/Harvard put as much time as you claim she's putting in. Plus, taking pills to sleep, there's another serious problem. She's going to burn out eventually, and when she does, it'll either be in the hospital, or by partying, and everything she's working for will go to ****. I don't understand how, if all these things you claim are true, she thinks that amount of work is necessary, hell I thought I was neurotic.

 

[ikillmcatz]

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[Freesia88]

All these points you guys are talking about include some of the main issues I have with the direction medical education is traveling. For example, the "new and improved" MCAT is not only getting rid of the verbal section and writing sample, it is also adding a "humanities" section because somewhere along the line they believe you can "test" a person's personability and sociocultural knowledge/experience. But, these changes will also require, not merely recommend, biochemistry, genetics, etc. You really think more premeds are going to focus on trying to get a more holistic undergraduate education when the science requirements are increasing? Makes premeds more inclined to major in hard sciences, not humanities.

As well, it just gets more and more competitive. Can you imagine what you'd have to accomplish as a premed student 20 years from now? Will they expect at least one publication from all prospective students? Thousands of hours of volunteering like PA schools do? Will more and more mean better and better physicians? I strongly doubt it.

Don't get me wrong. All these requirements help build better future physicians, but at some point we have to stop and consider the costs. What about balance? What about a life outside medicine? When a physician I know was asked about her life, she said that she buried her head in a book as a young adult and didn't look up until she was 35. Her life was gone and she failed to stop and enjoy it. People just need to find that balance between more and enough. If you're truly passionate about medicine, then great. But at the cost of selling your soul to medicine and medicine alone?

The problem I think lies not only with the people who set these expectations but with the students. Sometimes, I am amazed at how uni-dimensional people can be. They have no interests for anything outside of their safe little sphere. I think making all these requirements is the adcoms attempt to push people out of their comfort zones. The sad thing is, we turn it into just another checklist of activities so they add more and we will always turn it into a checklist.

If you can solve the problem of American youngsters being (no offense) generally self centered and quite honestly shallow, it will be a step in the right direction.

 

[Freesia88]

She's been there for about 3 years. It doesn't really pay much, she's says she's interested in the research and also needs the LOR from the PI. But the end is in sight for the research (which I blame for most of this whole issue). She's planning on quitting the second she gets the LOR because she can't handle it anymore. I totally encourage this. She constantly worries about what her PI thinks of her and why he's so ridiculously demanding. The university can't do anything I'm sure because it's our choice to do research...not really mandatory.

The issue is, the second she decides to quit the lab, she starts worrying about how that will look to med schools and to adcoms. I'm like dude your PI is a jerk get away.

See a trend there?😉

 

[Samiamm]

The issue is, the second she decides to quit the lab, she starts worrying about how that will look to med schools and to adcoms. I'm like dude your PI is a jerk get away.

She has a point here though, the adcoms won't know that her PI was demanding, and if she says that she could look like she was making an excuse. Not saying this is definite, but its presumable

 

[ikillmcatz]

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[lobo.solo]

She's been there for about 3 years. It doesn't really pay much, she's says she's interested in the research and also needs the LOR from the PI. But the end is in sight for the research (which I blame for most of this whole issue). She's planning on quitting the second she gets the LOR because she can't handle it anymore. I totally encourage this. She constantly worries about what her PI thinks of her and why he's so ridiculously demanding. The university can't do anything I'm sure because it's our choice to do research...not really mandatory.

The issue is, the second she decides to quit the lab, she starts worrying about how that will look to med schools and to adcoms. I'm like dude your PI is a jerk get away.

Anyway, I just wanted to get some advice because my friends and I are planning an intervention. My life sucks too, but I force myself to watch a movie on netflix or smth once a week to feel a little better.

This is a no brainer here for me. I would quit the lab now in good terms; the PI can't force her to do anything, unless there is something else going on there. She can just said that she needs a break from research since she is being doing it for 3 years already--that on itself is more than other premeds do.

 

[lobo.solo]

I disagree (kind of) with this. While I do see a lot of premeds doing this, I've been an athlete and used to volunteer pretty much all my life. It all stopped in college because of my PI making me work ridiculous hours (maybe PIs are the root of all evil). I have so many interests that I feel-and i'm sure many people feel-that I can't pursue. The only reason I haven't slipped into depression is because I've clung to my materialism. I shop like a maniac-retail therapy works.

I sometimes wonder if adcoms realize what all these requirements are doing to premeds. Rip up the checklist and see how people use their free time. You'll be better able to see their true interests then.

My friend also is on a million charity organization boards, so she's not even self centered. But I like your point that everything shouldn't be part of a checklist. Will bring that up.

I think is more about how some us premeds perceive the process.

 

[Samiamm]

This is a no brainer here for me. I would quit the lab now in good terms; the PI can't force her to do anything, unless there is something else going on there. She can just said that she needs a break from research since she is being doing it for 3 years already--that on itself is more than other premeds do.

I didn't realize she had already done 3 years of research o_o

 

[Freesia88]

I disagree (kind of) with this. While I do see a lot of premeds doing this, I've been an athlete and used to volunteer pretty much all my life. It all stopped in college because of my PI making me work ridiculous hours (maybe PIs are the root of all evil). I have so many interests that I feel-and i'm sure many people feel-that I can't pursue. The only reason I haven't slipped into depression is because I've clung to my materialism. I shop like a maniac-retail therapy works.

I sometimes wonder if adcoms realize what all these requirements are doing to premeds. Rip up the checklist and see how people use their free time. You'll be better able to see their true interests then.

My friend also is on a million charity organization boards, so she's not even self centered. But I like your point that everything shouldn't be part of a checklist. Will bring that up.

I would argue that committing to one or two boards and being able to actually do stuff is better than spreading herself thin over multiple projects.

Unless I have completely misunderstood the information here on SDN, the only thing that is required for med school admission and set in stone are the pre-reqs and the MCAT. Everything else is negotiable to varying degrees. The goal is to find a point where your interests start to work for the benefit of your app package.

 

[ikillmcatz]

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[tn4596]

The lesson here is that it is better to quit the lab early and find a nicer PI than just stringing along for 3 years. It looks like your roommate will just have to power it through until the end. Don't quit right after getting the lor, especially if the PI need works to be done as it can lead to unforeseen consequences. Either that or talk to him/her and hopes he/she will give your roommate a easier schedule or asking about quitting. Just don't quit cold after getting the letter, that is just wrong.

 

[TheMightySmiter]

If you are not getting a proper amount of sleep at night, feel depressed or lonely, and do not have time to socialize, you are doing something wrong. Being a successful pre-med, or medical student for that matter, absolutely does not mean you should compromise your health and happiness. Pre-meds love to have pissing contests with each other where they talk about how little sleep they get and how busy they are. But peeing just a little bit farther than everyone else is really the only victory you'll get out of a schedule like some of those described in this thread. If you manage your time effectively, you should be able to get good grades AND involve yourself in extracurriculars you enjoy WITHOUT ditching sleep or a social life. And if you do choose to have a chaotic schedule, remember that it was your decision and that you have no one to blame but yourself when you are missing out on adequate rest or social activities.

The lack-of-sleep thing has always struck me as silly. People LOVE to say things like, "I'm so tired, I only got three hours of sleep last night...usually I make sure I get at least five!" That's dumb. You should be getting 6.5 at minimum and more is better. Again, if you can't manage this, you're doing something wrong. Remember, there will come a time when you will be legitimately unable to get a full night's sleep because three of your patients will code in the ICU and you're the only resident on call, or because your baby is keeping you up all night. Save your energy for those nights and get your sleep while you can. 😀

 

[kdavidlee25]

We all should definitely take a breather once in a while, go out and party with friends. and if we get a bad grade, so what. One bad grade is not the end of the world. life is too short. Med school will still be here.

 

[sliceofbread136]

No this is not normal, and if you don't find some way to find balance in your life you will fail as a doctor and a person.

 

[gmcguitar4]

Was pre-med. Had the time of my life in undergrad and plenty of time for friends, bands, school. I could have probably devoted some more time to school with all the time I was doing absolutely nothing. Overall though, if you have no time for friends/social life in UNDERGRAD...you are doing something very very wrong.

 

[TheShaker]

Like many people on here, I'm quite a bit of an introvert so not being able to go out as much doesn't destroy me unless I go more than 3 weeks without hanging out with my friends. I used to be like that during my busiest years and I can't imagine going back to that kind of lifestyle. It's unhealthy, leads to depression, and makes you lose your passion. Still though, I think that many serious premeds do feel bouts of depression and loneliness. Sometimes the workload can be a bit much and you have to say no to friends that want to hang out. I know that my friends almost abandoned me at one point because I couldn't go out every other day because I had work to do. People outside of the whole "premed routine" don't understand why you need to get that A, why you need to do so much research, why you need to volunteer so much of your time.

Anyways, no offense, but are you sure she's not exaggerating? I can't imagine someone spending every minute in the lab unless she's running 3 projects and running 16 hours worth of experiments every single day...

Watch out for her, though. Bad things can happen if you build this kind of "potential energy" up for too long in a person. I have a friend who was the hardest working and neurotic (he would make SDN proud) person I ever met when he was in high school and once he let loose in college, man did he run with it. He now has multiple classes failed, a very low GPA, a DUI, and uses drugs somewhat excessively. Don't let that happen to her, she needs to relax in moderation so that she won't take it too far when she does get the chance.

 

[Mountaineer12]

I feel like your friend's case is a bit extreme, but I don't think this is an incredibly rare thing for pre-meds and others in difficult majors. I know as the years went on in undergrad I felt more and more disconnected from my friends who were still focused on partying and having a good time while I worked, studying for the MCAT, and took difficult classes. They just didn't understand why I couldn't hang out with them every night and they started to get offensive about. So, yeah, the loneliness kind of comes with the territory. Hopefully in med school everyone will be like we are so we'll all feel accepted and loved. 😛

As for your friend's schedule, she needs to relax a lot. There were times I worked myself into hysterics and it's just not worth it. She needs to figure out how to relax and stay healthy now because med school is going to be 100000x harder.

 

[ikillmcatz]

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[xroc]

This is ridiculous. There is a point where you have to realize that you are a college student and still need to enjoy yourself. I always make an effort to take off at least a day during the week in which I go out or just sit at home and do nothing ("me time"), whether this means it's by working harder during the week or scaling down on the amount of responsibilities I take on.

I feel like this is a necessity in order to remain sane and human through undergrad, med school, a career, etc. If your PI is making you work like a lab rat, then leave. I would never put up with such a situation, especially when you are volunteering your time to help them with their research (I'm lucky to have found a very understanding PI, who allows me to work around my schedule).

Either way, the point of my argument is: do whatever you need to (take less classes, do less research, prioritize your time better) and then go out with your friends to bars, clubs, w/e every now and then and remain a human being. Balance is more important than being a withdrawn and depressed overachiever.