How do you deal with loneliness and depressed feelings?

[Ohoh2912]

How do you guys deal with stress and loneliness as pre med? I just finished my sophomore year, and I am going through difficult times. Feeling of loneliness and emptiness is taking my life. Due to the busy work in school, I had to give up my social life to maintain good GPA. But my GPA is just average. I literally had no time to socialize with people. If I did socialize, my GPA would have suffered a lot.

My question is, how do you guys keep being happy while pursuing dreams?

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[Balo]

It's a difficult road, for sure. It's great that you've dedicated yourself to academics, but sometimes you need a little time to just enjoy yourself, too. Even if it's not in the form of casual socializing, a hobby would be good, like music, art, casual sports, or an occasional club.

 

[DrRedstone]

I would definitely cut down on the hours you are taking. Lack of a social life is just not worth it when it comes to your mental health. Get some friends that you can hang out with.
If your school offers counseling services, give that a try and see if it works for you. Please understand that this does not affect your ability to get into school and does not go on any sort of permanent record. Plenty of students in medical school use counseling services. It isn't a sign of weakness!

 

[Ohoh2912]

It's a difficult road, for sure. It's great that you've dedicated yourself to academics, but sometimes you need a little time to just enjoy yourself, too. Even if it's not in the form of casual socializing, a hobby would be good, like music, art, casual sports, or an occasional club.

I would definitely cut down on the hours you are taking. Lack of a social life is just not worth it when it comes to your mental health. Get some friends that you can hang out with.
If your school offers counseling services, give that a try and see if it works for you. Please understand that this does not affect your ability to get into school and does not go on any sort of permanent record. Plenty of students in medical school use counseling services. It isn't a sign of weakness!

Thank you for great words!

I find it extremely difficult for me to make "great friends" at my state school. My school is notoriously known as party school. So most of people drink and party and I hate drinking and partying. It might be just me that feels this way, but I strongly feel that pre med or people around me are so competitive and don't want me to succeed. I want friends who are warm-hearted, future-oriented, sincere, and funny, but I can't seem to find one. It's really frustrating. I might as well just give up social life and get good MCAT and GPA because nothing works

 

[Oso]

I would echo the above posters. Having some sort of social support system is very important. I wouldn't give up on finding some friends just yet. Perhaps you could join a group or club of people with similar interests? If you're spending too much time studying then you may burn out and actually do worse academically, which is why I think it would be good to spend some time doing other things. It's also important to take some time for yourself and do things you enjoy, whether it's exercise, art, or other hobbies. Lastly, I would consider speaking to a school counselor or psychologist if your feelings of loneliness and emptiness persist and especially if they begin to affect your school work or eating, sleep, or energy level.

 

[gyngyn]

Start with your school's counselor. Ask if a referral for specialty care is needed.

 

[FutureOncologist]

Life (especially college) is all about how to manage your time. Yes, GPA takes precedence in this path but it isn't the only important thing. Don't end up doing what I did and completely flip the script and just party hard for an entire year. It was a poor decision in response to how I didn't socialize. PM me if you need any help on how to balance a social life with grades. And what helped me.

 

[Goro]

How do you guys deal with stress and loneliness as pre med? I just finished my sophomore year, and I am going through difficult times. Feeling of loneliness and emptiness is taking my life. Due to the busy work in school, I had to give up my social life to maintain good GPA. But my GPA is just average. I literally had no time to socialize with people. If I did socialize, my GPA would have suffered a lot.

My question is, how do you guys keep being happy while pursuing dreams?

I go seek professional help, in the same way I would if I started peeing blood.

 

[DarknightX]

How do you guys deal with stress and loneliness as pre med? I just finished my sophomore year, and I am going through difficult times. Feeling of loneliness and emptiness is taking my life. Due to the busy work in school, I had to give up my social life to maintain good GPA. But my GPA is just average. I literally had no time to socialize with people. If I did socialize, my GPA would have suffered a lot.

My question is, how do you guys keep being happy while pursuing dreams?

I remember thinking that if I could just get to medical school, then I would be happy and fulfilled. Then I thought if I could just match into a surgery residency, I'd be happy and fulfilled. Then it switched to finishing residency. Then passing my general surgery boards. Then finishing fellowship. Medicine and my career didn't give me the fulfilled, happy feeling that I was chasing. Once I was done, I had the same emptiness and thought, "now what?"

OP, if you aren't happy now, and can't find balance in your life, then I'm sorry to tell you that it won't get any easier going forward. Medical school can be variable, but once you hit residency, you'll wonder what you did with all that free time during undergrad.

My advice is to find happiness now. Do whatever you need to get out of the loneliness and emptiness that you are in. Make time to socialize. Force yourself to go out. Your mental health is much more important than medical school. If you need to slow down your class load and graduate in 5 years, then that is perfectly fine. Medical schools aren't going to knock you for that. If you need to take a year off to find what makes you happy, then you should do so.

Medicine isn't going to make you happy or fill the emptiness that you are feeling. On the contrary, it will likely make it worse. I strongly advise you to take care of yourself.

 

[Ohoh2912]

I remember thinking that if I could just get to medical school, then I would be happy and fulfilled. Then I thought if I could just match into a surgery residency, I'd be happy and fulfilled. Then it switched to finishing residency. Then passing my general surgery boards. Then finishing fellowship. Medicine and my career didn't give me the fulfilled, happy feeling that I was chasing. Once I was done, I had the same emptiness and thought, "now what?"

OP, if you aren't happy now, and can't find balance in your life, then I'm sorry to tell you that it won't get any easier going forward. Medical school can be variable, but once you hit residency, you'll wonder what you did with all that free time during undergrad.

My advice is to find happiness now. Do whatever you need to get out of the loneliness and emptiness that you are in. Make time to socialize. Force yourself to go out. Your mental health is much more important than medical school. If you need to slow down your class load and graduate in 5 years, then that is perfectly fine. Medical schools aren't going to knock you for that. If you need to take a year off to find what makes you happy, then you should do so.

Medicine isn't going to make you happy or fill the emptiness that you are feeling. On the contrary, it will likely make it worse. I strongly advise you to take care of yourself.

Thank you so much for your advice. This means a lot to me.

How did you eventually find your happiness? Just like you said, I believed getting into medical school would fulfill my happiness and get rid of loneliness, but I realized it won't change anything that I am going through. Can you please share your experience more in detail?

Thank you

 

[Blakeb_212]

Find something aside from academics that you’re passionate about and focus on pursuing that. For me it was football, but it could be fishing, art, etc. I would also go out and have a good time once every two or three months to socialize when I just finished up with midterms or something.