Looking for some life advice. I lied and I've regretted it for the last two years.

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Hey everyone.

I am starting med school this fall.

2 years ago I was studying for my MCAT. I was under an extreme amount of pressure from family and friends asking me how the MCAT is going, when I will be going to medical school, etc... I was used to being a good student. I got my MCAT back after 7 months of studying and failed miserably.

I was extremely embarrassed and didn't know how to react. All my friends and family were messaging me and asking me how I did. I should have just told them I failed and will retake. But I felt so much judgement towards me, I didn't know how to react, so I decided to foolishly lie and tell them I got a score that was nowhere near what I actually scored.

I have since opened up about my actual score and retake score and apologized to my family and friends, except 1 person.

That 1 person is an undergraduate classmate who is now going to be my medical school classmate. We aren't that close but we did study the MCAT a lot together and I kept my lie consistent with only him.

I am trying to decided if I should sit down with him, tell him the truth, and apologize. I am worried that by telling him the truth, he will lose trust in me right away and may even tell other medical students and faculty what I did since I don't know him well. But I am also afraid that if I don't tell him the truth, he could mention my score when we are hanging out with other medical school classmates and I won't know what to do. I also don't want to avoid him.

TLDR: I made a terrible mistake by lying about my MCAT score and I've deeply regretted it for 2 years. I haven't apologized to all but 1 person because I am uncertain of the outcome.

 

[Schwifty]

I mean, I try to not lie, it tends to make life easier. But if it’s really digging into you should just tell them. But I am curious, what did u get and what did you say you got?

 

[ciestar]

You got into med school, forget about the MCAT.

 

[DrRiker]

"Hey bro, want to hear a good one? Remember how I said I scored a 528? Totally only got a 490. I freaked out so bad I even told my mom I scored a 528 hahaha. Thank god that's over, pre-med sucked, right?"

Conversation moves on. You get a beer with them. People are happy.

 

[deleted407021]

Congrats on starting school soon!

Weird situation, sorry you felt the need to lie about that but I can totally see how it could happen. History of achievement; high stakes exam. I get it.

If it’s bothering you this much you can think about letting them know. Consider the possibility they might think it’s weird and not really see it from your perspective. Maybe just shrug it off best you can and resolve to not do something like that again.

But you’re in med school now. MCAT is ancient history already. Good luck.

 

[swissnational]

Listen, I see where you’re coming from. I’m really sorry to hear about this. Some people may say that you shouldn’t have lied in the first place but given the position you were in I’m not going to judge you.

Personally, I think you should tell him. He can say what he wants but the bottom line is no matter what score he got or what score you actually got, you both are going to the same medical school. You both are going to be doctors. The MCAT doesn’t matter anymore, and if you “friend” would go out of his/her way to tell other people what you did when it really has no benefit whatsoever to anyone else.... well that’s says more about who he/she is as a person as opposed to you.

Another word of advice. Don’t lie about step 1.

 

[DrStephenStrange]

If you're really that worried about it, then you should tell him. But not for the reason that it might come up during a conversation. You're in med school now, and the rule is no one talks about the MCAT. People that do are just arrogant braggarts looking for attention.

 

[sargon2123]

Lying is ok in certain cases. You’re not even hurting anyone here, so what’s there to be worried about?

Just for reference I don’t think residency chiefs, PD’s, or med school deans lose sleep when they tell applicants “omg ur amazing and we’ll rank you to match” or “yeah you’ve got an awesome shot at coming off the WL” and then it never happens because they just wanted to string them along, and yes this happens every year and happens frequently.

 

[Moko]

Do whatever you want. However, no one that I knew of talked about their MCAT score in medical school likely because no one cares. The school and your classmates' lives do not revolve around you. Also, why feel the need to correct this with him when you don't know him well? Just drop it and move on. If you two become closer and he happens to bring this up in conversation, feel free to tell him the truth then, otherwise it just seems awkward.

Friend: "Hey, how's it go-"
OP: "I'M SO SORRY I LIED ABOUT MY MCAT SCORE"
Friend: "-ing... I was just asking if you remember which cranial nerves crossed over. I couldn't hear the lecturer"

In the future, it's better to just keep things vague. e.g "I didn't do as well as I hoped, but it should be good enough", "I did as well as I could have hoped for", etc.

 

[ciestar]

Listen, I see where you’re coming from. I’m really sorry to hear about this. Some people may say that you shouldn’t have lied in the first place but given the position you were in I’m not going to judge you.

Personally, I think you should tell him. He can say what he wants but the bottom line is no matter what score he got or what score you actually got, you both are going to the same medical school. You both are going to be doctors. The MCAT doesn’t matter anymore, and if you “friend” would go out of his/her way to tell other people what you did when it really has no benefit whatsoever to anyone else.... well that’s says more about who he/she is as a person as opposed to you.

Another word of advice. Don’t lie about step 1.

Thankfully it is in poor taste to tell people your step 1 score anyway

 

[deleted87051]

When my daughter was in 6th grade she and her classmates from an expensive private school went on a weeklong outdoor education trip to Joshua Tree. They all came back with head lice. No one knew how they got it. During summer after senior year of high school, one of her best friends admitted to her that she knew she had lice but wanted to go on the trip so she didn’t tell anyone. We all laugh about it now. True friends laugh about the stupid s*** we did when we were young.

 

[sella.turcica]

Once you're a doctor you'll be lying all the time anyway. All those compliments to nurses and patients, what do you think they are for, huh? To make your life easier.

You're off to a good start I'd say.

 

[samac]

I mean tell him/her if it’s bothering you that bad.
But honestly it doesn’t matter whatsoever. You’re both in medical school, it’s a clean slate starting there on the same playing field. Not a soul will care about your MCAT score.

 

[OrthoTraumaMD]

Feeling guilty about lying is natural. Telling people is only to relieve yourself of that guilt. The knowledge of whether you passed or failed has zero impact on the other person, so telling them is entirely for your sake. Weigh the risks and benefits and act accordingly. If the knowledge won’t hurt the other person then it’s okay to tell them.

 

[Dr. Brightside]

Weird situation, but nobody even thinks about the MCAT once med school starts. If you feel guilty about it, there's no issue in coming clean and I'm sure they'd understand. You could even play it off humorously - I know I'd find it to be a hilarious story if my friend told me that.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

You feel that guilty about it, so obviously you know it wasn’t the right thing to do. We all make mistakes, but you gotta come clean when you do. That can be the hardest part, I know. Just come clean and say it from a place of growth and maturity. It will make you feel better and prevent things from ever getting weird should they find out.

 

[AsianPersuasion]

Move on. Now time to think of a better lie for the Step 🙂

 

[Osminog]

Here's how I imagine your conversation will go:

"Hey, remember that really long, difficult test we had to take to gain entry into med school?"
"The MCAT?"
"Yeah, that's it."
"What about it?"
"Remember how I told you I got a 520 on it?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I didn't. I actually got a 498. But I retook it and improved, and now we're in med school together."
"Okay."
"Yeah, I just wanted to apologize."
"Okay."
"I'm sorry."
"This is precious time that we could be using to study for our anatomy exam tomorrow morning. I don't give a **** about your ****ing MCAT score."

 

[Osteosaur]

If you really need to come clean or feel this MCAT is a wedge between you, then maybe apologize? But why would he care? Just treat them well as a friend and if it comes up explain you were ashamed. People lie about stuff all the time.

Once you get in no one cares about the MCAT. Its a hurdle you need for admissions, and a status symbol among a tiny crop of premeds.

 

[deleted87051]

Once you're a doctor you'll be lying all the time anyway. All those compliments to nurses and patients, what do you think they are for, huh? To make your life easier.

You're off to a good start I'd say.

On the labor deck, “Congratulations! Your baby is adorable!”

Truth, “I don’t even like scrunched up babies. God help you.”

 

[bananafish94]

Obviously you didn't "fail miserably" if you got into medical school...I'm a little bit confused about what the problem is? Do any of these people you talked to even understand the scoring of the MCAT? And why would this guy care about what you got on the MCAT?

 

[Goro]

Hey everyone.

I am starting med school this fall.

2 years ago I was studying for my MCAT. I was under an extreme amount of pressure from family and friends asking me how the MCAT is going, when I will be going to medical school, etc... I was used to being a good student. I got my MCAT back after 7 months of studying and failed miserably.

I was extremely embarrassed and didn't know how to react. All my friends and family were messaging me and asking me how I did. I should have just told them I failed and will retake. But I felt so much judgement towards me, I didn't know how to react, so I decided to foolishly lie and tell them I got a score that was nowhere near what I actually scored.

I have since opened up about my actual score and retake score and apologized to my family and friends, except 1 person.

That 1 person is an undergraduate classmate who is now going to be my medical school classmate. We aren't that close but we did study the MCAT a lot together and I kept my lie consistent with only him.

I am trying to decided if I should sit down with him, tell him the truth, and apologize. I am worried that by telling him the truth, he will lose trust in me right away and may even tell other medical students and faculty what I did since I don't know him well. But I am also afraid that if I don't tell him the truth, he could mention my score when we are hanging out with other medical school classmates and I won't know what to do. I also don't want to avoid him.

TLDR: I made a terrible mistake by lying about my MCAT score and I've deeply regretted it for 2 years. I haven't apologized to all but 1 person because I am uncertain of the outcome.

The truth shall set you free.

 

[hamstergang]

Do any of these people you talked to even understand the scoring of the MCAT?

Yes, the one person OP is asking about in this thread is someone starting med school with him. That seems to be the entire purpose of this thread.

 

[AMEHigh]

This is a non-issue. Who cares? I would forget about it and just move on. I never recall anyone talking about the MCAT in med school.

Also, you can fail the MCAT now? I know I got a bad score the first time I took it, although I don’t remember the exact score, maybe 23? But I didn’t think you could get a fail.

 

[Nucleophile1]

Your friend probably doesn't remember what you told him about the MCAT especially since you said that you don't know him well. There's also no such thing as "failing" the MCAT because it's not a pass/fail exam. I wouldn't say anything because it might come across a bit strange especially since both of you are in medical school and you don't know him very well. You clearly did reasonably well on the MCAT on your latest attempt so it's really not a big deal. I would just move on and not lie about your exam scores in the future. If you don't feel comfortable telling someone your exam scores just say that you prefer to keep them to yourself and move on.

 

[jhamaican]

I don't understand what the issue is. You are both going to be medical students so the MCAT is no longer relevant. Who cares if you told him you got a score higher than you actually did back in the day...

To be honest if you worry and think about small stuff like this on.a daily basis you need to reevaluate your daily mental state and try to put that premed neuroticism in the rear view mirror.

 

[twospadz]

Your like the other 90% of people in this world. People don't disclose their situation when they hit rock bottom. Only when they rebounded or are back in the up and up. If you didn't get into medical school or did poorly again in the MCAT, you still would have perpetuated the lie. Just realize your a flawed person which most people are, and keep it moving. This won't be your last time hitting rock bottom. Plenty of those in medical school.

 

[DokterMom]

Odds are good it'll never come up naturally in conversation, but if it does, come clean then. Ex:

Him: "I'm glad you got in. Kinda surprised you didn't get in last year"
You: "Well, my first MCAT kinda sucked, so I needed to retake it."
Him: "I thought you said..."
You: "Yeah. I was embarrassed about how bad it was so I lied. Sorry about that."

If you bring it up out of the blue, that would just be weird.

 

[swissnational]

Your like the other 90% of people in this world. People don't disclose their situation when they hit rock bottom. Only when they rebounded or are back in the up and up. If you didn't get into medical school or did poorly again in the MCAT, you still would have perpetuated the lie. Just realize your a flawed person which most people are, and keep it moving. This won't be your last time hitting rock bottom. Plenty of those in medical school.

This. Gold standard advice OP. You’re human, stuff happens. Just move on and don’t get in this situation again.

 

[Snoopy2006]

Learn from your mistake and move on. Your classmate doesn't need to know your MCAT score. If telling him/her would help you move on (it sounds like, reading between the lines, you feel a bit guilty) then by all means, do it. But don't feel pressured into doing it. It probably won't come up ever again.

 

[RNthenDoc]

The steps are as follows:
1. Shave your head
2. Spread ashes on your face
3. Adorn yourself with sackcloth
4. Wear a sandwich sign that says “I lied about my MCAT score”

5. Nobody cares about your MCAT score once you’re in medical school.

For real, it is very irrelevant. If the guilt is crushing, come clean, but don’t expect the other person to react much other than to dislike you a little bit. Getting a low MCAT score is much less of a flaw than being someone who lies to close friends.

 

[OrthoTraumaMD]

The steps are as follows:
1. Shave your head
2. Spread ashes on your face
3. Adorn yourself with sackcloth
4. Wear a sandwich sign that says “I lied about my MCAT score”

5. Nobody cares about your MCAT score once you’re in medical school.

For real, it is very irrelevant. If the guilt is crushing, come clean, but don’t expect the other person to react much other than to dislike you a little bit. Getting a low MCAT score is much less of a flaw than being someone who lies to close friends.

Could also do the walk of shame from game of thrones.

 

[Endozee]

Hey everyone.

I am starting med school this fall.

2 years ago I was studying for my MCAT. I was under an extreme amount of pressure from family and friends asking me how the MCAT is going, when I will be going to medical school, etc... I was used to being a good student. I got my MCAT back after 7 months of studying and failed miserably.

I was extremely embarrassed and didn't know how to react. All my friends and family were messaging me and asking me how I did. I should have just told them I failed and will retake. But I felt so much judgement towards me, I didn't know how to react, so I decided to foolishly lie and tell them I got a score that was nowhere near what I actually scored.

I have since opened up about my actual score and retake score and apologized to my family and friends, except 1 person.

That 1 person is an undergraduate classmate who is now going to be my medical school classmate. We aren't that close but we did study the MCAT a lot together and I kept my lie consistent with only him.

I am trying to decided if I should sit down with him, tell him the truth, and apologize. I am worried that by telling him the truth, he will lose trust in me right away and may even tell other medical students and faculty what I did since I don't know him well. But I am also afraid that if I don't tell him the truth, he could mention my score when we are hanging out with other medical school classmates and I won't know what to do. I also don't want to avoid him.

TLDR: I made a terrible mistake by lying about my MCAT score and I've deeply regretted it for 2 years. I haven't apologized to all but 1 person because I am uncertain of the outcome.

You are very young and blessed with a conscious heart, but remember you always have to be honest and loyal with your parents in life even when situation appears bad. They are your well wishers and they will tell you how to handle the situation so their grace will be saved and they will talk to rest of your family. A good friend will understand your problem and be non judgmental, share it with that person only after sharing with your parents. One failure doesn’t decide your future, just don’t make it pattern. Focus on preparing well for your Mcat, leave aside the rest of the irrelevant thoughts and become a successful Doctor in life. Good luck!