dlung

Postprelim intern oranges
10+ Year Member
5+ Year Member
Jun 10, 2004
352
1
Status
Fellow [Any Field]
Kinda curious to see what kind of response this thread will get........

"No hesitation, no delay
You come on just like special K
Just like I swallowed half my stash
I never ever wanna crash"
Placebo, "Special K" Black Market Music

Think I'll remember this one in case I have to give a tox lecture to med students someday...
 

po' boy

Senior Member
10+ Year Member
15+ Year Member
Jan 12, 2001
224
4
Portland, OR
Visit site
Status
Attending Physician
How's about these lyrics, recently co-written by my girlfriend and I for my school's pre-match faculty roast, sung to the tune of Springtime for Hitler from the musical "The Producers":

Springtime for Interns

CHORUS:
Surgery was having trouble
What a sad, sad story
Needed a new leader to restore
Its former glory
Where, oh, where was he?
Where could that man be?
We looked around and then we found
The man for you and me

CHIEF RESIDENT:
And now it's...
Springtime for Interns and Surgery
ORs are happy and gay!
We’re marching to a faster pace
No sweat, we’ll take that extra case!
Springtime for Interns and Surgery
Sub-Is are fun times once more!
Springtime for Interns and Surgery
Watch out, Harvard
We're going on tour!
Springtime for Interns and Surgery...
CHORUS: Look, it's springtime
CHIEF RESIDENT: Winter for Neuro and Derm
CHORUS AND CHIEF RESIDENT: Springtime for Interns and Surgery!
CHORUS: Match Day! Match Day!
Match Day! Match Day!
Match Day! Match Day!
Match Day!
CHIEF RESIDENT: Come on, Surgeons, let’s make those students squirm!

RESIDENT "ROLF": I once worked with Mehmet Oz and he just uses too much gauze!
RESIDENT "MEL": For five years I will be a virgin, that’s the life that is a surgeon!

CIRC NURSE: The scrub nurse is coming, the scrub nurse is coming, the scrub nurse is coming!
STUDENT #1: Heil Hitler!
STUDENT #2: Heil Hitler!
STUDENT #3: Heil Hitler!
CHIEF RESIDENT:
Springtime for Interns and Surgery…
ALL: Heil the Chief!

CHIEF RESIDENT:
Heil myself
Scrub your hands
You will cater to each one of my demands
Bring me coffee, make it quick
Grab the foreskin, shove the foley in his dick!
With each suture that I do for you
CHORUS: I’ll sue!
CHIEF RESIDENT: I’ll try not to leave a scar, but please don’t sue!
I’m the chief
You’re my bitch!
CHORUS: Strong Work!
CHIEF RESIDENT: I am sterile, you must scratch my every itch!

CHORUS: Hooray! If you want honors...
CHIEF RESIDENT: Be my bitch!
CHORUS: If you want honors...
CHIEF RESIDENT: Be my bitch!
CHORUS: If you want honors...
CHIEF RESIDENT: ...be my bitch!

NURSES:
Your bladder is going to splatter!
You really wish you’d peed before
And now your urine’s on the floor
Your bladder is going to splatter!
Just five more hours, you can’t say no
Retract that fat, don’t let it go
Feel free to fart, no one will know
Your bladder is going to splatter!

CHIEF RESIDENT:
I was just a lazy fourth year
Watching lots of TV
Got a phone call from Dean Lewis
Said she had to see me
”What’cha gonna do?”
Didn’t have a clue
Thought surgery
Would be ****-ty
But that just wasn’t true!

But it wasn't always so easy...
It was 2005. Mehmet Oz was working the Big Room and I...
I was guaiacing that fat guy on 5 Garden South. And then I got my big break.
One of the chiefs got carpal tunnel. And, would you believe it?
They made me a Resident. Resident!

Medicine’s a myst'ry
Don’t care about the hist'ry
The thing you gotta know is
Where the ureter lives
Heil myself
Do my scut
You will stand there for a month
And watch me cut
You’re always in peril
Of breaking my blue sterile field...
So be my DJ
And choose what to play for me!
Wonderful me!
And now it's...


CHORUS: Springtime for Interns and Surgery!
Clogs are the footwear of choice!
CHORUS MEN: Bowels are being prepped again
CHORUS WOMEN: Med students overslept again
CHIEF RESIDENT & CHORUS: Springtime for Interns and Surgery
Plenty of rectals for all
Springtime for Interns and Surgery
CHIEF RESIDENT: Means that...
CHORUS: Soon we will all be...
CHIEF RESIDENT: Of course we will all be...
CHORUS: You know we will all be....
CHIEF RESIDENT: You bet we will all be...
CHIEF RESIDENT & CHORUS: You know we will all be on call!!!
 

colforbinMD

"Thanks, I'm very funny"
7+ Year Member
15+ Year Member
Oct 8, 2003
799
1
40
Somewhere between BMore and DC
kevindominica.tripod.com
Status
Resident [Any Field]
po' boy said:
How's about these lyrics, recently co-written by my girlfriend and I for my school's pre-match faculty roast, sung to the tune of Springtime for Hitler from the musical "The Producers".........:QUOTE]

Scary! Glad to see that this time next year I will obviously not have to worry about how much time I have on my hands. That being said the first lyric to pop in my head.....
"My friend my friend he's got a knife....... My friend my friend he's got a wife" A classic Phish song that was stuck in my head all day when the woman who was stabbed in the leg by her husband came limping in to triage.
On bad days I tend to walk around singing to myself "Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, now I need a place to hide away. Oh I believe in Yesterday"
 

Doczilla

Senior Member
10+ Year Member
5+ Year Member
Jan 7, 2005
146
3
Stomping Tokyo to ruins
Status
Wow! You MUST be from NYC (as it surely says in your profile). Where is your med school, Broadway?

Far less creatively, I plagarize those who went before me:

"You call me strong you call me weak
but still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head
If not for me, then you'd be dead
I picked you up, put you back on solid ground...

If I go crazy then would you still call me Superman?
If I'm alive and well would you be there holding my hand?
I'll keep you by my side, you're my super human
My kryptonite..."

- 3 Doors Down "Kryptonite"
 

Febrifuge

Grizzled Old Newcomer
7+ Year Member
15+ Year Member
May 7, 2003
1,520
22
febrifuge.blogspot.com
Status
Non-Student
Sometimes, when I'm strolling by the room of a pt who is particularly vocal in their desire to, say, get up and go home despite a BAL of .340, I'll start humming

twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours to go, oh oh...

I know our residents are cool because on some occasions, they will consider and accept the wisdom of Joey Ramone.
 

Apollyon

Screw the GST
Lifetime Donor
15+ Year Member
Nov 24, 2002
20,322
5,108
SCREW IT!
Febrifuge said:
Sometimes, when I'm strolling by the room of a pt who is particularly vocal in their desire to, say, get up and go home despite a BAL of .340, I'll start humming

twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours to go, oh oh...

I know our residents are cool because on some occasions, they will consider and accept the wisdom of Joey Ramone.
340 - 100 = 240 / 30 = 8 hrs (+/-) to clear...if someone is clearing at 10mg/dL/hr, they have serious problems (the chronic drinkers clear it even faster).
 

Jeff698

EM/EMS nerd
15+ Year Member
Aug 11, 2000
1,998
15
Salado, Texas
Status
Attending Physician
Apollyon said:
340 - 100 = 240 / 30 = 8 hrs (+/-) to clear...if someone is clearing at 10mg/dL/hr, they have serious problems (the chronic drinkers clear it even faster).
I think he was refering to the rest of that Ramones song:

"I want to be sedated"

Definetly in the top three songs that get stuck in my head with no hope of them leaving. Like right now. Thanks Febrifuge!

Take care,
Jeff
 

Apollyon

Screw the GST
Lifetime Donor
15+ Year Member
Nov 24, 2002
20,322
5,108
SCREW IT!
Jeff698 said:
I think he was refering to the rest of that Ramones song:

"I want to be sedated"

Definetly in the top three songs that get stuck in my head with no hope of them leaving. Like right now. Thanks Febrifuge!

Take care,
Jeff
Nothing to do/Nowhere to go....

I was thinking of the line you quoted, but didn't put it together.
 

Febrifuge

Grizzled Old Newcomer
7+ Year Member
15+ Year Member
May 7, 2003
1,520
22
febrifuge.blogspot.com
Status
Non-Student
Apollyon said:
340 - 100 = 240 / 30 = 8 hrs (+/-) to clear...if someone is clearing at 10mg/dL/hr, they have serious problems (the chronic drinkers clear it even faster).
Whoa there! Don't talk your voodoo math doctor talk at me. I'm just sayin' there are sometimes patients who (for WHATEVER reason) need a consult with Dr. Droperidol. ;) That was pretty cool, though. It took me a minute before I knew you were actually doing the math for a 24-hour period. Wow, that must have some kind of anti-pimping response that kicked in there, huh?
 

Febrifuge

Grizzled Old Newcomer
7+ Year Member
15+ Year Member
May 7, 2003
1,520
22
febrifuge.blogspot.com
Status
Non-Student
Jeff698 said:
Definetly in the top three songs that get stuck in my head with no hope of them leaving. Like right now. Thanks Febrifuge!
I never said I wasn't evil. (I think I'll put that fine print on my ID badge)